Oregon City courier., April 09, 1909, COMIC SECTION, MAGAZINE SECTION, Image 11

THE YOUNG MOTHER
AND HER CHILD
The Problems of the Second Year Importance
of N; r Development Regularity
of Habits.
BY "THE DOCTOR'S WIFE."
S .'. .
, jisw tecr fs ,iiasiiiiii
fflf MABCABT , flHiv
I CAN fancy your openlnfe your eyes
and exclaiming as you read this
title, "Well, this time Mrs. Sang
t,ter Is talking about an Impossibility.
One might wish to be in two places at
once, but one never can manage It."
The girle who express this opinion
are neither wholly In the wrong, nor
altogether in the right.
Sometimes I have found myself in
several places at once and there is not
a single one of my readers who has
not often had the same experience.
For example, a young girl leaves home
In the morning for, the business office
where she Is to sit at the little clicking
typewriter during a large part of the
day. She has had to leave her mother
at home suffering with that most ex
cruciating malady, a slck-headachc. She
knows that the poor mother will have
no one to help her bear the grinding,
torturing pain, no one to open the Ooor
for the postman or the grocer, no one
to make her a cup of tea. Yet the girl
cannot afford to stay at home and risk
the chance of losing her position. The
people for whom she works cannot have
their business Interrupted.
All the morning while this girl is tak
ing dictation, copying her notes, ad
dressing letters and doing whatever her
duties require, even though she give It
her best attention and does not neglect
the work In hand, her thoughts keep
flying to her mother In the darkened
room. You see what I mean.
It Is a very wearing condition of af
fairs and exhausts the nerves terribly
to live In two places at once. This Is
why whenever we are very anxious or
ti oubled about anything, let it be what
It may, we feel the nervous strain and
are more tired than It Is well for us to
be. For the glii who has a sick mother
a good excuse may be urged.
Suppose we take another case, a very
common one. Before the girl who Is
studying for examination, kneading a
loaf of bread or selling embroidery at a
bargain counter there floats a distract
ing vision of the theater to which she is
gflng In the evening or the little party
at a friend's house for which she has a
new gown.
Nobody but a girl understands how
eften one may be toiling away at a task
that must be accomplished, dressed In
a simple ccstume as plain as a pipe
stem, while she1 sees herself in filmy
white with ruffles and tucks and rib
bons and Uce and thinks how pretty
she will look In her finery.
Many tasks fall to Hie ground half
dnne because a girl's mind is so full of
an expected pleasure that she is really
all day long in two places at once.
As I told you In the beginning that I
had myself personally often known thli
peculiarly complex stale, yu will no:
think I am preaching when 1 tell yon
that you must gunr asainst it if you
ever want to climb to the place whro
there Is said to be plenty of room-ths
top of your profession th success
which you ought to hepe for.
When the day's work Is over and you
are resting before dinr.or In your ki
rrona and slippers. Indulge yourself in
as many fancies as you please and live.
If you chw. In your thought, with
friends n1 counin and dear ones geri
u.aliy m uvcr in giobe.
But I hav? said to myself many times
and I now say to you. "Don't Indulga
y urself In this way if you want to
eet or! tslth any serious undertaking."
In order to succewl In anything you
must put you whole strength Into the
wcrk and put the work In front of
evefytWi e!ix for the flme being-in
front of iK.met love, pleasure rd What-
K0W. i:
ever Interferes with complete attention
to UK uutiuitus ut the moment.
I know two or throe shops where
loves are sold and are tried on by
the customer befure they are purchased.
I have often gone out of my way at
some inconvenience that I might buy
gloves at a counter where 1 could be
waited on by a certain young woman.
The firm, gentle way In which she took
my hand, her deft moulding touches ami
pats and the beaming smile of welcome
that she gave me, never forgetting my
name, and, still more remarkable, never
forgetting the size I wore nor the color
I especially affected, made this girl a
most successful saleswoman success
ful, that Is, with me, and If with me
with dozens of other people.
Had she while waiting on 'me allowed
herself to be absent-minded, to ex
change facetious remarks with another
clerk or to make comments on a frleni
whom she had met the night before she
would have been in her capacity of
saleswoman a person to avoid.
When your time Is not your own. but
Is paid for by an employer you must be
careful that you are not In two places
at once. As Whitcomb Riley puts It
If you are heedless and thoughtless and
In any way neglect your duty, "The
goblins wll catch you If you don't watch
out."
If there Is anything In this particular
talk that you do not agree with, If you
want to know how to avoid the tempta
tion when It assails you, If It ever hap
T
HE family meals may be the
bright spot in memory or they
are looked upon with a shud-
der.
Many a man or woman traces
his o her social ease or lack of It to
the Influence of childhood . table cus
toms. The dining table Is not just a placa
to sustain life; If that were so, nourish
ment cculd bepushed. down In "any
old place." It is the spot where one
comes to talk as well as to eat; here
one should acquire dainty hatyts of
eating and become so accustomed to the
niceties of refined living that it becomes
rtcond nature.
' Too many persons cannot dissociate
refined and dainty meals with expen
sive meals; they think because one can
not have trained butlers, costly ap
pens' to seize you and give you a fit of
the blues, .write to me and let me send'
you a little Individual help.
Low spirits are oftener the result of
trying to be In two places at once than
of almost any other cause. Young girls
should live in an atmosphere of bright
ness and good cheer.
As I would like to be your friend in
downright earnest I shall be glnd if you
will send me a letter, provided there Is
anything you In your turn would like
to say.
"Unnoticed by Her Friends.
"I am eighteen and am considered
very pretty. I know a good many boys
In town and am always pleasant when
I meet them, but they never ask me to
PROPER TABLE TRAINING
pointments, and every luxury of the
season that a well-served table Is out
of the question.
Who has not known tables where
linen, silver and glass are of the rarest,
yet where reiuicment Is not? The family
either gits In stolid silence or converse
only to lind fault with the food or one
another.
One of the most sought for tables In a
large circle of friend was in the Home
( f a woman whs? was. her own maid.
Her hospltilily was so gracious, the
simple appointments of her table so
dainty and artistic, the conversation
so worth while, that all her friends
counted It a privilege to be Invited to
share a family meal.
The dining table should three times
go anywhere or pay me any attention.
How can I have mora notice from
them?"
If you want the boys to notice you
you must not take very much notice of
them. A girl, who Is eighteen, pretty
and amiable, should have any number
of good friends, but she will not got
them by feeling or appearing anxious
for their attention.
Answering Wedding Invitations.
If Invited to a wedding where the
number of guests Is limited and the
ceremony takes place at a home, it Is
well to send an acceptance or regret In .
the form of a letter.
An Invitation to a large reception or
to a church wedding does not require a
written acceptance.
each day he the most cheerful spot In
the house. It should be set so as to
have it as bright looking as possible In
a simple way. Neatness should be Its
keynote; linen, howovor, coarse, Is re
fined" if suilles. and silver and china
should be huniuiaie n their cleanil
nest. There are few families ho poor as not
to afford a touch of gren on the
dining tahle. A sweet potatoe or carrot
grown in a Jar of water will be a
refining Influence in the family life.
While a mother cannot be too care
ful about her children's table manners,
she should not be too Insistent In her
training. There are homes where the
whole conversation Is "Johnny, stop
smacking your lips." "Sally, take your
Your question covers rather a large
range. In a general wsy. It Is enough to
send your visiting card to the house on
the day of the wedding If you cannot
attend.
The Meaning of B. S. V. P.
Irfne inquires what is meant by the
letters R. s. p., at the bottom of
an invitation. They stand for a French
phrase,' which translated Into English Is
"answer It you please."
Anxious to Go on the Stage.
You have studied elocution und your
'teachers have praised you for what they
think is your dramatic ability. You
would like to go upon the stage My ad
vice in one word Is "Don't." Where one
young woman succeeds a hundred fall
In this 'exacting profession. Try almost
any other work, unless you have a bet
t.r equipment than that you have de
scribed to me.
A Question of Courtesy.
Fdllh U met Frank C. a number of
times casually In her uncle s office Hot
wre introduced and she knew him to
be a you" Mlow nf g00d "OC
l; M etng h,m.nafHendsho, a
. party she did not bow, nor recognize
Itnv way. Since
her as If she were a stranger. She
If ..he is to blame for lack of
,QHneertaJnly .howed the young man
that she did not care for his acquaint
ance. He Is quite right In his present
behavior.
The Position of Companion.
l o. .nnim writes that she
Is
looking for an easy position, well paid
and agreeable. She wants advice. Mine
8 try almost anything else if ease and
large payment are looked for. Scrubbing
floors would be preferable In my Judg
ment. A companion has the dlsadvant-
age of being disliked by servants and
often ignored by the family.
Deference to Tour Grandmother.
Your grandmother Is exacting and hard
to get on with. You think It a pity that
slue has to live In your household and
wish she would go to an Old Ladles'
Home.
Undoubtedly some old ladies are a lit
tle trying, but remember that grand
mother was once a young girl, and If
you live long enough you may be as old
as she, and possibly as Ill-tempered.
No trnlt Is more beautiful In young
people than deference to old age.
About Introductions.
This Is the rule: Present the man to
the woman, and the younger to the old
er person. . Do this and you will be right.
elbows from the table," "Bob, take that
knife from your mouth Instantly."
A childhood of eternal nagging may
be the price of good table manners, as
n clever woman defined It; but It Is
too big a price to pay If It means
ruined meals lur all the rest of the
family.' Far better Is It to quietly send
a child from the table when he forgets
your Instructions In good breeding. The
memory Is thus mads much more acute
fhan by constant reprdof.
One way In which refinement Is not
taught Is by letting the Idea get root
that anything Is good enough for the
family. There should be no such thing
as company manners; especially com
pany table manners or company table
conversation.
THE first two years of mother,
hood teach a number of very Im
portant lessons. probably the
most Important Is that learned by the
mother herself the lesson of self-denial.
The sacrifices of motherhood are in
numerable. They begin long before the
child is born, and end only with the
mother's life.
During the first years of her baby's
existence the mother's dally life la 'built
greatly upon sacrifice. But, happily
for her, she has a wisdom within her,
confident and hopeful, and she sees
ahead the golden harvest to be born of
It. Her dreams of the future, and her
faith In It, give her courage to con
tinue self-forgetful, a willing servant
for her child's well-being.
We will Imagine that the mother, un
aided, has the full responsibility and
care of her child. What must be her
sacrifices ..if her baby 1b to pass safe
ly the milestones marking his Journey
'to his second birthday?
Her first sacrifice la to deny herself
all excursions after dark. This will be
hard, particularly if she Is young and
fond of pleasure. But will It not com
fort and repay her for her self-denial,
to slip into the quiet orderly room where
her baby sleeps, and stand there for
a moment beside his crib, watching the
absolute peace with which he breathes,
and the happy look of rest and serenity
upon his face? Ho will wake up full
of fun and good humor, to spend the
long hours of another day without one
fretful moment.
What would the alternative have
been? After an hour or so of JolHng
through the Btreets, In crowded cars, the
baby would return home cross, pale and
til ed, his nerves utterly unstrung. The
crackers and cake offered him By kind
ly disposed friends would, as likely as
not, prepare him for a severe digestive
disturbance, and, carelessly put to bed,
his -outing would be followed by a rest
less, unhappy night.
This kind of treatment Is not fair to
the child, who, unprotected, must rely
upon the oommon sense of his mother
to secure for him his rights. It Is not
Just. The mother who Is caring for
her own baby must sacrifice herself In
this particular, if In no other. She must
see that her baby has a long restful
sleep every night of his llttl ilfe, and
she, his natural guardian, Is the one
w ho must watch over him while he en
Joys it.
Many women welcome the Joys of
motherhood, but try to avoid Its sacri
fices. This Is hardly fair, for It Is
chiefly upon the mother's sacrifices
that the child's life grows. Grafted
upon the the strong root of her self
forgetfulness Blossoms the new branch
of his love. So love and sacrifice are
bound together In that mysterious double-thread,
the strength of whloh Is
sufficient to hold the varying energies
of family life In one, and to direct per
sonalities apparently bound for opposite
poles eventually toward a common
end.
A great and universal sacrifice de
manded of every mother Is the keeping
of her child at night. It is a most
dangerous thing to turn over the sleep
ing child In all his helplessness to a
stranger. If the mother herself grows
wtary and Impatient, can she expeot
greater fortitude from one who Is with
out the Influence of deeper ties to guide
her?
If the baby Is healthy and Is properly
taught In his Infancy to put himself to
sleep there Is no reason for anyone to
lose rest on his account.
If a child Is persistently wakeful, a
doctor should be consulted; for the nor
mal, healthy child will sleep all night,
and sleep through any noise, even with
(he light up and conversation going on
aboul hltn In the room.
A certain amount of restlessness may
be due to a number of petty causes.
To search these out and In one way or
another to reach them should be tho
mother's aim as soon as she notices a
marked lack of repose In her baby.
It Is not wise, unless the baby Is lu
pain, to take him from hie crib. A
little bottle of hot water with a few
drops of soda mint In It Is often enough
to put him to sleep.
He should nevor. If in perfect health,
he fod out of hours. Once a mother
allow herself to feed her baby when
he cries at night she Is preparing for
herself a path of misery. A few nights
of watchful care and a little discipline
should start the baby In the way of
easy, comfortable nights, when, other
than to add a blanket or turn him In
his little crib, he will demand nothing
In the way of attention.
The mother who would guide her child
safely through his second year must
sacrifice to him many of her friends
and former occupations. She cannot
visit. She cannot shop. She must stay
constantly at home. A baby should
nevir be taken Into a shop, nor should
he be handled or made much of.
The program of the baby's life dur
ing his second year is very simplo; It
should be adhered to with absolute regu
larity. Ha should be fed at 7. or whenever
he awakens. Bathed and fed again at"
10.30, he should be put to bed where
be will he entirely undisturbed and al
lowed to sleop there until 1 o'clock, or
even later. He should then be dressed,
fed and taken out for an hour or so.
He should have another feeding at 4.30.
At night he should be sponged off,
fed and put to bed not later than 1
o'clock. Some babies require another
feeding at 10, which they usually take
while asleep.
At all tlmos should the sleeping room
be well ventilated, so as to Insure th"
baby plenty of fresh air In his lungs
while he is resting. The covers may
be pinned about him, so that there may
be no risk of his becoming chilled.
For the child of two there are In all
six feedings. The one which takes place
In the middle of the day may be va
ried by some light food. A boiled egg,
broth, bread and milk, Junket, rice, bak
ed potato and beef-Juice, are all easy for
a child to digest and may be served to
him In rotation.
If the baby Is given bottles, a good
formula is seven ounces of rich milk,
through which the croam has been pre
viously stirred, one ounce of lime wa
ter and two ounces of barley water, i
Some prefer prepared food, which may
be mixed according to the. directions
given on the bottle.
His diet, once It has been established
and found satisfactory, should be
strictly adhered to. The baby should
never be allowed to take anything In
the way of eatables from strangers, nor
should any encroachments be allowed
upon his dally routine, for only In this
way can the frail body of the little child
be guarded trom the dangers that sur
round It during Its first year.
The most important problem the moth- '
er has to solve during her child's second
year Is the problem of building up his
physique. She should do everything to
the best of her ability to secure for
him .the priceless gift of a good digestion
and regular habits. His disposition wlU
be so greatly Influenced by his stomaeh
that It Is of much Importance to find
for him early In his life a diet oh which
he will grow and thrive normally.
After a.., what a cmld moat needs Is a
congenial atmosphere. In which to de
velop his individuality and discover his
own particular gifts. For the mother
to so order his dally life that he Is sur
rounded by quiet and guarded by a
sense of wise restraint, knowing that
there Is a loving forethought for his
every action, Is for her to do the ut
most toward starting him well in the
discipline of good living.
The mother should allow her child to
develop without Interference. If he Is
carefully watched, carefully tended his
life marked by absolute regularity and
precision, she will not need much as
sistance from without to help her solve
her problems, for Miere are likely to be
no problems. Instead she will experi
ence the absolute happiness every moth
er feels when holding In her arms a
strong and vigorous child.
The troubles of the dread second Sum
mer are almost Invariably brought about
by unwise feeding and exposure to the
sun and heat. A child whose food and
water Is boiled In hot Wenther, who Is
kept In the shade, who' Is sponged off
twloe every day, and who Is let relig
iously alone, will have no "second Sum
mer" unless he Is constitutionally handi
capped. ,
Just because of the apprehension of
this second Summer, with ail Its pos
sible calamities, the baby should share
in no way the family life. His little pro
gram should be Carried on without al
teration, till he Is three or even four
years of age. Thus will be definitely
secured his mental quiet and his physi
cal well-being.
There will be two principal' milestones
In the baby' second year, and they will
mark the day on which he out his first
tooth and takes his first step.
In a healthy child the first teeth come
naturally, and there Is little suffering
to look forward to. A few cros days
at most and a few restless nights.
A child should not be encouraged to
walk. When the time comes for him to
do so he will of his own accord first
stand up beside his chair, and then quits
naturally take his first step.
Some babies are backward and do not
walk till they are two years old, and
other start off Independently of their
motlher's hand, at fourteen months. It
Is always best to let nature take her
own course, and to wait until the child
walks of his own free will.
By the time the baby reaches his sec
ond birthday he should have cut all his
first (eeth, should walk, say a few
words, eat and sleep regularly, and be
gin, ah, terrible Chought, to have a most
decided wlil of his own concerning all
the Issues of life, both great and small.
As the years pass the milestones mark
ing the' progress of this will and regis
tering the perplexities and problems thai
confront his mother concerning It, will
be many. They start even from this, his
second birthday, for already he has be
gun to be.
Spots on Photographs.
The owner of fine photographs that
are unfrained is often distressed to see
them the worse for wear from greasy
fingers. The next time you are so an
noyed try covering the spots with a fine
talcum powder.
Apply the powder with a soft white
rag, rub lightly, then blow off. The pic
ture will ue clean and no harm could
possibly be done to the paper.