QB.EGON CITY COURIER, FRIDAY, JANUARY 31, 1908
6
LINCOLN'S JOKE.
Fixing the Responsibility For the Lett
of Harper Ferry.
President Lincoln's Jokes, especially
when perpetrated In connection with
grave matters, usually had a purpose
In them. After Lee hnd taken Har
pers Ferry the president, realizing how
great a calamity !t was to the north
ern arms, determined if possible to fix
the responsibility for the loss of the
.Important position.
Halleck was summoned, but did not
know where the blame lay. "Very
well," said Lincoln, "I'll ask General
Schenck." The latter could throw no
light upon the question, further thau
to say that he was not to blame. Mil
roy was the next to be called to the
presence of tle commander In chief
and to enter a plea of "not guilty."
Hooker was next given a hearing, and
"Fighting Joe" made a very emphatic
disclaimer of all responsibility.
Then the president assembled the
four generals In his room and said to
them: "Gentlemen, Harpers Ferry was
surrendered and none of you, It seems,
Is responsible. I am very anxious to
discover the man who is." After strid
ing across the room several times the
president suddenly threw up his bow
ed head and exclaimed: "I have It! I
know who Is responsible!"
"Who, Mr. President; who Is It?"
'asked the distinguished quartet as they
looked anxious, If not troubled.
"Gentlemen," said the president,
with a meaning twinkle In his eye,
"General Lee Is the man."
There was a lack of mirth In the
laugh created, and the four generals
took their departure with a determina
tion that they would not again be
placed under suspicion.
SLEEP MYSTERIES.
Task Often Performed While
Worker S'umbers.
the
A psychologist was discussing the
miracles of sleep.
"One can become so accustomed," he
said, "to a monotonous task that one
can fall asleep and still keep on work
ing. Thus In India there are punka
coolies, men who turn a fan all night
long In the hot weather while their
English masters rest, and It Is not un
common for a punka cooly to acquire
the knack of sleeping at his task. On
and on be sleeps through the hot, per
fumed hours of the Indian night, but
his hand mechanically and steadily
turns the punka pulley.
"Men have composed great literary
works In their sleep. Coleridge's 'Ku
bla Khan' 1b the most famous example
of this; but, then, Coleridge was a
morphluomaulac, and his sleep was
scarcely natural. But R. L. Stevenson,
Corelll and Longfellow have also done
good work while sleeping.
"Divers sometimes fall asleep deep
down In tbe sen, but some unknown
part of their brain keeps watch, and
at the proper moment, though asleep,
they give the order to be hnuled up.
This Is a good deal like the miracle
that happens to all of us the miracle
whereby If we tell ourselves on retir
ing that we must wake at 7 we In
variably do wake at that hour how
or why it nf Impossible to say. Some
part of us watches, works, keeps
awake all night, so that at 7 it may
call us." New Orleans Times-Democrat.
Penny For a Priceless Book.
A worklngnian once purchased for a
penny an aged looking volumo bearing
date of 1540. The mini tried to read
it, but threw up the attempt apparent
ly In disgust, and the volumo was relo
gatcd to tho cupboard. A frleiiil of his
happened to see the hook and took It
to the British museum authorities,
who promptly made an offer of 90,
the highest sum the librarian Is allow
ed to expend without a special vote of
the trustees. Had the man known
what be was about be would have
stood out for more, as the authorities
would have paid almost any price rath
er than allow tho volume to slip
through their fingers. It was, in fact,
the first book printed by Gutenberg
and was therefore almost priceless.
London Tit-Bits.
Improved on Solomon.
In a certuln Sunday school a little
girl told the story of Solomon and the
disputing mothers In this wise: "Solo
mon was a very wIbo man. One day
two women went to him, quarreling
bout a bnby. One woman said, 'This
is my child,' and the other woman
aid, 'No, 'taln't; it's mine.' But Solo
mon spoke up and said: 'No, no, la
dies; don't quarrel. Give mo my
word, and I'll make twins of him, so
you can both have ono.' "
At Disadvantage.
Bacon Would you call him good
talker?
Egbert No, I would uot.
"How many times have you heard
him talk?"
"Only once." ,
"And when was that?"
"When he was trylug to open a car
window." Youkers Statesman.
Had a Woman to Blame.
"I have hud dreadful luck. This
, tnorulng I dropped my spectacles, and
luy wife stepped on them."
"That's what I call good luck. If 1
had dropped mine, I Bhould have step
ped on thorn myself." Chicago Rec-ord-Herald.
The Poet Answered.
"Do you know that I was born on
the same dayJSmersou filed?"
"Both events bvA a cruel mlsfof'
tune to llterature."-l!oluMulan.
He hurts the good who spare the
bad. Pope.
Phtnt 1121
Hts. IS3S
Williams Bros, transfer Co.
Safes, Pianos and Turnlture Ttlovittq
a Specialty
Trtlgbt and ParcttyDtllveMd Print JUatcnabU and
Satialatlitn 6naraatttd
Partneri.
"Before I engage you I must tell you
my husband Is very particular and
very cross."
"Don't fear. Between us we'll man
age him." FUegoude Blatter.
Couldn't Touch Him.
"I toll you, sir, you're a liar!"
"Slrl If I were a fighting man, I'd
knock you down for that."
"I'll bet you $10 I can prove it"
"Sir, I er never bet"
Real Need For Hurry.
The Gentleman with the Bonnet Box
Don't stop me, old chap! Don't stop
me! I've got a new hat for my wife
In here, and If I'm not quick It'll be
out of fashion before she's worn it!
Drawn by II. M. Bateman In Sketch.
8eelng the 8ighti.
New Yorker (to vlsltorV-There Is a
relic of the past an old Fifth avenue
balloon. Harper's Weekly. .
Any Port In a Storm.
She Just Imagine! Supposing you
were so Immensely wealthy that you
couldn't possibly spend your Income.
What would you do?
He Marry you. New York Mall.
A Tight 8queeze.
Broncho Hob I bear Dead Kye Pete
has beeu hugged to death by a fe
male grizzly.
Hurricane Bill-Well, that's just Ilk
Pete. He never could stand telai
hugged by female. Chips.
Ottlet In Tavorlt Cigar Store
Oppttttt Wastnle Building
Matter For Surprise.
y ""fl
s
She You know, Mr. Jorit"?. I drank
ome poison by mistake once.
He Iiy Jove! Didn't it. kill you?
Tatler.
Between Friends.
Mr. Ilamnfatt I say, McBooth, here's
an article about a fellow who walked
round the world.
Mr. McBooth. An actor, by Jovel
Washington Star.
8tout and Bitter.
The Corpulent Longshoreman So
you both wants to be a boatman like
me? Well, take my advice and don t.
It's a starving perfesslou. IMck-Me-Up.
"A Drop In the Bucket."
TO
Harper's Weekly.
New Duties For the Police.
The aerial police at work a vision
of the near future. Sketch.
Can't Alwaya Tall.
She I thought you said nothing
would ever come between us?
He Well, yon can't tell what may
happen on a pinch. Optical HeyJew.
'
ALB fpp
" "
U
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Crush and ml In feed or salt Proper dose in tablets
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Incorporated; Capital Stock $AA),tMCJ0, Watertown, South Dakota, U. S. A.
. FOR SALE BY A. ROBERTSON.
GONE OUT OF BUSINESS.
Cities Find That Individuals Can Run
Their Plants More Economically.
The mayor of Lowell, Ind., Is author
ity for the statement that tbe munici
pal electric light plant was so.ld early
In September to parties who will In
stall a new plant. Apparently the city
plant bad been allowed to run down
until it was ready for the scrap heap.
Id 1899 the citizens of Le Roy. N.
Y., voted to purchase the electric llicbt
plant. After operating It a few months
the city took advantage of a technical
lty and turned it over to th former
ownerai without having made any pay
ment to them. It Is stated that uhlie
run by the city the operating expenses
alone exceeded by (30 per cent the en
tire cost of lights under private man
agement. In 1897 a municipal electric light
plant was established at Mohawk, N.
Y., -bonds for $21,000 being Issued in
payment therefor. By 1904 the author
ities realized that It was costing too
much, the generating plant was shut
down, and a contract was made with
a company to supply current, take full
charge of maintaining the street lights
and pump the water for tbe village.
This arrangement Is said to be satis
factory In 1893 Ballard. Wash., Installed an
electric light plant at an Initial cost of
$24,000, which was doubtless Increased
considerably during the ten years the
plant was operated by the city. In
1903 the plant was leased for fifty
years to a company which paid $3,800
for the lease and Its franchise and
agreed to do a certain amount of
pumping for the city waterworks dur
ing tbe contluuunce of the lease. A
well Informed citizen of Seattle, to
which Ballard has recently been an
nexed, writes:
"Thereason that the city of Ballard
sold Its municipal lighting plant was
that the total lucome from this plant
equaled. about 30 per cent of the cost
of operating It."
SOLD AT LARGE LOSSES.
Four Towns Find Municipal Plants Are
Too Expensive.
In luka, Miss., an electric light plant
was Installed In 19U0 at a cost of $7,
000. In December, 1900, It was leased
because of the "dllllculty In keeping a
competent electrician," to quote the
words of the mayor.
From Council Grove, Kan., comes
word that the "city formerly owned
the electric light plant, but made a
failure of operating It And sold dy
namo, engine and wiring for $050. The
present company rebuilt tbe entire
system and Is giving satisfaction.- The
rate was a little lower under city con
trol, but did not meet expenses."
Some time prior to 1002 Bourbon,
Ind., contracted for an electric light
plnut and issued bonds In payment
therefor. On the ground that It had
not been constructed In accordance
with the specifications tbe town re
fused to accept It. and the bondhold
ers were compelled to take over the
plant In order to protect themselves.
Madison, Ind., Installed an electric
light plant In 1S90 at a cost of $13,000,
not Including steam plant. Two years
later the plant was sold for $0,000.
The operating expenses alone amount
ed to about $45 a lamp, which implies
a total cost per lamp of approximately
$100 a year. The purchasers agreed to
supply lights at $80 a year and to In
stall and operate an electric railway.
Middlemen.
The first step in effecting a mutual
understanding between the public and
the utilities companies Is to eliminate
the middlemen the legislators who
Introduce strike bills In order' to extort
money from corporations whose legiti
mate business is threatened and the
city bosses and couucilmen who de
maud money for themselves or posi
tions for their henchmen as the price
of granting franchises or privileges
necessary to these companies to con
duct or extend their business for the
public welfare. These men are not, (is
they claim, representatives of the peo
ple, but traitors to the people, for ev
ery dollar which they wring from cor
porations comes ultimately from the
pockets of the people. These men per
form no useful service. They are mere
ly leeches, fattening on the mutual
needs of the people and the corpora
tions.
There's a Reason.
Municipally governed pluuts do not
have the close supervision that Is giv
en to a plant conducted by a corpora
tion or private company.
The officers In charge of a municipal
plant are usually satisfied If tbe books
balance up at the end of their terra.
They have no Interest In the Institution
beyond the time of their term of of
fice. "Let the next administration
take care of that problem," is tho
usual reply when future troubles are
anticipated. And that Is the reason
why the '"next administration" Is of
ten compelled to make municipal own
ership appear as a failure. Maywood
(111.) Herald-Recorder.
Where Ignorance Is Bliss.
In respouse to a request for a copy
of tha latest report of the electric light
plant the city clerk of Topcka. Kan
writes: "The city owns Its own plant and
has no reports."
As this Is but oue of many similar
replies, it looks as though city officials
realize the danger of letting the pco
pie kuow the facts and that tbe aver
nfre citizen Is strangely unlnqulsltlre
shout the speadlcg of public mouey.
Political Theorist Do you believe to
municipal ownership?
Ex-Boss What's the ufi? These
here squealers wou't stay bought
Paklmore American
Half Past Kissing Time".
The Lndy In a Hurry Why didn't
rou stop at once, conductor, when you
law me waving my hand?
The Facetious Conductor Lor', mlssl
Why, I thought you was a-throwln'
kisses at me. Sketch.
What He Didn't Know.
Irate Pa Now, I'm going to punish
you and don't try that innocent game
on me. I know all the wicked things
you've done today.
Willie No, you don't. You don't
know where I've hid the strap you lick
me with. Once a Week.
Two of a Kind.
First Summer Girl Who Is that clean
shaven, handsome boy?
Second Summer Girl Oh, he's an
actor! -
First Summer Girl No. I mean the
other one.
Second Summer Glrl-Oh, he hasn't
any money eltherl Punch.
Generally.
Doleful Donald Some of my bright
est thoughts come to me when I am
asleep.
Thirsty Gus Troubled with Insom
nia, ain't you? New Yoflc Mall.
Absentmlnded.
The Professor Yes, hello, is this
Jones' lamp store? No, I can't tell you
the size of the shade, but here's the
lamp. Harper's Weekly.
A Cure For Obesity.
Landlady (to new boarder, who Is
rather stout) I am glad to hear that
one of my former boarders recom
mended you to my house.
Stout Boarder Yes; he spoke very
highly of it. After telling him that I
bad tried all kinds of antlfat without
success, he advised a short stay hem
Tatler.
Don't Take the Risk.
When you have a bad cough or cold
do not let It drag along until It be
comes chronic bronchitis or develops
Into an attack of pneumonia, but give
it the attention it deserves and get
rid of it. Take Chamberlain's Cough
Remedy and you are sure of prompt
relief. From a small beginning the
sale and use of this preparation has
extended to all parts of the United
States and to. many foreign countries.
Us many remarkable cures of coughs
and colds have won Tor it this wide
reputation and extensive use. Sold by
Huntley Bros., Oregon City and Molalla.
Damascus.
Much land clearing Is being done
1iere and labor is more plentiful.
Marlon Tong has Hugo Leigh clear
ing on the front of his land, where he
will have a very attractive building
place. Dell Forbes has some men on a
very heavy timbered piece of land,
and some say they are about to "Yump
the vob."
Mr. Kingsbury has been working on
a new grade for a road from his hop
yard.
Saturday George Derry planted some
grafted Franquette walnut trees. The
holes dug were five feet wide and six
feet deep; then filled In with surface
soli. All tree growers agree that the
holes were none too deep, and the
grafted trees, the cheapest if they are
from some .well known variety,
these are from the Vrooman Grove
and home grown trees.Mr. Derry Is
taking great interest in them. They
wfir furnisher! hv A. C. Newell. He
had out 150 nounds of the best Oregon
grown walnuts to eat, and the large
number of Damascus people present
all - agreed they were equal to any,
and that' Oregon Is producing walnuts
in navhiK Quantities. 'This was the
occasion of inaugurating walnut tree
planting around Damascus, mere
are many seedlings scattered around
that fill well, but of small value. As
tbe grafted Franquette will bear fully
one gallon in five years from planting,
it is being advocated exclusively by A.
C. Newell, and by those who know him
and of his business integrity, have en
tire confidence in his statements of
what can be expected from the trees.
The Rock Creek school, under the
able management of Professor Ram
sey, will give an entertainment Feb
ruary 22d.
Mr. Roach has a man visiting with
him and cutting wood for exercise.
He intends to return to Nebraska In
tho Spring, ag this western fever is
very contagious, and we will welcome
his return. Lots of room for men like
Mr. Stanson.
Many small farms are changing
kands, which will stimulate many Im
provements.
NOTABLE MEDICAL DI8COVERY.
Of 8peclal Value to Many Hero In Or
egon City.
One of the most notable discoveries
and one that undoubtedly appeals
more than anything else to many peo
ple here in Oregon City is the combin
ation of stomach. remedies in the Ml-o-na
treatment. This prescription has
worked wonders, and there Is now no
excuse for anyone suffering with indi
gestion or weak stomach.
It acts specifically upon the muscles
of the stomach and bowels, strength
ening and stimulating them so that
they readily take care of the food that
is eaten. It also Increases the flow of
gastric Juices, thus getting from the
food the nourishment -hat is neces
sary for health and energy.
The symptoms of Indigestion are
numerous, such as distress after eat
ing, flatulance. heart-burn, sick head
aches, dizziness and Irritability. These
are all dispelled by a few doses of
Ml-o-na when the trouble is recent,
but just as surely In long standing
and chronic cases if the treatment
is followed for a reasonable length of
time.
So oosltve are the good effects fol
lowing the use of Ml-o-na that the
remedy is sold by Howell & Jones un
der an absolute guarantee to refund
the money If It should fall to cure.
Jennings Lodge.
Two more new houses here, and Mr,
Currin, of Portland, was out this week
to add two more acres to their four,
and intends building soon, to reside
here.
John Jennings is very busy with the
plow of late.
Mrs. Welch's sister was out rrom
Portland this week.
Mrs. Shaver is still declining very
fast.
Miss Mabel Morse was out to take
another look at her old home thlB
week.
Mr. Slocum has put out some nice
young firs along his property on Jen
nings avenue, and Mr. Boyes has put
out two acres of them on his place.
People here have again started their
children to school to Parkplace and
Oregon City, after the smallpox turned
out chlckenpox, after all the scare.
Mr. Shaw, of Jennings Lodge, 19
having some more land clearing done.
Well, good-bye, we are not newsy
this week.
Fever Sores.
Fever sores and old chronic sores
should not be healed entirely, but
should be kept in healthy condition.
This can be done by applying Cham
berlain's Salve. This ,salve has no
superior for this purpose. It is also
most excellent for chapped hands,
sore 'nipples, burns and diseases of
the skin. For sale by Huntley Bros.,
Oregon City and Molalla. -
Viola.
Viola Is still alive, and running in
the same old cool-headed calculatlve
way. The Deering & Sevier Shingle
Company Is running full blast. They
put out 20,000 shingles per day.
Charley Miller is making some new
board fence.
Ward's wind mill makes an occa
sional majestic whirl.
Farmers are doing well out here,
but it seems as if some people know
enough to get along without farming
around here, and have fine buggies
and fat horses, too. As Edward
Ficken was away the other day haul-"
Ing fence posts,, on returning home
v
3 Grippe or Influenza, whichever you like
V to call it, is one of the mot weakening
X cLueaiea known.
V
g Scoffs Emulsion, wl-Jch is Cod
V liver Oil and Hypopho3phitsa in easily di-
gested form, is the greatest strengtli-builder
q known to medical science.
It is so easily digested tKat it sinks into
q the system, making new blood and new fat,
& and strengthening nerves and muscles.
Use Scoffs Emulsion after
Influenza.
Invaluable tor Coughs and Colds.
ALL DRUOOISTSi 60o. AND SI. CO.
he found that a few sacks of his oats
had been stolen. This is the second
time that oats have been stolen from
his barn in daytime. There seems to
be a kind of mania for stealing oats
and other articles around here.
Boys, you had better cut It out or
Brownell will have another Job soon.
Teazel Creek.
Nice weather, though cool, has pre
vailed for a few days. The grip seems
to be letting go. All the little school
children are able to attend school
again.
Rev. Qulnn preached an Interest
ing sermon last Sunday. The text was,
"Judge Not That Ye Be Not Judged,"
Matthew 7:1. He will preach at Mis
souri Ridge next Sabbath, the first
Sunday, at 11 a. m.; at Teazel Creek,
the second Sunday, at 11 a. m.; Mo
lalla at 11 o'clock a. m. on the third
Sunday.
The Women's Home Mission Society
will meet at Teazel Creek church on
Thursday afternoon of this week at 2
(O'clock. All are Invited.
Pearce Miller has been very sick
with la grippe, but is reported better.
The pastor of the Methodist Episco
pal Church of Marquam has left, owing
to the health of his wife, who is an in
valid. We are all sorry to lose him,
as ministers are needed everywhere.
The farmers of this section hail this
pretty weather with delight. There
are several that are plowing, prepara
tory to putting In their spring crops.
Mr. McClaren, of Wilhoit, Is having
considerable trouble getting his haul
ing done since his teamster has been
having the grip.
Mrs. J. H. Qulnn was a visitor at
Mrs. E. B., Judd's one day this week.
Mountain View Notes.
The mumps are still raging here, but
in a light form. Some of the children
who have them are going to school
every day.
Gill Vanscoyck and wife, of Mil
waukie, lately from Waterloo, Iowa,
were the guests of Mrs. S. A. GUlett
last week.
Mrs. Gottberg and Mrs. McGrew -
spent last Saturday among relatives
and friends at Oswego.
Mrs. Davis and daughter have
moved from Mr. Welsh's cottage to
Walt Curran's house.
Walt Curran and family Intended
moving out to the mill last week, but
he Is still under the doctor's care.
J. M. Heckart has a smile on his
face this week, as his wife returned
from California last Saturday.
Mr. Selby went to Rainier last week
to work In the logging camp, but re
turned, as there is no work yet. The
mill will not start to running until
March.
H. B. Nickels is on the sick list. .
Mrs. Wilkinson and children, of
Portland, were calling on friends here
last Sunday.
Mr. and Mrs. Grubbs, of Sellwood,
were doing business In this burg
Tuesday.
Messrs. McGrew and Gottberg,' gen
eral blacksmiths, are putting up an
other new building.
Mrs. Mary Kinder and children came
from Portland last week and are stay
ing with her mother, Mrs. Edgeconi.
One of Mrs. Klnder's twins died with
the mumps.
Will Jackson went to Vancouver
Tuesday, to assume his work In the
regular army. Vernon Jackson and
Millard Glllett accompanied Will to
Vancouver.
CA8E AFTER CASE.
Plenty More Like This In Oregon City.
Scores of Oregon City people can
tell you about Doan's Kidney Pills.
Many a happy cltzen makes a public
statement of bis experience. Here Is
a case of It. What better proof of
merit can be had than such endorse
ment? Theodore Huerth, living on Park
place, about two miles from Oregon
City, Ore., says: "I found Doan's
Kidney Pills do 5ust what Is claimed
for them. For a long time I suffered
a good deal with lameness and aching
over' the kidneys and irregularity of
the action of the kidneys. The trou
ble was not severe enough to lay me
up, but was very annoying and pain
ing me. I was Induced to try Doan's
Kidney Pills from the recommenda
tion of a friend, and went to Huntley
Bros.' drug store for them. Their use
absolutely removed the trouble with
the kidneys, strengthened my back
and in every way proved your remedy
to be worthy of all confidence."
For sale by all dealers. Price E0
cents. Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo,
New York, sole agents for the United
States.
Remember the name Doan's and
take no other.
FOR SALE CREAM SEPARATOR:
Barred Plymouth Rock cockerels,
and eggs from our prize-winners,
$1.50 per 15. Geo. De Bok, Willam
ette, Ore.
Aurora.
The dance given at D. B. Yoder's
Saturday night was well attended.
Mrs. J. D. Ritter and sons made a
flying trip to Hubbard Saturday.
G. McGonegal had a new 'phone put
in his home Tuesday.
Mr. and Mrs. Stewart visited friends
around Needy one day last week.
Miss Druce Yoder Is Blck with the
grip.
Miss Ida Troyer Is visiting her sis
ter. Miss Berkey, this week.
Born, to Mr. and Mrs. Ernest Wer
ner, on January 27, a nine-pound girl.
Mrs. Charles Wolfer and family
visited at J. D. Ritter's Sunday.