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About Oregon City courier. (Oregon City, Or.) 1896-1898 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 7, 1896)
v y THE POWFR OF MUSIC. Strange foree, miieealeil In mime forgotten souk, That dost past lmpcx iiml dreams of love recall; And ii h tln not cr. harmonious rise and full CiiiiKt bring to nit In light liili clear uud hi ron is. The forum of ilnir one wliu have slept yearn lu"a: Whom I thought dead, lmt now they live onre more, And at thy call come smiling iih of yon'! 0, toll nio tin' the llight of time was wrong; That nil li r' parkling hopes ngain arc bright, And thoso !nrl years lietween were but a d ron in! Lay not thy li.irp nsidp, or cruel night, The child of day'H bright hopes, hIiiiII o'er nie sieal, And this blest moment but n vision seem, While I xiK'ifn iife'g bitter woo must feel. Boston Journal. A BRAKEMAK'S STORY It was so quiet outside that when tho long freight train would come lo a standstill with an abrupt, awkward Jerk we could almost hear tbe big, drifting flakes us they fell. Not a breath of air was stirring and the big, Tound moon Altered down through ihe snowstorm with a white, softened light that revealed uear-by objects In a Htrungo, ghostly sort of a way. The Boft-coal lire that spluttered Utfully lu tbe old-fashioned cast Iron upright stove lacked cheer enough to break the spell of tho outside air. Without knowing precisely why, we sat mostly in silence or muttered an occasional monosyllabic observation as to how goon we might reach Jersey City. We were four hours behind time and some where back of us we knew was tho West Shore express, likewise behind time and endeavoring to make up something of Its lost run. Sitting lu the little red caboose In the rear of the big freight train, rum bling along through a blind fog of snow with a Hying express at our heels gave an uncanny sensation that I, for one, did not relish lu the least. The drummer who had boarded the train et Newburg sat morosely on a pile of grips, which afforded him a softer seat than the hard, wooden benches strung along the sides of tho car. A couple of shippers anxiously discussed tho prospects for getting their stock to market without having them half frozen to death. At tho entrance of Joe, tho brake man, however, tho glum little party seemed to thaw at once. He swung .down off the roof of the last box car and lu through the door lu a cheery, wholesome sort of fashion that warm ed us at once. "Joe," said one of the shipper, "bo wo going to reach Jersey City afore .Christ mas?" I "Isn't, this good enough for you to live lu? llow'd you like to bo out braking to-night?" "'Taint no snap, that's a fact," the shipper assented. "No, you bet It ain't," said Joe, de cisively. "Hut this ain't a patching to what It Is sometimes." Something In Ihe manner In which Joe carefully tilled his cob pipe, took a bit of stick from the lloor, puked It Into the tin1 and 111 his pipe slowly and thought fully, Indicated that a story was coining. ( "Strange," said Joe at last, with a ruminant look into the lire and a long, steady pull at his pipe, "somehow to night reminds nio of Ihe day afore "Christinas two years ago. That was Jvhen we brought Johnny Haines home, puess you must 'a known Johnny," he added, turning lo the shipper. "Nope. Heard uf him. Co on, Joe. What was the story V" "Not much of a one," ,1m. replied de precatlngly. "Just a brakeman's yarn, only It's a little out of the common run. The llrst day 1 ever saw Johnny Haines I thought he was about the handsomest lad I ever set eyes on. He came up on No. II on her llrst trip. Wo iised to meet often up and down the road and got to know each other pretty well. He was one of these lads with a fresh, pink and white com plexion and a Jolly laugh that made you warm up to him at once, lie was straight and strong, and when ho used to stand Jauntily on top of tho car, the train going forty miles an hour and lie not seeming to think It was moving it oil, there wasn't a girl along the road that hadn't a smile for him as he went by. The lad was anxious to stick and worked hard, and, as he kept his mouth shut pretty close, It was a long time before we found out anything about who he was. He had little ways about him that made us think once In a while that he hadn't been brought tip to work, and his hands at llrst were as soft and white as a girl's. One of the fellows told Us a story of how Johnny belonged to a good family, but (tot kicked out for some reason or other, but we always thought he made It up, and, in fact, we never did find out his story until that night. I mean the nig!" t we took him home." ' Joe stopped, pulled vigorously nt his pipe for a few minutes, blinked rather suspiciously several times, and finally the rather husky voice went on: "It seems that the lad s name wasn y Haines at all. lie loos tnai to con ceal his own. His llrst name really was Johnny, though, and. as that was what everybody called him. tho last didn't seem to make so much dif ference. When he llrst came on the road he was a little past 20, and his open, boyish ways made some of the fellows guy him and want to play trick on him at first. Hut It didn't take them long to find out that he hail plenty of mettle. A gang of us were laying around the Albany roundhouse one day. waiting for a train to be made when 'PHI I-awson negan to nag . ' . ir ho, ..ni.in't ffPt ficht I out of bliu. It eems they had some ; trouble down the road, and when 'Rill' had offered to light Johnny had re fused. Jle tried til keep out of Hill's way, but when 'Jilir said he was afraid, Johnny turned ami walked siUarely ui to him and said quietly: 'You lake that back.' I never knew Just how It was dune, but J till" made some sort of a feint, and tho next moment the big, hulking lubber was lying im the ground. 'Bill' didn't seem to know what hit him. Hut he went at Johnny with such a savage look ih.it a lad without genuine pluck would have turned feather. But when 'Hill' lay sprawling on the ground a second thou we found out that Johnny was a hi entitle boxer. There was an ugly gleam In 'Hill's' eye when he got up, and us he got close up to Johnny all of a suit den ho flourished u big Jackkuifo he always carried. Mow he got It out of his pocket I never could toll. Ho made a lunge, but Johnny dodged clev erly and the knife Just grazed his face, lie was on 'I'M' quicker than It takes to tell It, choking the life oil. of him We started to separate them, but when we found that Johnny had 'Hill' so that he could not do any damage with the knife we let them light It out. 'Hill' dually held up his hand for mercy anil then Johnny let him up. After we got them cooled off Johnny made 'Hill' shako hands, and, though he didn't show It then, I think afterward 'Hill came to think us much of him as the rest of us. "I'p the road not very far from At bany there Is a pretty little farm that runs down to Ihe river, and right ut tho corner of It was a water tank. It happened that on this farm there was a dark eyed little girl who was the Idol of till the boys along the road She wouldn't dirt with us, but she used often to come down to the water tank nnil get little packages which the engineer, who was a friend of tho family, used to bring down from Al bany. She was plump and peachy, with dark eyebrows and long lashes, and under them the prettiest pair of eyes I ever saw. There wasn't one of us who wouldn't have married her quick If she'd had us. But she was sort o' reserved and shy and none of us hud nerve enough to make love to her. All except Johnny. All tho girls smiled on Johnny and he smiled on them. He didn't have to see the lass twice before he was head over heels In lovo with her and It wasn't very long before ho made her know all about It. To woo was to win with Johnny, and regular as his train pass ed tho farm Jenny that was the little dame's uame was always there to meet him. Wo used to chaff Johnny a good deal over the matter, but we couldn't get much out of him. Some how, through the engineer or some body, though, we found out that John ny was going to marry the girl If he could get his father to consent. He couldn't very well marry on the sal ary he was getting as a raw brake man. "Tilings ran along through the sum mer and Into the fall, and we noticed that Johnny had got very quiet and reserved like, and was evidently brood ing over something. At last we found out that Johnny hail been promised a raise, and that along about the holi days he was to be made a passenger hrakemau, and then he was doing to get married. There wasn't one of us that wasn't glad of It. or who envied him his good luck. The fall stretched way Into the winter, I remember, and my, wasn't It beautiful weather! You'd stand up on lop of a car, and as the train wound along the river shore mile after mile, Just drinking In the air and view, liraklng Is a hard life, with lots of danger and pretty slim pay. Hut those days we'd forget all about the hardships and everything else. Johnny was on the same train with me and happy as a lark, thinking how he would many and go up to Albany to live. I used to notice, though, that every once In a while his brow would cloud up, as If he was thinking of something that hurt him. "Such weather couldn't last, though, and when the end came, It came with a squall. The thermometer dropped forty degrees, and a cold, driving rain that had set In In the afternoon turned toward night Into a drifting, blinding snow. We had a big train that night, and with tho snow and the sleet and the cold It gave us no end of trouble. She parted three or four times going not more than twenty miles, and It was cold, dangerous work slipping along the lop setting brakes or getting down to make couplings. The wind howled and whistled and the snow cut your face like going through a hedge. It was dark and the lanterns didn't show plain through the snow, and every thing seemed to go wrong. Several times we thought we were stalled In the drifts, but we'd uncouple and send Ihe engine and two or three cars through the drift, and then back up and take the rest of the train through. We wanted to get through lo Albany, for the next day was a lay off, and two days after that came Christmas. "Johnny and I fought like beavers against the cold, and. I tell you. It was ticklish work. 1 felt more anxious about Johnny than 1 did about myself, for I was old at the business and he was new. and I know how easy It was for a sudden jerk to send a man Hying down between the wheels. Hut John ny wouldn't listen. He said he wasn't afraid, and Jum then the whistle sound ed Mown brakes.' We were sitting !n the caboose, shivering around a dirty little tire. I had frozen three of my lingers, and 1 thought my ears were frosted, tio. You see the storm c:ime so sudden we didn't have time to get on any mufflers, and the mittens were pretty thin. "Well, we climbed out. and Johnny ran on ahead, saying that he was all right and he'd take the front. The ,-ir mi ton were as slippery as glass. and we had almost to creep along from one .-ar to auotlwr to keep from fall- lug off, for sho was running at a good pace, uud the snow on the tracks made the cars lurch uud suing. 1 looked up uud through tin snow ami tho dark I recognized the landmark, and knew we were Healing the water tank, where Johnny's glii lived. Just at that nio mem the train gave a frightful Jerk necessaries of life for hliuseir mid rum nnd I saw the engine go rearing In air, j Hy. Ho Is now in San Francisco with and about a hundred feet uhead I H'oO.OOO In gold colli to his credit. It saw u lantern swing wildly in the air j Is another story of a lucky Hud of rich and go down. I went Hat on the car1 gold and silver bearing quartz, and hung there for dear life. We ' Fierce Is the name of the new camp, stopped In ten or twenty yards and I I Just coming Into prominence, about swung off the car like niad. 'Great , thirty miles northeast of Tombstone, (hid,' I thought, if that wus Johnny!'! It is made more conspicuous because, 'Something made me feel that he had gone under tho wheels, and when I crawled uhead a few cars there I found him, lying all while ami still, lie wus too much stunned to say a word. We picked him up and started to carry him lo tho house where Jen ny lived. I saw Ihat the wheels had gone over both legs over one near the thigh and the other below tho knee. My, but he was a game lad, for all the torture of carrying him up tho hill couldn't wring a word from him. We knocked at the door and said one of the boys had got hurt Ihat the engine ! had Jumped the track. A while little' face came to the door and looked at i us a moment, and then as soon as she saw me and my face Jenny shrieked , out, 'It's Johnny! Hut she didn't faint or cry, nor say another word. We Just carried him in and put him on the bed and she took charge of him. One of the boys rode over to get it doctor, but when lie came he saw at I once that It was no use. It was only. a question of how long Johnny could survive the shock. He lay there very j quietly, and finally when the doctor's examination was finished, he said: "Is there any show, old man'" j I couldn't reply, but he knew as I turned my head away what the an swer was. Johnny was quiet for a moment, and then pulling Jenny's hand with his own weakly, ho said lu a husky voice: 'Little girl, I want lo go home.' And that he Insisted an all tho rest of the night. We didn't think that he'd be alive by morning. Hut he was, and we decided to put hlui on board the morning express. The wrecking train had thrown the engine out of the road and cleared tho track, and when the express came down we j flagged her and took Johnny aboard. I 4 11 I.. n.n.tl.t ..!! ,.... 1,1a' .111 Jl II11V tlulim leu UD n ua null uin ? , ,, , i x- i-i ii i father lived lu New York. Hut she I gave the couductor an address for a wire. We didn't think that he would last , the Journey, and about half way down i hard and then lay back still. Tho I little girl threw herself upon him blug us If her heart would break, but it didn't do any good. Poor Johnny nils feum.. - Joe paused a moment and looked Into the lire. "Well," he said, "to cut it short, when , we got Into Jersey City Johnny's fa-; ther was there. It didn't take more than a glance at his clothes and his portly bearing to tell me that he was : a rich man. Ho sprang Into the car and would have pushed me out of tlu road. I knew who he was, and I held; on to him, and I said: 'Walt a m.n-; ute. Johnny was pretty badly hurt, j He grabbed me like a vise, and said. , In a set voice, 'Can ho live?' I shook j my head, and he gasped, is lie ' 1 "I led him over to where the boy ly, but he didn't want to see him. lie looked very hard nt the little girl who sat there sobbing, and said, 'slow ly, is tlils--.Ienny?' And then ho took her very quietly lu his arms and kissed her. 1 went to the funeral the next day. liiat was the day before Christmas. The old n tin's hair bad turned white, ind his face was as lined and rigid s though he was mounting a scaf- i fold. He was twenty years older than j the morning 1 saw him llrst. It seems that Johnny had been brought up, like most boys, to have all the money he wanted. He got wild and In with a fast gang, and, to try to curb him, his father, who was a wealthy banker, uot hi m a place In a store as cashier. Johnny's allowance wasu't enough, and he made It up out of tho cash drawer. When lt was discovered his father made up the amount, and then sent Johnny adrift. Ho never spoke to him afterward, and when Johnny, after a year's good service on the road, ap pealed to him for money enough to get married on the old man returned the letter. I found it in Johnny's coat pocket the morning we took him home." The train whistled for a station, and Joe," grabbing his lantern, escaped Into the night and the falling snow. New York Herald. Memorial to John Hancock. For lo: years the tomb of John Han cock In the Old (iranary burying ground has been marked only by the name 'Hancock." The bronze marker of the Soils of the American Kevolutioii was placed In front of the tomb several vears ago. and has since remained there. In 1S!H the General Court appro- printed a sum of money lor the erection of a suitable memorial to mark the spot. This has b i completed, and workmen are now engaged In placing it In its position. Just under the shadow of the Park street church. I lie monument U Id feet high, the base is of Milford gran ite ." feet by ( feet, a ltd inches thick. The shaft is 12 feet it inches long, by !t fivt ti Inches wide, and 1 foot t! inches thick. The portrait on the shaft is after Copley, and is surrounded by a wreath. The ooilt of arms of John Hancock, ivu sitting of a shield, on which are three e-.vks on a hand, bearing the crest of a winged grltlin. with the lr.s,'rtptt"i Obsta prliu'lpus." will be displayed on the top of the stone, i niter tiie por- tralt is this Inscription: "This memorial erected A. I. MIVCCXl V. by the Com- fifteen minutes, giving yourseu jusi monwealth of Massachusetts to mark enough exercise to make the blood c:r the grave of John Hanoock."-Boston culate nd to sharpen aa appetite for Transcript. 1 brekfast. The fan acts on the cnea- GREAT LUCK OF A MINER. For Year He Wu Poor as a J'uupcrl Now He lit Hlcli a I'rinco. John lierce Is a Tombstone, Arl., njluer who, up to a yeur and a half - 1 ago, had dllllcult work to provide tho In addition to Its great ore richness, It Is about the only gold camp lu the " JOHX PIERCE, THE ARIZ0XA MIXER, territory. Already there are GOO peo ple there, and empty houses from Tombstone are being taken there bod ily. An English syndicate has secured the Pierce ledge, and has organized with $1,500,000, and It Is said that there Is a prospect of the new camp rivaling Cripple Creek in Colorado. lierce about four years ago took up a claim about thirty miles northeast of Tombstone. There was a water hole In the mountains, and he took the place In order to get the water so be could raise a few head of stock. One day, about eighteen months ago, he picked , , . .. . , up a piece of stone to throw at one ' . .. ... . . , u of the cows when he noticed bow heavy It was. "t'pon closer examination," . am... Ilnpin "I o.iw ivhnt tltro ' r,t " Zrx 'nf tha . ,, ll(irnpi, lt ftllt The result showed considerable gold. I went back and got more rock and took lt lut0 Tonll)s,oe the next day ! and an assay showed nie that I had found a rich mine. The lodge where I nlnborl on tha rnolr wna not nvfr 400 . h . . tr , , tn i ni int- inu- t " ,,.,,.,, nn ninn h!ms,f. . he tQ do M the (lovt,lopln(, work on a . TIrt ,.,,,, . tflk nnt n f , , , . Th(, rfsuU from th,3 sh,I)lnont Wlla s mn u.m. ,, ,., t nt nion. nv . ',',. Kl,..ft 0m1 m diUm g() tmU ,t was 1)ossib!e t0 nacer. the pxt(,nt of tlle After tWs wm.k l)a(1 bpen accomplished some pnrtjos fronl slirPl. city, X. M.. came nIl,n,r ..., i,onded the nronertv for JilO.OOO on a year's time. Hefore the year had expired they sold the bond to the English syndicate for an ad vance of 9HX1.000 and when the year was up, which occurred last week, Mr. Fierce got a draft on San Francisco and he at once came to the city to get his coin. Prior to two years ago Pierce was a broken-down miner, a man who had never had to exceed $10 at one time n,i wi10 was having a hard struggle t0 mukp hoth ends meet. Now he has $250,000, all In gold coin, and, like most men lu similar circumstances, does not know how to spend his mon ey. Ills wife, before he made the strike, had to go to Tombstone and help out the family exchequer by do ing such odd Jobs of house cleaning as she could tlnd, while the son, a young man, now 20, herded cattle on the ranges, r.eskles one son, he has a daughter, who was given the advan tage of the public schools of Tomb stone. MAKE YOUR OWN ICE. ChcmicnU Are rued, n Crank Is Turned for Fifteen Mlnnti'H. The invention of a miniature Ice machine has caused tho kings of con gealed water to tremble in their boots. Mr. J. P. O'Brien is the inventor, and the Ice machines are to be put on the market lu the very near future. The affair consists of a box about th" size and shape of nu ordinary ice box. Pown the center of the box runs n e;, i Inder for the water that Is to be turned to Ice, and around this cylinder are cells, In which are placed the chem icals whose action freezes the water. On the top of the box Is a crank like . t , , Th;s hau du ,s nntd wnh a shaft on which ftre f(l(!t(lneii fna blades. Do you want (of t)ie laT? Just nn np tlie cylin. der wIth watl.r. says the Inventor of the 1 JltXIATrBS ICE MACniX. new style Ice box. turn the crank for Ba N icflls, the chemicals act on tho water. At the end of the prescribed time take out your cylinder, and, presto! thpre you have u round block of gllstenius Ice. Tho cost of Ice produced by this process, t Is claimed, will be y 1.40 u yeur. This is tho amount the company to be formed for the wile of the boxes will churge for chemicals silllhictit to lust a year. T fieri Is to be no other ex pense. The freezer will contain com partment for the storage of household supplies that are n.nuully kept in the Ice box. The freezers are to be made to sell, at the honsehohl sl.e. for $1.1 each, and will last for ten years, by renew ing tho chemicals one a year. These cheniiculu will be furnished by tho freezer company only. Tho company , ti, glorious Fourth l.m passed away, will keep the freezers In order and the fb? Jny dnwns bright with cheer f, chemicals In good condition. i The small Iwy'j chances to survive Xtf good for iMie more year. TOBACCO PRODUCTIONr ; WujWngton Sur. . , Ci , ' Poet-How do yon kno-v the editor Annual Output of the Rates Without , ,t , . ,, , ,, , , Hesard to Merit. isn't In? Olllce-boy I rum your looks. Whatever the clgartuakers or the el- 1 I,llok gar seller might have thought of Wey- i I'll'st Trnnip-Wu you eviv married? ler's prohibition, one class of Amerl-I Second Tramp-Well; I Jlst wish I had can citizens viewed it with undisguised ! U the alimony I ow.-Puck. delight. At llrst they could not be-j "Weren't you surprised when ho pro llevu It true; then when they saw It posed?" "No; why should I he?" "Ev was really a fact their joy broke out j erybody elso was." Harlem Life. unrestrained. In many parts of the country mass-meetings wero held and universal rejoicing proclaimed. The people who have so benellted by the edict were the farmer. For years these honest men have been raising tobacco and offering it in the tobacco markets. Their quality was superior, their curing perfect, their leaves uni form In size, and their leaf without blemish. Hut they could get little. Tho magic word "Havana" forbade tho native Industry from being nppreel ated as It should have been. Tobacco manufacturers themselves knew the superiority of the native tobacco, but they could not convince the iiiiin who smokes. And so the fanner, after l MiTOO.OOC TonAcco-onowixo status. his toll and care had to take medium prices. But all this is changed now. Weyler allows the made-up cigar to come Into this country, but there Is a slight nils understanding about the tobacco leaf, and this Is the farmer's rejoicing. The annual production of tobacco in the I'nited States has been growing greater and greater for several years ; 110 longer willing to do deadly comlmt past. It has never been known as a , for the love ot a woman. He Ain't lt tobacco-growing country, because it ' l,lw1'. though.''- Especially, vhen worn ii not nrn,ln,.e,t nil thp lo.if lr wanted. ' en have so lunch more mousy of their But all who know onr agricultural pos sibilities say there is no reason why a leaf of the Imported tobacco should ever be asked for here again. DUCKS WITH LEGS TO GIVE AWAY They Were Horn in Illinois, and Can Hwim Excellently. Mr. John Cordon, of Mount Vernon. Ill, has a duck which has turned out ; a queer brood of ducklings. One had fotirperfect legsaud feet.and theduck-! limr uses them all in walking Just like ! any other quadruped. The other has ture wharde Postol Puul pints his pis three lens, but the third leg is rather nn ' tol to de Feslons." Washington Times. ri'CKLIMiS WITH KXT11A LKCiS. Impediment in walking than otherwise. The other ducks in the brood are of normal appearance. When It comes to swimming, how- ever, the three and four-logged ducks show their superiority. They are like so many extra paddles or oars to a boat, and they can make better speed than their less favored brethren and sisters. Fecund Insects. M. Fougnrd says that a single pair of aphides will bring 1ai.inhi.ihXkX. ooo.onO individuals of their kind into existence in a single season vf At? months, or. say. during the mr-nths of May, June. July. August and Septvm- ber. ' No other known species of insect wht.-h can he se.n with the naked eye hrls w-itb anvthing like swh amazing rapidity. " '. How times change! A few years ago to speak of a nit Implied that the speaker must have them. k . ' Never Touched Her: He Don't you ever tire of talking? ;?he (quickly) It depends upoa who Is talking. Vogue. Artist That man Bacon offered me' $12 for that largest painting of mine. Caller Oh, then you've had It framed?' Yonkers Statesman. She Young Baggie, I bc-leve, takes his fences well? IIo Yaas splendid ly; but It's a pity his horse diesn't takir 'em at the same time. .Sydney Bullo- i tin. "There!" hissed tie Jealous .Moor; j "how do you feel now?" "Down In I the mouth," gasped, the Irrepressible j Desdenioua from beueath her pillow, Puck. "It Is simply astonishing the way the' bicycle is displacing t'u horse!" "It Is, Indeed. Yesterday I found a piece of rubber tiro la my sausage." Cincinnati Enquirer.. Brown Have you r-MJd this article upon "How to Tell a Boj! Egg?" Jones No, but If you have anything to tell a bad egg, niy advice U to break It gently. Up-to-Date. Miss Rechere (IndignnntIy)Dld you' tell Jim Jackson dat ef lie married nie he'd hab a white elephant on hees hands? MIbs Snoflalke No, Indeed, I didn't! Do.y' fluk I'se - color-blind ? Tuck. Amicus Why, do you we the ex pression funny joke? Aren't all Jokes funny? Editor Not by ai long shot. The jokes that other fellows get off at your expeuse are never funny. Truth. "It seems tci me, Miranda," mildly observed Mr. Meeks, "tluse cakes would be considerably Improved by tha addition of a little more gingvr." "So would you, William," briefly responded Mrs. Meeks. Chicago Trlbuntj. "Well, girls, Jack and I. are to be married at hist,. and we are happy!" "Did you and .lack have some troublo ,'.n getting your father's consent?" "No, papa and I hail a lot of trouble In get ting. Jack's consent." Exchange. Mrs. Browm-l have been so. annoyed nt my husband. lie has b'.-u at tho club every night for a week. Mrs. Joues Why,, so has niy husband, and . he said he hadn't seen anything of your husband for a week. Brooklyn Life. She It seems strange that men are- own these dajV. Indianapolis Journal. . "I once kutfw a man," snJd the Im- -aginative boarder, "who w.n so fat that: he was actually taller Ijini; down than when he was standing 113. What do. you think. oC that?" "It, strikes me," said the cheerful Idiot, "as pretty tall, lying." Indianapolis Journal. A Dangerous Text: "Well, Fncle- Basbury,.hw did you like the sermon?" "Pow ful. hue sermon.. Mirse John..' "W nero- oiii me preiiciK-r taKe n;a text?" "Frum dat po'tioit ob de Scrip- Fair Patient Is there no way of tell j lng exactly what Is. the matter with j me? Dr. Eunice Only a post-mortem ' examination would reveal that. Fair j Patient Then, for heaven's sake, make j one. I don't seo- why I should be j squeamish at such a time as this. Pick-. 1 Me-l'p. i "Modern society," observed Ihe ycaing- man, contemplatively, "h;s revised. : most of the old-time proverbs." "les," observed the chaperon, to whom I, had. just handed au Ice, "for Instance-, now I ndays we eay, 'When the husband ; comes in at the door, the lover ties out of the window.' "Exchange. First Summer Girl Are yon gohnj t that old Christian Endeavor mtyUfg this evening? Second Sumaier ;iii Y'es. indeed! Haven't you lireuM the subject to be discussed? First Samruer Girl No; what Is It? Second Summer Girl "How to Hold Our Young lien." Nsw York Press, ' I was very glad. Mabel, to stc yo-.i among those who were received into the church last Sunday." "Yes. auntie, but I w as so provoked with the clergy man! He gave me the old-style, tin fashionaWe hands.hake. And he gets salary of JtS.000 a year!" Chicago TriV une. 'Ka-stus. you Infernal nigger. y,a told we that mule was perfectly scife, and when I went Into tb.e stabU he nearly KicKea tne top or my head off." "Yes- Ma: 1 de mew wi safe, eah- Bnt f yo' kln "woHect, 1 didn't fay nuffin' about wedder It was safe in his wic'.nlty. Dat mewl is abh enough to be isfe anywhar." Wash lcgton Star. 1