lSJ6U8L2
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WEDDED TO A ROYAL RAKE
. Few roral nersomiKes la Europe tie
fcerve more sympathy than the queen
t me IwiK'HIin, wiiuse uuauuuua cbi-u-
nadcs with stage celebrities and others
tiave nearly driven IiIm wife Insane.
(King Leopold In IK) years of age, but
C' hows Iltllo sign of abating the wan
flloiiM behavior which him made his
name a byword for years. At one time
i -
THE (JUKEN OP BELGIUM
his excesses la Ixiudon landed him In a
police court, and his inost gracious
majesty hail considerable dilllenlty In
escaping the punishment so often dealt
out to plebeian roysterers a mouth In
fall. Ills scandalous doings have caus
ed untold grief to tils wife, whose
tastes and habits are of a domesticated
character. I lor majesty lias made ev
ery effort to wean him from his un
seemly ways, but has met with little
or no success.
I Don't for the Mummer Girl.
Don't giggle.
Don't listen to scandal.
Don't defy public opinion.
Don't play on the bote! pluno.
Don't believe everything you hear.
Don't sleep all day and dunce all night.
Don't form lifelong friendships In
three days.
Don't have "heart talks" with every
man you know. '
Don't read "Harry's" letters aloud to
your girl friends.
Don't go rowing with the young man
Hvho tlps'ho boat
Don't refuse to marry a good man If
you get the chance.
Don't tell your admirers all the se
crets of your girl friends.
Don't become engaged to more than
two men at the same time.
Don't put on your bathing suit unless
you're going Into the water.
Don't join sailing parties unless you
can stand a little rough weather.
Don't snub your mother or maiden
tint In public. It doesn't look well.
Dou't try to protect your complexion.
Give the sun and fresh air an Inning.
Don't sing, unless nature has given
you a voice which will not cause others
pain.
Don't trust the gentleman who has
married unhappily and wishes to tell
you all alxmt It.
Don't forget that half an hour of ex
ercise In the open air Is worth more
than all the nerve tonics In the market.
Don't forget that the summer hotel
veranda Is the happy hunting-ground
f the most merciless gossips on earth.
Don't waste too much sympathy on
"poor George, working away In the
hot city." George is getting along very
nicely. I
Don't make your willing slaves fas
ten your shoestrings moro than seven
times In the course of one day. The
novelty wears off. New York World.
Monker Pkln Card Caaea.
Professor Garner Is not the only man
who has found a new use for the mon
key. The up-to-date Joweler Is fully
equal In this respect. The Jeweler, to
be sure, has turned the monkey to dec
orative rather than philological ac
count, but the service to the world at
large Is still very great. This Is at
once apparent when It Is stated that all
the newest card cases are of monkey
kin. They are ornamented with an
applied decoration of enameled silver,
patterned after the early spring flow
ers. The blooms are life size and as
like the original as possible, both In
form and color. The effect Is very pret
ty, as the flowers lie upon their leather
background as gracefully as If care
less band had flung them there.
One Multi-Millionaire' Wife.
Mrs. Krueger, wife of President
Krueger of the Transvaal, who Is an
extromely homely woman, docs nearly
all her own housework, cooking meals,
making her own tied and always tak
ing a hand In the family washing.
When her husband has "state guests"
to dinner the good lady will trust the
task of waiting on the table to no one,
and donning a white apron she per
forms the office of butler. Her hus
band has a private fortune or $23,000,
000, but It's "Aunty" Krucger'a boast
that they live on their "coffee money"
a perquisite of $2,000 a year allowed
them by the government
Paved Money and Loat Credit.
An amusing Incident occurred at a
fashionable wedding In this city. One
friend, who determined to save her
money and credit at the same time,
took a broken earring to a fnmous Jew
eler of Slate street and ordered the
little stone to be set aa a scarf pin. for
mi ti&m ii
' if- w '
the groom. As she eagerly remarked:
"It does me no good, and coming from
such a famous establishment they are
sure to prize It and think I paid a lot
of money." When the package was re
turned from the shop the wedding
guest failed to examine her proposed
present and merely dispatched It with
her card u ml compliments. Imagine
her disgust when strolling through the
rooms where the bridal gifts were dis
played to Unci a dozen people about her
offering and each one smiling. For a
moment sho hesitated, then pressed
forward, and lo! there was the precious
white satin covered box bearing the
prized name, It Is true, but, slas! below,
"From the repairing department;" and
even worse than all, resting on the blue
cotton beside the pin was an old broken
bit of earring, returned by the con
scientious firm. Chicago Chronicle.
Jap Reform Their Dreaa.
The Empress of Japan has discarded
the picturesque costume of her coun
try. Her majesty's wardrobe Is made
In I'aris, and she has a decided prefer
ence for tight-fitting, sniall-walsted
gowns. The royal exomple Is followed
by the ladles of the court, and state
functions no longer present their form
er polychromatic appearance. It Is a
curious coincidence that the discarded
Japanese costume combines all the
latest Ideas on dress reform embodied
by Its apostles here and In Europe.
Part Her Huir on the fide.
Flnffv Iuiiil's. and even the coquet
tish waves that so graciously conceal
the Imperfections of nn ugly forehead,
are, as well as the girl thnt wears
them, out of date. The mannish gin
Is at the height of the fashion, and she
Is astounding thousands of her prim
mer sisters by parting her hair at tue
side.
Absolute severity and simplicity Is
the motto of the nw hair-dressing.
Twist or coll or braid or do whatever
vou will with your back hair, so long
as the result Is modest ami Inconspic
uous, but under no circumstances must
you venture to impart a feminine curl
to the front locks.
Royal Wheelwonien.
Nenrlv all the members of the royal
family of England are cyclists. Princess
Victoria of Wales, the Duchess of Fire,
Princess Louise, the Marchioness of
Lome and Princess Henry of Batten-
hori? nil ride and are enthusiasts. The
Queen of Italy had her first bicycle
lessons lust summer, but is aireaay aa
expert. She required only twelve les
sons to become proficient
Whnt Women Are Doing.
During the absence of three months
of Rev. Mr. Cochrane of the Unitarian
Church at Bar Harbor, Maine, his wife
will attend to all his ministerial duties.
Three different books have recently
been devoted to Joan of Arc and a
fourth Is coming. Mrs. Ollphant Is
writing a history of the maid for "The
Heroes of the Nations" series.
Mrs. Frances Eleanor Trollope has
just published the life and letters of
Mrs. Frances Trollope, her mother-in-law,
who wrote a book on American
customs and manners that gave great
offense.
Miss Gladstone, daughter of the ex
prdeuiler, who hffl recently accepted
the presidency of tho Cutubridge Wom
en's Liberal Club, made her first ap
pearance recently at a largely attended
meeting.
There Is a woman dentist In New
York who Is fast attaining popularity
and fortune. She Is a German by
birth, and has a large clientele among
the singers and other musicians of her
own nationality In the city.
LATEST EDICT foil TUB TAII.OB-MADK
GIRL.
Late Spring Coatume.
mi p
HI w
KISS ME GOOD NIGHT."
Kin ro good nlitlitl Tbe day Is dona,
Acroi Ilfu' bill tho uu bat vet;
All, all, nave left me; ouly one
Remain to lovu n or foriretf
Wo Nturtvd ncuwnrcl, to lovu' luui!.
Hmirt Kind with flowera, huu and light
Loat in tux uurkutwH, now we tuiid.
Kiwi mo good nlulitl
Kim mo good iilifht! Our lovely year
U folded up mid put away,
Tho nilntH are round uh ami a tear
Ik all tho pruy'r I huvii to pray.
Why do I wk-jiJ I only know
Life' awful mystery nriulit.
You paujc, and I have loved yon ao.
Klw Jim good nlulitl
KIh me good nlk'htl No more be said.
For u whut oim tomorrow bring?
A ory of pain for what i duud? .
Another Now Year' wing to alngf
Time' Hliudow elnsti around na font,
Our lamp of lovo 1m ntlll alight, '
Ob, that wo might rullv.i the paatl
Kl" iuo good nlghtl
Clement Scott.
A WOULD BE FLIRT.
"If a woman really is in love with
ber hut-bund, she cannot expect to have
a very good time at dunce." .
So spoke the dearest little woman in
all the world late one evening on re
turning from a ploasaut entertainment
given by one of our neighbors, as she
sank wearily into one of the big sofa
roshious tliut adorned the couch of onr
room.
I knew by the enrious way she had
acted during onr short walk home that
jouiotliiiiK was troubling her pretty
bead, so I preserved a discreet silence
fter the utterance of the above remark.
She gave me a quick glance to notice
the effect bf her words, and seeing me
buuily engaged in removing a bunch of
white curuatiuus from the lapel of my
dress ooat she continued :
"She may enjoy herself after a fashion,
bnt in order to thrill as she did as a
girl it is necessary to be interested more
w less in somebody else. " ,
Still I kept silent, and gathering
courage from pure luck of opposition she
went on :,
"If I were only able to flirt, I could
get along famously. I huve often seen
other women add this variety to their
lives, and as far as I could ever find
out no barm resulted. "
"Pray do not abstain from any such
snjoyment on my account," I interposed.
"Don t flatter yourself, my dear," she
aid. "I have the inner consciousness
(hat I have tried and failed yes, failed
ntterly."
"Tried what?"
"Tried to flirt, yon goose. Idetermin
3d to try it just as an experiment. I'll
tell yon all about it if yon won't inter
rupt me and will be real good to me for
the rest of my life.
"Yes, I tried desperately to imagine
myself an ill treated woman; that I
bated you terribly, and finally to make
myself believe that such a person aa
Geoffrey Gordon never existed, bat to
what an end f Just as I fancied I was
succeeding, yoa would bob np serenely
Into visiou and there yon weald stay, no
matter how hard I tried to forget yon. "
Of late, after the many social func
tions we had attended, 1 had noticed a
disposition oa the part of my wife to
answer only vaguely to my inquiries as
to whether she had enjoyed herself at
Mrs. So-and-so's mnsicale, or Miss
Somebody's reception, bnt 1 never sup
posed for a moment there was anything:
ierious on. her mind, as the above some
what gloomy expression indicated. So I
turned all attention to aear what aught
be called a confession.
"Maybe yon would no be averse to
being given an opportunity to ase my
insuranoe money, or else a judge in the
divorce court might be prevailed npon
to render bis decision"
But here my remarks were cut short
by a demonstration that would hardly
look well in words in fact, I should be
it a loss bow to express such a mani
festation of feminine protestation.
W hen she had resumed a state that
made intelligibility possible, she broke
forth :
"Now, Geoffrey, that is too unkind
for anything. When I come to yon to
tell you all, yon stand there and make
(uu of me. Yon had better be careful,
f oung man. It may be worse than yon
inppose. Yon know what your favorite,
wongreve, says :
Beaven bath no rnge like lore to hatred toned,
Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.
"So keep real good till I have finished.
"Yon see, before I was married,
whenever I went to a dance, there was
always some one four or five in fact
whom I tboroiajhly liked, and on whom
could oouut to speak to me before the
evening was over aud with whom I
jonkl have a pleasant chat and danoe.
Bo, no matter how distasteful my pres
ent partner might be, my anticipations
were pleasaut enough to make up for
the preseut.
"There were certain men who per
hapi were not actually in love with me
(she said this witli a perfectly straight
(ace), but who invariably felt disposed
to drift in my direction, so that I was
kept perpetually buoyed up while talk
ing with the stupid ones aud absorbed
ifter they did speak to me by delightful
incertainty as to whut the future might
bring forth. That, of course, was before
t met you, dear.
"When I go to daucca now, I seem to
lose remembrance of the fact tliut I ntii
married, and with woman's vanity I
begin to be painfully aware tliut tbe
very men who would havo stood on
their beads had I asked it in tho pist 1
jould not count on now to take tliu least
interest in me or to talk other than the
dreariest platitudes. They were painful -ly
polite, would advance toward iue
with few commonplace re:u:irk. uud
wbeu they favored me at a geruiuu with
tome glittering trinket, for v.hi h 1
osed to be crazy, I felt as though :t rt
an expression of charity, portray:r5
that, having made my choice, I must
abide by it and not expect any very great
exertion on their park
"I drifted from bad to worse till 1
reached a state of desperation, and when
I saw Airs. Sweetly gazing fondly into
Dicky Robinson's eyes the other evening
I said to myself, 'There Is a woman who
really lives, and tho reason she does is
because she forgets she is married. ' -
"Then it was, Geoffrey, dear, that 1
tried to force mysolf to forget that yon
Jmd ever orossod my path that is, of
course, only when I went to some social
gutheriug. You know yon are so fond of
your cigars.
"Next to do was to find some suitable
one on whom I could bestow my ulTeo
tious. Finally I thought I would try
JUalcolm Wharton, whom I knew to be
of excollent family and who three years
ago would have given bis head to have
stood Not I in my eyes.
"It was at Mrs. Bcclcman's reception
that I determined to make- my flirting
debut. Ho, about 9 p. m., when I Itmiw
you wonld be smoking with, the gentle
men up stain, I purposely placed my
self in tbe path of my erstwhile- ac
quaintance, Malcolm, withj snob' a gra
cious manner that at first ho was puz
zled, and then, being of m gallant na
ture, be soon approached me with an
air of attention. I astonished myself by
the sprightly, not to say flippaut, style
of my conversation. My heart went pita
pat from excitement, and I was constant
ly rehearsing to myself, 'Now 1- must
forget Geoffrey,' and so I went on and
on, deceiving myself into tbe belief
that I was enjoying myself.
"Be beoame more and more confiden
tial aud fascinating, treating me in tbe
fashion that men who are devoted- to
other men's wives ordinarily assume. I
tried to be all animation and really
thought that the way he twinkled bis
nose in bunny fashion was quite inter
esting. He persuaded me to indulge in
champagne several times, and I even
took bis arm to tbe supper room. There
he was devotion itself and compliment
ed me in the most approved style. After
staying some time in the supper room
I proposed we should go and hear the
music, but he had evidently had too
much champange or something else to
be reasonable, aud so, to be consistent, I
could but follow him wheresoever he
led. We at lust found ourselves in the
conservatory and were seated behind a
clump of palms when his conversation,
which was commonplace enough, bad a
ring to it that sent the blood flying to
my face. His voice sank almost to a
whisper, giving me to understand how
miserable he had been in his later life
and how I could fill that gap of woe.
Now and then he would look np in my
face to see if there was any evidenoe of
sympathy that he thought should be
there.
"At last I had accomplished the very
thing I had longed for here he was at
my very feet and now that I possessed
it I shrank from it in disgust. Each
word of his felt like ice being forced
down my back, I could not find expres
sion to my thoughts, words froze on my
lips and 1 felt as though the eyes of the
entire room were on me. Tbe feeling of
disgust changed to one of mockery, and
be, seeing the change in my manner,
doubtless considered me serious and be
came more effusive in bis remarks and
manifestations of love.
"The words 'what a fool you are
seemed to haunt me, bnt still I had to
Bit there in cold blood and let him go
on making an utter fool of himself, for
there seemed to be no way to stop him.
"What I would have done I hardly
know, for he had seised my hand as
though he intended to crash' every bone
in it I really think he would have at
tempted to kiss me, when yon serenely
entered the room, appearing as an oasis
in a desert ol torment.
"I wrenched my hand loose and walk
ed over as calmly as I could to where
yon were standing and greeted you as
complacently as was possible. You re-.
. . . . : j 1
meniDer tne nignt yoa were uu wurrieu
about your stocks yoo did not notice my
agitation.
"There, now, don't yon trunk i ex
piated my crime?"
Of course there was out one way to
assure ber she had. University Courier.
lawn aad the Guide.
The poet Emerson was never credited
with being a handsome man, though
people who knew him saw in his fooa
his beautiful character and forgot to dis
criminate between bint and bis appear-
anoe. Years ago, when the "philoso
phers" were in camp at Follensbee pond,
in the Adirondacks, Emerson was one of
the party, and his devotion to his stud
ies and "worthless writin" seemed to
several of the guides a great waste of
time, which might better have been
spent in hnnting and fishing.
There was, however, a guide, Steven
Martin, who. became perhaps the most
noted that the Adirondacks ever pro
duced, and who recognized in Emerson
something of his real worth and upon,
whom the poet made a great impression.
"Steve," as he was familiarly called,
was an observing man, and the poet's
physical defeots, then undoubtedly more
prominent than in later years, did. nob
escape his eye, as may be seen from, the
answer be gave to the question, of the
writer of this paragraph, "What kind of
a fellow was Emerson?" "Waal, sir.."
said the old guide, "he was a gantlemaa
every inch, as nice a fellow aa yon ever
see; pleasant and kind, and a scholar, (
too, alius figgerin, studyin. and writin;
but, sir, be was, I believe,, the all fired-:
est homeliest critter for bis age that
ever came into these woods." Troy '
Times.
The Seed mt Beaaaw
Chief Justice Cattlin (1571). from
whom tbe Spencers, Rnssells and many
of the greatest English families are de
scended, when sentencing a prisoner
convicted as a go between in tbe corre
spondence between Mary of Scotland
and tbe bishop of Ross, thus addressed
him : "The good seedsman bath sowed
in yon good gifts, but as it is said in the
gospel, then came the enemy and he
sowed darnel, cockle and noisome
weeds. Such wicked seedsmen have
been in England. If they had sown the
right seed fur their own use, the seed of
hemp, and felt of it, then bad tbsy re
ceived according to their deserving,
hemp, meet seed for such seedsmen. "
Temple Bar.
BURN AND LIVED IN A HURRY.
file Satanic Majesty Called Down tne
Man Wbo 11 ad n't 'lime.
A certain man was bom In a hurry,
was rushed through childhood, was
crammed through school and college,
and was whirled madly Into a cyclone
of business, uud through the avenues
of this he sprinted dally at n speed not
altogether extraordinary In this oge
but, nevertheless, dizzying.
At his olllce a sign thrust Itself Into
one's countenance, rending; "Yester
day was my busy duy; but to-day Is
worse."
Once, to a woman, be shot out the
words:
"Marry m to-morrow?"
"But thl Is obt-why not wait
"Haven't time."
Later he blurted out to her:
"Marriage, falluref Divorce this
afternoon! All fixed!"
"Oh! oh!" said she; "can't yow le me
try again Just for a w
"Haven't time."
An agent got Into the office behind
the orders to the contrary.
A consulting physician suit! to him:
"You are all run down. The strain
for years has been too much' for you.
Rest of tbe faculties Is whut your con
stitution demands. Let me beg of you
to leave everything aud go' down' to
Beachslde for a "
"Haven't time, sir! . lluveii't time."
Eventually two forms stood1 beside
bis lonely bed. One, with liowed und
hoary head, watched the Inst grains
of sand gliding silently through an
hour-glass, and he made ready with a
keen and ready scythe. The other
merely leered aud grinned and rubbed
his claws, as .. washing at the grime
on them. And this lust was a bail fel
low, who meets many another hall fel
low, being II. L. Satan, himself. He
alone spoke. Touching the man who
was on the bed, he remarked:
"I say, old man, death Is about to
carry you off and I desire your Ines
timable company. Kindly take my
arm and "
Here the man Jerked himself up with
the lust electrical ampere- In him.
Scowling, he cut out two words:
Haven't time."
II. L. Satau wluked his mouth pro
digiously: "Oh, yes, you have," said
he, dryly; "you've time to burn!"
Truth.
MRS. ALBERT HERTER.
Beautlfnl American Lady Who la
Winning Kama In Paris
Mrs. Albert Herter, the beautiful
American artist and wife of tbe artist,
Albert Herter, was the recipient re
cently of very high encomiums at a
brilliant reception In Paris, which was
given In honor of the Spanish Infanta,
Eulalla. Among tbe many distinguish
ed people, Parisians aud other, who
paid their compliments to the hostess
and the guest were tbe artist and his
wife. The Herter carriage' was called
while the princess was watting for
hers. When Eulalla's eyes fell upon
Mrs. Herter the princess quickly asked:
"Who Is that beautiful woman? I
shall never forget her face." The In
fanta was told that her beautiful lady
was the wife of Albert Herter. "Oh,
how lovely she Is," cried Eulalla, with
spirit "Among all the people I ever
saw she Is the most charming the most
perfect." A recent number of Les
lie's Weekly published a portrait of
Mrs. Herter. Husband and wife are
sharing honors In their art as well as
In their social life In Paris. Their
home life Is as Ideal as their tastes,
popularity and' wealth can make. It
and their, work, with brush and crayon'
subtle) trained. Intelligent widely,
differing In kind; holds almost equal
rank, la salon, exhibitions. The; ar
pronounced everywhere the happiest,
most idyllic eoupie la Paris.
Not la His Lion.
The palmists tell ns about the- liae- of
life, the line of fate and all the other
tines," observed Mrs. Morconib, who
was interested In the science, "but the
palmist who wrote this book "
"Have you been buying: a book oa
palmistry?" observed Morcomb.
"Why. yes."
"Had your hand looked at, too, I
auppose?"
"I have."
"What did It costr
"Only S5."
"Only $5. H'mt What did the palm
ist say about your tine of economy?"
"He didn't say anything. There
any such line. Is there?"
"If there Is," snorted Morcomb, "the
palmist never sees it In the hand of
anybody who visits him!" Chicago
Tribune.
Before Meet mg Queen Victoria.
The names of ladies whj have never
been presented at tbe Queen's drawing-room
must be sent to the lord
chamberlain's office a certain number
of days previous to the ceremony, with
that of tbe person undertaking to la
troduce them to the royal presence.
MRS. A&BKB3) HERTER.
The soprano threw tbe Imsao
Id the choir a loving naaer;
Mie wiih Hiieb u pretty l-o.
And they only met f ehanta.
Brooklyn Kngle.
Florence "What h the first thing
you have to learm la gotf?" Marion
-What to wear." ruck.
She "Did you see the Ltl onarter
while In rorlsY" H-"No; but 1 got
several1 lead francs pitsswll et m."
Truth.
Ignorance, bliss; knowledge blister.
She "When you married me yoa
said, you were well off." He "1 was;
but 1 did not know It.V-Vanlry.
None Too Cordlal.r-The- Hostes-"I
suppose there Is no use of asking you
to'stay to dinner'" The Culler "Not
In that way.", Cleveland1 Plnlu Dealer.
Poetry Fed She (sentimentally)
"What poetry there Is In tire!" He (sad-lyj'-yes;
a great deal of my pretty
poetry has gouo there." Harper Ba
sso r.
Just the Same Thing. "Soy, loan me
$10 for about a week?" "Cim't", have
n't got but five.'. "That'll do led me
the five for two .weeks'" Chicago' Rec
ord. The difference between a' somnambU"
list and a messenger boy Is trifling:
One walks In his slepp, and the other
sleeps In his walk."-Phlladelphlai
Press.
As the lmrrlcaneswept the dertt andi
upset a few yachtsmen -It' breezily re
marked: "I eucss I can turn an oc
casional sumnier-'salt' myself." Rich
mond Gazette.
Whsway "What Is meant by a pass
ing regurd?" Juzby "The regard In
which you're held by people who bow
to you but dou't stop to speak." Rox
bury Gazette.
She "We've bceu married' four
mouths, dear, and I haven't glveniyon
a chance to try iny cooking yet." He
"Why, love, you're not getting tired of
mealready, are you?" Yonkers States
man. Really Unjust "I have done notb
Ing but blush nil day," complained1 the
rose, "and still that idiot of a poet goes
nn tnlklns of the modest violet as If
there were not others." Cincinnati En
quirer.
Mulman "I often hear people speak
about brain work being; so awfully
hard! It doesn't appear to me so.' UUt-ter-.0f
course not; to men. of your
caliber brayln' work Is easy." Boston.
Courier.
Mama "Russell, stop teasing, your
brother; I'm tired of hearing hlm.ory.,,
Russell "It won't make any difference
If: I do stop, 'cos if I don't tease him.
he'll tease me and make me cry." Har
per's Bazar.
"How large were the diamonds?"
asked tbe press agent, pausing la the
writing of the account; for publication..
"About as large aa. chestnuts," conv
fessed the actress, unwittingly. Minrj
neapolls Times.
Game- wardent-Loofc here. Don't;
you know that, youi oaa't shoot deer
Jpst now? Proudi amateur sportsman.
Can't. I: (pointing; to. fine dead buck)..
Look at that aud, see whether I can't.
Boston Courier;.
Wlnterbloomt-Doult you think, taB
Is rather high' for oi tailor-made gown?
Von. Blumer tells, mo his wire poia
onlv S15U Mis, Wlnteibloom True,
my dear; but she. got bers before 1
got mlnei Harlem. Life. .
ToaoheD Can, aay little boy tell me
whleh. la. tho- Longest (lav In the yearr
Billy Some fellows, say the day be
fore Che 1st mas ls and some say tn
day. before the Fourth of July. Har
per's. Round Toole.
"I doa't betteve you know, wbo I
am"" said Mrs. Gaylelgh to. Tommy.
"Sov ma'am,"' said Tommy. "I doa't
know who vou are. but 1 kaow who
you was. 1 beard mamma totting Aunt
Susoft."' Harper s Bazar.
"Oh. Edttb! there's tho.t lovely es
cort yoa had last summer, the Count-
de I.usk. selling ribbons at the further
counter!" "So It Is. Don't let us rec
ognise him, dear. He will prefer to re
main Incognito." Fort Jervls Gaaetta.
"Sing?" 8a id the specialty artist to
the manager, "I can sing to beat the
band." However, on hla appearance,
that afternoon it was noticeable that,
the orchestra, as usual, had the better
of the contest Indianapolis Journal.
Mrs. A. I am surprised that your
husband earns so little If be works as
bard as you say. What does be do?
Mrs. B. The last thing be did was
to calculate bow many times a clock
ticked In tbe course of 1.000 years.
Philadelphia Inquirer.
"What is all that row in the dining
room?" asked the dime museum man
ager with some Irritation. "It do be
the glass eater, sor, said the Zulu
chieftain. "He says th' cook give bint
a cracked toombJer, an' be cut his toons;
on It" New York Press.
"My dear," he said to his lady love,
"I've been busy all day not manual
labor, yon know, but brain work,
which Is tbe hardest kind." "Yea, In
deed; 1 know It must be for you," and
there was a tender look of sympathy
In ber eyes which aroused him. Phila
delphia American.