WIFE OF OHIO'S GOVERNOR.
y "t- ALP a dozen years before the
I j civil war broke out Dr. John
-- Ludlow kept the best known
flrmr store In Rnrlngfleld, Oblo. He
bad a daughter, Ellen, an exceptionally
pretty girl, who combined with her
l.pnutv a rhnrmliiz personality, much
Intelligence and that IrreslBtlblo fern
lulno trait, a ready wit. In short, she
bvas a Springfield belle, In every mean
Ing of the word. Dr. Ludlow at the
same time employed as a clerk Asa
Bushnell, then about 20 yonrs old. The
clerk was not ttlow to see and appre
ciate the beauty, wit and lovely char
acter of his emnlover's daughter. She
An turn liked the young umn who drew
eoda water and sold herbs and meat
clnes. Love's course did not run smooth
jfor them at first. Dr. Ludlow was an
V. V. O. and young Bushnell was a
stranger from York Stnte, about whom
little was known, and worse than that,
t chose prospects were not what Is call
d flattering. The apothecary didn't
Uhow much of an Inclination to In)'
i. , .
MItS. ASA nUSIINEIX.
rove what prospects his clerk bad
by becoming his son-lnlaw. But the
clerk and Miss Ellen Ludlow bad Cu
pid on their side, "and," as the novel
ist would say, "so they were married."
History Is reticent as to how much
wouug Mr. BuslineU's salary, wuicn
was ludicrously smnll, was raised after
the wedding, but it does tell bow he
grew to be a partner of his fnther-in-
law In the drug business, and thnt now
be Is a wealthy mun and honored by
his adopted State in being made the
gubernatorial successor of William Mc-
Klnley. The Bushnell residence, in
Main street, Springfield, Is a massive
btructure of bluo limestone, with a
beautiful lawn, and It Is furnished with
an artist's eye ns to beauty and com
fort In the evenings at nil times of
the year the house is socially animated,
for Mrs. Biislinull is a hostess by na
ture, who loves to gather round her
her friends that she may give them
an evening of pleasure. Her admini
cle domestic qualities and pleasing
manners have endeured her to a large
circle of acquaintances. Mrs. Hiisliuoll
takes great Interest lu Church work.
She also hns pronounced Ideas upon
woman's suffrage and thinks the right
should be extended to her own sex be
yond a voice In school elections. Her
jtwo daughters, Mrs. J. T. McGrcw and
Mrs. II. C. Dlmond, live In Springfield,
near her. Mrs. McGrew Is the wife of
an attorney, and Mrs. Dlmond's bus
band Is a physician. Mrs. Itushiiell's
only son, John Ludlow Bushnell, is now
23 years old, and a recent gradunto
tfrora rrincetou. Four children call
Mrs. Bushnell grandmamma. They
are Asa Bushnell and Douglas Mar
jquand Dlmond and Misses Ella Lud
low and Fanny McGrew.
The Penalty of Publicity.
1 The true woman, the true man, with
a soul sensitive to the delicate Influence
of that higher soul wlthlu the soul,
'shrinks from publicity. The personal
ity Is more Bucrcd than the person;
both would be shielded from the public
gaze. nen woman chooses a public
'career, in whatsoever capacity, she Is
jtoo often compelled to lay hiiro her very
coll to the Idle, curious eyes of a jeering
mob, to cast her finest sensibilities to
khe earth for the rabble to trample. It
may be her duty to make this sacrifice,
but it Is none the less a sacrifice; and
though there is a compensation In add
'ed strength there Is a loss (or which no'
amount of strength can make amends.
Woman must always pay a pennlty for
publicity. Man has paid the penalty so
'often and for so long a time that soci
ety has ceased to regard It a penalty,
and only when we find one of those
rare, sweet souls, born out of time, that
seems like a violet transplanted Into
now, do we realize what man haa lost
But we seldom fall to see the effects of
the penalty In the life of any public
woman. Womankind.
Oransee and Lemon,
i Lemons, with their powerful add,
are most helpful, frequently, in reliev
ing a bilious condition. A whole lem
on's Juice passed Into a glass of hot or
cold water, with or without sugar, and
taken before one or two meala or at
bedtime, will often work wonders for
a torpid liver. Such may be the treat
ment the first day or two In a marked
attack of this nature; then, for a few
daya, a half lemon in water will be
enough at one time.. .Thereafter oge
or two oranges each day will have the
milder effect desired. In midwinter,
nice little oranges may be had at from
fifteen to twenty cents a dozen, which
are especially adapted for such use, as
the Juice may be easily pressed from
these oranges luto the mouth, the use
less pulp remaining within the rind.
Grain of Ootd for the Housewife.
I'rlck a nutmeg with a pin, and If It
Is fresh and good oil will instantly
spread around the puncture.
A little Bultpcter added to the water
in which cut flowers are put will keep
the flowers fresh for a long time.
To ascertain If an egg Is fresh put
It in a pall of water. If good It will sink
Immediately; if it floats it is doubtful.
Sliver spoons that have become dis
colored by eggs may be cleaned readily
by rubbing with a soft cloth and a lit
tle dry salt.
To extract the Juice from an onion
cut the onion In half and press It
against and move It slowly over a
grater. The Juice will run off the point
of the grater.
Fresh meat should not be allowed to
remain rolled In paper, for the paper
will absorb the Juices. Remove the
paper and lay the meat on an earthen
plate.
To bronze a plaster of Paris figure
cover It with a thick courlng of shellac
varnish. When this is dry mix some
bronze powder with the varnish and
apply to the figure, theu cover with
another coat of clear varnish.
An excellent cure for hoarseness is to
roast a lemon until It Is soft all through;
do not allow It to burst. While still hot
cut a piece from the end and fill the
lemon with ns much granulated sugar
as It will hold. Then eat It while hot.
Crowd In i Out the Men
Bourbon and Waubansee Counties,
Kansas, chose female registrars of
deeds at the last election. Miss Stella
L. Strait and Miss
Emma Little being
the respective win
ners. The salaries
attached to these
positions are near
ly ns high ns 'hoso
JV-8 pn:a 10 any ouier
iW fykr ow.ra In the coun
1ii' tlos named, and the
miss strait. mvcedeiit estoblish-
ed In the Sunflower State may well en
courage women In the West to cherish
aspiration for office. Each of the wom
en named had served as deputy regis
trar. Both had shown unusual fltnota
for the work, so perhaps their success
Is not much to be wondered at. Ml
Stella L. Strait, who succeeded to the
olilce of registrar of deeds of Bourbon
County Is 2(J years old. She was born
at California, Mo., and Is a daughter
of the late Cnpt. O.-Stralt, who nerved
In the Forty-first Illinois Volunteer In
fantry from Decatur. Her office pays
?2,000 a year. She supports her moth
er and sister. Miss
Emma Little, w.io
wafl chosen regis
trar of Waubansee
County, la a typical
Kansas girl. She is
10 years old, hav
ing been born in the
county which she
s now serving. In
MISS LITTLE.
188S she finished school, and since 1889
hns been deputy In the office to which
She was elected. The question of her
qualification for the office was not
raised In the campaign, nor did her sex
militate ngnlntrt her election. Her sal
ary Is about $3,000 In fees.
Modish Tailor-Made Toilet.
Doctors Starving In France.
In the Itrltlttb Medical Journal a Par-
Is correspondent says at least 2,500
physicians lu France are battling with
starvation, and he adds that physicians
themselves are largely responsible for
this state of affairs. They "have taught
lady patronesses of different societies
to dinguose diseases, to dress and band
age wounds, to vaccinate their own
children and those of their neighbors.
Medical science is vulgarized in every
way. Doctors write In Important dally
papers explaining how bronchitis and
cramps of the stomach are to be cured,
and In fashion Journals they teach how
to cure pimples and avert headaches.
Five hundred thousand gratuitous con
sultations are given yearly in Paris dis
pensaries, and In this way a large
amount of fees is diverted from the
medical profession."
Tart of Ia homey Is to be colonized
with Alsatians and Lorrainers who
have served In the French army.
The shortest way to glory U to be
guided by conscience. Home.
M
THE DAUGHTER.
There's one I miss a llttlo questioning maid
Thut licld my finger, trotting by my sldo,
And smiled out of bor pleaded 6yopcn wide.
Wondering and wiser nt each word I Wild.
And I must help her frolic If alio played,
And I in un t foul her trouble if she cried;
My lap wnt he!K past rlfht to tie denied;
She did my bidding, but I more obeyed.
Dourer she Is today, dourer and more;
doner to me, since sinter womanhoods meet,
Tut, liko poor mot hern, some long wblln bereft,
I dwell on towurd wuys, quaint memories left,
I miss the approaching sound of pitput foet,
The eager baby Yule outsldo my door.
Augusta Webster.
NO ONE KNEW HIM.
"I ain very sorry, George, but this
was really what she said. "
These were the words of Florence
Lnrkin to her brother. George bad in
trusted her with that difficult commis
sion to find ont why Gertrude was off
and on with him why she was some
times so cordial and sweet and some
times so distant. And poor Florence had
to explain to George that Gertrnde bad
virtually said that he was too common
place. She conld not marry a man that
nobody knew and nobody talked about.
He was good, he was successful, he was
kind, he was everything that Miss Edge
worth would require in one of her
novels, bnt he did not attract people
attention. Nobody ever heurd of George
Larkiu.
After Florence had explained this in
the minutest way possible twice, George
seemed to understand what she was talk
ing abont.
Does she want to see my name in
the newspapers?"
"I shonld not say that, " said Flor
ence.
Does she want me to ride down
Broadway in plate armor and nail on
the doors of Trinity a notice that she is
the prettiest girl in the world?"
"She did not say so," said Florence.
"Does she want to see me more?"
"I should think yon would do better
if yon went there less," said Florence.
"If all she wants is to have me talked
about, she shall have her way I" And
George Larkin flounced ont of the room.
Ten days after, as Gertrnde Clark
came down, rather late, to her breakfast,
the servant brought in a pile of letters
on the salver. Gertrude's little sister
counted tbein ; there were 23. "What in
the world has happened?" said she.
The little sister cnt them open, and
Gertrnde read :
Dear Miss Clark I think yon know Mr,
George Larkin. Will you have the kindness to
put his address on the note Inclosed?
Dkar Miss Cubk-Do you know your friends
11 r. Larkin well enough to ask him to come
round to our reception? It is very informal,
but we shall be so pleased to see him.
Dear Miss Clark I am so annoyed that I
forget Mr. Larkin 's first name. I want to send
him a card for our party. May I trouble you
for bis address?
Twenty-three notes that contained
such references to George I
Yet for these ten days past George
had not sent her no, not a carnation.
He did send her a note to excuse him
self from driving with ber in the park.
He was not even at her aunt's regular
family party, where he had begged ber
to have him invited. George had whol
ly dropped out of her life, and Gertrnde
had begun to wish that he had not drop
ped ont.
The reader shall know what had hap
pened. The reader shall know how a
nice girl may be suddenly waked np to
find that her lover is not the unimpor
tant person which in his humility he
had made her believe. The reader shall
know how one young man got himself
named from one end of a continent to
the other.
All this happened in a very large city
of 8,000,000 people, which is the capi
tal of a very large oountry, which conn
try is next to the repnblio of Altrnria.
This country was governed partly by
the principles of the nation of Altrnria,'
partly by the principles of the devil
and partly by a sort of happy go lncky
system which had worked very well for
100 years. In the course of the happy
go luoky arrangements it fonnd itself
in a sorape for the sort of ready money
that it wanted. It had some ready
money, which the people did not much
like, and it wanted some ready money
made of beaten gold. And so the chief
magistrate of this happy go lucky
oountry bad issued his proposals for
what was called a "popular loan."
Nobody knew very well how the pop
ular loan was to be taken np, bnt every
body was qnite sure that his next door
neighbor bad better subscribe to it Peo
ple went so far as to say how muoh Mr.
Jones ongbt to subscribe and bow much
the Widow Smith onght to subscribe.
Bnt, np till the moment when Gertrude
sent that unkind message to George by
Florence.nobody knew very well how the
thing was going to turn ont. It might
be that the popular loan would all be
taken np by a set of sharpers, or it might
be that it would not be taken at all. It
might be that it wonld be a very unpopu
lar loan. And everybody was very curi
on" to see.
There was once an occasion when all
the nations of the world agreed that ev
ery person in the world shonld scream
as lond as he conld at a particular in
stant of time. When the instant came,
there was a horrible stillness over the
mundane creation. For everybody, in
stead of screaming himself, had listened
to hear somebody else scream, and no
one screamed but a dumb man in China
and a deaf woman in the Sandwich Is
lands. It was something like this abont the
popular loan.' But at last the great day
came when, at Washington, they opened
the bids.
Now, the credit of this nation was
pretty good and pretty bad. In very
bright, gilt edged times it conld borrow
money 'at less than 3 per cent. In those
times when there was trouble abont the
sort of money that it wonld give and
take, it generally bad to pay ft on $104
that is to say, its 4 per cents were
placed at 104. The different sharpers
and the different old ladies, the men and
women who had been coaxed tip to sub
scribing in different wsya, were In gen
eral sending in their bids at 10S and 108
nd 107. .
But when at Washington the bids
were opened, the weary clerks hearing
i07 7-u.""104 11-12." till thoy went
almont to sloop as thoy wrote down the
scarcely vuryiug numbers, all or a sun
dun a holt fell like lightning from Ju
niter. Tlia reudiun clerk, almost as
sleopy as the rest, cried ont: "One nun
dred and twenty-five I Mr. George Lur
kin of New Bedlam offers 125 for 10
bonds of the new issue I"
Evcrv sleepy clerk in the room start
ed np in amuzemout. "Who is Mr,
enrie Larkin?" And his bid was en
Lured as by far the highest bid in the
calendar.
The next evening every journal in
that great empire, which extended from
ocean to ocean, hud a mogrupny oi jar.
George Lnrkin. These biographies were
made nn iteuerally from tne inrorma
tion given in the directory of New Bed-
lam. One of them tneroiore uesoriDeu
Mr. George Larkin as the loading man
at the Varioties. Another said mat air,
Geome Larkin was engaged in a profit
able thread and needle business in the
lnwnr wards of New Bedlam. Another
said that Mr. George Larkin bad won
his distinction as a reporter for the
uress. But all persons agreed that Mr.
George Larkiu was a person of great
irnuortance in the finauciul community,
and that he was a patriot of the first
water. It was generally agreed also
that his foresight with regard to na
tional affairs was well nigh perfect, and
that no person knew so well as be did
when stocks would rise and when they
would fall. "Our readers will remem
ber how on a previous occasion the
whole turn of the stock market was
chauged by the sndden pnrchase of P.
F. and L. This pnrchase is now attrib
uted to the foresight of Mr. Larkin."
Gertrude, on that particular evening,
did not happen to open her newspaper.
If she had, she would have known that
her lover was that day the man most
talked abont in the whole world. After
this, she was so overwhelmed by ber
correspondence from different people
who wanted her to introduce them to
Mr. George Larkin that she had no
time to open the newspapers for six
months. She never knew, therefore, why
Mr. George Larkin suddenly attained
the prominence in all social walks, in
walks of finance and indeed in the es
teem of his fellow countrymen, which
she had guined. She did know that, two
or three days afterward, bo came in to
see her looking like a new man. He
stood erect where his bead had hung
low, he had a cheerful smile on his face
where be bad looked dejected when she
snubbed him. In fact, she did not dure
to snnb him. She knew that he was a
person of much more importance in the
estimate of the world than she was. And
when George Larkin, for the first time
in his life, gained the courage to ask
Gertrnde if she wonld marry him and
make bimhappy for the rest of his life,
Gertrnde bad no thought of saying any
thing but yes. So mncb is even a good
girl governed nnconsoionsly by the tone
of the people who are around ber.
It is an unimportant thing to add, bnt
this great empire rose from its depres
sion on the strength of Mr. George Lar
kin 's offers to the treasury. Everybody
saw that he was right, and nobody else
was right. Fonr per cents rose to a high
er line than had ever been known in his
tory. The repntation of Mr. Larkin as a
financier was established. Rothschilds
and Belmonts and other bankers of the
world begged for bis advice, and offered
him places in their firms. These be was
not so foolish as to accept. But he lived
a happy lire with tne woman ne naa
loved, and be had the glad consciousness
that, by the way, he had saved bis coun
try. Edward Everett . Hale in Chicago
Inter Ocean.
Tale Fires.
Do not the "kitchen middens" of
which geologists tell ns those singular
remains of gigantio fires and roasted
bones which science has disoovered on
many a northern shore mark the site
where the Yule logs of the king's fires i
.. . - - .... - - .. I
were first kindled? Quantities of fossil-1
. . l j j j i i i .1 l j
lzea nones are emueuueu in me uiu wui ju
ash heaps bones wbioh careful investi
gation as8nres ns have been roasted.
Hnge cooking places they mnst once have
been. The bones strewing the ground
after a carouse seem to have been a spe
cial feature of a Danish feast. We have
only to recall tbe death of Elphage, the
patriot archbishop of Canterbury, in the
days of Ethelred, who, although a pria
oner in the Danish camp, steadily re- j
fused to deliver himself by ransom, say
ing it would be treason in him to pay
tbe enemies of England. "Gold, bishop,
gold I" shonted the Danish troops, thirst
ing more for gain than blood, until, ir
ritated by his constancy, tbey ran to a
heap of bones and boms of oxen the
relics of their repasts and showered
them from all sides upon tbe aged
Saxon. Elphage soon fell half dead, and
was dispatched with an ax by one of the
pirates.
We may gather some idea of these gi
gantio Yule fires from the ancient edicts
and the allusions in the sagas to the all
important doty of kindling the beacon
fires at the approach of an enemy. Wher
ever the Norsemen settled these beacon
fires were established and their wardens
appointed. Olaus Magnus and Snorro
both prove that large trees were cut
down in the nearest forest and piled
upon tbe beacon hill until the blazing
pine wood must bave resembled a burn
ing mountain. Yet the king's fire at the
feast of Tbor exceeded the beacons on
the Norway headlands, as it burned for
weeks, for tbe feast of Tbor was also
tbe appointed time for regnlating all
borne affairs. Notes and Queries.
Ome or the Other.
"It's hard to give satisfaction," said
the new congressman wearily.
"It's very difficult to tell what people
are going to say abont you," assented
bis wife.
"Yes. But it's pretty sure to be one
cf two things they'll either say you're
extremely ordinary or else that you're a
freak." Washington Star.
INDIAN GIRLS A3 TEACHERS.
Graduates of Philadelphia Normal School,
They Take I'mltlons In the West.
Lnnv Gordon and June Eyre, tho
young Indian girls who received diplo
mus lust June with the companions with
whom they hud marched shoulder to
shnnlder thronub throo years at the
Girls' High school, und whose names
wore entered with tholr classmates ut
the Normal school lust September, bade
goodhy to the bouutiful school ut Thir
teenth and Spring Gurden streets yester
duy to tuke appointments as teachers
in Indiun government schools of the fur
west.
The two girls have very pretty Indian
names and interesting histories. Win-
cincnla (Miss Gordon) is tall and lithe,
with refined, interesting fenturos and a
retiriug manner. She is of the Sioux
nation and came from South Dakota
when abont 10 years old and has been
living at the Lincoln institntiou. She
received a thorough preparatory course
JANE ETRB.
at the U. S. Grant school, which waa
also attended by Miss Eyre. The latter's
name in the Indian language is Chitah
kah. Miss Eyre is from the Pawnee
tribe, in Indian Territory, where she at
tended a reservation school prior to go
ing to Carlisle in 1883. Sjie was a stu
dent of the U. S. Grant school with
Miss Gordon, and both entered the High
school and completed the course to
gether. Miss Eyro goes to Kansas to become
an assistant teacher at the Pottawato
mie Agency boarding school. Miss Gor
don has been appointed a teacher in tho
Fort Peck Agency boarding school,
Montana. They are t lie first of their race
whom the Normal school sends buck to
become teachers of their own people.
The two girls were very much affected
at parting with the teachers, and when
tbey left the school carried with them
very sad young laoes. fhnadoiphia
Times.
Definition of a Good Wife.
Following is the letter that won the
New York World prize for the best an
swer to "What constitntes the best and
most contented wife?"
The best and most contented wife is
one who has marched in line with wago
ear jers through every stage of mental
and physical tiredness ; who from the
severely practical standpoint of experi
ence in earning a dollar has learned the
valne of it ; whose contact with the out
side world has broadened her sympathy
and general knowledge ; who has been
denied core and consideration, and who,
though earning enough of a salary, per
haps, to partially satisfy her taste for
the beautiful in life, in art or study, i.i
allowed no time for anything bnt an in
satiable longing for the same. To snob.
i a woman the care and protection of a
husband and tbe shelter of a home are a
heaven. Any womanly woman from out
the ranks of the business world will
prove by a lifetime of devotion and
helpfulness her appreciation of and her
fitness for domestio life if her hnsband
be half worthy. Mrs. E. Van P. Cum
mings. Miss Mary Lord Drake.
Iowa's "first lady of the land," Miss
Mary Lord Drake, bids fair to be a sno-
A ; . I ,L. 1 . ;1
cess as the mistress of the gubernatorial
Mnnatnft Tlai. fafhai Dnirornnr 17vnnr.t(l
,uu,"i
Marion Drake, is a widower, and this
daughter is his only unmarried child.
She is cultivated and dignified. More
over, she has no whims.
"No, I haven't any particular fad. I
am not a girl of fads. I like all good
things," she said to some one who ask
ed her if she was making a collection of
anything, or bad any hobby that she
would undertake to popularize. She is
an extensive reader in nearly ail liter
ary lines, especially with current maga
zines, and she keeps np to the times in
the newspapers. Her devotion to her fa
ther is so deep that she strives to keep
pace with him in everything that he
does, and she thorongbly understands
and sympathizes with him, taking tbe
place, to a very large extent, of her
mother.
She Gave Him Ber Note.
A yonth who has worked in an Au
gusta store long enough to absorb tbe
idea that he is a business man was asked
by bis sister for a loan of 50 cents a few
days ago. He insisted that she should
give him a note for it. This she did,
and he, in his hurry, pocketed it with
out reading. When be thought it time
for her to pay tbe debt, he spoke of it.
She replied that it wasn't convenient
for her to do so. "But I have yonr
note," he said. -. He polled it from his
pocket, and on reading fonnd out that,
for value received, she promised to pay
60 cents "when convenient." Chicago
Inter Ocean.
Winnie Davis.
Miss Varina Annie Jefferson Davis,
better known as Winnie Davis, will, it
is reported, make New York ber perma
nent residence and literature her profes
sion. She has displayed considerable
ability in essays and fiction and has a
very well written story in a current
magazine. The ability to write short
stories in first class style is exceedingly
rare, and if Miss Davis can keep sp the
successes she haa already made she has
a bright future for her literary career.
Now the timid, doubting suitor,
By Professor Itocntgeu's art,
May, before he speuks, discover
If she has a marble heart
k-Indiauapolis Journal.
"Am so glad you had tbe doctor; did
be rellove you?" "Yes; of $20." Bos
ton Courier.
Teacher What was Joan of Are
maid of? Bright Pupil Made of dust.
Boston Transcript.
Elsie My huBlmud Is very bard to
please. Louise He must have chang
ed considerably since be married you.
New York Herald.
"How many people will this car
eat?" Inquired the loquacious passen
ger. "Women or men?' asked the con
ductor. Chicago Evening Post
There was once a professor who, be
ing asked what be knew upon a certain
subject, replied, "Nothing; I have not
even lectured on it." Argonaut.
"Do you bcllove In luck?" "I should
say so; snow last night blew off my
neighbor's walk and drifted to tbe full
length of mine!" Chicago Record.
"Will you be my wife, Frauleln
Paula, and make me happy?" "I am
sorry, Doctor, but I should like to be
happy myself." Ilumorlstlsche Blaet
ter. Willie I know Bister would be glad
to go skating with you. IMugway
What makes you think so? "She says
she haa been dying all winter to have
you break the ice." Life.
"You're the only doctor who advises
me to stay at home. All the others
say I ought to go to a winter reRort."
"I suppose they have all the patients
they want." Fllegende Blaetter. .
Willie What's the matter with your
nose, Bobby? Bobby Tommy Hlggln
hot ham an' me hnd a fight in school
about some marbles. Willie Who got
'em? Bobby Teacher. Judge.
Lawyer (a few years hence) Make
your mind easy. The jury will disa
gree. Prisoner Sure? Lawyer I
know It Two of the members are man
and wife. New York Dispatch.
"Dad, what's a running account?"
"It's an open account with a dry goods
store, my son, which keeps your moth
er running down-town all tbe time to
buy something." Louisville Courier
Journal.
She He whistled as he went for
want of thought. Of course it was a
boy. You wouldn't find a girl whistling
for want of thought He No; she
wouldn't whistle; she'd talk. Indian
apolis Journal.
"Man wants but little here below"
So runs the good old song;
If he but advertises, though,
He doeon't want that long.
Printers' Ink.
He Oh, dear! t wish I could get
hold of some biscuits like mother used
to make for me! She And I wish I
could get some gpod clothes like father
used to buy for me. Indianapolis Jour
Sal. ,
"I wish those electric sleighs were in
use in Pittsburg," remarked Miss Point
Breeze to Mlsg Schenley Park. "Why?"
"I understand they can be guided by
the feet alone." Pittsburg Chronicle
Telegraph. Charles Really, I think that Miss
Gray takes a good deal of Interest in
me. Henry But you should remem
ber that where tbe interest Is large the
security Is apt to be pretty poor. Bos
ton Transcript.
"Ah! that's a great strain!" exclaimed
tbe tenor, who was exercising his voice
In his bedroom. "A great strain it Is,"
replied his room-mate, "on those who
have to listen to it" Pittsburg Chron-lcle-Telegraph.
WVll let these "barons" do their will,
Nor try to thwart their little game,
If, when the price of coal goes up,
The mercury will do the same.
Washington Star.
Susy Say, auntie, dear, you're an old
maid, aren't you? Aunt Emma (hesi
tatingly) Certainly, Susy; but It is not
nice of you to ask such a question.
Susy Now, don't be vexed, auntie; I
know It isn't your fault Herrledener
Laubfrosch.
"What is the trouble between Ax
lelgh and his wife?" "Only a little
family jar. He was saying that he
would give anything If he conld have a
wheel, and she suggested that he might
take one of those be had In his head."
"I am going to propose to Miss Jln
kles," said Whyklns, thoughtfully.
"Has she given you any encourage-1
mem?" "fshould say so. Why, she
is afraid I am pending too much mon
ey for bouquets and matinee tickets."
Washington Star.
Mother Now, Willie, you've been
eating mince pies till you've made
yourself lit I shall have to send for
the .doctor. Willie I say, If you are
sending for tbe doctor may I have an
other mince pie? It won't make any
difference, yon know. Moonshine.
"Excuse me, Mr. Barnothlng," said
the London lady to ber very wealthy
acquaintance, "but Isn't mining very
Interesting?" "Very, ma'am." "I am
very Ignorant on that score. Tell me,
do diamonds come in quartz?" "Oh, I
suppose some people that work on a
small scale get 'em that way; but I ba-1
'em comln' In gallons, ma'am." Wash
ington Star.