Oregon courier. (Oregon City, Clackamas County, Or.) 188?-1896, April 24, 1896, Image 6

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    ("T RETTY Princess Mario, of flnxe
I f'OirtHirg-Uothn, wnH taken to Ber
IJL lln In ltt)2, WllOD Hlio wns JUHt
17, nrnl thero met the handsome crown
prluco of Kouiiinnln, who very quickly
rcognliKl her charms. Princess Mnrle
was equally attracted to him, for lie,
08 well as being handsome, Is possessed
of grout cliiirm of manner ami upright
ness of elm ruder, a prince fitted In ev
ry way to lie a hero of romance. The
betrothal took place not long after
their meeting with the conllul assent of
nil the relatives of both prince and
prlncetw; and on Jan. 11, 1803, their
oiarrluRo was celebrated at Blgmurln
gen. The lH'Hiity and youth of Princess
Marie touched all hearts, and her win
ning manner soon iimile her as beloved
by King Charles os If she was actually
Ills own daughter. The Queen of Rou
Dianla is as charmed with her new nleoe
as the king Is. and looks on her and
treats Iter ns a daughter, finding In her
companionship a relief from her sad
memories and fits of melancholy.
The costume worn by the Crown
Princess Marie of Itoumanla, In the por
trait which accoiniMinles this article,
was worn by her at a recent festivity
In Bucluirost The petticoat was of
plain silk, the overdress lielng of rich
est bocade, the design of bunches of
feathers tied together with true lovers
knots being very dainty and effective.
The flchu of Brussels lace was draped
In exact Imitation of that worn by a
dead and gone beauty In a portrait
from which the costume was copied.
Since rrincess Marie's advent In
BucliareHt tho leaders of society there
have done their lest to devise novel
and brilliant entertainments to amuse
her royal highness, and she and her
handsome young huslxind are untiring
In attending festivities and other func
tions in aid of charities when the pres
ence of the royalty Is desired In order
to secure the success of the undertak
ing. Now that Queen Curmen-Sylva's
health does not permit her to exert her-
self, tlw burden of acting as her ma
jesty's representative generally falls
on Prim-ess Marie's shoulders.
i Nourishment for the Fkln.
' A dry, scaly sklu Is a sure Indication
of a blood disturbance, and frequently
accompanies dyspepsia. The best treat
ment for It Is a careful diet, an avoid
ance of nil highly seasoned food, coffee,
tea and alcoholic stimulants. Some
times a dry skin is the result of a long
Illness where fever has literally burned
the cuticle so that It Is parchment. Tho
skin food which nourishes and builds
up the skin tissues and supplies the oils
that have been exhausted by heat Is
nxtst elllcaclous If applied at night, af
ter a warm bath. It is well to rub It
thoroughly Into the skin. Massage Is
excellent In connection with this treut
DK'iit. Melt In a wuter bath three
ounces of spermaceti, eight minces of
oil of almonds, four of landollne, and
two ounces of cocoanut oil. Stir briskly
until cold; then add, drop by drop, one
ounce of ornnge-flower water and ten
droi8 of oil of Jasmin. Keep sealed,
except when using.
Timely and Untimely Culls.
Tlie only objection to having a recep
tion day engraved on your cards Is that
sometimes, ns the Irishman said, it was
"nvotghty oneonveiilent." "It Is the un
expected that always hnppeus." For
tunate the lady who has grown-up
daughters or an unmarried sister who
can fill her place temporarily. It re
quires more unselfishness than most of
us possess to give up one day every
week to the claims of society; so we
only have the name on our cards and
go on year after year missing friends
we long to see. and being "at home" to
numerous acquaintances whom we
wish had not been quite so fortunate
In timing their calls.
Novel Matrimonial Bureau.
It Is reported that the ladies of the
W. C. T. U. of Portsmouth, Va., are
about to organize a unique movement
under the name of the Naples Matri
monlal Society. In Naples girls 14 and
over assemble once every year In one
of the churches of that city, and the
unmarried men who so desire go there
nnd choose wives. The Portsmoutn la
dies propose to work on the same prin-.
olnle. but both the gins snu me men
must register three months before
making choice. In order that Investiga
tion of character may te mane.
Monogram Fan for Young Women.
Seal and monogram fans are a notion
of tho moment among young women
still In their teens. A plain white or
delicately tinted fan Is selected, and
the gay seals are arranged upon It with
what taste may be. If monograms
hoarded, It Is thivo that decorate In
stead of the wax Impressions. A "trip"
fan means the record of a winter Jour
ney, and It holds on Its sticks the pretty
Imprints with which nil first-class ho
tels now stamp their stationery. If a
European trip 1ms been undertaken,
so much the tietter, as that Insures
steamship and other effective Inslgula.
Sweater for Women.
For a long tlmo girls, nud even wo
men, have felt that they would be hap
pier If they could wear sweaters. It
was tried by some adventurous spirits,
and while found perfectly satisfactory
about tho throat lacked tho symmetry
women have learned to prize nlout tho
waist This had led to the manufacture
cf women's sweaters. These lack that
style which made the manly sweater
so desirable In women's eyes. But, on
the other hnud, they gather In at the
waist and are entered after a manner
more familiar to women than Is the
male sweater. At first they were only
used In gymnasiums, but now they are
considered a necessary part of almost
every woman's wardrobe. The up-to-date
sweater Is not only n sensible gar
ment, but nn exceedingly stylish one
as well. The coming summer girl will
be devoted to the sweater. She can
wear It when wheeling, riding, or sail
ing, and In fact, they are sure to be the
fastest friends, for there will be dozens
of times when the little knit arrange
ments will Just fit tho ocension.
The modernized sweater Is far re
moved from awkwardness. It fits like
a glove and the Bleeves are geuernlly
the long, full blshopy sort, with a tight
weblM'd cuff, which clings to the arm
snugly from elbow to wrist, and over
which the full upper part falls with
all gracefulness that fashion demands.
One can find all colors nud styles In
sweaters. Sailor collars ami neatly
rolled-over small ones nre the kinds
most geuernlly seen and they give a
very Jaunty effect. The net of gettlug
Into one of these garments looks to be
n heart-breaking operation, but In real
ity It Is simplicity Itself. They cither
button on the shoulder or lace In front,
and It Is no more trouble to get Into
one of them than nn ordinary waist.
Venutlca of Olden Pays.
Sappho Is said by the Greek writers
to have been a blonde.
Jezebel, tho Queen of Ahnb, according
to one of the rabbis, had "black eyes
that were set on fire by hell."
Margaret of Anjou bad the typical
face of a French beauty. She was
black-haired, binck-eyed and vivacious.
Her features were Indicative of her
strength of character.
Pocahontas is described as having
features as regular ns those of a Euro
pean woman. She Is also said to have
had a lighter complexion than usual
among Indian women.
Theodora, the wife of the famous Jus
tinian, was beautiful, crafty and un
scrupulous. She Is said to have been
tall, dark and with "powers of conver
sation superior to any woman In the
Catherine of Braganzn, queen of
Charles II., was singularly gifted both
lu person nnd In Intellect, but In spite
of her beauty nud her good sense she
wns never able to win the love of her
dissolute husband.
Cleopatra was not an Egyptian, but a
Greek beauty, with perfectly white
skin, tawny hair and blue eyes. Her
chief fascination wns her voice, which
Is described as low, well modulated and
singularly sweet In tone.
The Empress Catharine I. bad a
coarse, red face, generally broken out
with pimples from the constant use of
strong drink. She was a slave to brandy
nnd died of a disease brought on by In
temperance. In youth she had been
famous for her beauty.
Tame Finn in Irrigating llcacrvoirs.
The uses of the artificial reservoirs
are not limited to Irrigation; they are
usually stocked with fish, which mul
tiply with surprising rapidity and en
able the farmer to include this Item
of home produce In his bill of fare
every day In the year. These fish are
very tame, and In some cases are actu
ally trained to respond to the ringing of
the dinner-lx'll. coming In scurrying
shoals to fight for crumbs of bread
thrown upon the water. The reser
voirs also yield a profitable crop of Ice
In winter. Century.
Keeping Bean Oat of Cornfield.
In tho district of Ruchiusk, iu the
Transcaueasus, bears are regarded as
the worst enemies of the muizofields,
and when the season for tho maize cobs
to ripen comes ronnd the population
take all possiblo steps to protect tlie
fruits of their toil Iu the evening tlie
peasant, urnied with a gun, a kiiijal, a
stunt onkeu cudgel or whatevor other
weapon ho can secure, takes all the dogs
ho possesses with him and goes off to
tho field, whore be slooplcssly guards
lilt rouize during the whole night, some
times at the risk of his life. He passes
tho night in firing off his gnn and con
tinual shouting, while during the duy
ho is forced to work to the utmost of
his powers, seeing that it is jnst at this
period i. e., when the maize Is ripen
ing thnt be hus to thrash his wheat,
gather in bis crop of beans, repair his
winnower and make ready the places
for storing his maize. If a bear gets in
to a niuizefiold iu which be does not ex
pect to bo disturbed during the whole
night, he first sots to work and gorges
himsolf ; then, fooling heavy, be begins
to roll and sprawl on his back. Having
sprawled about a bit, the boor begins to
fool playful, and it is then that the
maizo stalks suffer most severely. Tuck
ing his legs under him, be rolls bead
ovor bcels from one end of the field to
tho other, and in his course lie mitural
ly breaks and rolls down everything in
bis way, rendering the whole crop use
less. London Times.
Man Voder Thirty-Ore,
Lira. Lillian Boll, the authoress, as
serts that conversation with a muu un
der 85 is impossible, because the man
under 85 never converses ; he only talks.
And yonr chiof accomplishment of be
ing a good listener is entirely thrown
away on him, because ho does not in
tho least enre whether yon listen or not
Neither is it of any use for you to show
that he has surprised or shocked yon.
Ho cares not for yonr approval or dis
approval. He is utterly iudifferont to
you, not because you do not please him,
but because ho has not seen you at all.
Ho knows you are there in that chair.
Ho bows to yon in the street oh, yes I
Ho knows yonr name and where you
live. But you are only an entity to bim,
not on individual. He cares not for
your likes nnd dislikes, your cares or
hopes or fears. Ho only wants yon to
bo crottv nnd well dressed. .Have a
mind if you will Ho will not know it
Have a heart and a soul. They do not
concern him. He wants yon to be tailor
made. You are a girl to him. That's
To Make a Good Cap of Tea.
A young man who was being Joked
about the appearance of the young lady
bo was going to marry said in an apolo
getic way, "Well, she can make a good
enp of tea anyhow." This is a qualifica
tion that not many girls possess. Very
few know how to make a good enp of
tea. Here nre some pointers: Tea should
never touch motuL It should be kept in
paper, wood, glass or porcelain. To
make it, put a small quantity in a
porcelain enp, fill ths latter with boil
ing water, cover it with a porcelain
saucor and let it stand three minutes.
Then, if yon desire to be an epicure,
drink only tho upper layer of the gold
en liquid, throw the rest away, rinse
the cup and begin ngain. Never use sug
ar. Do not use milk. It ruins the flavor
of the tea, and the combination injures
the Btomach, so the Chinese say, and
they ought to know their own beverage.
Above all things, do not boil the tea.
Pope Leo'n Iloyhood.
He spent his childhood in the simple
surroundings of Carpineto, than which
none could be simpler, as every one
knows who has ever visited an Italian
country gentleman in his borne. Early
hours, constant exercise, plain food and
farm interests made a strong man of
him, with plenty of simple common
sense. As a boy ho was a great walker
and climber, nnd it is said that he was
excessively fond of birding, the only
form of sport afforded by that part of
Italy, and practiced there in those
times, as it is now, not only with guns,
but by means of nets. It has often been
said that poots nud lovers of freedom
come more frequently from the moun
tains and the seashore than from a flat
inland region. Marion Crawford in
Mot Learned In Chinook.
One of Calgary's recent contingent to
the coast evidently knew but little
about the Chinook, judging by the story
that is being told on bim. Wishing to
got some clams to take back with him,
be asked an old squaw, who had cob
webs in ber eyes and a bosket on her
head, what she wanted for a basketful,
and the blushing brunetto replied, "Sit
com dollar, hyas klosh. " To this the gay
Caloarvite said: "Ynmniun yimmiuy!
Six dollars and all my clothes? No, by
ginger snap I 1 11 give you $a.ou, my
watch and overcoat. " It is unnecessary
to state that the offer was accepted, as
all the dusky maiden asked lor the
clams was four bits. Vancouver World.
A Remarkable Wound.
An extraordiary tale is told by Major
Prvsn Gordon of a wound received in
the Waterloo campaign by one Donald
of the Ninety-second regimeut. Ue had
been shot in the thigh by a musket bull.
The ball was extracted, but still the
wound did not heal. A large abscess
formed. Ponltioes were applied, and on
an incision being made, lo and behold !
a 6 frano piece and a 1 franc piece were
extracted, together with a bit of cloth,
the larger coin having been hit nearly
in the center and forced into the shape
of a cap. Notes and Queries.
It is almost impossible for any one
who reads much and reflects a good deal
to be able on every occasion to deter
mine whether a thought is another's
or bis own. I have several times quoted
sentences out of my own writiugs in
aid of my own arguments, in conversa
tion, thinking that I was supporting
them by some better authority. Sterne.
King of Tigro, oomrado true,
Wlwre In oil tlilnu Mi art thoaf
Bulling on Fonaucn bluuj
Wuarliitf Arniulit nowt
KhiK of Tigre, wlioro urt tliout
Datt Ins for AntitW quiwnf
BuIht lillt or ollvo Wight
Crown ot dust or laurel Kroont
Itnvliuc lovo or marriage vowt
King ui.d comrade, where art thouf
Balling on Twlflo mumt
Pitching teuM In Pima nowf
t'li'l-rnoulh magnolia trotwf
Thatch 'of puim or cedar bough?
Boldicr slnyor, whore art thou
Cawtlng on tho Oregon t
Hwlillo bow or Mrnhen prowt
Bonnd tho Idles of Amazon?
rumpus, pUiln o' mountuln brow?
prlnoo of rover, whore art thou?
Annwor mo from nnt tho wontl
I um wwiry, stricken now;
Thou art Mtrong, and I would reft;
Koiidi n hand with lifted browl
King of Tigro, wlioro art thou?"
Charles Wurrun Stoddard.
Miss Irwin was vory busy. Sho wns
handling a difficult assignment which
Ktf rwrhra tthnn Id have been iziven to one
of the men reporters, uud so it happened
thnt she rcmuined after every one eiso
hu.i rmiio tn dinner, uud for some time
the walls of the city editor's room hud
listened to the' nnsusual sound at sncn
an hour of a bad stub pen scratching
over thin brown paper.
Finally the monotonous scrarcning
was interrupted by tho opening of a
door, and Fanning, the polioo roporter,
hastily eutored. Miss Irwin paused in
bor Btory long enough to iook up.
"Oh," she said, "it's you, Funning.
Boeu to dinner already?"
"No, ma'am, not yot I'm looking
for Scrautou. Hasn't come back yet, has
"Not yet. Anything I can do for you?"
"No, thanks. I just wanted to see
bim about a story that littlo chap that
wns hurt Read about it, didn't yon?
Scrauton's iutorosted. The little chap's
AvUia. I've lust come from tho honse.
Tho doctors all say he'll die tonight,
and I wanted to tell bcranton. i am so
worried. Pshaw. I'm worried sick. I"
He paused, ran his fingers through his
hair and looked embarrassed.
"Come, now, Funning, tell me all
about it," said (he thoroughly interested
Miss Irwiu.
"There ain't much to telL Oh, yon
monn what I'm worrvina about? Well.
to put the whole thing in a fow linos,
I'm afraid he might not die in time for
me to got my story for the morning's
paper. Just think or wnac i a lose
such a beautiful story.
Miss Irwin looked shocked, and Fan
ning saw it. His bine eyes took on a
resolute expression, but tho muscles of
his face did not move, nor did bis red
nlifuks crow the least bit redder. He lit
a cigarette and said doggedly :
" Yes, ma am ; so long as he's going to
riiat.hav Raid be won't live through
tonight he might have enough consid
eration for me to arrange it in time.
Just my luck to get scooped." And he
knocked off some cigarette ashes.
Miss Irwin gazed at tne boy in aston
"Why, you cruel, cruel fellow," she
exclaimed, in a disappointed tone, "I
didn't think you were thut sort
It was running's turn to iook disap
pointed. "You seem to think, because I
talk as I do, thatapoiico reporter nasu t
any feelings nt all," he said, in an in
jured way. "Maybe we've got more
rhiMi Ton think. Now. there ain't any
body sorrier than I am for that little
boy. Why, his mother and sister think
I'm the best friend they've got, because
if I hadn't said my say, the bully who
imrr t.lvn little ohan wouldn't have been
held at all. I fixed him all right enough,
though ; made things pretty lively at tne
polioe court, didn't I? Well, I guess.
"Say, if be would only hurry up ana
die in time I could write the moBt ele
gant and touching story. Yon just ought
to see him. Everybody takes so much in
terest in him, and folks send him books
and toys and jelly and all sorts of good
things to eat When I saw him this even
ing, the bed was covered with play
things, but if you'll believe it, he didn't
seem to care for 'em at all The only
thing be noticed was a bunch of roses
somebody had sent him. He wouldn't
part with 'em, and when I saw him ly
ing back there with the flowers against
his cheek, I thought how pretty it would
be for me to have him die with them in
bis hand. Say, wouldn't that be piotur
esque? I won't bother you, though, any
longer. If yon see Sorauton, tell him
about it; be'll be interested. "
The door closed, and Miss Irwin was
again alone. She oouldn't take up the
train of thought she had been pursuing
when interrupted, and she still bad the
shocked look she assumed at the begin
ning of Fauning's conversation.
"Such a hardened fellow," she mut
tered, "and yet at heart I really believe
him to be what he says he is."
The next morning Miss Irwin scanned
the papers, but saw nothing about the
boy. The evening papers contained long
accounts of bis life and death. Miss Ir
win felt rather sorry that Fanning, with
all his cruel, kind heart, bod been scoop
ed. She was sure his account would
have surpassed those she had read, and
tibe sighed as she thought of the roses.
They had not been mentioned at all.
Several days passed. She was anxious
to meet the police reporter. Curiosity
caused her to wonder what he would
gay. Finally the chance came. She hap
pened to be waiting for a car when Fan
ning passed. She stopped him.
"By the way, Fanning, I saw yon
were cheated out of your story about
the little boy.".
' Yes, I was. Lack's dead against
"What time did be die?"
"Three a m. exactly. Just too late
for me to get in even a line. I was there
when he died. "
"Poor, dear, little fellow! How did
be die?"
"He died on space rates, ma'am."
Miss Irwin thought that the had be
louie used to the reporter's peculiar
style, but his reply was too much for
ber. When she reguined her composure,
sho said :
"I moan, did hekuow unybody? Was
bo conscious to tho lust?"
"Oh, yes. Ho just opened his eyes ;
then ho shut om again, nud bo opened
'em again nud smiled real sweet at his
mother and sister and mo, and then,
and then he he juctdiod nice, roal nice.
"Say," be touched Miss Irwin on
tho arm and laughed, "what do you sup
pose? His motbor thinks so much of rue
she asked me to pick out the coffin;
said she didn't know what would Lo ap
propriate. I selected a little beauty.
Buy, you ought to havo seen him iu it. "
Miss Irwin wus becoming vastly in
terested in Fanning. Ho wus so differ
ent from uny one sho hud ovor mot bo
fore. Thon, too, be puzzled hor. His
conversation was certainly of a "don't
cure" stylo, but soiuohow she conldn't
beliove him to be as hourtloss as be
soemod. His story about the doath of
tho little boy hod affectod hor greatly;
so much so, in fact, that she went to
soo the sorrow stricken mothor.
"Oh," said the mothor, between her
tears, "yon are from The Morning Her
ald, you say? It is so kind of you to
coma My poor little boy thought Tbe
floruld was the best paper in town ; lie
often sold it If all the people on The
Herald nre so good and kind as yoa and
Mr. Funning"
"Yes, do you know him? I don't
know what on earth I wonld have done
in all my trouble if it budn't boon for
him. Ho's got tho kiudost, most gener
ous honrt 'The Lord loveth a choerful
giver,' but then, Mr. Funning can af
ford to give, and"
"Funning ufford to give I" ejaculated
Miss Irwin. "Why"
"It's a blessed thing to be rich, and
to have so much power on a greut big
paper like Tli Horuld," continued the
elder woman. 'Of course, if be bad been
poorer off than ho really is, I wouldn't
have let him do what he did. "
"May 1 ask what be did?" inquired
Miss Irwin.
, " Yes, iudoed, and I'm only too glad
to toll you abont it I believe in men
tioning good deeds. Mr. Funning's pa
per took such an interest in my little
boy that it printed long columns about
bim, and then Mr. Fanning had tho man
who Injured my boy put in jail, and
then he sent him flowers beautiful
roses, the ones he was buried with and
Mr. Fanning even bought the ooffln with
bis own money. When I told him not to
do that he laughed and said that was
nothing he could afford it "
"So," mused tlie lady reporter, as she
walked away, "Fanning has spout all
his hard earned savings on tho flowers
and coffin. He's a dear, good boy. "
Omaha Herald.
Alway Room For "Inn."
"The kind of men I want to hire,"
said a newspaper publisher the other
day while talking to a friend, "are sel
dom to be had. No matter what their
lines of business Msers' (a word that
rhymes with soissors) are never out of
work and always got good money. I
want some isors. "
"Isers?" exclaimed his companion.
"What on earth nre isers?"
"To explain what they are," replied
the publisher, "let me tell you a story
of a 'want ad. ' Once a man wished to
employ for his circus an acrobat who
oould throw triple somersaults. So ho
put a 'want ad.' in tho paper. In reply
to the advertisement he received 50 let
ters. Together with a friend he read
them over. Some of the letters he put
in a pile by themselves. They were the
ones that read something like this :
"Drab Bib You advertise for a man who
can throw a triple aomeraault. I used to throw
triple somersaults and think that after a little
practice I could do it again. I'd like a trial.
"The other letters were put in anoth
er pile and ran something like this:
"Dsab Bin I am a good acrobat; but, while
I never have thrown triple somersaults, I think
with a little practice I oould do it I'd like to
have a trial.
" 'Well,' said the circus man, as he
shook his head sadly, 'there are 60 let
ters from 50 acrobats. Twenty-five of
tbem are "has beeus," 25 nre "going to
bes," but there ain't nn "iser" in tbe
whole lot' Now, I want 'isers,' and so
does every other business man, but they
ore all employed. ' ' New York Tribune.
Mlitaken Klndneaa.
One of tbe first resolutions which are
formed by men nnd women who are
succeeding in life, that la, as measured
by tbe only standard in nse nowadays,
increasing their possessions far beyond
their actual needs, is that they will put
safeguards around their children; the
hardships which they themselves con
tended against shall never, if tbey can
help it, be encountered by their off
spring. They not only ooddle them
selves, indulge themselves with unao
customed luxuries and spare themselves
all avoidable physical exertion, but they
believe this course to be the right way
to live, and that if it is good for them,
it is good for their children. They do
not understand thnt character is formed
under the pressure of the compulsory
hardships and self denials of youth,
jnst as they forget that health is not a
gift or an accident, but tbe reward of
abstinence and of hard work under nat
ural , conditions, perhaps continued
through several generations. Frederick
First Electric Light la a Theater.
It is believed that the first electric
light installed in an American theater
was a Jablochkoff candle, used as a fo
cusing lamp in the old California the
ater, in Bush street, San Francisco, in
1878. The managers of the theater at
that time were Messrs. Barton & Hill,
General Barton and Frauk Lawler. Tbe
play was "Antony and Cleopatra," Bow
Eytinge and Cyril Searle taking the
leading parts. Mr. A. H. Recce was tbe
engineer in charge of the woTfc.
Time bas worked a complete revolu
tion in theatrical lighting, and today
there is not a theater in the United
Stares which arm Id dispense with the
electric 1 bt Electricity.
The shy young man and timid mnld
In silence wait from week to week,
Each wondering, modestly afraid,
Whose place it really Is to speak.
Washington Star.
"How was the brldo given awny?"
"By hor complexion." Chicago Rec
ord. Guzlcy "Is It good to eat at night be
fore going to bod?" iJizbey "Be def
inite, man, Is whnt good to eat?" Rox
bury Gazette.
Old Itnehelor "Now that your sister
hns married, It Is your turn." Young
lady "Is thnt meant ns an offer?"
Lustlge Blatter.
'Thotis hast a pretty wit," quoth the
monarch. "Aye, and a dry humor," re
plied tho Jester. Whereupon the king
pushed tho button. Philadelphia Rec
ord. After tho Hall. First Sweet Thing
"Jack says Miss Passe didn't look twen
ty lost night." Second Sweet Thing
"Xo. She looked thirty-live!" New
York Tribune.
Corroborated. New-Yorker "Are
Fhlladelphlans ns slow ns New-Yorkers
think they are?" Phllndclphlan (sur
prised) "Do New-Yorkers think we're
slow?" Truth.
"It is sad," said one girl, "that so
many won nowadays hnve a great deal
more money than brains."' "Yes,"
sighed another; "and so little money at
that" Washington Star.
"Kitty, why has our French Revolu
tion Club called an extra meeting?"
"Oh, Nan, we are so bothered; we can't
find out whether we're read two vol
umes or three." Louisville Courier
Journal. Belle "You know Jack Glddiboy, of
course; don't you think he Is Just out
of sight?" Sadie "Indeed he Is! a
very pcrsonlllcatlon of the old saying,
'out of sight out of mind.'" Boston
Tis well your heaviest wraps to wear
When you a-skatlug go,
E'en though for frost you do not care;
They break the full, you know.
Washington Star.
"I understand your daughter has
given up bicycle riding." "Yes. She
sold her wheel as soon ns she found out
she couldn't wear high-heeled shoes on
it with any degree of success." Chica
go Evening Post.
Hoax "Tlinley went to Alaska pros
pecting for gold, nud found load in
stead." Joax "Ah! In largo quanti
ties, I suppose, and valuable." Hoax
"No; in small quantities, nud fatal."
Philadelphia Record.
Mamma "What do you mean by
taking that piece of cake? When you
asked for It didu't I say no?' Tommy
"You did; but hist night I heard papa
say that when a woman says no she al
ways mean yes." Truth.
Dolly I hear Mary Antique was a
great belle at the dance the other even
ing. She told me she danced every
dance. Tolly-Oh, yes. Mary's Just
the kind of a girl to be a belle at a leap
year dance. Harvard's Bazar.
Here's a motto that's ns certain
As that two pints make a quart:
Time and tide will wait for no man,
Little, big,, or long or short.
Philadelphia Item.
She Oh, yes; I know that you think
that woman is a silly creature, whose
head can be turned by mere finery.
He It is sure to be turned If some
other woman passes with the mere
finery on. Indianapolis Journal.
Mrs. Greene Of course, you rend all
your husband's stories? Mrs. White
(wife of the popular author) Oh, dear,
no! They are nothing to the stories
be sometimes tells me after be bns
been out of an evening. Boston Trans
cript. Omce Boy There is a man outside
who wishes to see you. Business Man
Didn't I give orders that I was not to
be disturbed? Office Boy Yes, sir; but
this Is a very, mild-looking man. I
don't think he would create a disturb
ance. Truth.
Maud I hear proposing parties are
all the style this winter. Tbe girls do
the proposing and tbe one who pro
poses the best gets the prize. Have
you been to any? Ethel No; but I
had a proposing party come to me the
other evening. How do you like my
ring? Harper's Bazar.
Bellefleld A cynical writer remarks
that a wedding always brings happi
ness to two, the florist and the clergy
man. Bloomfleld He forgets the fa
ther of the bride, especially if the poor
man has half a dozen other daughters
on his hands. Pittsburg Chronicle
Telegraph. "The natural history class will now
write down the names of twelve Arc
tic animals," said the teacher in mo
notonous tones. Little Johnnie dashed
off the following and banded his slate
proudly to the teacher: "ix seals, five
polar bears and one walrus." New
York Evening Sun.
"Willie," said the boarding-bouse
mistress to her young son, "I was
ashamed of you at dinner. You kept
your arms on the table during the eo
2re nieair "Yes, mamma," was the
peful's reply; "I didn't want to give
:he boarders a chance to say there was
lothin' on tbe table." Yonkers Statesman.