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About Oregon City courier. (Oregon City, Clackamas County, Or.) 1883-188? | View Entire Issue (Nov. 23, 1883)
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OREGON CITY, CLACKAMAS COUNTY; OH, FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 2a, 1883.
POT TP I R. R
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OREGON CITY COURIER,
musHiD steit nniAT
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L IM UABXKV,
tt01 Alt rOfHTOB
" II I I " MS
",-3Y Af.-i .A
An (Mil Mew Cnpluhi '
There is it queer litlli' nouk down on
I lie coast'.. below Simla ISnrlmrii, into
which u rumbling Teorler found 1 1 Ih
wny a lew days ago." It Ih I ho wreck of
Vessel, perched high anion); the sunil
IiMIh upon tlic Pains Verdes rimcho upon
, the shores of Sun IViIro Bav. Ft iH tint
homo of u viviu'ioiiH, eccentric individ
ual mi old Halt named fupl. J. I'.
Junes, who boasts of having met ami
.anqiilshcd single-handed the represen
tatives of the most powerful monopoly
on the I'acilic coast. "Como iiml we
my museum," suid Junes to tlm reporter,
who wuh wcnthcr-lioiiiid on Sun l'edro
wharf, with the mercury steadily crawl
ing up above the 100th degree!1 "It is
n queer place, hut I ilin't ashamed of it,
iiml It's cooler down here; besides, I
want to allow you my lawsuits. I have
twenty-eight of them, all of thom nailed
upon the wall, and each olio represents
The "queer place" was found in a dry
arroyo, or sandy gulch, upon the ' north
side of Sun l'edro harbor. It is a hand
some, square house, with u piazza ex
tending all around it and a flagstaff sur
mounting the whole. At a distance it
. presents the appearance, of a tasty little
hotel, and over the top can be seen
painted upon the stern of some wrecked
ship the words "Ocean Villa." It is
only when one enters the neat little in
closure about the house that its true
character is observable. The house and
its w hole surroundings, are made up of
portions of w recks. The garden fence,
the plants, the ornaments all around
hear the signs of the sen. The house is
u combination of bulwarks, bulkheads,
lockers and cabins. , The principal room
is the cabin of some first-class ship;
the room above it iH the cabin of a bark.
The kitchen is the galley of a wrecked
merchantman, nnd each and all of the
md all of the
many appointments are
wheelbouses .or cooking
ferred from mine dismantled emit
wrecked upon the bay. No two rooms
are alike, and all are. constructed so as
to preserve their original apiHsarance
' upon the ship they were built uion
Some ure finished in natural woods an:)
some are ceiled with wood of the most
It is, in fact, u house made up of
wrecks gathered together by t'apt. Janes
as a waterman on the south coast during
ten years. The principal (tortious of
the house are made out, of the wreck of
'the Adelaide Cooper, which was cast
ashore during u southeaster about three
years ago. The interior walls are cov
ered with marine curiosities gathered by
sailors in all portions of the world. The
collection of handwork made by sailors
. Is perhaps the best on this coast. The
models of shins and quaint carvings are
splendid. The most remarkable curios
ity of all is a large star formed out of
legal documents from tho coir ts and
sheriff's office and nailed upon the
walls. "Those papers," said ('apt.
Junes, in explanation, "are my law
suits. I keep them on exhibiticn like
mi Indian does his scalps. Those are
suits 1 have bud brought against me by
the Southern I'acilic ami by Cleii. I'hin
ens Banning to drive nie away from this
spot. I have delied them all and have
whipped 'em. 1 am here yet and
there's my boats, those three little
sloops, anchored in front of my house.
1 own this land and the water front and
ull I have about tno is paid for. When
me and my wife came here we had not
a dollar and we lived in a tent made
out of an old sail. Now I am inde
(MMiilent and next month shall start a
newspaper, the San l'edro Shipting
Gazette. 1 am no scholar, never went
te school; I aw a sailor, hut I have
made up my mind to grow rich with
MBS. SIDDONS AND HER POX QF PORTER.
On one exceiiivelv hut evening, when
playing at fn-eds, Mrs. Siddons, whilst
behind the scenes, exhausted by thirst,
desired to have some porter. Her
dresser dispatched a.boy in great haste
"to bring smne lieer for Mrs. Siddons,"
at. the same time charging him to be
quick, as she was uhrmt to go on the
1uge." In the meantime the play, of
course, proceeded. The boy, on his
return, looked in vain for Mrs. Siddons.
She had gone on with tier part, and the
scene-shifter, to whom lie applied,
pointed to her where she was treading
the board in death-like solemnity as
Lady .Macbeth in the sleep-walking
scene. To the surprise and horror of
all the ierformers, the boy, with the
frothing not in his hand, promptly
walked up to her and offered it. She
attempted to wave him away, in her
grand manner, without effect, but the
ubsurdity had now (aught the general
eye. The people behind the scenes, by
dint of beckoning, stamping and calling,
in half-audible whisiiers, at length Kit
ceded in getting him away, spilling,
however, part of the beer in his exit.
Pjit the audience were in roars of laugh
ter, which nothing could quell for some
Ci l.Tt'RR. A Montana ' belle being
askeil by a Bismarck man if they pos
sessed any culture out her wav replied:
Culture?" Yon let your variegated
socks we do! We kin sling more cul
ture to a square foot in Helena than they
kin in any camp in America. Oh,
oosen n.v corsets till I smile.
A ROUGH BAT STORY.
V. M. Head, of lloliviir, Temi., con
tributes the following grim story to the
A few days ago quite a singular oc
currence happened on a farm owned
by Mr. Wood, a medical practitioner
hare in this vicinity. The occurrence
was not so very singular cither; no
more than you see or hear of most
every day of our lives, but the pecu
liar way in which it happened Is some
thing novel. We very ohVn huurof a
person (Wing when Iving down, or
prostrated in Nome wav, but we scarce,
if ever, heard of one breathing his
last when Htuuding erect, without a
single support except one hand resting
slightly upon a frail object at his side
Nevertheless, lie passed off with simi
lar grace and euso to join the silent
hand, as one who is reclining upon the
downiest couch. But such is the case
that happened on the place above men
tioned. A colored man by the imino
of Andrew Jackson came to town, and
on returning home again, when pass
ing Mr. Wood's farm he demanded of
the driver to let him get out of the
wagon. , After getting out ho walked
toward the dwelling. On arrival there
he inquired for the doctor. He whb
told that he was abroud, but would be
buck in a short time. Ho then said
that ho would go on to the ham where
he could lie down, for ho felt a little
sick, and would come back when the
doctor returned. Nothing more was
thought ubout it until that night, when
the lad who was employed in feeding
the stock went into the stable as usual,
to go through with the routine of his
duties, but upon entering he became
aware that ha was not the only occu
pant. A man stood directly in front of
hint. The hov spoke to him, but re
ceiving no reply, he turned and fled to
the house to acquaint his master of the
facts. ' Tliey both immediately returned
with a light, so they could easily dis
cover the motives of the intruder. Lit
tle diil they think that the man was u
.corpse, standing there, like a statue, un
til they had approached quite close to
him. w ith the glaring light falling upon
his distorted features, one hand resting
on the foilder-racks and hat iioiscd
upon one side of his head. He never
stood more erect in his life. Of course
it was not a pleusant picture to look
upon, so tho dixtor and youth backed
unmolested out of the door, quietly re
traced their steps toward the house
and Isent for the coroner, r.ho did
and jsent for the coroner, i
not arrive till attoiit"iuidnigh't.
juupi.KmiiiBtluo took pinna
the jurymen were nuzzled to know
whether the deceased had met his death
by rats, or otherwise, for during the
interim the rats had clamliered up the
deail man's legs and thence his shoul
ders, where the rupneious vermin began
to mitigate their carnal desires by first
taking off his ears, then his nose, and
lastly his lips. Of course this left the
face destitute of three of tho most
prominent features. You can imagine
that he did not look much like a human
being. No wonder the jurymen felt a
little uneasy when they entered the
stable door and saw a man before them
without either ears, nose or lit I, and
teeth showing like that of a grinning
cur. 1 he decision of the inrv was soon
rendered, and read as follows: "Un
certain as to whether the man met lii
leath by some unknown inaladv, or bv
nils being a little too rough on him."
TRYING 10 TALK QUAKES,
is no easy matter for a novice to
"Quaker" fluentlv. The tongue
becomes confused with its triple choice
of pronouns, and Haps listlessly around
I well recollect my clumsy efforts to
engage m conversation with a farmer,
whom 1 met in Chester countv, the
(Junker stronghold of Pennsylvania.
When I happened upon him be was sit
ting upon a worm fence, vacantly star
ing at a cream-colored colt in the adja
cent Held. I at once divined him to be
a Friend in undress, and determined to
delight the old fellow and, amuse myself
by carrying on a skillful dialogue in his
own idiom. This is how I succeeded:
ow do thee do, sir? Is that is,
are thee meditating?"
If he was delighted, he controlled his
emotion admirably. All he did was to
gape and inquire:
"The fields, the birds, the flowers," I
pleasantly pursued, "are enough to
bring thou clieaiiis 1 mean 'dreams to
He was looking ut me now, and crit
ically. I felt that my syntax hud len
very idiotic instead of idiomatic, so,
wiping the sweat front my brow and hat,
I eyed 1 li lit calmly and observed:
"Those cows, are thy's or thee's
that in.thou's duni it! I mean thines?"
I was very' unfortunate.' Ho crawled
down from the fence, nibbled at a plug
of nickel-nugget an act of itself suffi
cient to un-Qnaker him and as he am
bled away, muttered indignantly :
"lioate your pants'. I'm a tra'mp,
but a gintlcman."
WiNMNti A Caitaincv. Seidlitz, the
famous general of cavalry, when with a
young officer, used to maintain that any
mounted soldier w ho allowed liimseif to
tie taken prisoner, together with his
horse, was a scamp or a coward. He
once rode in the suite of the king over
the bridge leading into the fortress of
(ilogana. When they hud reached the
middle of the bridge, at a signal from
the king, the two drawbridges in front
and tiehind were drawn up, and the
king turned to Seidlitz with theworda:
"Now. you are mv prisoner." "Not
yet, vour Majesty," answered the bold
-horseman, as lie gave the spurs to his
horse, leajs?d over the parapet into the
Oder and swam safelv to the shore.
He was only a cornet w hen lie sprang
into the water, but lie found himself a
captain by tlie time he got to the land
news -as Awnoros.
4'urloim Aunmiiii eiueiit ut Mwiuir
Kin Yearn Ak
I was shown the other day a copy of
the first edition of the Maryland Jour-
, a weekly paper, the publication of
which was begun in Baltimore, on Fri -
day, August 20, 1 77It , by William Ood
ilunlt iiml has continued, its career,
though under different names, ever since,
and Is now known as the Baltimore
Aiiwrwan nnd Commercial Adver
ftser, kThe following is tU raherfr't!'ii
al way in which the editor makes his
bow to the public: "It (the paper)
shall contain not only the public news,
which I shall collect and' compile with
tho greatest care, hut oil a failure of un
ecdotes. of that sort I will supply the
room with such moral pieces from the
best writers" and ho on. The Ameri
can Revolution, which thundered over
the continent shortly after, could hardly
liave been a very refreshing "anecdote"
to our worthy journalistic progenitor.
Judging by the following pointed and
explicit statement, the editor was a man
of business also : "I laving ventured upon
a very arduous and expensive undertak
ing, I must now earnestly entreat the
immediate assistance pt every subscriber
in advancing the entrance money, agree
able to contract, without which the lifo
of the pujier will be of very short dura
tion." There could be no misunder
standing where candor was so great.
The following lieginning of tin adver
tisement is another illustration of ex
plicit statement : "Christopher I lughes
k Co., goldsmiths and jewelers, at the
sign of the cup and crown the corner of
Market and Gup streets, in the house
where Mr. Jacob Me vers formerly lived,
and opposite Mr. Usher's new store (late
Mr. Little scoflee-house), in Baltimore."
I eliuqucnt tax-pavers were summarily
dealt with in those days, or else the
Sheriff of Baltimore county was a great
wag or possessed supreme coiiUimpt for
all useless verbiage, as witness the fol
lowing s)iecimen tax notice of the times:
Baltimore, August 18, 177a Many
people in this town and Fell's Point hav
ing hitherto neglected to puy their pub
lic dues, this year my Deputy lias my
orders to execute every person that has
not paid, without distinction, ns I am to
leave the otlice in November, and all ac
counts must be settled with ; .
' J Itjl Im.i.io a v.
No lessa personage.tllun weorge
ington was one of the Hrst patrons of the
Journal, he having advertised over his
own signature 20,000 acres of land for
sale, situated on the Little and' Oreat
Kanawha rivers. In those times, also,
slaves ran away from their masters and
were duly advertised for, as in more re
cent ante-lu'lluin days. They were not
all negyoes either. There was a fugitive
Irishman for whom a reward of 10 was
offered by one Heilcy, and several others
of the same kind.--C'orr of the Troy
HE SAW WIDOWS, f
Officer Button, at the Union depot,
picked up the other day a memorandum
book evidently lost by some one attend
ing the State Fair. All the entries are
made in a business-like' manner, and
some of them are readable. The Hrst
entry is: . ..
Shall take $10 with me to the Shite
Fair. Second-class hotel good enough
for me. Beware of ptckjiockets. Keep
your eyes osn for a good-looking widow.
tew the animals, and don't forget to
take two dean handkerchiefs along.
The second entry reads:
"Fair up to the average. Saw a widow
in the car going up. I idn't seem to like
tnvstvle. Somebody has stuck me with
a bogus half dollar.'; Saw another widow
on the grounds. Bather too stout.
Viewed .the animals and was kicked by
a steer." ' ' '
Third entry "flood attendance. Slept
on the floor. ' Jam on the street cars.
Passed the bogus money off on a boot
black. Saw a widow at the hotel. Most
too lean. Went to the theater last night.
Can't remetulier the play'. Saw several
widows, nut no chance to make an im
pression." . II . : .
Fourth entry "Big crowd on the
grounds. : Beat my way in. Saw a wid
ow on the fence. Most too boisterous
for mv locality. Saw b horse race. One
horse lieut all the others, iewed the
machinery and was hit on the ear by a
loafer. ' Saw a widow viewing the head
less rooster. Mouth most too large for
my part of the State. Slept in a barn
Fifth entry "Saw a widow m the
post-office. Blind in one eye. No good.
Big jam. Trjed to heat my way ill, hut
couldn't.: Saw &' horse race. Faw a
widow on the grand stand.1' Bowed to
her. Cold cut. Viewed the big ox.
Saw a widow in Honey Hall, liaised
mv hut. (lot left. Feel blue."
As that was the last entry it would
seem as if he gave up in disgust and
started for home. A jierson stipiioscd
to I him "saw a widow" at the A-mt
Friday afernoon, and liecame so obnox
ious that she hit him over the head with
an umbrella and two or three men
reached for him with cowhide txsits. !
Octroi! Free Press.
. - r
A couple of jii ksjckets followed a
gentleman for some blocks with a view
of availing themselvesof the first oppor
tunity to relieve him of his purse. He
suddenly turned into a lawyer's office.
What shall we do now?" asked one.
"Wait for the lawyer," said tlie other.
Public sympathy : Dissatisfied wife
"We cannot agree we must part for
ever." Husband "All right; but we
must not ventilate our sorrows through
the press." Wife "Ugh! wliat is the
nse of the separation, then?
The journey from Ijomlon, to Taris is,
without doubt, one of thf most disagree
able that travelers hole to endure in
making the tour of Kurupe, This is
principally owing to the wretched condi
tion of the channel boats, which are by
far the worst I have eer seen, anil a
disgrace to the two nations that supjHirt
! ""' If the eompany would only have
ine ciuerjirise lo pun out a icw ui our
fourth-rate river tug-boiils, 1 havo no
doubt they would lie well repaid by the
increased amount of travel their superior
accommodations would draw. After six
hours of exquisite torture from New
haven In Enulnnrt, we arrited at Iiepe,
a quaint old French town of medieval
origin, hut possessing little that would
attract tne average tourin. Alter a
hasty run through its Btrcets, from which
little instruction or' ara'uiiement were
gathered, we hoarded the Hrst train and
were soon whirling away towards the
city of Paris. As in Knghnd, the farms
are well tilled and under tho highest
state of cultivation; although there is
not that uniformity in thiir ajqiearuitce
that is so noticeable in thi' former coun
try. Here we ft ml a dihVrent order of
things entirely. The lanll is all owned
by the people wild till theifuil, and con
sequently there is that divvmity of opin
ions and tastes that is alwiiys associated
with political liberty. In England every
farm and every house is unmet counter
part of all others; while lb France you
will see large farms unit small ones;
fences running straight, atl others run
ning crooked ; houses builfuf stone and
others built of brick and wl ; in short,
every variety of appearand with which
we are familiar in Amerin. You feel
instructively that you are in a land where
every man has a right to aisert his own
opinions, as long as he doesnot interfere
with the indeiendenee of lis neighbors.
The houses of the pqorer claises are usu
ally thatched with fltratt'iikead of be
ing covered with slate, unl I was in
formed that these roofs verr rarely leak ;
and when they do can easier he repaired
with the same cheap miitniil. In all
other respects their dwelling npiear to
tie us good, on the aveagf as tlioso in
England ond Scotland ; an! what is far
better, ihey are owned ky those who
dwell within. There re fewer hedge
fences here than in Knglatd, and con
sequently the country does not present
so picturesque an appearatire. F.urop
ean Corr. Hurrishiirg Telegram.
-"Mr dear," said MrTi:i,ily to his
Coleridge, t hief Justice of Inland, was
in town r '
"Topnoody," sbo answerc', 'do you
think I would let you spend (hirty cents
a week on a daily' newspar, and not
get the value of the money?',
"1 don't believe yon woiiM, my dear,
so I conclude you know of the distin
guished arrival. Now, wliawould you
think it 1 brought him lioiuwvith me?"
"Well, Topnoody, I sliuitlj think you
were drunk and Coleridge fas crazy."
"I don't see why, my ijej I had a
case once in court liefore bin, when he
was not so high and mighty, ind we he
came fast friends." I' . '
"I saw his nose, hs he drive past in
his carriage to-day, anil 1 sljotild imagine
from its resemblance to yiur, that you
were fast friends, very fast, nd hadn't
slowed down entirely yet.", r
"Don't talk that way, Mm-Jopiioody,
I won't have it." ?"f
"Won't you? (Well, you'd Mfer lile
a bill of exceptions, or take tin appeal
before yonr friend Coleridge."" .
"No, my dear, I shall noiirrol with
you, nor shall 1 bring the Chief Justice
here. ' ..... i
"Well, I'm glad .of '.it, Tnphoody ; for
if there is anv inconsistency in your
character which would lie ppitiliarly and
strikingly prominent, it . m tint yon should
tiring the Chief Justice of England into
this house, at this time; when during all
our previous married life,y(,(tivn never
permitted the common, ordinary Justice
of the United Stales to enter here und
characterize your action toWf.il the wife
of your bosom. So, there, son mean,
Mr. Topnoody was so let Unit he
stayed away from the St. Ki. holus ban
quet and saved $"Jii. MeMiBiit-Trav-eler.
Hash Cali.kii V bv. f Locomotive
Bki.i,. On one of the N'lWmrn trains
recently was an old lady w'o had never
I fore made a railroad ioiins-y. ' A(U-r
looking alsiut her some ti"" i" iri.H.i- i
ty. her eyes alight"d on t!' U ll line i
and she asked, the water hoy, who hap
pened to be passing at tlie time, what
it was for. "That, marni," said the
ljy, with a wicked twinkle in bis eyes,
'is to ring the bell when you want any
thing to eat," and passed on. Shortly
ah'er the old got down the family um
brella and reaching up. to the bell line
gave it a vigorous pull. Ofoitrse the
brakes were applied, the. windows
thrown up, questions asked, etc., the
old lady sitting calmly through the con
fusion. Presently the condifctor came
rustling into the cur, exclaiming, "Who
pulled that Ml?" "1 dil,"replied the
old lady meekly. "Well, what do you
want?" snapiied the official impatiently.
"Well," said the old party meditatively
"you may tiring me some hash." .
Bkfohk Makkiaok. "1 di on old
fashioned things," suifl she, as they sat
upon the lieacli and watched the white
sails disajqiearing in tlie dintance, "and
when 1 am married I will have my house
filled With old-fashioned furniture."
"Will you, indeed?" lie replied; "not
if I have anything to say ilxnil it. Do
you suppose I would adore you if yon
wer l.)0 years old .'
A tailor np town Ims a novel way of
advertising. Scattered all over he has
tlie line, "Kimball is the man yon want
to see." It may work np there but it
wouldn't down town. The average
young man's tail is about the last
man on earth lie wants to see.
FORCED TO D1UXK.
. r r .,
The Komi of Introduction Tphim Cow
boy Demand!. '
"I shall never forget my first intro
duction to a covtioy," said David Van
Drouver, of Cleveland. "It was in tlie
heart of Texas. ; I had been traveling
all day, and coming up with a little
shanty, culled a tavern, toward . even
ing. I determined to stop there for the
night. My horse was put 'up m the
barn, or. miller tied to a utiike in the
middle of the prairie, and then I went
into the 'hotel.' Them wus' only one
room with a dry goods box at one end,
which served as a bar. I was told that
I might bunk on a buffalo rone, which
lay in tlie corner.: ' Buing very tired,
soon fell asleep, but in the middle of
tlie night was awakened , by someone
kicking me in the ribs, '(iet np tliar,'
said a gruff voice. 'AVhat what's the
matter?' I asked somewhat timidly.
'1 want you to get Up and take a drink
with me, und be jiurty quick about it,
too, was tlie reply. Through the dim
light of u smoky kerosene lamp I could
faintly see the figure of a man, which,
with one look, I knew to lie a cowbo.r.
'But I never drink, my Mend,' said I.
'Now look ahere,; stranger, uo , man
ever refuses to drink with me more than
once in his life,' he answered, suggest
ingly touching the butt of one of his re
volvers. I concluded that discretion
was tho bettor part of valor in this case,
and so without any more ado I rose and
took a drink. When we had finished 1
offered to treat also, but he wouldn't
havo it. He said tie. only wanted to
see if 1 thought myself to good to drink
with linn. 'Well, what do you think of
me?' he asked, putting his hands upon
his hips nnd staring me plump in the
face. 'Well, sir,' suid 1, 1 don't know
as I have known you long enough yet
to form nn opinion.' 'Come now, that
won't go down. I want to know what
you think of me, and you might us well
answer now or forever (dose your cliim,'
and again his hand fell upon his re
volver. As I had no shootin' irons with
me, they being under the buffalo robe,
I saw" that 1 must answer him quickly.
'Well,' suid I, 'from all appearances I
shouldn't wonder if I thought just as
much of you as I do of the Presiili of
J.j United Staled.' 'Bully (oryoi'iJke
another awia,' and again I wu9 oijgd
.tujpvivullon' the rot, f(jiie -dre otrhich
was enough to kill any 'ordinary man.
After this, that man was one of the best
friends I had." f Cleveland. Lender.,. '
' I I ," ' I"
VASHI0N H0TUS. '. ' "
Hot Scotch night-caps will soon b
all the rage. . ... !n .
Silk hand-purses with monograms are
much worn empty. ! '""',' .
Blankets and heavy quilts will he
much used during the coining winter.
Old hoop skirts are now being utilized
as springs for dollar prize, watches.
The Murie-Louise blue has given
place to the Devonshire brimlle,
' A new fabric lias appeared on the
market called bison cloth. It is not a
relative of the buffalo robe. "
' Crushed strawberry as a fashionable
color has gone out, and mushed custard
is now tlie latest shade.
Zouave jackets have retiiiearcd, and
the monkey business apiears to ho float
ing on the top wave of popularity .
.Advices from Paris bint that the old
style of short gloves will lie revived to
accommodate short purses. " 1
Paniers tire gro'wing in size und favor
owing to a favorable season with few
radical climatic, changes.
The greatest changes In the iiiauu
fact lire of jerseys show the vast effect.
It Is now in order to request a lady to
dull down her vest. -
As the cool weather approaches,
laundry bills visibly decrease. With
much care and attention the dry goods
clerk now makes a white shirt lust him
NOT A THIN3 TO BECOME EXCITED OVER
Do not become unduly excited over
tlie insults, that tlie King of Spain Is al
leged to have received in Paris. The
.t patches to the papers magnify the af
V r so that it seems to assume great pro-
isirtions, when in fuet it was nothing
more than a few hisses und hoots by a
low class of people, and it was only an
annoyance to the King. We should not
ts ne excited over it, and talk about
wiping out the stain in hlissl. . Keep
cool. It is no more than as though the
Mayor of Oshkosh should Is- riding in u
precession in Milwaukee, mid some
Third Ward hoodlums should yell at him
to pull down his vest, (jr wisj off his
chin, or say shoot the hat. It Is uo
worse thnn it would have t)een if some
loud-mouthed individuals hud insulted
the lletroit Aldermen when they Were
here to insjiet-t onr breweries. In either
cast- the sop!e of Kurope would not have
ts-cn informed of their insults by cuble,
and they would not liave discussed Osh
kosh and Iietroit, and got wild over the
insults. Let us lie calm. The King of
Spain w ill come out all right if he d'H-s
not get full of ting juice. Milwaukee
' ' : ''
Dikx't Cabkv it Away "Yon are
charged with carrying whisky away
from an illicit distilery," said the United
States Judge to Uncle Silas. "What
liave you to say to that charge?"
"I isn t guilty, sail. 1 iliiln I carry it
' You had some, then?"
Yes, sab, I had some."
"What did you do with it?"
"Well, sail, all dat I had wuz inside
oh me, an' I had so much dat I couldn't
tarry it away, so I jess, stayed dar."
. A GREAT CANKOH.
A stout, elderly man, with a long,
iron-gray beard and blue glasses, stood
on the sand near the old fort at Sandy
Hook directing a gang of men who Were
operating an odd-looking big gun,
mounted upon a red ; carriage. Four
crunks, a trifle, larger than those of an
ordinary . liand-orgun, projected aliove
tlie gun, and four large protuberances
like mammoth iron kettles were visible
heneuth it. The man was Mr. J. It.
lluskell and his weapon, the., nmlti
charge gutu ' , '',.'
' "Yon are jtist' hi time to see ns load
and Hre," lie suid to jho reporter of Hie
if orla. "V e are to-rlav beginning eX'
perjiuents to learn how fust a shot of a
given weight will lie carried by a given
charge und how much pressure there
will lie upon the sides of tlie gun. . Now
watch. , ' ; i: ,
First the breech-block was sprung out
and the shot inserted. Tho projectile
(weighing 110 pounds) was cylinder
conical lu shape und made of Iron and
copjier, with rings to fit theliore tightly.
A hag . containing fourteen pounds of
K)wder, so coarse that the grains felt
Lliku chestnut coal, wus used, und be
tween the bug nnd the ball was placed
a thick wal which looked like large
round ginger-snaps glued together and
By turning tho cranks thick lids were
unscrewed, revealing holes leading to
the kettles aforesaid, which are called 1
"pocket." i By means of long funnels
powder wag poured into two of tlie
pockets. Then the lids were screwed
on, und Captain Starring, of the ord
nance department United States army,
ned, "AU back!"
Soldiers and civilians hurried to tlie
rear, and flocked into an unpretentious
subterranean structure with a gravel i
roof, called a boinli-proof. Captain
Starring opened a little box on the wall
and pressed an electric button, There
was a dull, heavv report, followed by a
long, shrill w ail, like that of some crea
ture in distress. It was loud and dear
ut first, but died gradually away.
'She. 8 busted! cried one of tlie
' "Oh, no," said a veteran of tlie war,
"that's only the sound of a ring of
smoke, carried along by the wind."
The projectile was carried at tlie rate
of 1,558 feet for the first second. Four
teen pounds of powder were in tlie
breech and eighteen in each of tlie first
two pockets. The pressure upou-the
hreecn was 20,000 pounds to the square
tneu-.' "The target, which was about 300
yards ftum tUPVun,MusiMed uta beard
fence hacked by a hank uf sand twenty-
five feet thick. The heat of the shells
hardens tlie sand .so that a pick-ax is
neeessary in digging into it. ,: ., .V f ;
Between tlie target and the gun are
two frames,, oue hundred feet apart,
with electric wires strung upon them.
In its flight the projectile cuts the wires
which communicate with the 1 Le
Bouletig cronograpli, an ingenious in
strumous for measuring the velocity,
Kilter in the day, with a total charge of
six and one-sixth pounds of powder, the
Innitiitl velocity of the shot was 1,073
feet.' Little copiier cylinders were
placed at the breech, the pockets and
the muzzle in aiieratures made for them
for registering the pressure of the gas.
Before the gun is loaded the length of
each cylinder is measured with an in
strument whidi will record 1-100H of an
inch. Bv another instrument the force
required to oomprecs the cylinder, say
lnnO of an inch, is ascertained. After
the shot the cylinders are measured
again and a comparison of the figures
gives the jiressure. ; Three shots were
tired. . . i,., 1
"As soon as we have completed our
experiments to determine the proper
cliurge," said Mr, Haskell, "we will try
the range of Hie piece. So fur, every
thing has worked very nicely, Indeed!"
"How does tlie velisuty of your allot
compare with oilier styles of projec
tiles?" . - - - V '
"Directly there is not much differ
ence, lint we get an equal velocity with
much less pressure, and that amounts to
a decided superiority oVer guns of other
manufacture, Thus we get the velocity
of l,ri54feet with 20,000 Mjunds pros
sure, when the old guns woulillliuve :I0,'
ooo, or even
mjuiiiIs, j Neil
THE LIMEKILH CLOB.
.K).lr .Penstock uroso to inquire if
any niemlier of toe - dun nun neam
whether Bob lugersoll wus to lecture
this winter or .not. No one seemed to
huve heard anything ulsmt it, and the
reverend member requested that the
secretary lie instructed to write to luger
soll direct and ascertrin,
'What am do object?" queried tlie
I liroiMiKi; dut dis dub hike steps hi
prove dat dar am a hereafter fur the
"You do, eh! If de piissun who de
nies such a theory inn a hsil, dc piissun
who sots out to prove what sehen eights
oh de world already believes am nex
doiih loan idiot. Sot down an save
yor breaf. , .,
"But it uiu my ilisity as a Lhrlstian
man to controvert jngersoiis argy
meiits." "It am your disily as a Christian man
to let Bob lugersoll have ull de rope he
wants!" If von has got de iiroper
faith he can't hurt ye. If your belief
won't stan' an attack den it am too weak
to stun' alone. If, after men and women
have believed in Ood, an' hereuftcr, an'
healM'n for (1,000 years, a luwyer wid a
snub nose, an' a voice like a dog barkin'
in a har'I, can come along an' scare 'em
into fits, Komcliody had better go to
work an' plug up de knotholes an put
new rivets in de jmts. '
This is tlie time that the dude looks
over his kid gloves, and picks out tlie
pair that will stand mending and dye'
ing, ami what tlie dude saves in gloves
be puts into a standing collar.
THE CHIXESti BlUim.
How Hlie In Delivered to the Uroom,
and How He Mains Her Hit Wife.
On tho wedding day the KUt sts as
semble in the briilegroom's house'. Then
a procession' Is formed onlstiig of
friends,' bunds'' of" 'uiiisiif, ajid,.','. sedan
chairs decorated . hired', and gold,. with
liearers in red coats' "and rfressivlMn a
sort of livery sometimes)) wearirtig red . .
caps. the procession . starts Iroui the
house with a courlcir; at the,' lieaii. He . .
bears a large piece of pork on a- tray, t
to keep off malicious demons who limy
be lurking on tho street corners nnd in
the alleys.' These demons are surprised
to tackle tlie port, arid while they' are
thus brisied tW'proceHsioii passes' on
without being 'affected , by their ovjl
influence.' ' All this time the bride ut in
her own house, arraying herself bi her
best dress and richest jewels. " Her hair
is hound up and arranged in due' form
and stylo by a skilled matron. ' After
this her headdress is donned.-' It usual-
consists of some rich . material
sprinkled with ornaments, u I A, Urge
mantle is then thrown over herM It
completely covers her. , Last of all an ..
enormous hat, as large as an umbrella,
is placed on her head. Jt comes down
to her shoulders, completely hiding, her
face; Thus rigged, she hikes her seat
in tlie red gilt marriage chairl called
kwa kiau. When concealed in this
cliuir she is carried to her husband by "
four men. , ,. -i , ' ;,(,
When tjie bride t is. seated Ja tbe
hair her mother or some other relative
locks the door and the key is given to
the best man. ' 1 suppose' lie tnrim it
over to the bridegroom on reaching iis
house. The ' procession ' tittlrns w ith
more care and more 'stylbl'' 'I naw tne
during a rumble in a 0hine.se townj "As
the bride was born past; us we gaa her
three cheers. 1 dare 'say that nib lior
liihlren will be either knock-kneed vor
bow-legged, because, of the cheers j of
the baritins. (iood luck to the. poor
bottled-up ne. She , had the ls?st
wishes of all our party, as we followed
the procession for some' squares, to tlie
great astonishment Of all the Chinamen
on the street. " I' i-'-i'-- ,
As the procession "approached? Ilia ',...,, .
bride-groom's' floor' ar band- stationed
there struck up a tone and 'firecrackers
went lei tt boa watt tM wrtde '
wn cartied within, tlie i"ate; '.Tlie-tto'5'?Tv-
between 'then pot the. keyfrpru. ".Uie""
bridegroom and oeiied the door of the
sedau-chair. , As, the bride alighted she .
was saluted by a small child at the side ,
of the old man. The groom was closeted
within tlie house; and she went in , (o
seek him.''' She still wore tho enormous
hut and mantle. " When she found the
groom he greeted he wttlYtfreat gravity.
They ; both i approached tlie'' ancestral ,
tablet and lowed thejn i hrauls three
times. , .They next took seats at a small
tabla Wring o goblots, tied, together
with thread and containing wmei.i.Tbe
go-between severed the thread,,, but the
brute failed to quench tier thirst .owing
to the enormous hat und mantle. '
The two were now man and ."Wife.
The husband timk the hat and maiitlo
from the bride, and for the first time iti
his life had a look at herj i After , ho
had looked at her for some minutes Jie
culled in his friquds and-gnests. They
scrutinized her und made no bonei of
expressing their i opinions., concerning
her charms. ,, Tlie female gave .their
tongues full scope, antl bad no: mercy
upon the poor ,br(de.,, I?he took, , it . all
without making any disugrcuhte aJiswor,
for fear that the riiatd) 'would w 'yjn
sidored an ttnlwky'' one". tlioWcfuel .
criticisms ended, Shi was' introduced tv
her husband s parents, after. Wlil'J shw
saluted her own father and mother. ,'(b
wedding feast was. then 'served, 'the
sexes eating In different ' spnitme-litfr.
The mules were served by the1, bride
groom and lus male relatives, 'tm.il.. tjie
females by the bride alia her mothr-liif
law, assisted by servant. Tl.i bQ
sexes rarely sit down at tlie same tAule.
Marriage is very common among tlia
Chinese. Ybtl hardly ever come across
a girl of HI or 1ft who Is hot tied1 down
to some man. If a ' woman commits
adultiy after marriage she is decapitated
under the law; .Tlie man, hitwever, !M
allowed to keep as many concubine as
lie en n siiDiKirt, their, children being a
the wife. II the eoncuiiines jivit
under the same risif they are inert)
servants of the wife. Soino rich married
men keep concubines in separate apart
ments. Such Hisitions- are eageiy
sought by damsels of Tory fair' jiar
(ntiige. . '' .' 'y A
77. --TTV.:. -I
In manuring fruit-trees or grapevines
the manure should not, as It Is tod
frequently, lie piled in a heap immedi-i
utely round the base of the tree. Here
is where it will do the least good, as the
roots near the trunk of the tree uru
large. The nsits which will tuke up
the 'fertilizing mutter and carry it into
the tree are the small, fibrous ones,
really the feeders, and situated farthest
(mm the trunk.'' As these roots extend,'
as a rule, under ; an area of ground
equal to that covered by the top of: tlw
tree, tlie mannm Slioum he spread oyer
at least an equal surface.' ' In order' to
have the bettor effecf it should 'be
thoroughly spoiled In. " If sick Jy: and
apparently dying, tree he' given ' ttiis
treatment it will rarely fail to restore
tliein to new life aud vigur. -Trees need
a Mitral supply of food, nd unhs it i
given to them they cannot l exjiected
to grow and bear, either iti qiiunlily,
or quality, such fruit as will an orchard,
which receives projK'r attention. ; , '.r
A lady of this city recently filled her
lamp with gasoline and since then slta
has not benxine. Philadelphia Call.