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About St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current | View Entire Issue (Nov. 3, 1922)
1 'WHEN MR. SlMPKINS LAUGHED or Oouraa He Was Henpecked, He Made No Contribution to Train Robber. but Slmpktas was henpecked. Mrs, Slmpklm "wore the trousers," spnnkod 'Iho children and paid the prenchcr. Neighbor Smith was quite another oort of person. In his domicile, Smith was lord and master, and ho got away with It, too. It was n pet Joko of his to refer to his friend Hlmpklns as Mrs. Slmpklns' huslmnd." A browbeaten, subdued wife Invar! bl comes In for general sympathy, tut scorn and derision Is over tho un happy lot of the poor, henpecked huh by. Ilowover, every dog hath his day, And Slmpklns came at last. One day tho two families boarded the train for an excursion together, When a few miles on their Journey tho passengers were stnrtled by tho nhorp command: "Hands up I" Tw masked bandits stood at the rear of tho coach. "Passengers will Mo past us and hand over their pockethooks," directed a gruff voice behind one of the monks, Bmlth's otherwlso nggresslvo fare went cray. Women fainted and llttl children began to cry. When all wns over Smith looked a Slmpklns. Slmpklns the shrinking! Slmpklns the despicable, strange to ay, was as cool and calm us llnllln land bay In Junuory, And hu actual ly smiled. "Heavens I Whnt nrn you grinning ftboutr demanded Smith In n thick voice. "Man. I'vo lost JfiOOI" "I'm eut 11.05 and it stamp hook," aid Slmnklus. "You see. tho wlfo had onr roll In her stocking." I'rlto Story In Judgo. FAMOUS IN IRISH HISTORY Ntna Roderick Gometlmei Referred To as the Laet of the Mon arch ef the Island. Rery O'Connor bears a nnino fn moils In Irish history. Ills in out noted nsmesako was king of Ireland. When he became king of Comimndit In llfiO one of his first acts wuv to put out the eyes of one of his brothers as a sure means of preventing him from becoming n rival, In 1100 ho went to Dublin, gavo tho Danes, who wero In yoiiesslon, 4,000 cows, and was them Inaugurated king of all Ireland, ceremony which wns the llrst Irish regal pageant of which tho city wns the scene. Killers wero plartnl over various counties ami provinces, nnd ome of these wero fur from popular. The peoplo of Month deposed their klur, for which affront O'Connor ro clvl compensation of 210 cows. Htnry II of Knglaud visited I ro und In 1171, nnd O'Connor's terrl twr becamn dliputed, but after treaty concluded at Windsor ho was left to rulo Counatight us before tho Kugllsh Invasion, and wus to ho head under Henry of thn kings nnd chiefs f Ireland. Ho wus to acknowledge Ilenry as his liege lord and to pay lilai an annual tribute of hides,' fight Ini with Hoary and with hi sous con tinned until Roderick's deuth In tho ahbev ef Ong. County (lalwny. Ho Is commonly spoken of as tho last mi tive king of Ireliiud, hut this illHttnc tlou belongs rather to Maelsechlulnu I, a Roderick's title to rule thn whole litoml was no better tliiiu that of Heiiry II both resting on force alone, Detroit Now. QrM In New York Streets. It Is literally true (hut grasi Is growing In scores of Manhattan's street. The crop Is especially green on streets running off Klvorsldo drive. The practice of waterlog them dally by tho street cleaning department krnpu the grass fresh and hearty. Many 4 these streets are foiiiparutlvely atrep uiiil nrn paved with blocks In stead of cemunt. The irnllle Is not heavy enough to wear It down. The seed from which this crop of Krass springs Is spilled from tho uom bags of horse drawing milk wag")) and other vehtclei that wult In tluwtu trerts whllu their Mtiiplloi urn lielng dUtrlbuted. Thu dully sprinkling help them to sprout quickly uiul dovelup rapidly. Unpopular Cngllih Statesman. Apropos of the death of hr WHIInin Marcourt, who had long outlived Hie Interne unpopularity of hi early jr, Sir David Hunter lllalr kiiys that at the time of hi passing It seemed altaoit legendury to rtx-nll how three member of purllament hud ouco resolved to luvtte to dinner tho hull .vidua) they tlltllked mot In tho weriJ. Cover were laid for U but aly en gunst turned up Sir William Yerneu Hareourt, who hud been lit. lltd by all three. Cuban Honor DrItUh Admual. Word come from Sautlugo do Cuba that posthumou honor wwro paid there In tlio form of a lust and a tub let t Mr Lauipton Lorrulne, HrltUh rear admiral, who lu 1NTU I credited with having avertud wur between tho United Stulea aud Spain by threuvvu tsg to ilieh Sautlago If tho Spanish KUthorltlea executed uuy nioro of tho raw aud paMttuier of the Virginia, vaptured while rutinlng arms uud vol' untevrs to the Cubans In tho Ton Years' war. Has Important Minion. MaJ. Ia'oii Krszer of New Vork, 1 ftlng on ii u Kuropeuu tour In behalf f the veteran' bureau, to mako a survey of foreign beneficiaries of tho government' wur-vouipeuutton law. XI I also to complete urruuKomontH vtth European nation for reciprocal ttMtiueut by th allied governiueutB, of disabled veteran. DIDN'T HAVE TO ASK FOR IT Simple Matter of Finance by Which Frederick Became Possessed of All-Day Sucker. Frederick has not yet learned the addition nnd multiplication tables, but bo has reached such an understand trig of finance as a verb transitive that one wonders as to his future. "Here, Frederick, you bo mother's big man and take this empty milk bot tle to the grocery on the corner und bring back a full bottle of fresh milk for baby." "And I puy the money to the man, mumsloT "So, dear. You know how wo get It Homcllmes. Tho mnn will churgo It." "Haven't you got any pennies, mum slo?" "No, Frederick, mumslo hasn't any pennies for candy this time. Now ho cureful. That's a nice little mnn." Frederick returned safely with a bottle of best grade milk. AIbo, he had n line all-day sucker lu his mouth. "Why, Frederick I I hope you didn't ask the grocer to give you that can dy I" The sucker had to bo removed be fore the youngster could articulate. "No I wouldn't ask I paid for It." "I'aldl Whore did you get tho money?" "He give mo n nickel for the empty bottle and then I pay for the sucker, uud thenthou ho charge you for Uio now bottle milk." WHAT REAL VACATION MEANS Play Is the Foundation, and That Con sist of Doing Anything That I Not Work. A real vocation, If you can get one, consists of play, asserts Preston Slos hon In thu New York Independent, l'lay lu tho npMslte of work. I'lay Is whatever Is done for Its own sweet suke. If you build a lire to warm yourself or to cook u dinner you are at work. If you hulld u buullro because you like to see sparks redden against tho sable background of the night you uro ut play. If you dance to tmprovo your waistline or to learn a nuw step you urn working. If you danro becnuso you "Just can't make your feet behave" when tho orchestra stnrlH, you uru playing. If you go Hulling to catch llsh you are us much at work as If you wero building bridges or writing editorials to make money. If you go llshlng In tho true llNliennan'tf spirit you won't care much whether they bite or not. Thu vacation mind Is a law unto Itself. If It enjoys an occupation It keeps on while tho enjoyment lusts, thought every liber of tho tired body may he shouting "gult." If It ceases to enjoy an occupation It stops ut once, though It create con sternatlou all around. A real vacu tlou Is a trip Into a fairyland, where the unlives never heard of duties or obligations and the only law Is "Do what you really like." Cherry and Plum Tree. Can you poslthely distinguish be tween a cherry tree and u plum tree In the spring of tho year before, thu trees carry fruit? ion may think that you can, yet, so similar are some cherry aud plum trees that eventual ly you will surely fall unless you em pluy tho simple rule that trained hor tlculturlsts follow. That one lufall Iblu guide Is this: Tho leaves of thu cherry, both lu the hud und Just after emerging from the bud, are folded to gether like the pageti lu u book, while tluwui of thn plum urn rolled up like a uiagaxlne. And, by the wuy, tho leaves of tho peach are foldot like those of the cherry, and the leaves of the apricot am rolled like Hiomi of the plum. Well Supplied. Kmery hud tho whooping cough, uud It bad hung on fur u long tliuo. lu tho worst of it be had contracted a bad cold that added to hi discomfort. When bo hail Dually recovered from tho effects of that, ho wus onco mora allowed to play out of doors. One morning, us ho started out, hu commenced to imcogo, uud hi mother tucliiliued lu despair: "(), Kmery, you mve taken another cold," but did not keep him lu the house. Ho was swinging on tho front gute. us one of the neighbors went by, who hulled him with, "Hello, Kmery, How lire you this inuriilng pretty well?" Kmery answered ; "No, sir; I've got two colds aud tho whooping cough." Protect From Corrosion, Drowning clectrotytlcully I th method of protecting ulumluum and aluminum alloys from corrosion pro posed by 1.. vou Urotthcrs. The elec trolyte consists of a sulphur com pound of molybdenum, and the metal to bo protected Is suspended In this solution with a zinc unode ut u tem perature of CO to 03 degrees O. Tho dark brown coutlng soou developed Is uot cracked by bonding or rolling the metal. Tho ulumluum articles coated lu this way are stated to have been free from corrosion even after Immersion lu salt solution for twe mouths. JiUBEHS-JtOaUHS, Lo AnQeles Qet It Aqueduct. lxs Augeles' uuueduct, which was recently completed, is iWS miles lu length. It wus built by tho cltj of Los Angeles within the estimated cost of JSI.IXXUXW, and within the time limit allowed. It couslsts of M miles of tunnel, 12 miles of steel siphon, 00 miles of open ditch, and 101 miles of covered concrete Hume, Its capacity U 'J00.0O0.OO0 gallon a day. HAZEL EICHELBERGER Teacher of Piano Phone Empire 171 1687 ClarendenSt. Near Portsmouth Ave. Typewriter ribbons for buIo nt this oflleo Oliver, Underwood, Snnlli uud Homiiib'ton. Ktjeh 75 oentH, You can do bettor aud more prcseutnble work with n now ribbou, T. L. PERKINS for City Commissioner ! '""iliM Mr. Perkins lins been successful in holding Public office. lie lias been tried and proven. He served as City Commissioner in 1918, filling Mayor Maker's unexpired term. He has n clean record. If elected be will follow the same conserva tive policy that bis past record in dicates, in 1913, he was Chairman of the Wnys and Means Committee and was instrumental in enacting some of Oregon's most constructive legislation, Mr. Perkins has lived m Oregon for over forty years and it a Spanish American War Veteran. For a Ilusincss Administration, Kconomy and Good Government Klect Perkins. Vote 97 X f (Paid Adv. by T. L. Perkins Campaign Committee.) Service Counts- on your Winter Journey to California Observation Cars with comfortable chnirs, wide windows nnd broad rear platforms, Through Sleeping Cars with latest travel luxuries, Uucxellcd Dining Car cuisine, nnd picturesque scenery will add to the pleasure of your journey. Through Standard Sleeping Cars Via thu Scenic Shnstn Route to San Francisco and Los Angeles Southern Pacific Lines lfor I.ow Round Trip Fares, .sleeping car reservations, train schedules or picture books, Inquire of agents, or communicate with JOHN M. SCOTT, General Passenger Agent Portland, Oregon. Oregon Congressmen Should Be Elected Oregon's Congressional delegation, consisting of Representa tives V. C. Hnwley (First District), Nicholas J. Slunott (Second District), and C. N. McArthur (Third District) is generally re garded as the strongest and influential delegation in Congress. Mr. Unwley is ranking member of the Ways and Menus Committee; Mr. Siuuott is chairman oi the Public Lands Com mittee; Mr. McArthur is a ranking member of the Naval Affairs Committee. They are nil experienced, cajwble and industrious legislators. The Stute of Oregon will do well to re-elect those three men on November 7th nnd thereby continue Oregon's high prestige in the House of Representatives. I'ald Adv., by Republican .State Central Committee, Imperial Hotel, i'oitlumi, Oregon, VOTE Re-Elect ELTON WAIN FOR REPRESENTATIVE IN CONGRESS Stands for Soldier's Bonus and Against C. N. McArthur's Do-nothing Record. Ballot No. 15 Paid Adv. BIGELOW CITY COMMISSIONER If re elected, I will coutinue my record of .strict economy, efficiency, clean government and fairness to All. BALLOT NO. 95 paid ndv Battery The best reason we can give you for liavlng your battery looked to be fore you start to tour it that it's just plain common sense. A good deal the same as taking along a spare tire, or an extra set of spark plugs, or a couple of headlight bulbs. If It's right we'll say so. If it isn't well do what's necessary to bring It up to the mark. Whether it's a Wlllord or not It will be given the benefit of Wtllard Standards of Battery Service. St. Johns Auto Electric Co. Empire 0088 317 S. Jersey St. Representing the 1 1 BATTERY 1 Willard r The laW Bridge Emergency The people of Multnomah county are con fronted with the serious problem of traffic con gestion and loss of the present bridges span ning the Willamette. Four years ago 36,000 vehicles crossed our bridges daily, while now 67,000 vehicles cross each day and our bridges are rapidly becom ing useless under the very heavy and rapidly increasing traffic they were not designed to meet. We Must Have New Bridges Over two years will elapse before new bridges can be built if approved at the com ing election. What will the increasing prob lem of traffic mean at that time? Owing to it's central and natural location, the Burnslde Bridge must be rebuilt. The old bridge has about outlived its usefulness and we must rebuild our most used, and con trally located bridge. The new bridge is ninety feet in width, with sufficient height and ample approaches, and is designed to meet our great problem of traffic congestion. Think WHAT THIS BRIDGE MEANS TO You Vote For The Burnside Bridge Paid Adv. 4 i Portland Manufacturing Co. ii -MANUFACTURERS OF- i Panels, Berry Boxes, Coffee Drums, Ex-1 celsior Grape Boxes, Egg Case Stock, 5 and all kinds of Veneer FACTORY, FOOT OF RICHMOND STREET GEORGE TAZWELL FOR Circuit Judge, Dep't No. 7 Incumbent I'd, Adv. GEO. R. FUNK Auditor of the City of Portland Asks the People for a Sec ond Term of his Record A Vote for Funk is a Vote for Continued Economi cal and Efficient Service. Ballot No. 85 X raid Adv. One hundred first class envel opes with your name ana ad dress neatly printed on the cor ner for one dollar at the Kevtew oflice. Additional 100 for 75c ho nostothce department ad. ises the use of printed return envelopes. Qatton Ranch Qairy Buy Pure Milk Direct From The Farm The Dairy is under strict supervision of the City Health Department and the Cows are tested for tuberculosis every six months. Phone Col. 321 for orders St. Johns Lumber Co. Wholesale and Retail Foot of Burlington St. Empire 0631 C 1101 Cooking Utensils CLEAN For quick results on all metal ware use SAPOLIO Clians Sceurs PeHsbM Large cake No waste HtWutam fck Mjryu'i Sui C. , Krw Twk, U. S. A.