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About St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current | View Entire Issue (Aug. 29, 1913)
WHIMSICAL WILLS Human Nature as Shown In Queer Requests and Bequests. FEAR OF PREMATURE BURIAL Thtt Dread Has Often Boon tha Cauia of Curious Provision In Last Testa ments The Grave of a Man Who Disliked the Society of Women. Tlie remnrknblo will of n mnn wlio died not lone jiro dlrocllnc the under taker to fltnb him through tho liotirt nftcr ho hnd been pronounced dead bjr his physlclnu In not n unique ona. The fenr of bolnj; burled nllvu hns driven many n mnn to nllpulnto In Ills will thnt oxtrnordlnnry Meps bo tnltcn to mnko Buro of denth. Thus, for Instnnco, n nwKiinte of. Plymouth, Hnglnnri, decreed by lili will that his wlfo should Cut off one nf his toes or finger to make sure In wns dead, nddlnK Hint he mndo llic request so thnt "ns sho hnl been tron bled with one old fool sho will not think of mnrrylnt n second." Tho will of Lord r.ytton contained special directions ns lo tin- xniiiliin tlon of his body In order to provide Secrets of the Craft. 1. Rldo remarks by dlKtliitnilslied nit tli or while cotoposliiR tho novel of tin decade: (n) "i-'or httwon'a Bake, .Mary, enn't you stop thnt child crying without sinning nt the top of your voice? How Is u man to j-et anywhere with nil that nolso (,'olnB on V" (b "Yes, yes, yes, taku the paste, tnko tho Mhcurs, take the paper, take the Ink, tnko the stamps, take any thing, but let me work In pence!" (c) "Oh, If you say no I suppoxe we must pay that fool rati, hut 1 do wish you'd remember that every minute tnken out of my working day cuts down our lncomu by Just so much!" II. From the dcdlcnUon page of the completed novel of the decade: To MT WICK. MAItT, without whoso Ko'iMo Innplrntlun, true companionship anil constant help fulncftn tlifno hikcs would nevor havo beou wrlttrn, I Kinlc- fully limorlba (Ills book. Arthur (lultermun In Life Indians' Poisoned Arrows,. The arrow poison used by the Indian of Colombia has been found to be tlm secretion of the skin of it small frog The arrows are eight Inch palm -plii' -. which arc shot from u blowguu about fourteen feet long, and the hunter tar rles tho frog along In a hollow bamboo In order that he may have the pol. n In n fresh condition. A simple pi 1 k of the skin yields the poison drop ulu .i needed. When one of tho arrows en tors the body of even a Inrgo nuliuat such iim a Jaguar, monkey or deer paralysis quickly follows and the l tlm Is then enslly killed. The use of tho poison, It Is snld, does not nlTcit the llesh of the iiiiliiinN killed, wlil'h ! quite harmless when eaten. Two I'rciu li uaturallstH have mudo experiments with tho edible frog, Itauii csculeiitu, showing that Iti skin exudes a similar polxou when Irritated mid that an ex tract prepared from the skill gives In guinea pigs the same symptom as In oculutlon with the urrow poison. -Chi cugo Tribune. Drunken Monkeys. According to a letter from the Kongo region on the west const of Africa, the monkeys there are Inordinately fund of a kind of beer made by the natives. who list the beverage to capture their noor relations. 1 In vIiilt nlneed iniiiull- ngalnst tho possibility of tils Mug (IPm of the beer where the nionkeys can burled whllo In n trance, wiiim np nt i ,i10 ,miv,.M unit until their penred to bo an Apprehension of his. A farmer of Hertfordshire. Ilnglnnd who died In 1720, wns so cerlnln Hint his Icthnl slumber wns In be not refill denth. thnt he Inserted In his will liH written wish thnt. "ns ho wns nhout to tnko n thirty years' nap, his coffin might bo nuspcuded from n beam In his barn nuil by no means nailed down." Fie. however, permitted It -to victims nro In various degrees of Inebri ation, and when they then mingle with them the poor creature are loo much fuddled lo recognize the dllTereiire be tween negro mid ape. When it negro takes the hand of one of them to lead lilm off, Homo other fond creature clings In the hand of (he latter one mid an other ono to his hand. Thus a single The Way Dack To It. "Why do you call your wife Pcngy?" "It's u long story." "It must bu. Peggy Is supposed lo be short for Margaret, though I could never see why. lint your wife's inline Is I'ellcln. How do you get It?" "Well, you see, It's like this. ppgg. Is short for a nickname I Invented fur her, I got In the habit of culling her Pcgusa." "Hut whyr "Pegasn Is the feminine of Pegasus" "Yes, but"- "Aud Pegasus was nn Immortal sfeed." "I know that. Hut what has your wlfo got to do with It'" "Well, nil Immortnl steed Is In plain terms nn undying horse. And an un dying horse Is an everlasting nag Now do you see?" Ho saw nuil Hympalhlxcd approprl iiittrro miiv MfitiiitlliniMi In. mi.i.ii i.iirrt'lni . . , . . . - . . I I I - . - - . . I . 1 ' ' ihj IOCKCO, proviueu n mm noro iih.h- ()(r Klrk. f (w,r, monkeys in uio sine. inroiiKii wnini ine aey ... M.lrnl I r Is n.ltnliiUt,.n.t might bo pushed, so Hint he might let ... -..,- Hitltf MimniUleM. mo thnt ihev ntely.-Clevelnnd Plain liuiiler. a. I S i I. . 1 . tfl- I " " I iiiiiisuii oui xtimn mi- mv inuy only gradually iiwukeit to the sad nephew, who liiherlled the property. of pr MI,rm Umhm Tli-lllts. oucycu ins mum nun inn inn miry in" coflln till 17." 1, nllowlng him nn extra yenr of grnce. Tho Rleur I to by, who died In 181,, at tho ngo of ninety-six. ssld In his will "Right nnd forty hours ufler my de con so I desire that a post mortem ex nmlnatlon N) made, that my heart be taken out and placed In an urn. which shall be Intrusted lo M. Ilnudoln (the imdcrlnkcr). In conformity with an nrrntigcmont between him and myself my henrt Is to be conveyed to n mausoleum In the duparlmcnt of I ji Mnyenno and there lo bo deposlled, ns n greed." ltobcrt, tho fnmoiiH Ivor I of Melleui nnd I.clceslcr, ono of the early cm sailers In (ho holy land, died In 1118 In tho obb-y of Prcniix, where hi body wns burled, but his heart was convoyed to the hospital at llrucklcy. then to bo preserved In mill. Isabella daughter nf lie Karl nf Pembroke, who died In 123H. ordered her heart to be sent In n sliver cup lo her brother. then abbot of Tewkesbury, lo be hurled thero Isifore tho high Hilar The henri of John llaliol, lord of Huruurd cus tie, who died In lUtR), was by his wld ow's desire Inclosed In nn Ivory cnskei richly oiiniueled with sliver. Hut nil these examples, strange ti they inny be, nro not especially re iiinrltnblo itiudiig the counties niiiii bcrs of curious wills which are record ed through many geuemlloiis. There Is, for example, the will of h rich old bachelor, who, liu-ciiMcd si what bu considered the iiltemplH of his fuuilly to put him miliar the yoke of matrlinoiiy, vented his spile on the wholu hex of women by naylng In his will: "1 beit tliut my execiilor will see that I mn hurled where there Is no woman Interred, either to the rl m lit or lo tho left of me. Hhould this not be practicable In the ordinary coiiroe ( things 1 direct that they piirciiHi three graves and bury me In thu mid din ono of tlio three, leavluic tho two others unoccupied." John Heed, giisllghter of III Waliiui Ktreet theater, PhlladelphlH. Illhsl that nose for forty-four yenrs '1'here I not oil record u single performiun'o il tho thenler at which he whs not pre cut. He uever nsplred lo appear ou I tie Mtago In his llfutliue. but he was not without Ids mule Ninlritlww. nnd before ho died ho contrived limeuloiM ly to mnko sure of nssumluic a Kliske MPearcan role after Ids dwtth A clausf in his will read: "My head Is to be sohi ruled from my body Immediately ufler my ileal li. the latter to bo burled In u grsve, tuv former, duly nineonited ami prered to bo brought to tlw t tiller, wliere I have served nil my lite, mid to be em liloyed to reiiresent the skull of Yorlelt itud to this end I Iopielh my heud l tho proH'i(."-New ork sun For Americnn Citizens When I he visitor niiproachtil tho diplomatic gnllery of the seiinle chain Isir tho doorkeeper Informed him. says n writer In the Philadelphia linger, iinssmoi(er proiesieti Dressed For the Occasion, "Hefore I lake this dress on," nald the woman In tin home dressmaker, "1 want to go Into the kitchen and reMd the riot act to Maria." "Oh, not with lids dress on!" the Hhe Is cook- that the gallery was reserved for for eign representatives. "It Is, hey?" said the visitor. "Well, I want to'tell you right now that litis Is n free country, nnd this Is lite sen ate of the United Wales, and I de mand ndmlsslon In the name of Amer lean citizenship." "Oh!" snld the doorkeeper, "Why didn't you say nt llrst that you wen nu American citizen? Just step around to tho second door from hen. That gallery Is reserved for American clll- xoiis," "With chest puffed up Ihe stranger U'tiMik himself to Ihe door Indicated nud wns at once ndmltled to the pub lic gallery. lug, and Ihe grease might pop"- "Cnii't belli If," the woinaii interrupt ed, ..inrlu nixils a lecture. Hhe has been needing It for some time, but I mini l uare ueiiver n Deciinse i iihiiii i good enough clothes to make It effec tive. Murla Is black and Judges tri ple by Hie clothes they wear. If I IihiI scolded In my shirt waist nnd skirt or even In my old blue afternoon dross Maria would havo scorned me. bill with nil ttds finery on I etui spek my Piece, and Maria will Is properly Im pressed, and maybe she will reforin."- Now York Times. Clever Rubinstein. The Italian tenor Mnrconl once made n visit to Iluhlnstelii, during which the A K Inn's Rebuke. tatter's little sou came tripping eager- The ipieeu of Wurttemherg was one ly Into tho music room and said, "This day walking in the stn-ets of Stuttgart ntlended hy n maid of honor, when she met a body of students who refused to iitako room for the ladles, nud thus comis'lled them to walk In the gutter Tin ipieen reported the mailer lo the Is my festa, papa, and 1 want a pres ent." "Very well, my son, what shall It be?" "A wall, papa, it new wnltx nil for myself, and now." "What nn Impatient Utile sun II Is!" exclaimed the gieiit musician. "Hut. of course, king, mid tho next day Ihe captain of yo,, Hmti .Vii your gift, lien It Is ... . i mo corps Miievia was summoned io the (Kilace. A servant ted him Into a room whent there were no chairs, and (here the unfortunate student laid to wait a full hour. At lust the king np pes red, and finally the young iiihii wns dismissed by him thus: "I cannot de maud that every student should know my wife, but I do deinnud Mutt the ciirpn Suevlu give place In the streets to ladles." The Finnerlete Glove. How curly did mankind think of tie convenience of the ilniierk gl.iv which modern babies. Ilsberuien ami Alplno cllmboro nppnvtale so rtaiiy We hear little of glove In nneittui times, mid Iti most eases It Is olnmi that they tuul nimers ThMe worn l thu secretary of the youimer I'l'uy used when be visited Vesuvius mi thai lie might keep on Jotting down notes In spite of thu cold, must have been Un gt-red no lets thun tlse of the glutteH lu Athunnctis who wore gloves at table no thnttio might handle the mMt while hut and get In advance of his Iwre luiuded follow dhiers. One of the ear lluht known wearers of u glove with uly a thumb Is nn Anglo Saxon Uuly I'.uown In Plnncho'a "HUtory of Hrltlsh Costume." Her glove exactly rctsmi bio a modern baby's. The Crawfish's Tall. The lull of a cntwllsh serves thai animal us mi our. Hy a 'peculiar Jerk of tho tall Ihe animal can retire from n dangerous object with ulnmst in credible swiftness. The lull Is much more effective In moving the milmnt backwunl than forward, a singular In stHiue of adaptation to lis situation, for by menus of Its lull It can with draw Into Its hole with such swiftness nit In un Instant to place It out of dan ger. On Himself. They had miurrchil again, "Perhaps you nre not itwitre." she snld, "that I had over it dozen pn posals of murrlaxe Isifore I accepted )ours." Ho Hushed. "And perhaps, niadain." he retorted haughtily, "you are not aware that I proposed to nearly twenty women s font I became HcpiHlutiil with your wlf." Two of a Kind. Wlgg-What Is more tiresome than a iivnii who Is always talking about what ho has done? Wagg A man who Is a. ways talking about what he U going to do. Philadelphia Hoconl. Listen! And for you," turning to the distinguished tenor, "I will play my Nero,'" "It seems Incredible," says Marconi, "but then and there I wit nested mid heard a most rciwirkMhlt phenomenon. The iniiestni linprovlod mid played n charming wait, with his left hand, giving me at tho smne time with Ids right the splendid mertiire" How Sound Waves Move. The speed with which sound wnves nre Irunsmltlcd through Ihe ntiuo-i phen depends on scvcml condition When the temperature Is at It'.' degree" I-'., sounds move with a speed of I.ikni feet per second, Ihe velocity lie reus lug wild Ihe temperature at Ihe rale f a I ion) one fisit of spcil per i-ih1 for each degree above Ihe fiverlng nliil Then, iigulii. Ill damn Mir wuiini moves with it greater velocity limn II does In dry air, no odds If the dry Mir Iw w.irm and the damn cold. In water s.tiad moves more limit four Huhh fast as It dois In air, or, say. at hImhK the rule of -1,700 feet per ucuil. His Prescription. Trn miv-I Jim dropped In lo olfer my cure for Indlgintlou and kindred all incuts, mum. It may prove u gnsil blessing to your family, mum, and I charge nothing for tin wecrlptloii Housekeeper--Well, I must say that's reasonable enough. What's the cure? Tniinp- IJve on plain fxl mid give your rich mid Indigestible dishes over lo the iHior. Put the mior, mum. Sun I'rnuclsco Chronicle. One Sure Cure, 'Jones seems to have sworn off for keeps. How did It liuppen?" "Ills wife hnd a moving plcttin mudo of his last Jag mid let him see It." -Judge. An Old Fashion, Porno people are hi old fashioned that they continue to visit their rela tives for tho purpose of having u good tlme.-CblciiBo lUvonHlorald. A Uitter Taunt. The oilier day nt cards two London ludlos quarreled long and anluously over a payment of the gigantic sum of lf shillings. At last the loser Hung the money down ou the table, saying, with concentrated venom, "There, that will liy for your next dinner party." In a Glass House. Tom loesu't your girl's father call you down for slaying so late? Jack- Well, no. You see, I generally meet htm at tho gate coming home from tho club. ltostou Transcript. My precept to all who build Is that the owner should Is nn ornniucnt to the house, and not tho noiuo to thu owncr.-Clrvni. Make Them Duy Tickets. Hoy Pnpn, who originated the molto Pay as you go?" Pather Some chap uw i ownei u ruiirotiii. mi i.ouisuioih- Democrat. Tho noblest question In tho world la, What good may I do in It? Fruukltn. Not the 8ame, "IV) you know, I heanl jour family doctor Is n dipsomaniac?" "No such thliig. He's an allopath." Hullluioro American. Central Market ! t Bungalow Store We have committed the flolden Hule to memory: now let us commit It to life. Murkhuin. REVIEW'S LEGAL BLANKS 20S S, Jersey Stroot See us for the Choicest Cuts of the Best Meats Obtainable. OrW. Dsi4 and Tamily Trad SoUclUd. T. P. WARD, Proprietor. 408 N. Jersey St. The following list of IorqI blanks arc kept for sale at this office ami others will be tuldeil as the demaud Groceries, Confectionery, Ice Cream nr warranty deeds, Quit Claim Fruit flrlarc Tnhnvn Fir Uels, Kealty and Chattel Alort- rruit, ugars, looaico, uc. ,.. fiaiicrneitm, nf n o . - " - - o r i Contracts for Sale of Kealty, Bills of Sale, Leases, All these blanks at the uniform rrr.ma tBrararaBBBBBBBBBE. m. tr 1 " m t . - ibb. wjit . t.bbbbbbbbbbs' -mm m w ba bbbbbbbbbbh bbbbbbbt- kbbbbi -t-" b liVl r. -ilr;' -.s .,..'- T . - son ifHfiipiirr q ! k BTPiWrCTmaglxaaacaraL I II IWl'l IIIWM1ILBHB 111 The usual line of Remnants in all :s of summer yardage goods follows e-Inventory Sale. These are marked eductions. Then there lines of hosiery at the that we will offer at saving wMkWim prices I Our Men's Tofrnv will continue v . fitsN' iiAr'm''--Ev muivz " mm making special prices on the odd lines of In the meantime, we are working on our inventory with a view to getting it finished so we, can get ready the best lines for fall we have yet shown. The Florsheim Shoes and Peck Clothing for fall are and will be here on display after September. We have placed in stock a large assortment of the Richardson Em broidery Patterns and shall endeavor to merit the patronage of the St. Johns' ladies on these at our Ladies' Store. BON HAM & CURRIER 1 id Call at tBic &pal Rights Co. and gel a copy of the Bonville 99-Year System By-Laws Which is the only solid foundation for a co-operative business. By get ting their prices and becoming a member of this corporation, you will not only be saving money on your living but you will be laying away some thing for a rainy day. The Equal Rights Co. have two stores incorpor ated under this system; one at 202 South Jersey street, St. Johns, and the other at 1001 Lombard street, Portland. 1 (Paid Advertisement) l 1 E. F. Moore, Prop. price of 30c per dozeu, 1