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About St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current | View Entire Issue (Aug. 22, 1913)
RIGHT HAND RULE. A' Buttered 'Book. How the Ilev. Mr. .lohnntou. n Scot- Itsh minister mid the nutlior of mi PLAYED A SHELL GAME. Tht Way It I. Applied In Driving and ncrom ,,,., Huceoeded In getting A Parliamentary Joke by . New South n Navigation. 0110 ,)f M worfcs rL.Tl0wcd by Alex- . oolon' London's drivers, sitting on (liu right nndcr ItiiHsel, the distinguished editor Atlstrnlln once hnd u grcnt public aldo of the driver's sent, turn to the r thu Scotsman. Is told by Iho writer "-' v,1'-" w" VWm openly In tho lcrt. Why? In order thnt looking of "I'ntnoos Kditorn." N'UW' Boul w"Im Htu't' imrllntnont b) down nt the right side of thu vehicle A member of .Mr. .Johnston's emigre- a mrniuor who nftnrward became ut they may entice to n frnctlon of mi ration was nn old nnd vnlnod scrvitnt "'"') gonerm. Inch Mm httlis of n vehicle meeting In Mr. ItusHel's fnmllv. When the A bill Imtl been Introduced to pro them. In the United Stntes the driver prenchor published bis new book he -''' "v'-' 'lowers from ruthless di itlll preserves the right sldo of the naked this member to bring It under utrtictloii. The honornblo member up- ent nnd In turning to tho right of the the notice of her master, with the re rose nnti Bympntiiir.od. He informed roadway has tho least knowledge of quest to review It In tho columns of t"o Introducer of tho blll-a somewhat whero his hubs may be In passing. tho Scotsman. Hind to bo of service pompous goiuieiuuii-iiini ne nourtiiy Hut In Ititomntlonal navigation the to her master, the good woman lost uiipnivcu. nui ny mesu iimuions right hand rules always obtain. It Is no time In making her wish Known to uiuiicuonn; iiie uni proieciou aim ino eoionrnipu eunnr mm ne.M morn- i - miui n uuuum-iii niuuu mi Ing ulnced "Tho flospol ltoll" besldo tlio bill. his breakfast cup. Hut why wcro other flowers cuunlly When at breakfast Mr. HmmkjI took dcHcrvlng neglected? Why wcro-nnd up thu bonk and remarked, with n hero ho reeled off n long list of the merry twinkle In bis eye, "Helen, this hut In nnmes for cockles, mussels, oys Is nn awful dry roll whlch you have tors, etc. why were Iheso sweet How crs to bo blighted In their bloom by ny prowling oxeur something In Ills thu narrow channel winding Into a port where the extremest of emphasis is laid upon the vessel keeping to star board, no matter how many crooks anil turns nnd loops the channel may make This was Illustrated In n collision on thu Whnngpoo river. In China, when n, Pnkln and the N'ormandlu collided K,vp n,c thlM niornlnj,'." crs to bo blighted li Tho nan lie wdi "Pnlmtm It Is, sir," tho servant being plucked by nn; Tho Nor nan.iie was s quickly replied, "but you can butler slonlst who wanted stream, keeping to starb nr d. J e ,'t WC(!? oll ',,, buttonhole? Pekln was ascending tho ehannel. keeping to Its starboard. At a sharp nrilcnrc(, turn In the channel tho two boats Next morning nn excellent review collided. Tho Pekln'n master declared that owing to the sharp bend In the river It was n "crossing" case. In which the Normandlc was to blame. In the house of lords, however, It Conkllng and Thurman. Senator Itimooo Conkllng was once addressing tho senate In mi Impus-dou- ed mniiner nnd seemed to direct bis remarks to Senator Thurman. At was held that tho right of any channel iiKt li tho latter got Irritated. of any degree of sinuosity lay at tin. "Hoes the senator from New Vork." right of the channel's center; that. he roared, "ex wet mo to answer him therefore, when the Pckln failed to every time he turns to mo?" ohMcrvo tho rule In tho sharp bend and For a moment Mr. Conkllng lio-dtnt- "cut across" It became an offender ed, and everybody expected a terrllle against thu law and must pay ilmn explosion. Then, with an nlr of ex Tho Introducer of tho bill promptly offered to extend thu list to Include Iheso. So half thu Hliollflx.li on the coast, Including thu periwinkle, were lidded lo the flowers worthy of protec tion. The olllclnls of tho house discovered tho hoax next day mid sot It right. Hut the Jo tte was too good to bo kept quiet, mid nil Australia chuckled nt tho expense of tfio pompous legislator London Answers. Kch. Chicago Tribune. EYE OF THE CAMERA. The Picture It Drought From Out a Dark Ckvern. Dr. Francis Chirk told nn Interesting qulslto courtesy, ho replied: "When I speak of the law 1 turn to the senator from Ohio as the Miissul man turns toward Mecca. I turn In him ns I do to the Kngllsh common law as the world's most copious foilii tain of human Jurisprudence." DON'T MINDBIG NOISES. Out 8llght, Ruitllng 8oundi Make CI raffei Tremble With Pear. Among thu curious characteristics of tho giraffe Is Its xiraugu IndlfTcrcuct' to loud nolsi's ns contrasted with Us peculiar "senrlness" with reference tr The usually decorous senate broke slight sounds. Noisy sounds, like that story of n youth living In .Maine who Mrm of upplause, and the of u man walking near In hobunlleil was out In tho woods onu day taking Thurman eyo moistened n little. The photographs of nttnicllvo bits of seen- two statesmen were the best of cry. lie camo upon thu mouth of a lit- friends anil greatly enjoyed each nth- (lo cavern between the rocks, and he orH society when "off duty." nnld to himself. "I will see what sort of picture I can cet out of that enve," nnd as It was it dark day he doclib ti I to lake a "I lino exposure" In stead of a "snapshot." Steadying the boots, Iho glralTu does not appear to notice, but should It bo approached by a woman whine skirts glvu out but the slightest ruslle tho sound thereof enuses the giraffe to start up with pricked ears mid eyes distended In A Wetter If Not a rjittir Man. A little mail III the west nf Kn eland f,,'U. rushed to the river last suininer. swear- Olllclnls of n xnotoglcnl lustllutlon lug loudly that bo would drown film situated near a canal, tell of a curious camera upon his knee as well as he self. When ho had wailed In to luslaiico of this peculiarity of giraffe- could at the edge of the cave, bo gave the depth of his waist bis wife, who After a terrible explosion of guiiHiw the sensitive tdato a long, deliberate had followed him. seized hliii by the der on n barge on the ciimil the keep look at iho suinldarkness within. Then linlr. and Ilmn. as a local editor de ts were astonished lo nhcrve that he continued his (ramp through the tori bed It, she led him back till he Hie giraffes took little notice of the woods and lifter a fow hours returned reached u place where Iho water was In minus blast. They Jumped to to his camii. about two feet deep, wbero she nulled M1"'''" liunt at once iny Several weeks afterward, when de- him over buck wind and souxed him down again when they found that vi-lnnlm Ids nlaios. vou can Imagine under mul pulled bis head up again, nothing extraordinary had happened his astonishment to see In thu picture. 'Drown yourself (down ho went). In Ihelr Inclosure. Hut were n keeper in el... v,.rv reiser nl the cavern, with leaving mo to father the brats! (An- at night lo creep along outside that arched back mid bristling fur and I ol,1('r Pbince.t 't drunk (another Inclosure In his slocking feel the queer within mirlliulllL' ilUln licit nf t 111 Nihil SOUSCI IIIIH Slliri 101' till IIVITI (.Ml- 1101111 WOUIII 0X1111111 SUCH ICITOr Willi ....... - . .. . . . ,... .......... I.. I i.i I. ...... I.... .1. I , ... uiiiri iui.i m-u.-r iii7 iiiu itmri in- i iiiiu niiuiii iiiiiiiui- iiii-ui iiihmii mi mir-ii stead of rum! (Another dip nnd shako themselves In terror against the fences of the head.) I'll I'arn ye to Icmo me (Jlnin'et fear the lurking foe, and a a widow!" After so..IIng him to her big bang si-ares them hardly at all. To hearts content she led him out u them tho faint, rustling sound Is a to welter If not u better man and escort- uen of tho greatest danger. In that el him Into thu house mid cloned Iho respect they are like deer. New York where ho had balanced Ids camera, a huge Canada lynx tlsit might easily have destroyed bis life. And yet be camo and went and saw no signs of danger, Christian Herald. m vm m The usual line of Remnants in all summer yardage goods follows Inventory Sale. These are marked at reasonable reductions. Then there remains a few lines of hosiery at the Ladies' Store that we will offer at saving prices. Our Men's Toggery will continue making special prices on the odd lines of shoes and underwear. In the meantime, we are working on our inventory with a view to getting it finished so we can get ready the best lines for fall we have yet shown. The Plorsheim Shoes and Peck Clothing for fall are and will be here on display after September. We have placed in stock a large assortment of the Richardson Em broidery Patterns and shall endeavor to merit the patronage of the St. Johns' ladies on these at our Ladies' Store. Proving a Statement. A certain milliliter, who Is an em phatic preacher, Is at times at n loss to glvo bis utterance proper weight. Tor Instance, he'll miy: "This Htnteiueut Is lis true ns Is the night whleh will follow day." or "as true nn that tho trees will bud In spring." Sometimes It happens that the doe tor has more utateuii'iits than ho bus Illustrations to glvo ilium weight. On one such occhsIoii he remarked. "This door. I'ross. The Oor'dlan Knot. The famous (loidlau l.uol was made of leather taken from soino part of the harness bvlonglug to the chariot of Oordlus, king of I'hrygla. It seems that this knot was mi lied that the ends of tho leather lining were not vis ible, heueo the dllllculty In loosening It. .Many mint have tried to untie It, for lis fame as a "sth-ker at last Many Tblnge Different In Heiland, Holland Is to mo onu of tho most In teresting countries In ICuroc. writes George It. Sims. Apart from thu ex citement of having to do a bit of Itloiidlii, with the edge of a canal for your tight rope, at Intervals of a few minutes all day long, the Dutch them selves furnish you never ending study. I lovo to see Iho little Dutch boy of rMi.lu.l (hi, fi-,Mit .iriii.li, u'Mi.li iliu-tur a... ',.. ..(...... i, ,. ..... .... ... Is as true as the"- Hero the doctor ed that tho lucky experimenter should """ "ji ins nn, pipe ur ins iiMir be rewarded by the kingship of l'-r ", ." m...i. .In. Ali.ciimtr. Irvlnt? Ids liniiil noil "'To " siiiiieuiiiiu ill "iiio novel mm meeting wllh no better sum tliMii lrlllnlt In Uudlng Dutch choose and Iho others, drew his sword and cut n !") phinsl In front of every Into the knot until he found the ends K"' " i"'aK nsi mine, in m f it iiiuti wueio u puiiuv company is h - i ........ . . Jiiiaiseuappij aim nearly every annuo balled. I lo wuss a few iiiomeiils. nnd then his face Illumined- "ns true its Is tho statement that hoiiio member is yet on his or her way to church." A few momoutH later u lady entered thu I'dlllco and wopt grandly up the altle. Thu doctor's face assumed an "1 told you so" appearance. Tho con gregation ts-gaii to smile, then to laugh. Sympathy for the embarrassed Indy, however, soon subdued thu up paruutly uucoiitrollablo inlrtli. BONHASVI & CURRIER I THE SULZER IMPEACHMENT Right to the Point. of rcstnunitlou announces that the Whe loJ chief justice visited UlV't'r ol.tnlii "Tap- Ireland he was oftin entertained by I " 1 ' " n hospitable gentleman who had an old ways something to aiuuso you. The Parrote of Mexico. What thu wild pigeon nine was In point of number tu the United States the parrot, of varying shade, of color end all xlt.tt. Is to old Mexico. I'llghts af I bono birds frequently darken tho midday sun In the hot country, mid they bivomu ho tame 11 round the enius of engluci'i-s that the birds are given ludlvldual iiainus and soon become reg ular pets. Whenever the parrots do- butler, who took the privilege of speak lug his mind freely. On one m'easlou the claret did not quite meet the host's approval, so he called tho ancient but ler nnd said: "I told you you were to put the best claret on the table. Is this tho host?" 'No. sorr. It Is not the best claret." Oath of the Turkiih Doctor, The oath which young diictnrs tnke III Turkey when they come before the uicdlctil examining board contains the following pledge; "That when I am called at the minio lime by two differ cut patients, tho one rich ami the other replied the old fellow, "but It's tlio I lM,"' I will accept tho call of the poor Itest ye'vo got."-l.ondon Tll-lllts. wttiiout taking Into consideration the money oueieti nun win no my ncn (or K.w H w.. wr.i,in. ireaiiueui, nnu unit l win never ue "In Paris Mr. WhUtler and an Hug V"w 10 iiwor any call, nay or niglit. Hull luihilkir twit lulu ti viiri1 I tirliiilitnt during the relgu of common diseases ....... .1... I ..u..i.t .... .I... I ' . ..... ... I . , "." .... uri,,.,. liiit V. ii.iiiii.ix nt ii Mtml n a" iinueiniL' 01 loiiuigiuiis ill . . II.. at t... " t....., .i......... I liitiuiiii in me ukii nwii ui iiiu jiiii- B.i .. .,r(u, "Mi. U'liUHer nt ease. gle tho uutlviM rvcuHiilM their actions Ml( , IirKUnum, in,Uw, ,,,! as fcure wuruiug or an impeiiiiiuK ,.XirHriiBtuiitly. Tho KiiglUhman. eurtbijunke. Auiorlnin onglneors In dome thU belief Hud assert tlmt ie rlous aecldvutri whleli might have been averted have nw-ultisl when tho warn ing of th birds was iiuted, but nn-heeded. llstoulug. sneeivd and wild at the end- "'It's a good thing wo can't see our sol mm as others M0 us.' '"Isn't It, thoughf said .Mr. Whistler. 'I know In my nine I should nww In tolerably conceited.' " A Line on Mother. "I don't mu how I'm ever to net a elm iho again with this Iwy uround " walled (ho 1 It t lo widow with tho mnall sou. "Thu other day a own I like Theology and the Thermometer, A point of theology Is roUod by Sit I'rHiM'U Yoiiuiihuslsiud In "India, mid Tllwt." "An lulertwtlng dotall." he Hays, spiMklng of tho religion of tho Keeping Hie Word, "Henry, you owo inu W. You remem ber Hint bet you made mo last week that you wouldn't smoko any more for . month Well, I saw you walking down tho street Inst night smoking a ilg cigar." "I'm uot amoklug any more; I'm simply smoking tho usual amount." Kxchnuge. awfully well asked mo bow old the uallviM, "Is (hut Ihelr hell U not hot, town was that wo came from. The boy poku up without giving mo u c banco to put In a word: '"I don't know Just how old It Is,' he said, 'but It mint l protty old be ta iibo umtuiuH wuh boru In It. "New York Press. trut cold. If It were hot the Inhabit- Out of Place, Aunt Prisms 1 am shocked nt you. Maude. You ormltted young Mr. Jones to kiss you. .Mamie-He only nins m inueu nuei wouiil an smi i,,,, tniiehwl in.. .... tl... n.intl.. IHflV. I .ii,,, lrUiiiall ii.ii .mil.. ....... ... .n 1M,,,' 1'... ... place, my dear. Maude-Ho knew It was, nutitlo. Hut you camo In so sud denly, you bi, Had HI. Hand Full. Judew Why dlihi't you solxo the thief when you found him? Pollconmii How could I? 1 had my club In one baud and my revolver lu tho other.'-Kllegonde lllatter. Clever Auntie, Truvolor It sinims wonderful thnt .luHtiue dentists can take out teeth with their tluguro. I.lttlo Jack Auutlo can tnko out hors with her flngers-overy ono of 'em! A Dleatter, Hostess-Mr. SiiulUa Is going to slug a ooinlv bong- Ouest I knew some thing would happeu. I Ui.M-t the tnlt t the dinner table. Stray Stories. Perfection. Perfection does not exist. To under Htaiul It is tho triumph of human In telligence; to donlre to possess It Is the most dangerous kind of madness. Al fred do M unset. Piehlng Luck. "Hnvo any luck on your flshlnit trip?" 'es. Counting thine that got away and those wo threw back, we almost pot seven." Detroit I'rve Press. Sin every day takes out a patent for nemo new Inveutlou. Whipple. Her Criticism. "I wlh Prlti would write his figures plainer. I can't iHsbly tell from his letter whether it Is l.l)0 or 10.000 kisses that he aeuds uio." Flksonde Hlattvr. REVIEW'S LEGAL BLANKS Til C BUngalOW StOfC The following list of legal llauks 408 N. Jersey St. are Kept tor sale at tins ollice ami others will be added as the deiniuid Warranty deeds. Quit claim Groceries, Confectionery, Ice Cream UUKes. Satisfiiotion of .Mortv-m-us. UKars TobaCCO, fctC. Coutrncts for Sale of Koalty, llills oi bale, l.ensos. Airtnetse DiatjKs nt the unirorin F F m- d- , nrice of ioc ncr dozen. ' h t" h rV10ors' rTop. NOTICE TO ADVERTISERS. In order to Iniure a change of ad vertisement the copy for uch change thould reach thle office not later than Wedneeday, at 3 o'clock p. ni. Pleaae remember this and save tho printer You get full weight ud flrat quality at tho Central market. Just try awullo. Statu attains in Nuw Yurie -uro sent a humiliiitinK Hpuutaclo. That Kiwit coimnonwoaltli is al most without a state Kovorn inunt. Tho doiully atrnjrKle between Governor Snlzor and Hoss Alur pliy has produced chaos, Ad ministrative funetiona are par alyxtid. Salaries are unpaid, through Murphy's ordor to his state controller not to pay them. There is no money for transport of prisoners, for similar reasons. The highway department is paralyzed for lack of men and funds. Tho prison department is powerless, though conditions at Sing Sing are frightful. Tho labor department is crippled, bo cause Murphy's legislature re fuses to confirm the governor's appointments. The governor's appointing power is practically reduced to the naming of his own stenogra pher and a few clerks. He is stripped by Murphy of his power of appointment, by the courso of tho legislature in remaining in session, or adjourning only for recesses, which has the same ettect as continuous session. The process keeps in oflice Mur phy proteges whom the governor could dismiss and supersede with interim appointments. No governor of any state was ever so completely nt bay. It is done by Murphy, who holds no ollice, who was never given any commission by the people of New York, who, in fact, has no visible means of support. Though without a solitary credential, he is for the time being exercising a greater power in governing the state of New York than is the legally elected governor. Mur phy delivers orders to the legis lature, and it obeys. He has or dained the destruction of the governor, and the legislature has brought impeachment pro ceedings. Though the people elected Sulzer governor and though the constitution directs that their choice shall be the stato executive, Murphy is in practical control, II in govern ment is government by an in visible power. Tho light is the light of tho people of New York ngainBt Tammany and tho Republican machine. It is the fight Hughes had to face. Dix was destroyed by the samo struggle. He cast his lot with Tammany.nnd, with tho sentiment against tho organ ization mounting. Murphy jet tisoned him at the last conven tion. After his inauguration Sulzor had to choose between Tnmmanv and tho unti-Tammuny sides.nnil he cast his lot with the inde pendents. It brought the wrath of the Barnes and Murphy hi partisan combine upon him. He refused to make Murphy appoint ments, and Murphy declared that Sulzer would be out of ollice in six months. With implacable fury, the fight for his removal is now on. The Murphy charges against Sulzer are serious. Sulzer is ac cused of using campaign funds for speculating in Wall Street stocks. The charges are by brokers who ore angry because of legislation procured by Sulzer restricting their business. Sulzer denies part of the charges and offers explanation of others. Yet. in spite of his splendid fight for district primaries and clean government, Sulzer is un der a cloud. His adminsitra tion is compromised. Murphy's empire, above tho New York constitution, the New York peo ple and tho New York laws, has at the first onset fought the gov ernor to his knees. The above editorial, copied from the Oregon Daily Journal August 12, 1913, shows the de plorable conditions existing un der the present financial system, which makes possible a minority control. Under the Bonville 99 Year System these conditions would1 not be possible, because the control is vested in the ma jority. No ONE man rule ob-tains, I (Paid Advertisement) I I i v Pay your subscrlptloa.