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About St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current | View Entire Issue (Aug. 12, 1910)
Say, Where's That Pig?
If there U pie If ft In any comer of th
Northwrat we want It. W want a much
drrased pork aa w can poMlbljr BtU W wll
par M follow for produce. We nrer lake
off, eommlMlon. Ehlp by eipreut
Dressed Pork izMe
Dressed Veal,,.,,,""""' ' ioe
Tresh Ekr: 28a
Live Chlckcns-Ilcns i7e
sptlns chickens,.,,, .... 20c
Addre alt ahlpmrnt.
FRANK U SMITH MEAT CO.
"rightlne the Beef Truot"
, PORTLAND, OREGON
Dr. B. E. Wright
iiartrour teeth out and plate and brldra work
j'f. 11 u;'"to'iI,elron we (lnUh plaU
Cum) raw... 31.00
run..... .. $7.50
fiUrtl tllnrlm.. 50
11 EST METHODS
ralnleu Extraction Free when plate or brIJw
work la ordernl, Consultation Free. You cannot
mi "r painieaa worn anywhere, no matter
All Work fully Guaranteed for fifteen Yeera
Dr. B. E. Wright Co.
342 Washington St.,
Take car at depot and tranafer to Waahtneton St.
Clothet for the Boy.
An occasional ault In henvy pongee
It seen, ovon for tho boy of ten, and
thli. too. la eclf-trlmmed and finished
with tho strictest tailor offocta, bi a
first-class outing shirt (or a man
would bo. Tho waist which oldor boys
aro best ptoascd with has a contor box
plait and ono or moro pockot.
heavy loathcr bolt, with largo buckle
and a soft tlo, oftoc n Windsor, are
tho usual accompaniments to tucb
suits. Low, rolling collars aro prorl
dod for tho boy or nvo to soven, but
high turnover form la proforrod for
tho older boy, Harpers Daxar.
nut, Wrakl Wrurr. Wnlrrr Krea.
Relieved lly Murine lly Itenirily. Try
Murine l-or Your Kye Trouble. You Will
Like Murine. It Hootlie. Wo at Your
urursut. write ror i.ye iiookb. it.
Murine 1.7 iiemcuy .10., mucosa,
AaklliK Too Much,
"Kitty, you didn't tint nnvthln In
the contribution plate when the usher
"Well, he didn't have any change for
my nickel, mamma. Did you think 1
was solna- to Klve him all of It and go
without sum for a whole week?"
Ktirllier Tim Needed,
Aspirins Politician Oumbrldire, you
heard my speech last night. Now that
you have slept over It, tell' me frankly
what you think of the effort.
Trusted Friend To tell the truth
Hlckaby, I 1 slept under It you'll
nave 10 let me see trio manuscript
The (IrKdiilat'a I'oa I'aae,
"At that wedding last night." said
Mrs. Impaling, "the organist mado the
worst mistake I ever heard of. lie
played Meddlesome' wedding march
when the bridal party came In and the
murch from 'I.onergan' when they
passed out. Chicago Tribune.
A tie for Clairvoyant.
Visitor Can you read the nastf
Fortune Teller Certainly; that' my
Visitor Then I wish you'd tell mo
what It was my wife told mo to cot
for nor. toadies' Home Journal.
Anything But Quiet.
Mrs, A. There coos Mrs. Oreen.
They say iho Is such a quiet drossor,
Mrs. Z. Quiet? You should hoar
hor carrying on when hor husband la
buttoning up her wnlst In tho back.
Mnwinn r. iiuktum - imm e rumt
II I I r 1 til lAiiofikJa. H i u- iiui.ii i.r I J ,il
tlllier. Lm4. II. Ool4. 8lltr. Uai Oat i. Wet Kim
or tVrir, II. Mailing atela b4 full rUU
fata api'llealloa, jCViairol 4 tfajplre otk
iwtvM. iMieruuei vwuoaaie natioaai jut.
PACIFIC EMPLOYMENT CO.
of Portland. Orraon
FURNISHES HELP FREE
!im orf.ee. U North Strand Su Main tea A IMS
iaua utvu uorruofl BL warn lots; A VM
Ptton or wire order at our eipenae.
rtntclaaa work at
anil perfectly tUUJ
euuae aa low aa
Suite 427, Marquam Building
Oppoilt Portland Hotel, Portland Ore.
l rwruxq oat i
rOR TENDER, ACHING,
BURNING AND I.NfLAMtD
KNOCKS ALL OFFEND
BtrOflE IVE ODOUS AFTER
Price It cent. At all druzilita or by auQ,
Addrca Dr. O. O. FLETCHER
A as ley BldT PortUad, Orecoa
ATRIP TO PORTLAND FREE
CUT SATES IK
Plalca Eatractloo Prcc
Silver Fllllnea Jo
' rl K. Oold Crown ,....U
Porcelain Crown ,U
Molar 0ld Crowna (4
llrUic Wok, JJK.Ooll..,.M
Inlay Fill. Pur Gold U
Vcrr Nice Rubber Plato. ...M
Beit Rubber Plate on Kartb , ..t7
ALL THIS WORK 13 GUARANTEED.
Don't throw your money away. X dollar aaveel
Utwodollara earned. OurorlxinalrtlUblaModera
Palnle Utthod and our pfecte4 office equip.
Ennteat m u time aod rour money.
eMTON BENTIITS, JthNrrUa.rrtla4
liiliiui 29111 MeirtMo. enwlu hauCa aai Udcr A
Fnak. IaUuke4 t Fertlu4 10 ytui. Ofea enalaa
aAM I aa4 Itaiaia Mil UiIO, It aeeale ae )
Flfty-Bcvcn unmnrrlcd persons com
mit suicide to forty-threo married.
SwlUcrlnnd produces $8,000,000
worth of manufactured chocolate annu
ally Unthlng tho head behind tho cars
with hot water often will euro au ob
Peat wilt be the only fuel used In
a great German electric power generat
A healthy horso cats ntno times its
weight In food in a year, a healthy
sheep six times.
During 1009 Chllo produced 18,179
tons of copper, as against 19,403 tons
tho year before.
At tho last semi-annual official esti
mate there were 299,293 Indians in
tho United States.
More than fifty bacteria to tho cu
bic Inch wcro found In a recent test of
rain water In Paris.
At an elevation of ten feet the hori
zon apparently Is slightly moro than
ten miles distant.
The rudder of the tranntlantlo liner
Olympln weighs 100 tons, being the
heaviest ever built.
A web filament two, and ono-qunrtor
miles long has been 'taken from tho
body of a single spider.
China will hold its first great expo
sition, natlonnt in character, at Nan'
king from May to October.
Pnr a vniinrr nlrl lliti l a natti uml
lallory ilyle, suited toany waih material.
It til ay be mad at limply at you pirate,
or a mots drriiy touch Introductd by
k.iln. lli .nlNV ....I ,..ir. l
our coal spm.Y.
Klrupllf ylntr Iho Labor of t'ronurlntf
It luerrnaeil lit Output.
It was feared at one time that the
rate of coal consumption would soon
outgrow the rata of production and
there was talk of curtailing the use of
coal In cnany industries, says n writer
In Llpplncott's, Hut the Inventor pro
ceeded to make coal mining machinery
which lessened tho labor of extracting
tho raw product from the earth and
Increased the output tenfold. England
to day bases her hopo of extending the
period of her profitable coal mining
upon the Invention of machinery that
will compensate for the added cost of
deeper mining, In America coal mln
Ing machinery has doubled and tripled
the output. A coal dlggor cuts and
extracts the coal from Its bed as fast
as three or four skilled miners could
formerly do; it falls automatically up
on cars, which swine upward like ele
vators to the light of day, and deposit
their contents Into chutes.
Down the sooty mass tumbles to the
breakers, where It is pounded and
broken into sizes suitable for com
merce. Tnence it snaes on to tho
washery, and comes out nt the other
end to be dumped on cara. The cars
quickly cross the country to some river
or bay, where canal boats are waiting
The transferenro from the cars to the
boats, and from the boats to the whole
sale and tetall dealers' coal yards Is
performed automatically. Even when
the coal comes Into our homes It Is
shot down chutes Into the cellar, and
not carried there la buckets and bas
kets as of old.
And yet, for all this simplifying of
labor, this invention of machines to
reduce the dust and ashes, nobody
likes coal, ana we an pray for the time
to come when its use may be abolish
ed. It Is not a popular article of com
merce: It is a clumsy and dirty fuel.
and In this age of invention and dis
covery it seems woefully out of date.
It Is not new machinery to increaio
the output that we are longing for, but
the discovery of some new method of
obtaining heat and power.
'net liy neater.
Indignant Customer I want to re
turn this Jewel box. It's not Ivory, aa
Dealer (musingly) Now, I wonder
If it can be possible that elephant had
false teeth. Cleveland Ia-
Tho Kind It Wu,
"Walter, this chuck steak I ordered
Is like wood."
"Yes, salt. Dat am wood-chuck
steak." Cleveland Plain Dealer.
"Father," said little Rollo, "was
Solomon really the wisest man?"
"I don't know, my son. You see.
bis political power was so great that
when he claimed to be the wisest man
nobody had the nerve to contradict
him." Washington Star.
"What are the seats of the scorn-
"Didn't you ever have & friend pass
you perched up in a flno automobile?"
The Handiest Remedy
is Hosteller's Stomach Bit
ters, and past experience
has proven that when
taken promptly at the first
signal of distress a sick
spell may be avoided. For
Loss of Appetite, Gas ort
Stomach, Heartburn, Bloat
ing, Indigestion, Dyspepsia,
Cramps, Diarrhoea, Malaria,
Fever and Ague it stands
unequaled. Get a bottle.
ASTHMA AND HAY FEVER
nro quickly rollovcd by Wyatt's AMhma
Kemcuy. uunramoou or money roiunu
d. Ask your drtiRtclst or send six
tents postago for t rco bnmpio to
J. C. WYATT, Druggist.
ITCH CAN BE CURED
In a ihort tlm by mine
In CO-cent cana only. Addroaa
PLUMMCR DRUO COMPAtrY
Third and Madison Portland, Ot
!) fur HANTS PERMANENTLY CURU
A will ,M rttltTIMIIIWTfi- OnTLANP,QWC,
Jnpsnete Is Hardest to Learn.
Tho Japanese languago Is claimed
to bo the hardest of all to loarn
Kven tho Japancso find it hard, and
soveral American army orflcors have
found it impossible to master it It
takes tho Jnpaneso child seven years
to learn tho esaontlal parts of the
alphabet, and ono must bocomo fa
miliar with 2U signs to loarn this
Mmplo part of the languago nlono,
Tho 214 signs servo ns tho ICngllslf
Initial lottors In our alphabet To
bo nblo to road any of the higher
class of Japancso nowspnpors ono
must bo tho. master of from 2,500 to
3,000 Ideographs. Albany Journal.
Mothm will Dad Mrs. WtniloV Boothlnt
ryrup in wit rmir in oh ioi toiir uiuurea
atiriof m iiuiu( i4iiou.
"Did you do much stght-soolng when
ou went abroad T"
"No," answerod Mr. Cumror. "Moth
er and tho girls did tho slght neotng,
I had to put in my timo finding tho
placea whora thoy cosh letters of
I.lttlo Willi Buy, pa, what Is a par
lu Well, my son, a coal stove Is
one kind of paradox. It won't burn
unUl It is put up, then it won't burn
nnUl It Is shoken down.
The old farmer, equipped with the
tools ot bis trade, was busy near Uie
"What have you growing In that
told," asked tho Innocent passer-by.
"Weeds," answered the granger.
"Uut why are you cultivating
weeds r queried tho other.
"Ilucause," replied tho man behind
tho hoe, "after years of experience I
am convinced that Is Uie only way to
What We May Expect
Tho suffragette meeting had grown
"And what will become ot the great
brewery buildings when we coutrol
the votes? shouted the leader.
And tho little man who had
crept In unobserved shrugged bis
'I guess they'll be turned lntocbew
Ing gum factorlos and comploxlon-
powder mills" bo muttered simply.
Gunner What's the latest nows to
Quyer fJeorge Washington's auto
sold for 500 In New York.
Gunner What aro you trying to
band me? There were no autos In
Qeorge Washington's day.
Quyer Who said anything about
automobiles? This refers to bis auto
"What are you doing out here on the
"Helping to prepare my boy's les
"What oa earth do you mean?"
"He la studying natural history, and
I have to catch a bullfrog for him to
take to school."
Sfopltl And why not? Fall
ing hair Is a disease, a regular
disease; and Aycr's Hair Vigor,
as made from our new im
proved formula) quickly and
completely destroys that dis
ease, ihe hair stops falling
out, grows more rapidly, and
all dandruff disappears.
Pott ml chanft tht color of A hah.
jrornula irltka Vottl,
Sbw It t yaw
Aah blot ol II,
Nui aa m a ,
The little book In each pscksge gives
the formula cf our new Hair Vigor, tells
why each ingredient is used, and ex.
puibs many omcr Interesting taings.
After rcsdlne vou will knew whv this sew
lr prsptratioa does Its work so well.
Joy had known about It from tho
first Prom the tiny wine-covered
porch of tho house whoro she lived
with her Aunt Marshall who had to
ken her whon she was left an orphan
baby nnd had sent her to school until
she could support horsolf by teaching,
she had often on a Sunday afternoon
seen Ullty saunter past with Harold.
Haroldlno was then ono of tho pret
tiest glrlx In town and also ono of tho
best dressed. Sho thought a great
deal about her clothes and had noth
ing that was not becoming nnd taste
ful. Joy had atwnys envied Harold
lno her clothes, even ns far back ns
tho days whon thoy had studied to
gether In tho second grado, tor llttlo
girls, Ilka big ones, feel tho social distinction-
Implied between washed hair
ribbons nnd thoso that aro fresh from
Haroldlno hnd always held hurseir
abovo Joy and beyond Joy's reach.
Sho had money nnd was considered
fnshlonnblo. Joy was neither pretty
no woll-to-do, nor popular. Many pco
pto did not know her even by sight
Sometimes Haroldlno protended she
As for flllly, Joy had always known
him. Thoy, had lived for years on tho
samo street In ndjolnlng houses. His
mother was a widow, a kind, senslbla
woman. After sho died, suddenly ot
heart trodblc, Hilly sold his houso
I id struck out for himself. Ho was
irlght and ambitious nnd people liked
him. Haroldlno's fnthor took him Into
his ofllco nnd Haroldlno began to take
notlco of him.
Young men wero senrco In West
moro, nnd ono so porsonnblo as Ullly
was not likely to bo neglected. Har
oldlno asked htm to dinner to meat
her friends occasionally. And Ullly
accepted all Invitations glndly. Ho
scorned completely under her spell.
And ho never came back to West
struot to call upon Joy,
Joy loved Ullly, and sho sufforod.
Bhu foil that ho was going to marry
Haroldlno. It scorned thu most tint-
Joy tost Hor Voice In Ourprlso.
ural thing In the world that Haroldlno
should caro as much for him as she
Uut one day a rumor startled hor.
Mrs, Marks, who was much given to
harmless gossip, said that she had
heard that Haroldlno had refused to
marry Ullly. Joy was stunned To
think-that any girl who was so lucky
as to get a chance to marry Ullly
should refuse him! Glad as she was
for herself, sho was yet sorry for
Ullly. It was cruel of Haroldlno to
treat him so.
A week later as Joy sat alone upon
the front stops on a moonlight even
Ing trying to got tho hotter of her
hoartache a man walked down tho
street saw her, hesitated and enmo
straight up to hor.
"Qood evening, Joy. This is a be.ta
tlful night, Isn't It?" ho said.
Joy had lost her volco In her sur
prise. Her heart beat so loudly that
sho was afraid he must bear. Sho
could do no mora than smile at him,
but he seemed to accept that as sum.
clent greeting, for be sat down beside
her and began to talk to her. Onco
In a while be sighed and sho know
what be was sighing for. Yet it was
such dear delight to have him there
beside her that sho created herself
to be as entertaining as she could.
Her pity for him overcame her natural
shyness. In consequence, Hilly re-'
malned for a long Unie. And tho uext
evening be came again. And thon he
naked her to marry him.
"My mother always wished It," ho
Bald. "Sho liked you, Joy, I like you,
too. And I'll be awfully good to you.
I'm going away next week to the city
ONE THINQ YOU CANT DO.
You can laugh when trouble hits you,
You can smile when cloud appear,
You can srln when worry "git you,"
And when disappointment near;
You can laugh when rain I falling-,
It you are a cheerful soul.
Out you cannot do much laughing
ween tho boat begin to roll.
You can bear up under sorrow,
you can calmly moulder woe.
And perhaps no lgn of angulih
will your viaaga ever show;
You may hide all sign of weakness.
Though your hopes are in the ditch!
Dut you cannot hide your feelings
when the boat begins to pitch.
Let the cheer-up poets tell you
to preserve a cheerlul race.
And to smile at all your troubles.
And to never how a trace
Of the petty grlefa that fret you;
uut you'll loe your if-controi.
And you will not mll, I'll bet yon,
When the boat begins to roll.
"I don't understand you, Linda. Ono
day you'ro bright and jolly- and tho
next depressed and sad."
"Well, I'm la half-mourning, that's
why." Fliegende DIaetter,
to see if 1 can't find n Job thero. If
I do, I'd llko you to marry mo ns soon
' as you can got ready."
Joy consented. Shu was glnd to hnvo
him nt any cost And when he kissed
her her grateful hear! was ready to
i Joy and ullly wero mnrrled nnd
, went away to tho city to go to bouse
keeping In a four-room lint Joy
proved to bo a mnrvoious little houso
wlfo; sho juggled with tho dimes un
til they did tho work ot dollars: sho
kept Ullly's clothes In perfect orderj
her dinners wero tho best of their
kind to bo had. Sho never troubled
Ullly with complaints or any demon
stratton; Bho simply loved and wnlt
ed. In return Ullly rnther neglected
hor. Ho was kind and appreciative,
yet bo accepted hor as a matter of
course. His disappointment was still
recent enough to hurt
They hnd been married thrco years
then tho baby came. He was n beauty
big, dimpled, merry, nil smiles nnd i
giggles nnd with adorable wooing
ways. Thoy called him Uobort which
presently resolved Itself Into Uobby
Then for tho first time Ullly woko up
to tho fact that Joy wna of rent liu
portnnce; sho wnn his boy's mother.
Ho planned nnd lived nnd saved for
that boy. And Joy looked on, stifling
her longing and Irylng to be content
uut It seemed n long time to wait
When Uabby wns four yenrit old
Aunt Mnrslmll died nnd left tp Joy
tho llttlo houso In Westmoro nnd a
few thousands of dollars, which wcro
nil her worldly possessions. Then, for
the first time, Joy expressed tho home
sickness which sho had silently en
dured so long,
"Let us go back," sho pleaded.
"Westmoro is better for thu boy nnd
for us, too. Wo can llvo In tho house
and you enn hnvo thu money to start
In business with. You'll bo suro to
find somo oponlng thero."
Ullly had fallen Into tho habit of
taking Joy's ndvlco. Ho hated to go
back where Haroldlno was; he had
not heard anything concerning hor In
nil tho soven years ho had boon mar
ried nnd nwny. Ho still sighed with
unutterable longing when ho thought
of her. A mnn's llrst lovo dies hard.
Yet It came to pass thnt ono day ho
and Joy packed up thutr belongings
and set forth for weal moro.
From tho first day of his arrival ho
had been on tho outlook for Harold'
Ino, Uut Haroldlno was not In West
moro. Ho learned that hor father had
dlod tho yuar before nnd that she hnd
gone with somo frlonds to California
It was not known when sho would re
turn, rooplo had torgotton that Ullly
had over been Interested In Haroldlno.
I'erhnps Haroldlno herself hnd forgot
ten. Certainly It ceased to bo a living
reality to all savo him and Joy.
Tho business In which Ullly ongngod
thrived wotidorfully. Ho had brought
to It tho experience nnd now onorgy
thnt It needed. It was soon said of
him that ho was making money,
Women who, seven years before hud
not known Joy, camo to call upon her
nnd ask hor to their houses. Thoy
mado parties for hor. Soon sho was
drawn Into such a whirl of society
ns Westmoro afforded. lly spring
Ullly had decided that If thoy wero to
return any of their social obligations
at all thoy must have a larger houso.
He bought a lot In tho rnshlonablu
quartor of the town and proceeded to
have a house erected upon It The
house was nnlahod and they were liv
ing In It when Haroldlno camo home.
Whon Invitations camo from Mrs.
Herbert Crosby for her muslclo on the
0th, Joy accepted them for himself
and Ullly, knowing very woll that Har
oldlno would bo thero. There was n
good deal of anguish, a good ileal ot
uncertainty In Joy's mind thu night
she dressed for tho muslclo, but she
hid It nil under n bravo llttlo smile.
She wore n black dress or jotted lace,
Men admired Joy and considered
Ullly a lucity fellow to have such a
wlfo. And Ullly himself wns proud of
her. When he saw hor that night
standing beside Haroldlno, ho felt a
pang of revelation ns turned blm sick
nt heart Haroldlno was still Miss
Itoss and with no Immedlato prospect
of changing her nnmo. Her pale blue
silk looked too young for her; sho had
grown vlsably thinner; hor oyo brows
showed their penciling and her cheeks
their rouge. Ueslde Jny'a fresh, young
matronllness she looked faded and
Innno and ovordono. And when she
turned to Ullly with a coquotlsh smile
ho realized poignantly thnt ho hnd
been a fool for sovon years and
thanked God that Haroldlno had re
At home after the party ho took
Joy In his arms and kissed her many
times klBsed hor as a man kisses tho
woman he loves and has won. In his
penltance bo confessed a great many
things, but the sweetest thing ot all
he told her was that he loved her and
"You, Joy, you for all these years
and I have not known It until tonight
I wasn't much of a lover and I haven't
been much of a husband, but If you'll
forgive mo I'll make It all up to you,
Abovo her scintillating black laces,
Joy's face shone happily. Her waiting
wns over. The good sho bad prayeo
for was hero forever.
"Helen," demanded the stern mother,
"what aro all theso little stars at tho
end of this young man's lotter?"
Now, somo girls would havo blushed
and admitted they wero kisses, but not
"You see, mamma," sho replied,
calmly, "he Is a student ot astronomy,
and the llttlo stars Indicate tho posl
tlon ot certain planets In tho solar sys
"That last speaker," said tho first
guest at tho banquet, "was qulto en
"Yes," replied the other, "and he's
a self-made man, too."
"I can't say, though, that I liked
his delivery. It was rather slow."
"Oh I naturally. Ho began llfo as a
mesBengor boy." Cathollo Standard
The Chance of His Life,
"Is Opportunity masculine or femi
nine?" "Feminine whon a man marries a
Sherman jlay & Co.
ESTABLISHED 40 YEARS
SIXTH, AT MORRISON
!' JB sssssWv? t '
-J tftArftffill Wo know there Is so much real valuo In
this Wellington Piano wo'ro soiling- for S27& on easy piumrnttihnt
wo'ro willing to lot It bo rs OHW SALESMAN.
It will tell It's own story to you in your himo If you'll send us tho
Please semi me mil particulars concerning this unusual Piano ofler.
Neth & Co.
We Muy and ColUcl Motel, Mortsaict, and Real
Citate Contracts. No Collection No Chars.
Worcester Dlde., Portland, Ore.
WITHOUT ARMY, NAVY, POLICE
Utile Nutlnn !, thnn Ilnlf the
Sle nt tlrenler .Neir York.
They como together like tho teeth
ot a dog, da tho frontiers ot France
and Spain, nnd between the teeth Is n
bone-such n small bono that one won
ders why It was not swallowed up
long ago, and the name ot the bone Is
"Tho whole area of this lonely llttlo
nation Is something less than hall
that ot Greater Now York," says s
wrltor In the Metropolitan, "nnd Its
entire population does not equal that
of one of New York's great office
"For wsnt of a better name tht
geographies have called It a republic,
but the Andorrnns part ttielr allegi
ance carefully In the middle, as thoy
do their hnlr, dividing It (the allegi
ance, not tho hair), between the pop
and the French President
"If Tolstoy himself had framed Its
government, he could not havo built
anything moro nfter his own heart
Tho heads of families tho patriarchs
of Bcrlpttiro elect representatives who
soveral times each year saddle their
mules and go riding down to the 400-year-old
Parliament Hotiie, where It
nrstles cosily In the mountain valley
of Andorra la Yleja, to mnke such few
and simple laws ns tho well-being of
nouo Is neodod.
"Bo slight nre the expenrrs of gov
ernment In Andorra, ror all told thore
are but four salaried officials, thnt n
small poll tax on goats and sheep
amply moots them all. There Is no
army, even of the smallest tor who
Is there to fight? There nre no pollen
"When I wns In Andorra." the writ
er says, "the prison there Is but one
wns used ns a poultry house, Then
Is no fire department, for the houses
are all or atono. There Is no coinage,
for the people pay In kind, No postal
system Is there either, ror when an
Andorran writes a letter, which rarely
happens, he entrusts It to some ac
commodating person who la going over
the border Into Frnnre or Spain,"
Judge You aro privileged to chal
lenge any member ot the jury being
"Well, then, yer honor, Ol'll tolght
the shmnll mou wit! wnn eye, in the
corner, thero terninst yex." Metropol
Blncoe Why didn't Kaunfettte raise
a fuss whon bo found tho grocer bad
sold blm bad eggs?
Trlcoo For the same reason that
the grocer didn't raise a fuss when he
found Kounfeltto had paid him a bad
rart-elliitr II Out,
The gypsy moth and the Rnsllsh
sparrow had agreed upon an amloable
division of the earth.
"That suits me." said the derinan
carp. "I'll take the waters ot the
"Alsy, don't you nnd married Ufa
more expensive than bachelorhood?"
"Well, It may be more expensive than
a rigidly single life, but It's cheaper
A Cautious Osme,
"Does Ullgglns ever bluff whon be
"Never unUl he gets home and ext
plains where be has been."
fflUSlinEl Need Care
EYE REMEDY v.. wai in. it
Liquid Form, 25c, SOc. Salt lubn, 28c, SI. (XX
REDUCE THE COST OF LIVING;
25c. FULL POUND
DAISY FLY KILLER rj&3-.
. - - - - .. -
l4f It All Utltt.
ei tu u i
Hw-4 lw to li.ll.
11 hi 4111m.
Union Painless Dentists
' Wlpimtn ,, 3UU
SSc?, 0,TMl wlUl0Ut. TIS 1
J.3U to 3.UU
uoiu or l-urcelaln rllllnga 1, 00 Up
Cllvr Killlnir SOctoSl.OO
Uwt PUU Uad 17.30
No charge lor I'dnleaa Ultractlnir when other
fork la don. IS year' Guarantee with all work.
Ueun.ta.a.tolp. a. SC21Vt Uorrua SUt
ST., PORTLAND, OR.
Wo want you to try this Piano A YOUR
IIOMIi FlthE. Wo wnnt you to try it nt
our cxponpo because
At tho end of thirty days tha Piano
ITSELF will convince you of tho following
It's tho best vnluo on earth for tho prico
fr'n MIlStrAIJ.Y nml MPTHAXirAt t V
ASK YOUR CKOCER FOR K. 4 S. BRAND OF
Blueing Dltinltdanl Spray
Ammonia Cold Water Liquid Starch
"Clean, 0" Non-Coilin? Waihin? Fluid
I'hoil Main 113
401 Main St. Vancouver, Washington
Became Household Word,
An old doctor wns operated on In n
hospital In llcrlln. On leaving ho
was sympathized with nnd pitied by
all his old friends who met him, for
his hair had suddenly turned whlto
ns snow. The truth or the mattor
was that Foxy Grandpa bad no
chance to dyo his hair In tho hos
pital. Bo when he got out ho mndo
tho most ot thu mattor with tho first
person hu met, nnd becamo so fa
mous that ho was appointed ono of
tho king's physicians and died rich,
and his name, llko tho prisoner of
Chilian, buenmn a household word.
Now York Press,
To Ureal' In New Shot.
Alwarikoln Allen' foot. Kate, a powder.
It hum hoi, iw.'Mlnr, artilur, awollcn leet
t. iirws tHirtia. liwruwinsi lull ami bunloni. At
tllitrtiggUii ami ilum (terra, Sta. limn accent
myniUiliiiie. Kniiloinllmi,:K. Addrue
All.ii S.uimttcd, loilor.H. V.
A Frlond In Need.
Algtc I soy, Fred, You'ro aw a
fwlend or mine, aren't you?
Alglo Thon bo a good tellow nnd
aw help mo nut I'd llko to havo
that pwotty cousin ot youahs learn nil
about my aw good points, donchor
Frod I am holplng you, old chap, I
argued utth hor tor two hours yes.
torday trying to convince her thnt you.
weren't as big a tool ns you look.
"Nice People." n
"Do nice peoplo go to basebalP
games?" asks a reader ot tho Now
York Bun. Wo hopo not "Nice
people" aro the most tlrosome peoplo
In the world and It thoy went to base
bull games In any considerable num
ber thoy would mnko the players so
tired thoy wouldn't be able to put up
n snappy game and tho umplro would
got so bored ho wouldn't care whether
ha had his skull cracked with a bono,
ball bat or not
A MsrK or importance.
"Our frlond Isn't muklug tho stir la
statesmanship thnt we expected."
"No," said Senator Sorghum, "ho
hasn't oven made enough enemies to
have thu syllable 'Ism' tucked to his
name to provide a synonym for all hu
"I tried all kinds of blood temetlies
which failed to do me any good, but I
have found the right thing at last. My
face was full of pimples ami black-heads.
After taking Catcarets they all left I ant
continuing the use of them and rccom
mending them to my friends. I feel fins
when I tike in the morning. Hope to
have a chance to ircotiimend Ca&curets."
I'red C, Witten, 76 UIw St., Newark, N.J.
I'I'atant. I'alatatiU, I'otwiL Taat (hot,
IkiQuul. Never Sikn. Wvaken or (Srlp
lOe, Xe. CO. Never toll In bulk. The vert,
ulna tabUt atampnl CTC Uuaranteul to
cure or your money tack.
DR. WHITING'S REMEDIES
MINI rMI-ri'ltKli II V
NATIONAL MEDICINE CO.. LTD.
422tk Morrison St. Portland, Or.
I'l.o . tl.r.k.ll UK
it ooms a ana 4. sneiiey uifc..
lLwo4il fci tmn dui for An
turn stlJ of Ilia kntfav tilt
lor AfMoilwlll, allhoul
aii'l ifdcM-M ft 4ri'atft cur
6. "SPECIAL" REMEDY.
tot toiuii ,liu(ut 1 uiiiOri nMhej How-
ill Atsstl CisItM. fcldu eU.4 UlsVtlOejr UtM
In 1 tit I-
'lltU JWw tv tentitlo Work U a bnoi trrMUMil.
Nil r "II ftoJ wt will tuUm U uruil
NOW best TIME
or id jrtr to ft,
j. nr twin put aa4
o( t a itroa o
Omit, plat and
tr.Jjia woiH In cue
Qi)l4 filUitl 1.00
taim.l riUlufi 1.00
si..r niiiiiii ,50
It W. a. Will, Nmmt ui Muiiu PiIa'Ml titrMU . 5 0
fatalm r-ilrai tlon Vim when t!
uerln4. t'oaauliatloaViea, Vu
pilnlM w rk anrwhtr, no niatUi
All work lullr aruaruutiHHl tu
II IIUI lllutaal, IM rtllUM JCT METHODS
tte or Lr.Jsftj work
KOUCeVOBOt uvfc bUM
as hnM tnui h mi aw.
Wise Dental Co.
ej BUIIUUtVVU IUT tlllVVU I VUIS
i-tVn.Bi.NHIner Tklnl C Watt.!.. n DnDTIlUn ABtAAtl
." Vw.-rZ .4X,SV""
W II Kit vrrllluif to ncWertllr please
mention till paper.