E BY
Speaker Commends Work of tho
Sixty-First Congress.
Don. Smith 8nys Uncle Same la Not
Prcparod for War How Con
gress Aided Morse Dolly
Madison' Home.
Washington. On tho day congross
idiourncd Bncnkor Cannon Issuod
Btntcmont covorlng tho work of tho
ulxty-first session, which ho says was
tho best ho has known In his 8G yours
experience. Incidentally "Undo Joo"
eatd ho expects to return next Do-
comber nnd will placo his fata ns
cpoakcr In tho hands of his party.
"I do not think tho work of a con
Kress should bo measured by tho vol
umo of business, but by tho character
of tho legislation nnd tho caro taken
in Its consideration," ho said. "Mean
ureit by that standard, tho Blxty-flrst
congress will tnko a high placo In tho
record of legislation. Thoro havo
been, liowovor, moro than 0,000 of tho
27,000 bills consldorod and reported
from committees and about 300 public
laws enacted In this session, as against
400 publlo laws for tho ontlro slxtloth
congress. I can commend tho entlro
membership of tho house for Industry
nnd Intolllgonco In thotr lcglslatlvo
'work of tills session."
Continuing, tho speaker said:
"In my Judgment, tho two sosslons
of tho sixty-first congress havo nc-
compllshod moro and dono bottor work
tbnn any other congress of which
havo boon a member. It has raroly
occurred that n congress enacting n
now tariff law has accomplished much
else savo handling tho appropriations
for tho government This congress
has not only rovliod tho tariff, with
out disturbing business, but It has on-
nctcd Important legislation, nmondlng
tho Intoratato Commcrco law, making
that law moro offoctlvo, giving tho In
tcrstato Commcrco groator powor nnd
creating n court of commorco, nnd
'this without sarlously nffoctlng Uio
Itiuslness of tho railroads or chucking
rtholr Incroaso of rages to thotr em-
tployos. This seems to mo to moot
ftlio doflnltton of statesmanship In log'
Halation.
"This congross has nlso enacted n
Speaker Cannon.
postnl saving bank law, which Is nn
entirely now legislation, blniliig n now
'trail In lawmaking In this country.
'That law Is not on tho stntuto books
'by means of hurried enactment.
"Aftor tho houso had prepared n
itantntlvo bill, n Ilopubllcan caucus
vrna call oil to consider It, and after
'three long sessions n bill was agreed
upon which rocolvod tho majority voto
iln tho house, nnd tho sennto nlso no-
copied that bill without amendment
"In my Judgment this Is tho best II
ilustrntlon of party legislation wo havo
Iiad In many years, nnd It fully Just!
Iflos tho necessity for pnrty notion In
a groat legislative body. If thoro had
not boon party solidarity on this bill
thero would havo been no legislation
crontlng postal savings banks," Tliu
speaker detailed other legislation
which had boon enacted.
"Tho appropriations," ho said, "have
tocn Inrgo, but not noorly as largo ns
demanded by tho people who wore agi
tating over tho development of tho
various departments of tho govern
incut, INTEREST IN HISTORIC HOUSE,
A great doal of Interest centers Just
now nround what Is called "tho Dolly
Madison houso," which Is ono of the
historic spots In Washington. This
houso stands at the corner of II stroot
nnd Madison placo, near tho Ilolasco
thoator, which Is built on tho ground
whoro Secretary Seward llvod during
the war, and whoro ho came near re-
Gen. Smith's
ORlcors of tho army nnd navy who
Are in Washington woro much Inter
ested by tho Interviow recently at
tributed to Ilrlg.-aon. Jacob II. Smith,
retired porhaps better known us
"Hell Itoarlng Jnko" Who has Just re
turned from n tour of tho world, In
which bo declared that tho Unltod
States Is wholly unpropared for war.
He was discussing tho possibility of
A clash with Japan,
"I bellevo thero Is llttlo probability
of troublo," he said, "but If It comos
our nrmy Is wholly unprepared and
our navy Is by no moans roady. I
bopo to heaven such a war nuvor Is
etartod. I am ono of thoso soldlors
who doesn't wnnt war. Dut I bollovo
(ho bost way to prevent war is to bo
propnd.
"Now, how nbout our armyt Tho
peoplo will not lot us have enough
soldlors to bo of nuy use, Tho Japa
poso would eolio tho Phlllpplnos and
Sandwich Islands beforo wo could say
'Jack Iloblnson.' Wo haven't enough
pt an nrmy to hold these Island and
PRA1S
GANNON
cclvlng his mortal wound on tho night
that Lincoln was assassinated.
It was In this quaint old house that
Dolly Madison, tho widow of tho fourth
president, lived and hold court for n
' number of years as tho social queen of
tho National Capital. It Is said that
her homo was a fair rival for tho
Will to House, for she was oxtrcmoly
popular, always ngrecablo, and was
llkod by tho young as well as tho
old.
Tho houso was built In 1S25 by
Richard Cutts, Mrs. Madison's brother-in-law.
It camo Into tho former presi
dent's hand tho year beforo his death,
and ho In turn boquoathod It to his
widow, Dolly. x
In 1837 congress appropriated $30,
000 with which It purchasod Madison's
diary, and with this money Mrs, Madi
son was enabled to tako up her rosl
denco In hor city homo. Washington
was alf-ays attrtictlvo to hor, and sho
was glad to got back. Her return was
a renewal In prlvato Ufa of nil hor so
cial triumphs. Hor parlors woro nl
ways thronged, nnd sho ontortatned
practically up to tho tlmo of her doath
In 1840.
Aftor her death tho homo was sold
to Admiral Wilkes, who occupied tho
houso until tho civil wnr. During tho
second yoar of tho wnr (Jen, McClollan
used tho houso as his headquarters,
and Its parlors then woro tho scenes of
great military and naval social func
tions.
MORBE AND THE TELEGRAPH,
Hero Is n story of tho establishment
of tho first tolcgrnph lino nnd tho clr-
cumstanccs surrounding Mr. Morso's
efforts to got congross to appropriate
money for tho construction, as told by
Sonntor Ilnlloy, of Texas, In tho sonato,
Senator Jossph W. Ballsy.
It Is romarkablo now to road tht
story In nil Its baldness, nnd yot It I
absolutely tmo, nnd ono Is fairly
startled to think of what might have
happonod If Mnrso had become n llttlo
bit discouraged nnd failed to go on
with his wonderful lnvontlnn. Bonator
Dalloy said that Invontor Morso had
nppoaled to congress for nn appropria
tion of $40,000 for tho construction of
a telegraph lino betwoon Daltlmoie
nnd Washington. Tho bill was !tro
ducod In tho sonato, nnd passed that
body near the closing hours of tho ses
sion. After Its passage In tho senate
Mr. Morso hurried over to tho houso,
and, approaching tho doorkeeper, said:
"Will you tell mo who Is tho kindest
hearted man In the houso T"
"fluro," said tho doorkoopor; "Mr.
Carruthora, of Teunosseo,"
Mr. Cnrruthers was called out, the
matter was presented to him by Mr,
Morso, and together they went down
to tho basement of tho Capitol, where
n miniature plant had boon Installed
for n practical demonstration. Mr.
Morso wont to ono table whoro there
was nn Instrument, nnd sont a mes
sage dlctnted by Mr. Carnithers to nn
assistant nt another table, who ro-
colved It nnd transmitted tho same
message bnck to tho first tablo. Mr.
Carruthora was satisfied, tho bill pass
od the house, nnd In duo courso of
tlmo the lino was constmctod connoct
Ing tho two cities.
"And It was n atrnnge coincidence,"
said Senator Ilnlloy, "that tho first
message sont over tho lino from Haiti
moro was ono announcing tho nomlnn
tlon of James K. I 'oik, who had boon
Mr, Carruthora's opponent for the
presidency,"
Rhodesia Diamond Industry.
Now lire appears to hnvo come
ngnln Into the diamond Industry nt
Illotfontteln, Ithodesln, on the Vry-burg-Kurumnn
border. Only recently
38 carats of diamonds wore taken out
of n emnll halo of 16 feet square by
0 feet deep. Tho diamonds are of
fairly good quality, nnd were sold for
1775. The parcel consisted of about
tlfty diamonds, tho largest of which
weighed seven carats. In consequence
of the discoveries thero has been a
rush of diggers from the Vaal river.
The Great I Am.
"I thought your wifo forbade you to
marry ngal . when she dledT"
"So she did, but now I'm Just going
to show h r who Is mastor in tho
houso, Fllogondo Illaottor,
Interview
wo havo to send our troops 14,000
miles to got thorn thoro.
"As for tho navy, our ships nro all
. . . ... . .
right, but our -Idea of battle U differ
ent from the Japanese Idea. They are
as fnnntlcnl ns Moslems nnd bollovo ,
that every soldier killed In battle goes
straight to heaven. Thoy think noth-
log of sinking a ship. Tho men would ,
go to mo uouom Bulging uoaannas. u
nn Amor can genorai eacrmcoa JUs
men ns tno japanoso commanders
slaughtered theirs at Port Arthur
thero would not bo n general flftoon
minutes.
"Thank henvon, thoro Is llttlo prob
ability of war. To bo suro, tho peoplo
of tho wost coast nro blttor toward
Japan, but Japan has hor hands full
with Korea and Is In no ilnnuclal con
dition to undertako nnothor conflict.
Then, too, tho stntosmon of tho two
governments nro getting1 to undor
stand eaoh other nnd nuy troublo that
comos up is suro to bo settlod y diplomacy.'"
CROPS FOR DRY FARMINQ.
Fall-Sown Grains Generally Best for
This Purpose
Whcaffls tho great money-making
crop of n Inrgo part of the semi-arid
West. It is not particularly a drouth-
resistant crop, although certain varie
ties appear to succeed better than
others in'tho dry districts. Tho hard
Red Turkey or Russian wheat Is the
typo or variety which has proven hard
iest and most productive throughout
tho Western part of the winter wheat
belt. In tho spring wheat states tho
standard sorts grown aro Fifo and
Blucstcm, which nro nlso hard wheats.
Tho' Durum, or Macaroni wheat, is
rapidly coming into uso in tho North
western states, nnd It appears to bo
hardier nnd moro productive than tho
ordinary spring wheats. This whent
was Introduced from Russia, whoro it
has long been grown in n cllmato nnd
under conditions similar to thoso of tho
western part of tho Northwest states.
It Ib decidedly n "dry lnnd farming"
crop, and it is tho hope of thoso Into
rested in introducing this whent that
it may prove successful In districts
whero the rainfnll is not sufficient or
is too unccrtnin to grow the common
whent, nnd thus extend profitable
wheat growing still farther west and
Into tho seml-nrld lands of the Moun
tain states.
At present, with tho varieties grown,
tho success of tho wheat crop in tho
West is moro largely duo to tho fact
that tho crop grows during n part of
tho year when drouth Is least apt to
nrcvnll thnn to tho drouth-rcslstnnt
character of tho crop. Dut wheat is n
deep feeder nnd n rapid grower. Tho
plant draws its food nnd molsturo from
n Inrgo volumo of soil nnd is nbio to
withstand considerable unfavorable
weather conditions: yet tho crop Is
often materially Injured nnd tho yield
decreased by drouth during almost any
period of Its growth. By hot winds
nnd unfavorable weather conditions n
promising crop may bo destroyed in n
few days.
Wheat cannot stop growing nnd re
main dormant during an unfavorable
ticriod of growth, as docs kaflr corn or
sorghum, 'I ho grain must llnish its
growth nnd mature In about n ccrtnln
period, whatever tho conditions for
growth may bo.
Spring wheat In not woll adapted for
growing In Knnsns, but with sufficient
moisture to start It In tho fall, nnd
with tho usunl spring rnins, wintor
whent Is n profitable crop, even in tho
western counties of the state, whero
tho nnnual rnln fall docs not exceed
fifteen to twenty Inches.
Howovcr, tho methods of growing
tho crop nro crude. Often the West
ern farmer plants so many ncres that
he is unnblo to farm tho land well,
nnd tho result Is n poor crop, If tho
season la nt nil unfavorable.
Somo farmcro, howovor, aro adopt
ing better methods. Enough good
farming has boon dono to prove that it
pays to cultivate nnd till tho land well.
Mr. II. W. Campbell reported remark-
able results from practice of his sys
tem or culturo on tho Pomoroy model
farm. In Graham county, Knnsns,
For serovnl years this farm was mnu
to produce twico ns much wheat per
ncre as tho nvorago crop In tho sur
rounding country, with on other treat
ment of tho soil except thorough till
age nnd cultivation.
At the Fort Hays Ilranch experiment
station, In hills county, enough has
been accomplished, m tho ten seasons
since that station wns established, to
demonstrate that In tho semi-arid
West good farming pays ns well or
oven bettor than It does In tho rich
furming states of tho Mississippi val
ley.
Emmer.
F.mmer lias proved to bo especially
hardy und drouth-rcslstnnt, and in tho
Northwestern states this grain has
given greater yields per acre than bar
ley or oats, liowovor, nt the Fort
Hays station, In Western Kansas, em
inor has not proved ns hnrdy nnd pro
ductlve ns barley nnd oats. As n feed
ommor will hardly tnko tho placo of
barley nnd oats, but It may bo ground
nnd feil in combination with tlieao
grains or with corn. Wherever barley
or oats produce well emmer Is not nn
especially profitable crop to grow, but
In thoso coot Ions or the west In which
tho grains mentioned cannot bo suc
cessfully grown, emmor mny provo to
bo n profitable crop.
Barley,
Barley Is successfully grown In Kan
sas farther west thnn any other spring
grain. In fact, barley Is produced In
larger quantities in the western coun
ties of Kansas than in tho central nnd
eastern counties. The counties pro
ducing tho largest number of bushels
In 1900 were as follows: Fawnco,
Barton, Ness, Rush, Thomas, Pratt
and Hodgman, Each of these counties
produced over 150,000 bushels of bar
ley in tho year mentioned,
Winter Rye.
Another crop that grows success
fully in western Kansas is winter rye.
This crop, however, is not grown as
oxtensively as barley, nnd is appar
ently n less profitable crop to grow
than wheat. Dry Farming Bulletin.
Arrests Follow Crash,
Birmingham, Ala, Tho first crimi
nal action taken as a result of tho fail
ure of the cotton firms of Steele, Miller
& Company, of Cornlth, Miss., and
iVtll lIIJ V WVtSIIl , HIIU
Kn,Kht Yttncey & Company, two
m0nths ago. resulted in the arrest of J.
A McKnlght in this city nnd John M.
Miller ,n DeCatur, Ala., members of
arm nf o.i ' Mmr a fnmi.anv.
Thoy Br0 charged wlth 8enjinK foBod
mh of lttdlnff through tho malls. Mo
Knlght was released on bonds of $16.-
000. Tho amount Involved In tho fall
uro of tho two firms is $8,000,000.
Train Robbers Confess.
Fairfield, Cal. Carl Dunbar Bishop,
of Kansus City, Mo., who, under the
name of Charles Dunbar, was arrested
hero ns n suspect in connection with
tho robbery of tho China and Japan
fast mail near Renicin last April 17,
has not only confessed hla complicity
in that crime, but has also admittted
that ho nnd hla partner, Joseph C.
Brown, robbed tho postoftlco at Arma
da, Cal., last Juno 15. Brown had pre
viously confessed the train robbery.
DIDN'T WANT EMILY
LAWYER WAS SATISFIED
HIS RECOMPENSE.
WITh
Love's Young Dream Long In the Past,
and Solid Business Reasons
Alone Were All That Made
an Effective Appeal.
Danlol Webster Horner stood look
ing down at the street from a front
window of his law offlco In Turners
burg, pondorlng. Fifteen minutes be
foro n Jury had pronounced ono of tho
young Horner's clients not guilty
though until tho trial won well under
way overyone had supposed tho man
would hang. Daniel Webster Horner's
oloquence had saved him. Evoryono
agreed to that, In tho stroot Horner
could soo groups of men ovorywhero,
nil talking excitedly, nodding In np-
proval, or slinking hands In general
congratulation. And Danlol Webster
Hornor was their topic.
Down tho street fnm tho court-
houso n tall ninn with a much bowed
body shadowed by n hugo sombroro.
camo slinking. Tho crowd turned to
wntch him .Terry Mutchln, tho nc
cuscd. Dut they welcomed him with
mild npprovnl, nothing moro. Mutchln
must havo felt this, for ho scarcely
looked up to answer their greetings
but camo on with wavering steps to
Horner's office.
A creaking of tho rlckoty stairs.
timid knock nt tho door and Mutchln
ontorcd. Ho dropped heavily Into
chair and for n moment covered his
faco with his hands. Whon ho looked
up beads of swoat stood otit on hla
forohoad and his chin was trombllng.
"uan," bo began qunvcrlngly, "you
saved me you Just your ploas that
moved tho Jury. Everybody knows,
old man, that you did It nil. You're
horo, Dan, nnd I know It, nnd I'm
hero to glvo you nil I hnvo for pay
rncnt I I haven't nny monoy. You
know that when you took tho caso,
But"
Mutchln's fingers grlppod tho chair
arms In despair and his eyes dls
tondod nn ho pnusod nnd gasped for
bronth.
"But I'm grateful beyond words
Dan," ho hurried on. "So I'vo coma
to glvo up to you tho most precious
possession of my life I moan
Em'ly."
"Km'lyr tho lawyor repoatod,
"What's that?"
"Em'ly Em'ly, my wlfol I'll got
hor to dlvorco mo nnd marry you."
Tho lawyer still npponrod to bo
punled.
Dan I You dont mean to say
you'vo forgottenl" Mutchln crlod
"Em'ly you nnd I woro both In lovo
with her In high school days,
won"
Tho lawyor stopped tho spooch with
quick gosturo, nnd appeared to bo
struggling hard to koop from laugh
Ing.
"Really, I'vo had a dozen sweot-
hoarts slnco then. I couldn't rocall
hor on that short notice"
It wns Mutchln's turn to look dls-
mayod.
Thon then why did you do It?
Why did you work like a hero to
savo mat If It wasn't for tho lovo of
Km"y then, for henvon'a sako, why?"
"Ix)k nround this room for your
answer," tho lawyer replied. "Seo
this cracked plastering tho painted
floor tho second-hand desk that tin
sign creaking Just outside tho window
and nobody even looking up to say
It ought to be oiled. Your caso wns
drnmntlo and suro to got Into tho pa
pers that's all. I took It simply bo-
cause I had to havo the advertising,
You must bo going T Good luck then.
Ilo suro to give my respects to Em'ly
nnd remember when you go to tho
primaries next month that I'm run
nlng for county prosocutor."
Also Puzxled Qrandpa.
Elgnt-ycar-old Oracle confunrtod a
company of merry young people by
hor Innocent repetitions of something
ho had heard hor shocked grandfather
sny.
Ono of tne company, a young mat..
had been n privileged "friend of tho
family" for years, paying mild nnd
desultory attentions now to one, now
to nnothor of tho four daughters of
tho household, Something was said
about his long and happy comradeship
with tho pleasant girls, for the moment
absent upon somo hospttablo orrand,
"They'ro all lovely," said tho young
man warmly "all as swoot nnd sound
as ripe peaches. I like them all so
well that I often wonder which ono I
llko best."
"That's what gtandpa was saying
he'd like to find out," camo tho lr,
fnntllo bomb.
For Cleaning Windows.
For cleaning windows and mirrors,
thero art several proprietary articles
on tno market, but a little soda or
kerosene and a little thin starch put
ovor tho glass and allowed to dry will
give excellent results when rubbed oft
and polished with newspaper or cloth
that leaves no lint. In very cold
weather a llttlo alcohol on a cloth Is
effectual. Harper's Bazar.
He's Always Right.
Lord Northcllffe, who began life as
a poor roporter, now owns tho Lon
don Times, tho Dally Mall, tho Dally
Mirror, tho Evening News, and score
or two of British weoklloa and maga-
dnes.
Lord Northcllffe, ou his last visit to
Now York, was royroached because
two of hla nowspapora advocated dia
metrically opposite views.
But the young mtlltoualie Journalist
was qulto ready with his detenso,
"Are thore not," he said, "two
ildes, n right and a wrong, to ovory
question! Well, how, without two
papers can I be always right?"
The Cook Came Back.
Mrs, Haskor (who has Just passed
through Mrs. Homor's kitchen) How
much your cook resembles tho ono you
had a year agol
Mrs. Homor Resembles I Why,
she's tho very same glrL
Mrs, Hasker Tho Tory same gtrlT
How can that boT Tho other one's
narao was "Mary" and I heard you
call this ono "Puss."
Mrs. Honior Oh, we call hor "Puss
lust because sho came back.
TWOORESS AND INDUSTItx.
Old ago Insurance Is compulsory in
Germany.
Musk Importations In 1908 amounted
to over $80,000.
Tho silk of tho spider Is lighter and
stronger than that secured from tho
silkworm.
Lavender and roso perfumes are
credited with tho vlrtuo of being ail-crobc-klllcrs.
Four and a half million gross boxes
of matches aro used In London in a
year.
Traveling cranes aro now equipped
with scales, so tho load may be weigh
ed In transit.
Thero nro about 3,000 weddings ev
ery twenty-four hours, taking tho on
tiro world Into consideration.
Tho natives of Korea carry visiting
cards which measuro about twelvo
Inches square, and when their uso U
required thoy aro merely shown.
Tho Farthing CJazotto, probably tho,
cheapest dally newspaper In existence
has been started In Moscow, and has
already a considerable circulation,
Whllo two police woro set nsldo o
guard tho Bank of England, and two
the stock exchango, nlna woro omploy
cd to look after tho Ueckton gas work-i
During 1003 tho automobile cxpoit
business of France, United States, Uni
ted Kingdom, Italy and Germany, ta
flo leading countries engaged In tholr
manufacture and sale, aggregated
moro than $15,000,000, against $9,000,
000 In 1002, a growth of 400 per cent,
Automobllo exports from tho four for
eign countries named, taken as
whole, Increased from $8,000,000 to
$39,000,000, a gain of 38S per cent,
while thoso from tho United States In
creased from $1,000,000 to $5,000,000, a
gain of 450 per cent.
FASHION HINTS
A very attractive drcn for a younggltl
li made tunic faihlon of dark blue Kafili,
with I'ertlan llanili as trimming. The
underileevci are of dctp ecru net, finely
tucktd.
WOULDN'T STAND FOR XT,
When It Cniiio to Tnkluir lite Mtil-
Inn'a Medicine, Iliirom Itvlirlletl.
Abdul Hamld, ex-Sultan of Turkey,
is certainly a miserable old man. To
cap the climax of nil his woes It Is
stated that ho has been deserted by hl
beloved and, up to recently, devoted
harem. Wouldn't that make nny Turk
Just a llttlo bit disgusted with life In
general, especially a man who has al
ways been famed for tho beauty of the
ladles who reigned over his heart and
home! According to La Turqule, the
ex-Sultan was In such fear of being
poisoned that all food or drink which
ho took had previously to bo tasted by
soma member of his entourage, Re
cently ho decided to make similar reg
ulations with regard to the medicine
prescribed for him by his medical at
tendants. The result was that the women of
the harem were called upon to swallow
nausoous drugs and potions, a regimen
which soon told upon their health. In
order to save themselves furthor ex- ne felt the nrat Jau of ,he .keoter
porlenccs of the kind they decided to ! Burgtcli ,clssors Oeorge started to
desert the ex-Commander of the Faith- kiock tno BquBtter off his nasal terrl
ful, which they did at tho dead of tory, Dut ne restrained hta hand, for
night, so as to "avoid painful parting that instant bo romembored that he
scenes with the prisoner."
From an Incident nt Frankfort-on-
Main, Germany, It would appear that
aftor tho dispersal of the ex-Sultan's
harem somo of tho women were fas
cinated by tho footlights of the vaude
ville stage. Tho chief attraction at a
Frankfort music ball has been eight
genuine odalisques from Abdul
Hamld's harem," who appeared under
the charge of two eunuchs.
A member of the audience discovered
that one of the women spoke Oerman
with a pure Berlin accent He com
plained to the police, who proceeded to
the hotel whero the party stayed to In-
estlgnto the supposed fraud. The
Turkish consul, being called, declared
that the passports proved that seven
of tho members of the troupe were
actually women of the harem. The
eighth alleged odalisque, who hailed
ftom Berlin, fell on her knees and Im
plored the consul's protection, declaim
ing that she had been kidnaped by the
two Turks In charge of the troupe.
llulley lla -Ctinnueil,
Senator Joseph W. Bailey, the fa
mous Texas Democrat, has changed a
lot recently For ten years after h
went to Washington he always wore
broad-brimmed black hat, a "Prince
Albert" coat and displayed a broad
expanse of white shirt front. He
boasted that ho never owned a silk bat
or a dress suit.
Now, however, he wears a black
derby, gray sack coat and fancy neck
tie and looks more llko a prosperous
merchant than a southern politician.
He even wears a silk hat on occasions.
Kept It Several Week.
Cynlcus It is impossible for a wo
man to keep n secret.
Henpekke I don't know about that
My wife and I were engaged for sev
eral weeks before she said anything to
me nbout It.
Editor I nm obliged to decline your
poem with thanks 1 am very sorry,
but Poet But what? Editor The
management Insists upon my declining
all poems that way
Sorrowful Face Due to Other Troubles
MEW YORK. A small, quiet, but Bor-
11 rowful If not disgusted looking
man sat by tho sldo of n mcdlum slzed
automobile thnt was drawn out of the
road as a large touring car camo
along, driven by n man with an Inter
rogatory aspect. The man In tho
touring car had seen that auto every
tlmo ho passed that day, so ho slowed
up and leaned over:
"How long havo you been horor
"Several hours."
"Can't you find out what tho mat
ter Is!"
"No."
"Inlet valvo all right?"
"Yes."
"Troublo with spark plug?"
"Think noL"
"How nro your battorlos?"
"O. K."
"Havon't got a short circuit, hnvo
MaT"
"Oh, no."
"How's your commutator?"
"Great"
How a Bride's Roses Led Her to Tears
KAN8A8 CITY, MO. When Wllllo
Boy got married ho bought his
wife flowers, of courso. And after tho
wedding Mr. Wllllo Boy naturally de
cided to proscrvo tho flowers to look
at for nil tlmo by pickling them In
alcohol. Thnt was nil right It didn't
cost much, Just $2 or $3 but thero
was a 700-mllo trip boforo Mr. and
Mrs. Willie Boy got homo.
At first thoy decided they'd pack
the troasuro In tho brass Jardiniere
Art" sent nnd bring It homo In tho
bottom of ono of tho trunks. Thon
Emallne that's hor first name re
membered that among other things It
might ezplodo and ruin hor perfectly
irood roso-colorod dress that "Doc"
wont crazy over beforo sho was mar
ried, and that thoro was n 2C-tnch wil
low plumo In tho samo trunk, not to
speak of a protty coat, n lavendor
gown, n fow more hats, a couple of
hundred doodads or somo more
clothes. So the natural consoquenco
camo, Wllllo Boy carrlod tho remains.
Mosquito Gets Credit for a Runaway
-37 C CANT 'MNOjJlJPI
N
EW YORK. A mosquito which ap
parently wns a cross of the famous
or notorious famllloa of Jersey well
borers nnd Staten Island rock-drillors,
saw George Oordou's nose, buzzed a
little song about "Oh, for a pasture
new!" nnd awopt down upon the noso.
The nose nnd Georgo wero nt that
moment behind a borso that George
was driving,
Now, Gordon had had all he could
do to manage that skittish steed be-
noeded both hands to handle tho frac
tious horse.
And thoro was Ooorge In a dilemma
equal to that ancient one that con
cerned a devil and a deep sea. If be
didn't knock that mosquito off his
nose he'd lose his Ufa blood, but If he
took a band from the reins to deliver
Eat Muskrat, Maybe; Farm in Chicago
CHICAGO. "Loin of Chicago Grown
Muskrat with Bullrush Sauce."
Bills of fare In Chicago restaurants
will, carry the foregoing item as a
"special, fresh today" entree It the
plans of three pioneer "muskrat fann
ers" culminate in success.
The first muskrat farm has been
started. Its products are to be food
nnd fur. Its market will bo Chicago,
ns a beginning nt least, but success
may broaden Its scope. Mark Gelder,
loan merchant 1731 South State
street; Jack Eck, painter, 348 Twenty
sixth street and John Horan, Willow
Springs, are the proprietors of the
farm. Its location Is in the "Sag" In
the towns of Worth and Palos, 20
miles southwest of Chicago. It com
prises 190 acres, is more than a mile
long and consists of the fairest stretch
of swamps and shallow, little lakes to
be found In this soctlon of Use coun
try. It already has a large muskrat
population.
The birth of the farm came when
Gelder signed a lease for the land
With Mrs, Catherine Rawllngs, Us
owner, for a term of IS years, start
ing on April 16, at a rental of $200 a
year In advance.
The farm may figure as a worthy
champion In the fight against the ilgh
eost of living. Secretary of Agricul
ture WUeoa recently reoommeaded
Uut neat of snaakraU u a food. He
VFTJL UiV
A
"Perhaps your worm gear la.
clogged."
"No! all clear."
"Got any gasollno In your tank?"
"Plenty."
"How about your circulation? Cyltn
dcr Isn't bound. Is It?"
"No, sir."
"Tires seem all right?"
"Nevor bettor."
"Wol, maybe your vibrator Isn't ad
Justed."
"That's all right"
"Havo you looked nt your enrburo
tor?" "Yes."
"How nbout tho enm shnft?"
"Orand." -
"Have you tightened your connect
Ing rods, examined your clutches and
gone over the differentials?"
"Yes, yes."
Tho man In tho touring car paused
n moment and then, looking nt tho
stranger by the roadsldo, said at last:
"What's tho matter with that machine
of yours?"
"There Isn't anything tho matter
with this machlno; but slnco noon my
wife has been In that house over thero
kissing hor slstor's first baby good-by.
Whon sho gets through, It you are not
moro tbnn a thousand miles away and
will Icavo our address, I will tele
graph or cable tho glad news."
Tho Pullman was hot nnd Wllllo
Boy thought of tho explosion. No use
leaving tho Jnr out on tho vestlbuto.
It might break thero. Ho wonted to
stay In the Pullman, but ho couldn't
Ho hnd to stay outsldo and hold tho
pickled roues. Night came and Wllllo
Boy wns sleepy, He wont to bed, but
ho didn't sleep; ho was too busy hang
ing tho roses out of tho window to
keep the nlcohol cool.
Kansas City came, nnd then home,
Emallno wnlked Into tho houso nnd
Wllllo Boy followed with tho pickled
onco-wcro roses.
"Whnt'll wo do with 'omT ho naked.
"Why, put thorn In tho attic, or
courso," Emallne answered.
Wllllo Boy hadn't been married
very long and ho wasn't Independent
Still there surgod Into his face tho
blood of bnttlo and his volco splut
tored as ho sjiokn.
"A-at tlo?" ho asked. "Will wet
We won't I carried those things 700
miles, nnd If they'ro worth enrrytnr
that far they'ro wcrth looking nt even
If I don't think they amount to much.
Attle nothing. Mantel, that's where
they'ro going, understand mantel.
Hear me?"
And that's tho reason Emallno cried
tho first day she, had got to hor new
home.
that knockout swing awny would so
uls bad-tempered horse I
Gordon shook his bead violently
and blew his breath toward the mos
quito to dislodge It. but nil to no pur
poao. Tho Insect held on nnd Just
bored and bored. Gordon gritted bin
teeth nnd rvroembered the story he
hnd read In school about tho Spartan.
But what was a mere fox gnawing at
a boy's vitals to a real, war-slzo Jersey
mosquito sinking an artesian well In a
man's nose I
George could stand It no longor. Up
went one hand In a savage sweep. It
missed the mosquito. Forgetting alt
exoept his desire for vengeance.
George swung with the other hand.
And as the skeeter buzzed 'Ha, bal
the horse, freed from control, bolted.
Perhaps the wind created by the speed
blow the mosquito off Gordon's noso.
At any rate the pest vanished. Just
as Oordon grabbed the reins and
started to saw on the bit n wheel
struck n stone nnd out he shot He
landed bruited and stunned at the
sldo of tho road.
Dr. Frederick T. Wltte, who was
passing In his auto, got out revived;
Oordon and took him home In his ma
chlno. Wiien they arrived at the Oor
don domicile, lol there was the runa
way horse standing quietly at the sta
ble door
emphasized Its cheapness and tta
good qualities, Including flavor ana
nutritious value Tho farm may en
able many people to follow his advice.
The three owners will be the only
trappers on the land. They will pre
vent poaching and will guard the rata
carefully that they may multiply aa
rapidly aa posslbld. In the fall they
will trap, and after tho pelts of the
victims have been cured and sold the
meat will be taken to tho market
"Our first Idea was Just to trap for
the furs," said Gelder, "but knowing
muskrats were good to eat we decided
to Investigate conditions and try to
promoto muskrats as a popular article,
of diet We havo strong hopes of suc
cess, for a trial will convince people
that the meat of the muskrat Is good."
The farm will bo used also by mem
bers of the Sag Gun club of Worth,
lit, as a hunting and fishing preserve.
The swamps embraced In the farm are
noted for duck hunting and fishing
and have been a popular rendezvous
tor sportsmen of the neighborhood and
of Chicago, but their pleasure baa
ended with tho conception of the
muskrat farm.
Last Call.
"I shall never enter your office
again for the purpose of trying to col
lect this bill," declared the weary col
lector as he turned to go. ,
"Oh, thank you, my friend 1" ex
claimed Slopay, Joyfully, J
"You needn't thank me," curtly rJ
Joined the collector, "Hereafter f
shaU stand on tho sidewalk In front of
your home and call your attention
and that of your neighbors to tae bill
through a megaphone