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About St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current | View Entire Issue (April 22, 1910)
Opinions of i A AS TO THE KIND OF A PREACHER by the namo of Coburn, hold forth in a Presbyterian church In Pitts burg, seoms to bo fathering a dangerous doctrine when ho snys that "nny kind of n wife for a young man Is better than nono.1' ThoUBhtful peoplo would think iwlM imfnrn nubucrlblni to It. Any kind or a wife Is no kind of a wife If nho is not a proper help-meet. It is tho hnhto with which a groat many young men go about getting "any kind or a wife" that lends so many of them Into tho divorce court. Still tho worthy man of cloth was not very far wrong on some other things ho snld of matrimony. Here Is n partial report of his reply to the excuso of a young man that he could not afford to marry: No, you cannot afford a wife, but you can go to tho theater and club. You am too soltlsh to make any woman happy, and no BOod woman cun afford to hi botrothed to you. Tho bacholors ura not saving money, but a good wife pays hor own way and they are tho best banks and the best police forco, for no bandcuffs can hold a young man like apron strings. Any kind nf wife Is bottor than none, and a scarcity of weddings Is one of tho most dangerous signs of the times. To day 1,000,000 young womon uro tilling clerical positions t low salaries, which were filled by men thirty years go. Every young man ought to bo compelled by law to got married or pay to the Stato annually what It would cost to kcop a wife. Annual forfeiture of the cost of keeping a wife may bo all right, but how would tho amount bo fixed? The parson's Idea might be amended, with advantage In many cases, by making tho tax or forfeiture a sum equivalent to tho nnnual cost of the bachelor's drinks and cigars. Sacramento Dee. THE CENSUS AND THE HAT percentage of the census statistics wilt bo valucloss becauso of tho groat American proncnoss to boast? Wo wish somo ono would flguro this out nnd glvo us a formu la which, when applied to tho government reports, will permit tho student to arrlvo at exact facts. w Consider somo of these questions: .How old aro youT It Is the custom to Joke about the objoctlon of women to stating their ago. If tho truth woro known It would probably bo found that most men will subtract n fow years, particularly If thoy, themselves, aro shifting Into tiiAt period known as mlddlo-agod. Aro you single, or murrlcd? Old maids who havo not ccasod to striiMlo, as tho Georgians oxpress It, may lot Imagination rulo ;i "WELL, AS I WAS SAYING." John took tho seat behind his friend, Mlsa Wilson, in tho trolley car. Ho wore n bored expression, and after a ew casual remarks on tho weather, tthe causo of his disgust was rovoaled, -When women have n thing to say," Jbe began, "why can't thoy say It and get dono! More physical and moral forco Is wasted In tho reiteration of feminine conversation than could bo sised up In a long time of effectual action. Women's conversation consist largely of circular busrsaws with noth ing to work on. My wlfo has a sister staying with her." His friend saw there was something coming and lis toned patlontly, "This morning alio mislaid somo let ters sho had lutendod to glvo mo to post. You wouldn't think It would take long to toll about such a circum stance, now would you?" "Why, no." said Miss Wilson. "Well, It took all breakfast tliuo. Sho iM'gau when sho camo to the table. Said she: " 'I Imd.two letlora nnd n postal card which I thought John would post fur mu on his way down town, I stamped tho Icltuis and laid thorn between tho loaves of n magiulno there wore wo letters nnd n postal card and I laid tho book on tho stairs, thinking I would glvo tho letters nnd tho card fto John, so he might mall them on his way 'down town, and I can't And them .anywhere. I've hunted high and low, .and 1 can't Imaglnu what has becomo of them, "There were two Jottors all stamp ed nnd a postal card, and I remomhor laying them right between tho leaves or tho book, nnd putting It on tho atalrs, so that It would bo handy to kIvq to John, for 1 was very partlcu lar that they should go this morning, nnd I knew lie would Just a soon post them on his way down town. " 'I can't think where they havo dls nppeared to, for I remember distinctly placing them In tho book two letters nnd a postal nnd snylug to myself' nnd so on, "Well, that went on nnd on, nnd round nnd round, without getting nny where, nnd tho last thing I heard as I shut tho front door was, Two lot. turn all stamped, and n postal card.1 Do you wonder I'm tired with that for bieukfast?" Just then a mnscullno voice assorted Itfoir from tho seat behind. Ono man was relating something to another so emphatically (hat thorywns nothing to do but listen. "Sca't? Well, I guess I was sca't. I never was so sca't In my llfo. I ain't usually sca't of thunder been lots of times right out In tho open when It van thundering nnd lightning hard, and nln't minded It at nil, but thts time I was sca't most to death, "You see, our house sets something like that ono out thore, not very far fiom the next one. Well, wo were all sitting out on tho front porch In the evening, nnd I was sitting on tho Btep neni the walk; the others were sitting back, but I waa on tho lower stop neat tho walk, see? "Well, wo wore sitting thero, and all oC a sudden thero camo this thundor und lightning. "It was llorcot The lightning just filled lu nil that space betweeu tho liousea thoy'ro set near togethor, you know and I thought I was struck for sure. It seemed to come right down all around mo you see I was sitting right on tho step and I thought sure X was struck. It seemed to kind of tnako mo numb. "I never waa so sca't in ray llfo. Tou see the others were further back, but I was right out on the lower stop, and the lightning seemed to corao right clown between the two houses. "Well, when I could think, I looked at my wlfo. Sbo was sitting back on the porch by tho door, quit a ways frost e, becauso I waa on tbs step, EDITORIALS Great Papers on Important Subjects. WIFE. CRIME WITNESS. A Ti In the W I keeper I thnan other which gerous but alio was whtto at chalk. I novor see any ono ao whtto In my llfo bo ford. "Sho was ao sca't; and I was so sca't to sou her so white why. alio didn't havo a mlto of color. "Well, I toll you, I novor mlndod thunder storms before, but that tlmo I was scn't. You sco, I was sitting" Horo the car stopped and tho two friends got out. John was gating out of tho window In an absorbed fashion. For some llttlo tlmo nothing was said; but Miss Wilson, being a woman, took advantage nf her prerogative "Speaking about buiz-snws " "Excuso mo," said John, hurriedly, "I get out horo." Youth's Companion. CZAR'S EARLY LOVE. Aflar Mtormr Infatuation fur Haaullfnl Jotrraa llritkvn Off, A story of tho Cxar's early life, which tins long been known to cor tnln members of the Husslnn court, has recently been published. It Is tho his tory of n love affair of his youth from which It Is said he novor really re covered and for the breaking of which he has never altogether forgiven his mother. Tho girt concerned In the story was of Jewish descent and tho dnughter of .v government contractor, n Now York Sun correspondent says. Her nnnio was Itajssn ICagan. At tho ngo of 17 alio was celebrated ns n beauty and courted by somo of tho highest In tho land, Including the Grand Diiku Pnul, undo of tho present Ciar Nicholas, 1 he Oram! Duke on ono ocrnslon took hi nephew to one of tho lady's re ceptions, and no sooner did the lad see her than he fell violently lu lovo with hor. She reciprocated tho senti ment nnd that same evening they met by appointment lu tho conservatory of hor fathor'a houso nnd ho declared his passion and sworo he uover would mairy anyono else. At about this tlmo Marie Feodorov na, the Empress, was trying to get a suitable brldu for the future C;nr, and tier choice fell upon Princess Alice of Hesse. Tho young man refused to hoar of tho match, saying his troth already was plighted. A stormy Interview be tween the Czar and his son followed, ns n result of which, alarmed at tho turn affairs had taken, the lad agreed to respect his father's wishes, his last remonstrances being silenced by tho threat that If tho affair were not Im mediately dropped the contractor and his deughtor would be sent to Siberia in exile. When news of what had happened reached tho young Jewess she made a desperate 'attempt to commit suicide, but was Buved. Hearing of this, tho young man hurried to her houso and a heartrending scene msued, the girl again attempting to kill herself, After another violent quarrel with tho Czar Prlnco Nicholas Anally agreed to travel fot a year on the condition that dur ing his absence no steps should bo taken In the'matter of his lovo affair. Scarcely had ho left Kussla, however, when a compact was entered Into through tho management of tho Em press by which tho contractor agreed to mnrry his daughter to a certain stato official of Importance, nnd when tho unhappy Prlnco returned the wed ding had taken place. His marriage with Princess Alice was celebrated soma llttlo tlmo afterward. RODE IN Z'OOR MAN'S AUTO. Trip br Trull? from gjrrneu to Chicago llllatl with lurlilenta. An adventurous traveler has made tho trip by trolley from Syracuso to Chicago, a distance of 1,070 tulles by the routo ho took, in forty hours, It ho Is all right again after a week's recuperation ho will start on the sec ond stage of his journey to St. Louis, which will mean 1,630 miles in all, It ho makes it as planned. This modern Flying Dutchman rldeo on the trolley, called by him "the poor maa'a automobile," not with aay vta- "aavaE3?i them If tho enumerators aro strangers, and thore are men who will "decline to answer on the advice of at torney." What Is your occupation? Tho temptation to let fancy sweep skyward will be groat, indeed, to Ameri cans. Aro you employed or employer? That weakness for boasting will get tho bettor of thousands ut this point. Do you own or rent your homo? Dcslro may glvo tho answer. Any mortgage? It Is unpleasant to talk about things of this sort. .How easy to say no, test tho next question bo, how much? Toledo Ulado. IS CRIME NOT DISEASE. Kit million of population, the number of felonious homicides in 1909 was as fol lows: In Canada, 3; Germany, 6; Eng land, 11; Franco, 13; Belgium, the most criminal country in Europe, 16; In the United States, 129. Owing to lax enforcement of law, and the mistaken policy of giving tho criminal too many chances for escaping the ponalty of tils crime, only on out nf soventy-four murderers In tho United 9Uti la convicted. Political and personal Influence and the maudlin sen timent that regards crime as dlseaao and a murderer as a sick man to bo cured, Instead of a dangerous beast to bo exterminated, permit the average man klllor In America to escapo with aoven years in prison. Crlmo Is crlmo. The murdorer is a murderer. The sooner American prisons cease to be pleasant sanitari ums for mental abnormals and becomo Institutions for punishment of criminals by hard work and rigid disci pline, tho hotter for our national reputation. Chicago Journal. 7I0KT THE HOUSE .n,T. HEN tho common housefly bctrtna to thrive land It behooves ovory good house to make preparations to war on 1 1 1 tin nrita. TvnhnM anrl man dlsoasei aro distributed by flies, pick up large assortments of dan germs In dirty places and carry them Into houses and stores, depositing them froquont ly upon food, by which they aro taken Into tho human stomach. Sco that windows aro proporly screened. Provtdo a rocoptaclo where bread, moat, milk and othor foods are protected from flics. Boe that filth does not accumulate about your premises. In to rest your no If In koeplng alloys and streets clean. You can thus per form valuablo sorvlco, not only for your own family, but for tho community. Chicago Journal. lonary Idea of saving tlmo or monoy for nocessarlly ho must havo plonty of both to carry out iuch an experi ment hut becauso ho prof ore It to tho plucratto prlvato motor car, tho Now York World nays. Ills spoclflo reason for this preforonco Is that recently hs trollcycd it from Manhattan to somo country place up In Wcstchcstor Coun ty, whllo his friends started at the samo tlmo for tho samo destination by nutomobllo. und ho got there first, hav Ing tho laugh on tho Joy riders, who woro stranded three miles this sldo of Mamaronock with a burst tire. Mr. Man's notebook and records have not yot been sent to Copenhagen for verification, hut they sum up approxi mately aa follows: Paid fare Oil times, or at almost every crossing on tho suburban lines Asked for transfers 409 times. Got them nlno times, but missed connec tlons. Cash lu hand (plugged quarters and powtor or Canadian dimes, which tho conductors hand out In change, though refusing to tnko them), $1.95. Got a seat 11 times. Had to gtve It up 10 times and wished I had dono so tho eleventh, ns n woman whoso husband had plumped into tho only placo vncnnt when they entered stood nnd glared nt mo until throe or four miles out of Skancntclea, "All out; tako car ahead," 60 times, Wrong sldo of crossing, enr wouldn't stop, 310 times. Car heated 29 times (this was on a mild, summerllko day, whon the nt- mosphoro Insldo was suffocntlng). In favorable comparison with the nutomobllo, tho trolley never turned turtle, was not held up for speeding, did not kill plga or malm agricultur ists and emitted none of that dlsheart- enlng blue smoke which physicians de clare Is dovoloplng a now nnd fashion able motor disease. On the othor hand, the trolley trav- elcr had his too stepped on and his pockots picked, caught contagious In fluenza and was Jolted off the car plat form In rounding a curvo. Tako It for all In nil, honors are nbout even between tho "poor man's automobile" nnd the one affected by the wealthy and fashionable. One touch of travel makes tho whole world Kin bo may tho two shako hands nnd call the result of the rivalry a draw The flluva of Welcome. A picture in a recent publication shows the window of A public build ing, from which protrudes a pole heap tug a stuffed glovo ou Its end. The Illustration portrays a. custom of an old English town which dates from ro uiotu times. V, J, Snell tells about it lu "Memories of Old Devonshire" Uarnstuplo Fair Is still an import ant occasion, although Its old glory has departed. It lasts for three days. and in former times as much as twen ty thousand pounds wero expended In tho purchase of cattle. A great stag hunt Is ono ot tho features of the oc casion, Tho fair opens with a quaint cere mony, Tho mayor of Harustaple pro vides a feast In tho glldhall, aud mul led ale, toast aud cheese are served In tho old civic, plate, Then a large stuffed glove Is showu above tho door ot the glldhall, as a sign ot welcome extended to all visitors. While this glove Is displayed nu arrests can bo inado In tho town. In tho old town accounts may bo found such records as this: "1615: Paldo for glove to put out at Fnlre Id." For centuries Barnstaple Fair has been famous throughout all Devon and beyond, and ita glories hav pass ed into songs and ballads. Search the towns all round, there's nothing can compare, mlsa, In measurement and merriment, with Barnstaple Fair, mlsa. Than sing ot Barum, merrytowa, and Barum a merry mayor, too, I know no place In all the world old Baxuaa to compare tal AN "AIR JAQ. Forced Brtnlhln la a llmalant with No "Morulas; After" Kffccta. It has been noticed by different In vcstlgators that deep violent breath' ing for several minutes so changes tho system as to make respiration un necessary for perhaps as much as flvo mlnutos after this preparatory breath' Ing Is over. One who has mado the experiment found that after four mln utes enforced breathing It waa possl bio to hold his breath for three nnd a half minutes, though without such preparation his limit was only 50 sec onds. Tho time during which it la possible to do without respiration in creases, ot course, with the length ot tlmo during which tho preparatory breathing la carried on, but only up to a certain definite limit, which varies somewhat with different persons. Long after this "washing out ot tha lungs," na tho Yogi philosophers would call It must have been completod, tho preparatory breathing is still effect Ivo. Tho change produced in the sys torn la certainly morn fundamental than a lung transformation, therefore, and would appear to Indicate a tcm porary alteration In blood constitution The effect of this rapid breathing aa a mental stimulant is vary pro nounced. Mental fatigue may b post- poncd, far beyond the usual point, by two minutes of rapid deep breathing at half-hour Intervals. A feeling of sluggishness or sleepiness may bo al most completely dispelled. There seems to bo no reaction, as In the case of most atlmulanta, and In every way thla "air jag" ia quite satisfactory. Tho effect on muscular fattgua la also striking. A difficult arm exarclaa with heavy wolghta which undor ordl nary circumstances could not bo re peated more than 20 times, after four minutes ot this preparatory breathing could bo dono 27 times. The pulse beat goes up rapidly while tha breath Ing is continued. Another curloua af fect Is tho nppnrcnt rnpld lapso ot tlmo during tho latter half of a bard breathing period. This changa In tho tlmo aenso Is very noticeable Aa n mental stimulant, and aa a means to Increaso tho tlmo during which tho Kystem can do without res' plratlon, violent breathing might And considerable usoful application, and daring rcscuoe from suffocntlon aro common enough to mako n knowledgo of this posslblo threefold endurance without air of no llttlo valuo. BRUTAL CUSTOMS MEN. Whnt HappcNail to m llrlttah Hallo. Who Wot Aahnra at Hatnnra, Admiral I-ord Chnrloi lleresford, at n itlnnnr In New. York, dofendod the customs officials of the port, says the Now York Trlbuna. "Thuan Intalllrcnt vounr men." ho said, "In a difficult position conduct thnmanlvoa arirnltlr. Tho storlea are falso thnt maks thorn out to be brutal and indelicate. If it were. Turkey now I In tha riava hafora Ilatoum fall tO Russia," ho raaumed, "a aallor on an English ship lying In Datoum Harbor want aahnra and beusht himself a pair nt tAiiar TIa nut tho trousers on. Ills old onoa wero iiuiio worn out, ana . - - . . . . i ne tola tne aeaier io mrow mom away. Then ha started forth into tho street proudly, "flnon he mot a rroun of customs officials. They stopped htm, nnd tholr chief said: " Thoso nro now trouiora you vo got on?' "'Yes,' aald tho sailor, 'I Just bought them.' "Then said tho customs chief, 'you must pay duty on them.' '"Hut 1'vo got no money left.' aald tha anllor. And thla was true. Ilia last copper had gono to pay tho shop man a bill. - 'Mn money?' said the chief. That a vrv limi for vou. then. You'll have to Icavo tho trousera with ua In that case' " 'Hut I'vo got nothing under them," objected the sailor. "'Novor mind; wo won't iook,' ana Iia riiinf nml his men all repeated that thoro was no fear they would none ot them look, '"But other peoplo may look!' shout ed the desperate sailor. The officials shrugged tncir snoui- dera. "That, they said, 'Is no concern f .. , "And so tne poor aauor waa iurcou, willy nllly, to leave his new purchase behind, and to gallop to his ship aa best he could, making up In speed what he lacked in drapery." A Modal Platform. One of tho shortest political plat forms ever written la that ot 8olomon P. Bodes. Solomon; according to o Vice-President Adlal E. Stevenson's "Something of Men I Have Known," was wont to say that ho would rathei "go to tho MUsourl legislator than to bo the Czar or Uooshy." A convention which purposed to nominate 'htm foi this office was onco held at the school- house. Tho committee to draw up tht resoluiTons adjourned for consultation to a log back ot the building. When the committee Anally return ed, these resolutions, two in number, were presented to the assembly and adopted unanimously and with great enthusiasm: (1) Resolv that In the declara tion ot independence and likewise In the constitution ot tha united states wo recognize a able and well rltteo document, and that we are tetotualty oppose the repeal ot airy one of the aforesaid tnstrumcaU ot riling. Resolv: (2) that tn our fellow-townaman, Solomon P. Rodea, wo. view an onset man and hereby annomlnate hint for ho legtslatur. JuaUacattaa. "Now, look here, my dear," aald a husband, decidedly, "I am sura wa doa't need that bsarshln rug. How often have I told you not to go aaa buy things because they are cheap!" But. my love," mitea nie win. "thla waaa't cheap K eoet 54V Philadelphia Inquirer. Whea a married naa U aa advo cate of equal auttrafle, It U better proof that he la heajoehel thaa that ha4ovea hla wife. The father who seta ha4 euaulM should not be aurprleea M hla aa W hair aaa hatchet theta fr Old Favorites Klttr of Coleralaa. Aa beautiful Kitty ono morning was tripping With a pitcher of milk from the fatr of Colcralne. When sho saw mo she stumbled, tho pitcher down tumbled, And nil tho sweet buttermilk water cd tho plain. "Oh, what shall I do now? 'Twos looking at you. now. Sure, sure, such a pitcher I'll ne'er meet again, Twns tho pride of my dairy I Oh, Bar ney O'Lcary. You're sent as a plaguo to tho girts of Colcralnel" t sat down beside her, and gently did chldo her. That such a mlsfortuno should give hor such pain. A kiss then I gavo hor. Before I did Icavo her. She vowod for such pleasure she'd break It again! Twas haymaking season I can't tell the reason . Misfortunes wilt never come single that's plain For, vary aoon after poor Kitty'e dls aater, Tha dovll a pitcher waa wholo lu Coleralnel Old Song. Address lo the Uneo dald. Then gently scan your brother man, Still gcntlor sister woman: Though thoy may gang a kennln wrang, To step asldo Is human: Ono point must stilt bo greatly dark. Tno moving why thoy do It; And just as lamoly can yo mark How far perhaps they ruo It Who mado tho hoart, 'tis He atone Decidedly can try ua: Ho knowa each chord, Ita various tono, Each spring Ita ynrloua blaa. Then at tho balanco let'a bo muto, Wo never can adjust It: What's dono we partly may compute, uut know not what's resisted. -Robort Burns. TOBACCO AND MISSIONARIES. 4 One Popular lluniorlal'a Id ana on an Important Hubjrol. I am glad to notlco a strong effort on tho part of tho friends of humanity to cncouragQ thoso who wish to quit tbo uso of tobacco. To quit tho uso ot this weed is ono ot tho most agroo- ablo mothoda of relaxation. I havo tried it a great many times, and 1 can safely say that It has ufforded mo much solid felicity. To violently reform and cast away tho wood, and at tho end ot a wook to And a good cigar unexpectedly In tho quiot, unostentatious pocxoi or an om vest, affords tbo moat Intenae and do llrloua delight. Scientists tall ua that a single drop of tho concentrate oil of tobacco on the tongue ot an adult dog Is fatal. I havo no doubt about the truth or co hesive powor ot this statement, and for that reason I havo alwaya been opposed to tho use ot tobacco among dogs. Dogs ahould shun the concen trated oil of tobacco, especially it longevity bo any object to them. Neither would I ndvlso a man who has canine tendencies or a strain ot that blood In hla veins to use tho con centrated oil of tobacco as a eozodont. To thoso who may feel that way about -tobacco I would say, shun It by nil means. Shun It ns you would tho deadly upas tree or tho atlll more deadly whlpplo-tree or tho tropica. Scientists who havo been unable to successfully use tobacco, and who therefore havo given their wholo Uvea nnd tho uso ot their microscopes to tho Investigation ot Ita horrors, say that cannibals will not cat the flesh of tobacco-using human beings. And yet we say to our ralifilonarles: "No man can be a Christian and use to bacco." I say, and I aay It, too, with all that depth ot feeling which boa al ways characterized my earnest na ture, that in thla wo are committing a great error. What have the cannibals ever dona for us as a people that wo should avoid the use of tobacco In order to fit our flesh for their tables? In what way have they sought to ameliorate our condition In Ufa that we ahould strive in death to tlcklo tholr pa latea? Look at the history of the cannibal for past ages. Read carefully hla rec ord, and you will aee that It haa been but the history ot a selfish race. Cast your eye back over your shoulder for a century, and what do you And to be tho condition of tho canntballstsT A new missionary has landed a few weeks previously perhaps. A little group Is gathered about on tho beach beneath a tropical tree. Representa tive cannibals from adjoining Islands are present. The odor of sanctity pervades tho air. The chief atta beneath a new um brella, looking at the plcturea la a large concordance. A new plug hat la hanging In a treo near by. Anon the leading cltlzena gather about on the ground and we hear the chief aak hla attorney general whether he will take aoma of the light or some of the dark meat. Far away la England a paper con tains the following personal: Wanted A young man to go aa mis- stonaryto supply a vacancy In one of the Cannibal Islands. He must fully understand the appetites and tastes ot the cannibals, must be able to reach their Inner natures at once, and must not use tobacco. Applicants may com municate tn parson or by Utter, la It strange that under those cir cumstances those who frequented the Canalbal Islands during the last cen tury ahould have quietly accustomed themselves to the use of a peculiarly pernicious, violent and all-penradlac brand of tobacco? I think not. To me the statement that tobaceo- talnted human flesh Is oCaaaivo to the cannibals doea. not oeme hotao with crushing power, r Perhaps I do aot Jove my fellow maa ao well aa the cannibal does. I kaow that I aa aelaaa la thla way, aaa It say cannibal brother aooiraa to polish my wtahbeao he nauet tako aae aa he taaa me. I can aot ahetala wholly from tho aae of tooaeeo la or 4or to gratify tho gMtyeroi taoUa of one wno nas never gono out ot nu way to do me n favor. Do I ask tho cannibal to break ot the pernicious uso of tobacco becausi I dlsllko tho flavor ot it in his brts kot? I will defy nny rcspectnblo rest dent ot tho Cannibal Islands to-day tl place his Anger on a solitary Instanct where I have over, by word or deed Intimated that ho should make tht slightest change In his habits on mj account, unless it be that I may havt suggested that a diet consisting a more anarchists nnd less human be lngs would be more productive ot gen oral and lasting good. My own idea would bo to send I class of men to theso islands so thor oughly Imbued with their great oh jeet and tho oil ot tobacco that .hi groat Caucasian chowder of thoeo ro gtona would be followed by such woep Ing and walling, and gnashing v, teeth, and such remorse, nnd ropont ance, nnd gastric upheavals thnt I would- bo as unsafo to eat a mission nry In the Cannibal Islands ns it li to eat ico cream tn tho United Statu to-day. Frlm Bill Nyo's Budget, AFTER ins MAJESTY. Ilaaalans Delight In PlarlnK aeeot. Kldrflx to the Taar. Tho aocond placo Is not often covet od, but In Russia royalty ranks s high that to the loyal aubject it aeomi great honor to follow the Czar. Thi government la emlnontly patriarchal In theory, nt least, nnd tho emperoi must aupervleo aa well aa patronlzt tho achoola. At the Eaater featlva the pupils aro treated with espocla favor. Of thts Oeorgo Brandos, In hli "Impressions or Russia," gives auct account aa ho had from a pupil o: high standing. Young girls of the upper classes o: the Imperial Girls" school were drlvci In a long procession through tht atroeta In tho Imperial carriages. Tht pleasure for them was only that o! being allowed to tnko a drlvo In I stylleh court carriage, with coach man and footman In tho Imperial llv cry. There waa nothing special to bt scon. Tho theory of this la that tho Czai stands In n sort or higher parental ro lallon to nil thoso children. When hi onco a yoar visits ono of theso school! to which only tho children of tho no blllty aro admitted It Is a custotr that, aa a sign of hla favor, ho dropi his pocket handkerchief and tho glrli nil scrnmblo for It, nnd It Is torn, it pieces, so that ooch ono can got i fragment. Ho takes tho most brilliant girl t tho tnblo, and tastes ot tho food ol tho Institution. It Is valued na tht highest distinction when ho gives ont of tho girls his pinto with what Is lofl upon IL It Is tho custom and usagi for hor to eat It with delight shown In nil hor featured. Great was tho astonishment ot Alex andor II whan a young girl, a Polo whom tho Czar had taken to tin table, aa being tho most dtstlngulihoc" scholar of the Institute, and to whorr ho had passed what waa left of hu moat and potatoes, nodded to a aerv ant and calmly gave him the Csar! plate to tako away. Maala ot Kallahtaaraaat. The Middle West la using luncheons and dinners aa a meana to booming and boosting their towns, and devis ing fresh mothoda of accelerating prog ress, aaya Colllera. Dea Molnea waa aleeplng the alecp ot lethargy and hope lessness threo and a half years ngo, when a few ot her busiest business men began to get together at noon luncheons once, twice and threo times a weok, and talk up a thriving town. They wlllod that Dea Molnea ahould nwako. Out of tholr Inspirational feasts grew tho Greater Dea Moines committee. Tho Commercial Club breatbod in new llfo. Tho Dea Molnoc plan ot commission and referendum government enabled tho citizens to clean up tho mess at the city hall The life forco ot those banquetlngs ex pressed Itself In various directions. To-day Dea Molnea baa more vitality and higher momentum than It bad three yeara ago, The luncheon and dinner habit la atlll maintained aa the source and fount of much of the good. You go to a luncheon ot a hundred or ao peraona In Dea Molnea business men. lawyers,. Journalists and agrlcul tural edltora and they talk whllo you eat. While the courses are being munched thoughta on city charters, corn-growing and factory Inducement are casually spilled out by local talent Pay of Profaaaara, At a dinner ot the Alumni ot Browt, University the other day, President Faunce spoke of the work of the col lego professor, whose real business he declared to be "not to stuff the atu dent'a mind with Information, but to train the Intellect to grapple with and analyze complex situations." That thli Important business la 111 paid he lllua- tratod by telling ot a question and Its answer. "It you won't take offense," aald a rich man to a college professor, what salary do you receive?" "Twelve hundred dollars," waa the reply, "Why," replied the rich man. "that It Just what I pay my chauffeur, except that when I take htm out of town 1 pay all his expenses." Then Dr, Faunco asked hla audience. "Can we afford to jtay our chauffeurs as much aa we pay the mea who educate our sons?" It was a pertinent question, tellingly put. Which should have tht greater reward tho maa who drives aa automobile or the man who tralat the Intellect for the tasks of llfeT Tlad tha Traak. 'Then you think that motormea art more cautious than chauffeura?" They have to be. They caa't awerve It the pedestrian loses hl head."- Loulavllle Courier-Journal. AlaM. Foreigner But la the Hagllah Ua- fuage capable ot ex preset ag aaythlacl Native Certainly. Leek at tha aamea oa our PuHaaaa oara! Pack. A MaT BaAdW, Wo are told that the' Macaalleat kali threwe a shadow." Aaa oe It doea. II threwa a ohadow over year ansoUta wheat you ind It la yoar feed. 8Meotloa: Taooo hair tarhaao worn by away of the w make exeeUeat heao' aeoU, Doa't think that every foot Mea yoo fot Mo yoar head io aa COLLIER & COLLIER Lawyers, u Rooms in Holbrook Building. S.Johns, .... Oregon JOSEPH McCHESNEY, M. D. Physician and Surgeon. Day &,Nlght Ofllco in McChesney blk. Phone Jenejr HI. St. Johns, - Oregon. Ha. FVmc Jmer 1571. Met Pkont Sttuj 921 ALBERT CAREY, M. D. HOLBROOK BLOCK Itesldtnce 902 Fcaranden Street Office Hours: 10 a. m. to 1 p. m., 3 to 8 p. m. ST. JOHNS,' OREGON. Daniel O. Webster, A. B. M. D Residence, C97 Dawson Street Ofllco, Plitor Block. University Park', Portland, Oregon. DR. RAMBO DENTIST Ofllco Phono Richmond 51 , First National Bank building. ST. JOHNS, OREGON. DR. W. E. HARTEL DENTIST Phono Richmond 201 Holbrook Block - St. Johns Phone Jersey 021 Holbrook Block DR. J. VINTON SCOTT DENTIST Open Evonlnga nnd Sundays by Ap pointment. Ofllco Phono Woodlawn 703 Res. Phono Woodlawn 1C6S D. E. HOPKINS DENTIST Odic lloum From 9 to 12 iru 1 lo t p. in. 7 to 8 p. m. 662 Dawson street, University Park Phono Jersey 1G71 Hours: 2, to G p. m. ST. JOHNS PIANO SCHOOL Conducted by Mrs. LiHie Wells Carey 002 Fcsscnden St, ST. JOHNS, ORE. II. S. Hewitt E. S. Wrioht (12 SUM St. tot S. llaraa HEWITT & WRIGHT CONTRACTORS and BUILDERS Estimates and Plana Furnished HoMaea for Sole ST. JOHNS, OftC. J. R. WEIMER Transfer and Storag Wo deliver vour irooda to and from all parta of Portland. Vancouver. Linn ton, Portland and Suburban Express Co., city dock and all polnta accessible by wagon. Piano m4 furniture moving a specialty. 109 E. Burlington; phone Richmond 61. LAUREL LODGE No. 186 I. O. O. fv ST. JOHNS, OHCGON Meota each Monday ovonlng In Odd Fel lows' hall, at 8:00. Visltora wolcomcd. W. J. Ckutj, N. C CP. Ctttt, StatUr, HOLMES LODGE NO. 101 KNIGHTS Or PYTIHAS MecUavary Friday nlsbt at tuuo ciock ai i, u, v. n nan. vuilora alwaya wl coma. A. CARL NCISON, C. C, C. C IHJRIBCNT, K. R. S. DORIC LODGE NO. 132 T oWMl Ao Wo Regular communication on Ant and third Wed nesdaya of each month in Odd Fellows' hall. Vlaitora welcome. , E. S. Harrington, Allen R. Jobea. secretary. W. M. CAMP 773 W. O. W. Meets ev ery Wed--neaday ov e n I n g in Blck. ner's Hall f."A. Cole, C. C. W. Scott Kellogg, Clerk. Central Market! HOLMOOK BLOCK See im for the Choicest Cuts f the Bert Meats OttabiaMe. Order Waal aod rarnoy Triatt SeNdtetf. T. P. WARD, PrafNMtor. St Johns Sand and Gravel Co. JACKSON & MUSGOVe, Prate GoSaVOl CaaTaaaaaOra We are prepared to da aay and all kind of oxeavatwg- for street ajaAfjlr sLsuJ ftr Biu,aaMaBVa VV Wat OTaas JSTVaWOW fTaa a-aaaAraaaar, TW aa) also handle skkwakt aad build kg material. ' Newton and Faasandea IteeaU, Si J9)hM OafaK aPJaJft oR40oiBl UpIo 4f