Page 10
CROOK COUNTY JOfRXAt,
Rann-dom Reels
KATHLYN WILLIAMS
SCHOOL DAYS
WHY 3IR. FOX MOVED
MR. FOX had a great manj neigh
bors and he was anxious to be
friendly with them all. He was sly
end clever, like all his fntully ; but this
time he overdid the matter, as you will
fee.
Mrs. Squirrel had a new family of
Utile squirrels, and as soon as Mr. Fox
heard this, over he went to call on her.
"Oh, wliat handsome babies!" ex
claimed Mr. Fox when be saw the new
squirrels. "Your children are- the
handsomest In the woods, Mrs. Squir
rel. Tou may be sure of that," he told
her.
Now, It happened that on his way
home he was called In to Mrs. Rabbit's
house to see her hew babies, and Mr.
Fox told her that her children were by
far the prettiest he ever hnd seen, "the
very prettiest in the woods, Mrs. Bab
hit I" he told her.
The next day Mr. Fox heard that
some new little possums had been
brought to Mrs. Possum by the stork,
so over ran Mr. Fox to call, "for," said
he, "the best way to keep on good
terms with my neighbors Is to praise
the children to their mothers."
He told Mrs. Possum that her chil
dren were the prettiest In the woods,
and when Mrs. Coon sent for him to
(Copyright)
THOSE WINDOW ENVELOPES.
.
Whene'er they hand my mail to me
I look It over, quick.
As anxious as the deuce, to see
If fate baa played a trick
And sent me one with windowed side.
The address showing through.
I've always groaned when those I've
spied ,
They tell me something' due!
It may be from the grocer man.
It may be from the plumber;
It may be for the lovely tan
Top-coat I bought last summer.
But whatsoever goods 'tis for.
It makes me shudder still
Those things with that transparent door
Always contain a bllL
And so I look the letters o'er
With fear down in my heart
One may be from some grouchy store
i Down in the busy mart
Such cowardice may be a sin.
But I admit it still
Those envelopes with windows In
Always contain a bill!
F1NNIGIN FILOSOFY.
Nearly iverybody in th'
wurrld wild be honest if ha
thought th' other feller wasn't
gittin' ready t' do 'im.
HOW IT STARTED.
.There was a young fellow named RIker
Who when asked of his girl, "Do you
like her?"
Paid. "I'd give her my life!"
Then his friend started strife
By sneeringly saying, "You piker!"
Trying on His Patients.
A western doctor, carrying a
patient to a hospital In his car,
managed to stall his engine on the
railroad track In front of an ap
proaching train. Both doctor and
patient jumped from the car and
ran away like Jackrabbits. The
stalled-on-the-tracfe system may
be introduced into materia medl
ca or Immateria surglca, almost
any time, now.
Can It Be?
Dear Offngin Is It a fact that some
of the Bulgarian officers refused to
fight against Serbia and Russia be
cause they called them the Balkin
states?
FINNIGIN FILOSOFY.
Minny a bonehead out n of
fice is brighter than a ihmart
man in th' office t' hear th'
bonehead tell ut.
Whence Came His Fear.
"Why won't you go with us to
the ballet?" asked his roistering
companions.
"Because my father always used
to chastise me with orchard
switches, and I've been afrnid of
peach limbs ever since," replied
the thoughtful young man.
And they wondered for days
and days what he could have
meant
NOT WHITTIER'S.
Of all mad words from bookkeeping men,
The maddest are these: "Who's had this
' pen?"
mam
wuumgilliKL
see her new babies Mr. Fox told bet
the same thing.
Mrs. Porcupine and Mrs. Badger
also received a call from Mr. Fox. and
were told that no children In the
woods could compare with their new
Rabies, so that each mother thought
her children the prettiest babies, for
not one told to the other the nice
things Mr. Fox had said.
All would have gone well with Mr.
Fox If Mrs. Squirrel had not been Bul
lous that every one should know that
her babies were considered the pret
tlest and proposed that they should
hold a baby show and have Mr. Fox for
the judge.
To this, of course, all the mothers
agreed, for each one was sure hei
babies would get the prize.
Mrs. Squirrel frisked over to Mr.
Fox's bouse to tell him the news.
"Of course," she said, "It will be
great disappointment to the others
when you tell them that my children
are the prettiest, but It cannot be
helped. Some one must have the pret
tlest babies, and any .one with half an
eye can see that mine are fur ahead
of all the other wood children."
Mr. Fox smiled a sickly smile when
he heard this and said, of course, he
would be proud and pleased to be the
judge, but as soon as It was dark that
night he took his valise he did not
stop for a trunk or his household
goods nnd out of the woods he went,
far away over the hills, and never did
he show himself there again.
Well he knew what would happen
to him if he went to that baby show
and picked out the prettiest babies,
and he did not intend to take any
such risk.
When Mr. Fox did not show up, Mr.
Owl was called upon to judge, but
being a very wise bird he told the
mothers that he could not see well
enough In the daytime to give an
honest opinion, and so the mothers
went home each sure that her chil
dren were the prettiest babies in the
world. (Copyright)
Beauty Chats
By EDNA KENT FORBES
GOOD CHEER BEAUTY
A CHEERFUL mind helps digestion
A. and helps in the acquiring of
beauty. A sour-looking face Is never
lovely, the expression of bad will de
stroys even the prettiest of features.
The woman who is systematically
going about the task of Improving her
i 4 h
A Smile of Good Fellowship Goes a
Long Way Towards Beauty.
looks, must keep a cheerful and un
worried mind. For one reason, the
very expression of happiness will cre
ate an Impression of prettiness, and
will add much to her charm.
(Copyright)
0
May Be Warmer Next Winter.
A tabulation of the wintry weather
for about 50 years past shows that an
unusually violent winter Is usually
flanked on either side by a very mild
one.
0
Division of the Day.
The scheme of dividing the day Into
two parts of 12 hours has existed
since the time of Hipparchus, 150
years B. C.
0
What the Sphinx Says
By Newton Newklrk.
"It's said
there is
nothing In
this world
to be had
for noth
ing. How
about ad
vice? or do you consider that
NOTHING?"
IP? "A
By HOWARD U RAW
THE TIRE GUARANTEE
"THB pneumatic tire guarantee Is
X a mournful attempt to satisfy
people who object to buying uew tires
every time they run over a beer Dot
tie, This guarantee doee not cost any
thing uutll the man who owns it trlet
to collect a new casing on the strength
of a nine-Inch blowout caused by driv.
Ing over a pickle Jar. It then assumes
a threatening aspect, and has to be
mollified by paying the list price, with
express both ways added.
When a new tire Is bought for cash,
It Is guaranteed against various forma
of disease, any one of which may sap
Its vitality and cause It to pop open
in some unexpected place. It Is also
understood that the owner la to prop It
op occasionally with air. It is difficult
for a four-Inch tire to carry 3.8(H)
pounds of installment-plan automobile
and seven robust passenger on 60
pounds of air, without giving way at
some vital spot and spoiling an entire
evening for all concerned. If an ad
justment Is not made at once, on the
basis of a new casing and tube, the
local dealer will lose oue of the best
time customers in town.
The tire guarantee does not protect
the man who allows the Insidious sand
blister to crawl into the rasing through
a stone bruise and eat Its way down
to the demountable rim without Inter
ference, There are two .ways to treat
the sand blister. One Is to have it vul
ranized by some leisurely artisan, and
the other Is to open It up with a Jack
knife and wait for the grand finale
with a tight grip on the steering wheeL
Some tires are guaranteed longer
than others, and will last for several
years if not driven to excess. The
best way to preserve tires Is to drive
slowly around the block once a week
and then put the car to sleep on stilts
over night When a catalogue house
tire has been run 15,000 miles without
IT AttfAM To
rX KCrt
Cun e
foT
OWaeMTUt.!
I'm a OMrm peiwrt
l AM VOtl CAM hi fit
IT UUI t ACTT
Trie to Collect a New Casing on the
Strength of a Nine.lnch Blowout
Caused by Running Over a Pickle
Jar.
a puncture, it either proves that the
owner stole it from a truck or Is a
massive and ornate liar. People
would have less tire trouble If they
paid less attention to the guarantee
and more to the short crisp warnings
of the tire tester.
The best kind of a tire guarantee is
a mixture of plain mule sense along
with the ability to dodge between the
three-cornered rocks which strew the
highway. The man who sets his
brakes at 30 miles an hour and starts
bis car with a Jerk that would dislo
cate the neck , of a prize wrestler
doesn't need a guarantee so much as
he does a guardian ad litem.
(Copyright)
O
Jujft Folks
By EDGAR A. GUEST
A PATRIOTIC CREED.
To serve my country day by day
At any humble post I may;
To honor and respect her Flag,
To live the traits of which I brag;
To be American In deed
As well as in my printed creed.
To stand for truth and honest toIL
To till my little patch of soil
And keep In mind the debt I owe
To them who died that I might know
My country, prosperous and free,
And passed this heritage to me.
must always In trouble's hour
Be guided by the men In power;
For God and country I must live,
My best for God and country give;
No act of mine that men may scan
Must shame the name American,
To do my best and play my part,
American In mind and heart;
To serve the flag and bravely stand
To guard the glory of my land ;
To be American in deed,
God grant me strength to keep thil
creed.
(Copyright by Edgar A. Quest) '
0
Tired of Canned Stuff.
"Ilousecleanlng over?"
"Nearly."
"Suppose you're very glad."
"I certainly am. Sardines become
lghty tiresome as a regular diet"
t O .
Useful.
"Having any success with your ouiJa
board?"
les, Indeed. It makes a lovely
thing on which to stand flower
I I 5C W
pots.''
Kathlyn Williams ha th distinction
of being th first person to star In a
movl" serial, and hr work will be
remembered by (core who appreciated
her good work. Sh la no stranger te
th stag and ha appeared under lad-
ing management. Ml William I
on of Scrnland'a moat talented and
beautiful (tar.
0
Editor's Note. Platro'a mlaoncBntlnn
of ihA word "lnva" I a nr...... ,t.Au
woo are familiar with tennis. Th word,
a applied to that came, la commonly
used In keeping score, and I equivalent
u aero or nomina.
-NTHER day leetle girl aska me;
V- "Pletro, you know how play ten
nis?" I say no can play anytlng only
phoneegraph and da pinochle. Soma-
time try play da poker but no maka
access. She say: "Well, I Ilka
teacha you how play dat game leetle
bit huh?"
When she say gonna tnka me down
where da court e'es I say no wanta go.
I been court one time and ees cottta
me ten bucks maka too moocha hurry
weeth da lleever. Anyway we go een
place wot ees greata stult for keepa
da cbeeken. Greata beega fence alia
round weth leetle one eend da meedle
smalia fence ees earn a stuff una for
catcha da feesh.
She say "I geeva you racket, riefro.
for play weeth." I aska "wot's matter
we gotta maka racket for play desa
game?" I say too moocha noise maka
me excite, so mebbe besta way ees play
weethout da racket. She say, "Alia
right, I am gonna serve." I say eef
she serve I dreenk eet, I tlnk mebbe
she gonna serve somatlng weeth leetle
keek een. I dunno.
She getta one side da fence and I
getta other side. She knocks ball
straights my head and say, "Love feef
ateen." I say feefnteen to many for
lova one time no can do. She kuocka
one more ball and say, "Love tlrty."
I no say somatlng, hut I feegure ees
greata man eef lova tlrty all one time.
Nexa ball she say, "Lova forty." I
unno wot's matter dat girl: I tlnk
eef lova two, tree gotta hava plenty
amblsh, but for love forty ees too
moocha Job for one man.
After knocks two, three more ball
my frlen holler "Game!" Right back
I say, "Betta your life anybody whosa
lova feefateen or tlrty or forty one time
gotta be game. Mebbe gotja be twins
or Mormon to play dat game. I dunno.
Wot you tlnk?
O
Wlfey May Faint
Jones Ilello,. Doc. I wish yon
would go right on up to my house.
Doctor Certainly. Anything seri
ous?
Jones Not yet; but there may be.
I've Just sent up a load of coal.
Judge.
O
CROSBY'S KIDS
r oy
c
WDOHTimVYOU'vC BEEN THERE
..tut imhi ma
W-jft
Im I . i-u . i
3.
. o ... ...
Ltffe r t. i v.
Last Night's Dreams
-What They Mean
DID YOU DREAM OF TREES?
HM ETHOUGIIT that I hnd wan
ATA dtired fur In an old wood,"
say Tennyson In his "Drvain of Fair
Women," and Dante begins his won.
derful dream of hell in the "Divine
Comedy" with "In the midway or this
mortal life I found me in a gloomy
wood astray."
To dream of trees, or of being In
wood, is a very common occurrence to
many people while to other such
dreams are extremely rare. Freud In
his dream theory has what he calls a
dream censor" anil many. If not most,
of the other sclentlllc Investigators ac
cept 4he Freudlau theory in this re
Sect The theory Is that when we
leave our days of early childhood,
which are entirely "unmoral," we be
gin to accumulate a sense of shume,
morals, proprieties, convent Ions, etc.,
which sense becouips woven Into our
cimsclous being. Kren In sleep this
sense Is strong enough to assert It
self and so acta as a check upon the
more daring proceawe of the drenm
thought which, In order to get what
it wants to express past the censor, Is
obliged to niiike use of symbolism.
This may be true but If so we all,
even the best of us, have had dreams
In which the censor was evidently on
strike or asleep at the switch. A
dream of trees or woods would seem
Innocent enough hut the extremist
would explain It as something "put
over" on the censor.
With the mystics this drenm Is ono
of the oldest nnd most widespread of
prophetic visions. With certain modi
fications It Is held to be a most aus
picious omen to dream of trees. If
they are In lenf or flower success In
life, a happy marriage nnd ninny chil.
dren await you. If already married
look for, success In business. If A
sailor you mny expect a good voyage.
If yon climb a dream-tree you will go
far on the upward road, and If you
pick fruit from one you will receive
a legacy. But It Is bad luck to cut
down dream trees or to see them leaf
less or blasted.
(Copyright.)
O
Who's Who
Br GEORGE MATTHEW ADAMS
THERE Is one thing that you pos
sess, Oh Human Being you who
read this little Talk with which the
arbitrary selection ability of Blue
Books, and close corporatloned Club
Committees has nothing In common.
It Is your personal power of Charac
ter secrecy.
Most of the people we think we
now, we don't
So that our Judgment runs criss
cross. And often our little people are
in reality the world's big people and
our big people are the .world's ajlttle
people.
It Is the big, silent element which,
when fully realized inside a man's
Soul, gives dlglnlty and calm and
makes him fit and clean and great
courageous in the face of danger,
ralumny and duty.
Who's Who? Why I You are.
And the name of the man who cut
your clothes as well as the name of
the woman who washes them, may be
there. And there will be a glory
thrill for the patient and plodding, the
shut-ins and uncomplalners, as they
see their names In simple Gothic bold.
Who's Who? YOU I Most cer
tainly YOU, who lu the consciousness
ve anil express the best that Is in you
penly and unafraid and glad of the
realization of your secret power the
if
u
nw
I V I 'At 11
chance.
The C.Uty . J
V. W- - . ,,fcA
Mfy. "" !-.
tW f,, .
. ff alffi Kit "O ' .,
i(t M " ' . tee W the
Pla-v Sail !
Copyright.
Look to the human wrmka about u; lo,
Asout iholr IndiKMitun tww iliey blow;
And lay Die blame on ColTea. cril
cliwr,
Or say (he Crlp Hot Muffin la their Foal
-Myrtle tteeiL
Braikfaat Meats.
For those who enjoy something for
breakfast rather than the popular ba
con or ham, the following dinhes will
be suggestive:
Corned Beef Hash la Delmonlc.
Take equal parts of cold corned beef
and cooked potntoe; cut flue; season
with onion, salt and a tittle butter; add
pepjier and chopped green pepiierj
spread the hot hash on thinly sliced
toasted bread; slip a poached egg on
each and serve sprinkled with salt and
paprika and minced parsley,
Sunshln Cak.
Take the white of eight eggs, the
yolks of six, one cupful of sugar, one
cupful of flour, suit, vanilla and one
tcaHpoonful of cream of tartar. Beat
the whites until frothy, then add half
of the cream of tartar and flulnh beat
ing. Add the sugar gradually, beat
about Ave minutes, add yolks ami fold
In the flour. Bake In a slow oven 40
minute.
Beef Balls.
Put onehalf cupful of milk and two
tnhlespooiifuls of butter In the frying
pan; when It bolls add ono cupful of
mashed potatoes, one cupful of chop.
Jied beef, salt, pepper nnd a well,
beaten egg; stir and remove from the
lire. Let cool, and when ml IT shape In
to rakes; egg and crumb them when
well chilled, then fry In 'hot fat for
three minutes.
Frizzled Beef.
Take very thinly cut dried beef,
cover with cold water to which a pinch
of soda has been milled, nnd bring
gradually lo Hie boiling point. Drains
ndd a lump of butter und conk until
the edges of the beef curl. Serve on
slices of buttered toust with pouched
eggs laid over the beef.
Calf Brain.
Soak (he brains In cold water, par
boil; remove all membranes ; throw
Into cold water, drain, wipe nnd chill.
Dip In melted butter and broil. Scrva
with melted butter und lemon Juice,
garnished with parsley.
Parsley a la Creme.
Fry bacon as usual, crisp and brown.
Place on a platter In the oven, Make
a cream sauce, using the bnooii fut In
stead of butter. Pour over the bncon,
sprinkle with minced parsley and serve
at once.
Ham Toast
Take half a cupful of cooked ham,
finely minced; add half a tenspoonful
of anchovy paste, a bit of cayenne
and mace. Add one-half cupful of milk
and 'an egg, well beaten. Stir until
thick; take from the Are nnd spread
on dry buttered toast. A poached egg
may be placed on each If desired.
(Copyright, 1120, Waatern N.w.papor Union )
O
JTANT'MAfiY
The-month -of
bridea -again.' We)),
Im'diicooraqed,
.CONFESS
But-IUbopt'OD.
Hope j 'Me. a
cat -IT' HAS
NINE LIVES
J'GUESSI