NOVEMBER 22, 1917
PAGE 2
CROOK COUNTY JOURNAL
CROOK COUNTY JOURNAL
BY GUY LAKOLLKTTE
Bntered at ihe postofflce at
Prlnevlllo, Oregon, second-clan
natter.
riBUSHED EVKRV THURSDAY
Price $1.50 per year, payable
triclly In advance. In case of
change of addreaa please notify us
at once, giving both old and new
address.
fHIS paper represented for foreigi
ADVERTISING BY THE
GENERAL. OFFICE
NEW YORK AND CHICAGO
BRANCHES IN ALL THE PRINCIPAL CITIES
ncation.
In class one, which will be called
first we find three well known
characters, all of the type of man
who never can find a Job for him
self, and it seems that his I'ncle
Samuel has easily found a job tor
him.
They are: men who do not sup
port their wives, men whose wives
unnort them, and men whose wives
' have an independent Income ' from
which they are supported.
The fellow who has failed to as
sume the responsibility of this world
will assist In protecting those of the
nation, and In many Instances it
will be a great thing for the com
munity In which he resides, and his
wife as well.
i
!
BE LOYAL
The, three years of struggle that
European countries have suffered
hss brought to most of them inter
nal strife and revolution, that is
being caused by the enemies of
those countries working through
classes of people that questioned the
government and the people In power
supporting it.
There are in the United States a
number of elements that are not
over loyal in times of peace, and it
has been the habit of the govern-
ment officials to ignore these people
and their expressions.
Just now the situation is quite
different, and if anyone is. not ex
actly In sympathy with the presi
dent and his cabinet, it shows good
Judgment at least to say very little
about it.
The real test for 'this country
will not come this year but will
follow after two or three years of
fighting and the trials that come
with these hardships.
The United States government
will no doubt profit in the experi
ence of other nations, and deal very
harshly with those who are out
spoken against it.
We are in this war to win, will
win, and in so doing the real
Americans and those who are much
less will be easily discernable.
A JOB FOR HIM
The new draft regulations are out
;and they provide for five different
classes of men who will be called
Into service In their order of classi-
SATAX ABDICATES
Louis Svberkrop, of Creslon
Iowa, wrote the following satire on
Kaiser Wllhclra. Peoplo In every
state In the Union and in Canada
have asked for copies:
Ottumwa, Iowa
"The Infernal Region
June S8. 1917
"To Wilhelm von Hoheniollern
Kin of Prussia. Emperor of all
Germany and Envoy Extraordln
ary of Almighty God:
"Mv Dear Wilhelm:
"I can call you by that familiar
name for I have always been very
close to you, much closer than you
could ever know.
"From the time that you were a
undeveloped being In your mother1
womb I have shaped your destiny
for my own purpose.
"In the days of Rome I created
roughneck known In history as
Nero. He was a vulgar character
and suited my purpose at that par
ticular time. In these modern dayi
a classic demon and efficient super
criminal was needed and as I know
the Hoheniollern blood I picked
you as my especial instrument to
place on earth an annex of hell. I
gave you abnormal ambition, like
wise an over supply of egotism that
you might not discover your own
failings; I twisted your mind to
that of a madman with certain
normal tendencies to carry you by
a most dangerous character placed
In power. I gave you the power of
a hypnotist and a certain magnetic
force that you might sway your
people. I am responsible for the
deformed arm that hangs helpless
on your left, for your crippled con
dition embitters your life and de
stroys all noble impusles that might
otherwise cause me anxiety; but
your strong sword arm is driven by
your ambition that squelches all
sentiment and pity. I placed In your
soul a deep hatred tor all things
English, for of all nations on earth
I hate England most; where Eng
land plants her flag she brings or
der out of chfcos and the hated
Cross follows the Union Jack. Under
her rule wild tribes become tillers
of the soil and in due time practical
MAZOLA
the pure oil from Con) for
better cooking
MS.
J
enames the housewife to save butter,
lard, suet, in accordance with the plans of
Food Administrator Hoover.
Get a can of Mazola from your grooer
and try it for deep frying, sauteing, short
ening or salad dressings.
Then you will understand why thousands
of American housewives have discarded
their former cooking mediums.
Your money refunded if Mazola
does not give entire satisfaction.
Corn Products Refining Company
17 Battery Place
SeDiat BtpnttoiitlTM
Johnson, Lieber
Company
Portlud, Oreg
New York
i " 3
MIKE TRAPMAN
Home Builder and Cabinet Maker
ALL CABINET WORK MADE IN f
MY OWN SHOP WITH
MACHINERY
Shop on East Sixth Street
PRI NEVILLE, OREGON
rititena; she is the great ctviltser
of the globe and I HATE UKR. I
planted in your soul a cruel hatred
for your mother because SHK was
English and 'left my good friend
llismarck to fan the flume I had
kindled. Recent history proves how
well our work was dune. It broke
your royal mother's heart, but I
gained my purpose.
The inherited disease of the
Ilohcniollerns killed year father.
Just as it will kill you. nml you tie-
nine the ruler of Germany and a
tool of mine sooner than I expected.
"To assist you and your father
hasten my work, I sent you three
evil spirits Nletsche, Treltschke and
later Bernhardt, whoso teachings
inflamed the youth of Germany, whol
In good time would be willing and
loyal subjects and eager to spill
their blood and pull your chestnuts
yours and mine. The spell has
been perfect; you cast your ambi
tious eyes toward the Mediterran
ean, Egypt, India and the Darda
nelles and you began your great
railway to Bagdad, but the ambi
tious duke and his more ambitious
wife stood In your way. It was
then I sowed the seed in your heart
that blossomed into the assassina
tion of the Duke and his wife, and
all bell smiled when It saw how
leverly you saddled the crime onto
Servta. I saw you set sail for the
fjords of Norway and I knew you
would prove an alibi. How cleverly
done ; so much like your noble
grandfather, who also secured an
assassination to remove old King
Frederick of Denmark, and later
robbed that country of two prov
inces that gave Germany an oppor
tunity to become a naval power.
Murder is dirty work, but it takes a
Hoheniollern to make away and
get by.
"Your opportunity was at hand.
You set the world on fire and bells
of hell were ringing. Your rape on
Belgium caused much Joy. It was
the beginning, the foundation of
hell on earth. The destruction of
noble cathedrals and other Infinite
works of art was hailed with Joy
in the Infernal regions. You made
war on friends and foes alike and
the murder of civilians showed my
teachings had borne fruit. Your
treachery toward neutral nations
hastened a universal upheaval, the
thing I most desired. Your under
sea warfare is a maBter stroke.
From the smallest mackerel pot to
the great Lusitania you show no
favorites. As a war lord you stand
supreme, for you nave no mercy,
you have no consideration for the
baby clinging to its mother's breasts
as they both go down Into the deep
together, only to be torn apart and
devoured hy sharks down among
the corals.w
"I have strolled over the battle
fields of Belgium and France. I
have seen your hand of destruction
everywhere; it's all your work,
super-fiend that I made you. " I
have seen the fields of Poland, now
a wilderness fit for prowling beasts
only. No merry children In Poland
now. They all succumbed to frost
and starvation. I drifted down into
Galicia where formerly Jews and
Gentiles lived happily together. I
found but ruins and ashes. I foil a
curious pride in my pupil for it was
all above my expectation. I was in
Belgium when you drove the peace
ful population before you like tat
tle Into slavery. You separated
man and wife and forced them to
hard labor in trenches. I have seen
the most fiendish rape committed
on young women and those who
were forced into maternity wore
cursing the father of their offspring
and I began to doubt if my own
Inferno was really up-to-date.
"You have taken millions of dol
lars from Innocent victims and
called It Indemnity. You have lived
fat on the land you usurped and
sent the real owners away to starva
tion. You have strayed away from
all legalized war methods and In
troduced a code of your own. You
have killed and robbed the people
of friendly nations and destroyed
their property. You are a liar, a
hypocrite and a' bluffer of the high
est magnitude. You are a part of
mine, and yet you pose as a personal
friend of od. Ah, Wilhelm, you
are a wonder. You wantonly de
stroy all thijgs in your path and
leave notning lor coming generations.
I was amazed when I saw you
form a partnership with the Impos
sible Turk, the chronic killer of
Christians, and you a devout wor
shipper in the Lutheran church. 1
confess, Wilhelm, you are a puzzle
to me. A mohammedan army, com
manded by German officers, assist
ing one another In massacring
Christians, In a new line of warfare.
When a Prussian officer can witness
a nude woman being disemboweled
by a swarthy Turk, commitlng a
double murder with one cut of his
sabre, and calmly stand by and see
a house full of innocent Armenians
locked up, the house saturated with
oil and fired, then my teachings did
not stop with you, , but have been
extende to the whole German na
tion. I confess my Satanic soul
03
I
if
I
Headquarters for
Mince Meat Supplies
Our Prices
Sweet Cider, per gallon : 50c
Preferred Stock Seeded Raisins, pkg. 15c
Citron Peel, per tb 30c
Orange Peel, per lb ... 30c
Lemon Peel, per tb 30c
Bulk Seediest Raisin, per tb 15c
Cove Orchard Apples, per box $1.65
At present no Currants are on the market
We will have a full supply of fresh
vegetables for the Thanksgiving table on
display.
MICHEL GROCERY CO.
H
x
7
grew sick and there and then I
knew the pupil had become the
master. I am a back number and,
my dear Wilhelm, I abdicate In
your favor. The great key of Hell
will be turned over to you. The
gavel that has struck the doom of
damned soujs since time began Is
yours. I am satisfied with what I
have done, that my abdication In
your favor Is for the very best In
terests of hell In the future I am
at your majesty's service.
Affectionately and sincerely,
Lucifer H. Satan."
JOHN J. PRICE
Confectionery, Ice Cream, Cigars
and Tobacco. Agent for the Ore-'
gonian. First door noith of Lyric
CHANDLER SIX
Choose the Chandler
Because It Offers
So Much More
BY people who, are familiar with motor car values the
Chandler is most commonly compared with high-priced
cars, because. In so many essential features of design, con
struction and equipment, It checks so closely with the high
priced cars. And because so few, if any, of these distinctively
high-grade features are found in other cars selling for less
than $2000.
. Yet the Chandler price is only $1595.
The intelligent automobile purchaser is not misled by
further threatened price advances of cars striving to maintain
some degree of a leadership that has passed.
There have been some necessary price advances within the
year. And some unnecessary ones.
If you choose carefully from among well-known medium
priced cars you will choose the Chandler, because of its
extraordinary value. " ,
Seven-Passenger Touring Car, St 595
Four-Passenger Roadster, S1595
Seven-Passenger Convertible Sedan, $2295
Four-Passenger Convertible Coupe, $2195 Limousine', $2895
All prices f. o. b. Cleveland, Ohio .
i. '
Let Us Show You How the Chandler
Checks with High-Priced Cars
INLAND AUTO CO
CHANDLER MOTOR CAR COMPANY, Cleveland, O.
r n M 1 1 i i ! i i 1 1 i i i i i i n i i i i i i i i i i 1 1 1 i 1 1 1 i m i i i n 1 1 i i 1 1 1 i 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 i 1 1 1 i i 1 1 i i 1 1 ii 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 mini