The
Scrap Book
Playino Off Tie.
The last scene in the fashionable life
of the Count D'Orsay a told In Mr.
ToieamouTQ Shore's biography of hlni:
Jut before the dinner hour a pastry
cook's nor presented himself at Gore
House with dish,
ent In. so he said,
by the confection
er. Having left
this in tbe kltch
en, he deliberate
ly walked upstairs
to the count's
dressing room.
"Well, who's
that?" asked
OOrsay.
It was a sher
ifTs oCicer.
-Really !" ex
cla lined D'Orsay
I -i; aa& demanded
yZ' that he should be
permitted to com
plete tbe tying of
his tie. Salon or
rex which was kx-
xcTTxn.
prison, his tie must be perfect
"But count"
"Rah. bah! All in (rood time."
Tbe officer was quite Interested In
the tying of that tie. Few men bad
been so honored as to be allowed to
see how D'Orsay tied bis tie. and. lo,
by the time tbe tie was tied the sun
bad sunk to rest and D'Orsay was free
till sunrise.'
"John." said D'Orsay, calmly walk
ing off to the drawing room, "kick this
chap out of tbe door."
The which was executed, and the
writ was not
Example.
We scatter seeds with eueleas hand
And dream ws ne'er shall see them mora.
Bat for a thousand years
Their fruit appears
In weeds that mar ths land
Or healthful store.
The deeds we do, the words we say.
Into still air thty seem to fleet
We count rhem ever past
But they shall last
In the dread judgment they
And we ahall meet.
I chance thee by the years gone by.
For the love's sake of brethren deer.
Keep thou the one true way.
In work and play.
Lest m that world their cry
Of woe thou hear.
John Kebla.
Easily Improved.
There was no getting away from
the fact Flossie's face was ugly.
Even her best friends told her so
and seldom visited ber without offer
ing her advice
or snggestlng
some kind of
remedy. But nei
ther paint nor
powder nor paste
nor patent prepa
ration was of tbe
lightest use.
Flossie's face con
tinued to be tigly,
and ber friends
continued to tell
her so.
At last she con
sulted a specialist
"I am willing,"
she said, "to pay
cossclted a
ciaust.
you anything if yen will only make
me beautiful. I should like you to
start on my nose. Can you improve
It?"
The specialist looked at it thought
fully. Flossie's nose was her weakest
point Leaning back In his chair and
half closing his eyes, in his best pro
fessional manner, he. said:
"Well, madam. 1 can't guarantee to
make It really beautiful, but I couldn't
help Improving it if 1 hit It with a
mallet."
Sounded Like a Joke.
Hiss Christie Macdonald has been
taking boxing lessons, so the other
olght she was fully prepared when,
upon leaving the theater, she was in
sulted by one of the loiterers.
Rejoicing in ber newly acquired
knowledge. Miss Macdonald landed a
right hand blow which sent tbe of
fender sprawling.
Towering above him. she Indignantly
said, "How dare you Insult a defense
less woman?" and wrathful ly passed
en.
The brute then looked np and simply
murmured. "DefenselessT loungs
Magazine.
At the Jumping Off Plsce.
Colonel John H. Carroll, the Burling
ton railroad lawyer, was in Washing
ton last winter and. neediug the serv
ices of a man to travel with him in
his private car. hired a good looking
and well recommended young fellow
from Virginia whom he happened to
meet
The man's name was Gilbert, and he
never had been od a railroad train ex
cept to come up from his Vinrinla
home to Washington. He traveled
fc-itb the colonel back and forth he
ween Washington and New Tork
New York and Cliicuso and Chicago
and St. Louis and rode a zcxi deal on
the observation end of tlic car. All
the roads the car went over were two
ftack or four track roads.
Not long ago the coioaei had bis enr
switched off on a siu-'e tra. k ro;d in
u:uo uunng me night. When fV.one! !
Carroll awoke In the moniinj and
went out to the observation end of tije
car he found Gilbert conteuip'ittins
the single track with ni'icii Interest.
v oionet. tie said, "this here r:ti!
ro-.id seems to run onlv one w.iv.
are we goin' to it back Saur-Aiy
EveuiL:;; Tost
Iff
I The
Scrap Book
Cod Bless Our Wives.
One of (he beet known lawyers in
Cleveland atteuded a banquet of his
fraternity the other nlcht and respond
eil to the toast. "Our Wires." On this
classic and congenial theme he ex
panded and fairly glowed. Hut even
after his eloquence fades from the
memories of those present one er
son?! note will remain. He said in
part:
"liod bless our wives. They know
us from alpha to onieca, our secret
faults and virtues. But they rise In
arms against him who would expose
the former or belittle the latter. How
well I remember an occasion upon
which my own dear wife bad uie paged
in a restaurant where I was eating.
She said to the waiter. 'Is Mr. Dash
blank herer 'Mr. Dashblank! asked
the waiter. 'Is be that fat old man
with a red nose and bald heady
" 'Tes. that's the man.' answered my
wife. 'But I want you to understand
that he Isn't fat and he Isn't old. And
he's not very bald, either. I shall re
port you for your Insolence. His nose
Isn't a bit red. Get him for tue at
once. Tou evidently know nlm.'
"God bless our wives." Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Two Ways Hath Life.
Two ways hath Ufa. One as a stream
with flowers environed quits the source.
The even tenor of Its course.
Hardly betrayed by tranilent glem.
rvo echo marks the onward roll
Of waves that without plaint or slab.
Winning scant glance from passerby,
L'nhastlns reach the appointed coal.
One as a torrent unconflned
Bursts forth headlong with freniled
wilL
No agency Its rage can still.
Nor barriers curb, nor forces bind.
The first achieves, the second alms;
One limits hath, the other none.
With every day its task begun
Pittlenee, ambition, are their names.
-Alfred de UuueL
Jogged His Memory.
Here Is tbe story of an actual experi
ence In buying socks In London:
A wealthy but peppery American
went Into an expensive Bond street
haberdasher's the other day. and when
be stated his object the clerk carefully
measured tbe visitor's right foot, and
the purchase was made. On his way
out the visitor's attention was caught
by some hosiery near the door. To the
clerk, who was obsequiously follow
ing him out. be said, "I'll take a pair
of those too."
"Yes, sir." said the clerk. "What
size do you wear, air?"
"Why. you pinheaded ass." remind
ed the other, "do you think my foot
has grown since you measured it?"
Then the clerk remembered. New
Tork Sun.
Bungled It After Alt.
Here's one of Will Irwin's stories,
tbld in that quiet drawling fashion
which scores every point Two of his
feminine friends. It appears, were
walking down the street the other day.
when they noticed another woman just
in front of them. "That lady's waist
is unbuttoned In the ba k." said one to
the other. "I believe I'll speak to her
about It."
Tu,e other looked over the uncon
scious subject of comment. Then she
shook her head. "I don't believe that
I would say anything to her." said she.
"I doubt If she Is the kind of person
who would appreciate your kindness.
She isn't very neatly got up, don't you
see? Her shoes are horribly run down
at tbe heel."
"1 don't care," said Mr. Irwin's ac
quaintance. "Any woman would be
glad of a warning that her waist is
unbuttoned. I don't care if she doesn't
seem to be a very nice person. I shall
call her attention to It"
"And so," said Mr. Irwin, "she walk
ed up to the stranger and tapped her
on the shoulder. As the woman turn
ed she said. Just as sweetly as she
knew how: 'Pardon me. But did you
know that your shoes are run down at
the heel ? "-Herbert Corey in Cincin
nati Times-Star.
Ths Misting Bed.
The bouse dated from the fifteenth
century, and visitors were permitted
to go over it for sixpence a bead. Of
course Queen Elizabeth had slept
there, and the boy in buttons who eon
ducted tbe party mentioned this three
times in tbe sacred bedchamber. Most
of the furniture had a look of the pe
riod, though there were a few doubt
ful embroideries.
"And where," one of the visitors
asked, "is the bed In which Queen
Elizabeth slept?"
Tbe boy in buttons hesitated a mo
ment and then said, "That's being
made, sir."
Turned ths Joke,
The following story is told of an
English military officer In the Chinese
army: Being visited by some friends,
the captain, to show the high state of
Sisclpline of bis command, sounded a
nigbt alarm. The troops turned out
with commendable alacrity and fell
Into their places, ready for emergencies,
but when they discovered the cause
of this sudden Interruption to their
dreams they laughed heartily, think
ing it a good Joke. The worthy captain
was elated at his success and deteruiin
I ed to repeat the experiment Soon
after he Invited another party of
j friends to witness the performance.
; and the alarm was sounded at dead of
night but not a soldier appeared, while
roars of laughter from the tents show
ed that the joke was on the men's
side tills time.
The
Scrap Book
Rank Cheating.
Speaking of family poker parties.
this really happened in Clovelaud, say
the Plain Dealer.
A young tunn-lcd couple attended
such a session at the borne of a neigh
bor out on the edge of Colllnwood the
other night And ' when thla young
couple got home the female end of the
sketch said:
"Jim. I hate to say anything about
tbe Halls they socio to be nice people.
But I'm afraid they cheat at cards."
"Nonsense P"
"I knew you'd say thnt. and It's dear
of you to le so unsuspecting. But
well, what was the price of the chips
tonight? Fire cents each? That's what
I thought Jim. I examined those chips
carefully, and they're the very same
thing that I could have bought at
Jones' store for a dollar a hundred, lu
all three colors tool"
Why Rsplnsr
Why, why repine, my pensive friend.
At pleasure ellpt away?
Borne the stern fates wUI never lead
And all refuse to atay.
I see the rainbow In the sky,
Ths dew upon the grass.
I see them, and 1 ask not why
They glimmer or they pass.
With folded arms I linger not
To call them back; 'twere vain.
In this or 'n some other spot
I know they'll shine again.
-W. Lander.
A Phenomenon.
He was an odd character about town,
n was known as Tommy and was
tolerated because of his quaint ways.
Tommy got pneumonia and bad a long
siege In tbe hospital, where they treat
ed bim so well that be was much
averse to the prospect of being die
charged as "cured."
One day the doctor In charge was
taking his temperature, and while
Tommy had tbe thermometer lo his
mouth the doctor moved on and hap
pened to turn bis back. Tommy saw
his chance. He pulled the thermome
ter out of hla mouth and popped it Into
a cup of hot tea. replacing it in his
mouth at the first sign of the medico
turning.
When that worthy examined the
thermometer be Jumed a foot, looked
at Tommy, then back to the t ber mom
eter and finally gasped:
"Well, my man. you're not dead, but,
by Jove, you ought to lie!"
Royal Humor,
The late King Leopold II. of Bel
glum once made a quick answer to a
radical deputy who had suld of the
king that be would make an admira
ble president of a republic.
"ltenlly?" replied the king, with his
most Ingenuous air. "Really? Do you
know. I think I shall pay a compli
ment In your style to my physician.
Dr. Thirler. who is coming to see me
presently. I shall say. 'Thirler, you
are a great doctor, nnd I think yon
would make an excellent veterinary
aurgeou.
A Surprise For Horace Greeley.
In the early days of the suffragist
movement Miss Susan It. Anthony
had no more bitter opponent than
Horace Greeley. It was for a long
time his custom to wind up all de-
hate with the conclusive remark.
"The best women 1 know do uot wmit
to vote."
When the New York constitution
was being altered III IstiT Miss An
thony laid a train for hltn. She wrote
to Mrs. Greeley nnd persuaded the
editor's wife not only to sign a peti
tion for womnn's suffrage herself, but
to circulate the paiwr and get .'Inn
signatures among her acquaintances.
In the committee Mr. Greeley, who
was chairman, bad listened to the de
bate and prepared to Introduce to the
convention an adverse report. He was
Just about to utter his usual "settler"
when George William Curtis rose.
"Mr. Chuirtnnn." said he. "I hold In
my hand a petition for suffrage signed
by 300 women of Westchester, headed
by Mrs. Horace Greeley."
The chairman's eniburrassment could
hardly be controlled. He hail found
at least one of "the best women 1
know" wanted to vote, but he re
venged himself later upon tbe lenders
by scathing editorials.
0ns of Currsn's Witticisms.
Curran once had as colleague In a
case a remarknbly tall and slender
man, who had originally Intended to
take holy orders. When the Judge ob
served that the case Involved a ques
tion In ecclesiastical law, Curran said.
"I can refer your lordship to the high
authority behind me. who was once
intended for the church, though In my
opinion be Is fitter for the steeple."
A Comedy of Errors.
When Baron naussmnnn went to
Constantinople on a visit to Abdul
Aziz, who was then sultan, he bad an
Interview with the grand vizier, who
did not know a word of French. At
the beginning of tbe Interview the old
long Turkish pipes were brought In,
and then Baron Haussmann began
making a very long speech In French,
the grand vizier could not understand
a word, but listened most attentively
till he noticed that bis pipe li.nl gone
out and clapped his hand for n servant
to come and relight It. Ilaussmaun.
thinking he was applauding, rushed
toward him with outstretched iIIHi
Intending to slinke bands and ilmiik
him The grand vizier, seeing his
hand put forth, shook it wannlv mid
said "Goodby." under the Impression
It was Hausstiiatm's Intention lu 'erne,
and quitted the room.
Pi)
X for the enjoyment of your family.
It is an "investment". One that
pays ng dividends in happiness and
provides a liberal musical education.
Come in and hear
this $75 Yictor
Yictrola and find out
about our plan that
enables you to enjoy
it while you are pay
ing for it.
-f.v
Crook County Jewelry and Sporting
Goods
Complete line of Fishing
Elgin, Hampden, Illinois, South Bend and
other High Grade Movements.
Newly Furnished Throughout Rooms 50c. 75c, $1
European and American Plan. New Manasamsnt
HOTEL OREGON
Louis E. Dudrey, Mgr.
PRINEVILLE,
Best Meals in Central
Cooking. Family Style.
Statement of Resources and Liabilities of
The First National Bank
Of Prineville, Oregon
HKHOt'UI'ICM
ln and titnoonnta... -i!M,S36 03
' UntUia HtalM Honda 12JVW on
RtnknmlMMtc HMO 13
Cub A lu from banks 2lo,u 04
VM,VU It
B. P. AlUa, Pra.id.nt
WUI Wunw.iU,. Vic PrMldaat
Paint Your Home!
While White Lead and Oil is Cheap
We sell Pioneer White Lead at 10c per pound in
50 pound lots and up. Best on the Pacific Coast.
Boiled Linseed Oil at 85c per gallon. Guaranteed pure.
We have a lot of Cedar doors, different sizes, in
5-Pnnel and regular 4-Panel, 1 1 in. and 1 8 in.
thick. All AI goods which sell for $150 and $1.75.
All Prices Subject to Change Without Notice.
A. H. Lippman & Co.
Eggs for Mntdiing,
S. C. Ilrown LckIiimii won M, p,,,
nl. 1!II2 ciimiiI.v fair; Miritj flrxlH, inn
x "i't, line third on mm jh.m m, ( ,., j
tiHincI I'oullry Mhotv, KkK" tl.fi
per Ifi; tli per hundred. Ilu Ornli
liiKl'in vk 1 Ml per Id, II, l W11,
llolT, I'rllllivllle, Ore, ;i 11 (p
You can't think of a bet
ter way to invest $75 than
bv uvttiiv'aVietor-Vietrola
1 if"1 1
JJ Victor- I
f Vii'trolaX I 0t,r
$75 HI "iSto
Store
Tackle. Watchei Waltham,
OREGON
Oregon, 35 Cents.
ome
I.IAHII.ITIKS
capital hums:, paid In ao.000 00
Hurplua limit, aarned Hum 00
UndlTlditd profits, earned V7.TJ4 M
Circulation .00 oo
Dapoalte , M,ow M
1
T. M. BaMwIa, CukUr
H. Baldwin, Aaa't CaahkW
State Veterinarian.
The Htnlo Votorinitrian is soon to visit
I'rlmiville; any cusos of horse or cattle
iliaeaHH or hog cholora reported to this
n 111 1:0 will rocoive careful attention,
(i. iSl'lllNdBIl,
County judge of Crook county.
Frofasstr.ttal Cards,
Alwtrncla.
Itisurnnce'
Tot J. H. lUner Abitract Co.
Im-oriMirsisd
I'rliievllle, Ore.
Form I, onus.
Bonds.
Law Office of
W. P. MYERS
Kamitre Bid's, Prineville, Ore
Dr. Charles .Muc.'nddcn
Osteopathic Physician
Hvshlc. liMfftta nnd Nnitint THeratMnlUca
kiiipluvisl. nirtiiilp hlir.iM Mpeolaliy
Olflce in Ksm.tr Blent.
TsUphooei Pioneer. No. 129.
Prof. A. W. Grater,
Divine Healer
Olllce In Morris HutMlng three doors
ninth ol Journal utiles.
Prineville, Oregon
D. H. PEOPLES
Gvil and Irrigation Engineer
Konm II Adeinaon Hlii'g
Prineville, Ore.
104
Dr. Howard (iovc
Dentist
Crook County Bonk Buildin,
Cm lit
C J. C-m. JT. P. a,4nmfi
X'fUl.tXTH
ZBslknap dt Cdwards
(County I'hyalcisn.)
T. 1'. J. DUI I V
Attornry'-mt- Law
(Huca-Mor t" W. A. IU.II)
Psinsviils ... Oman
C C. XriM
X'Sm.ihw
Cttmt
Vseea mmJ Smrfm
('4LL Amwsaan faoarrts tut oa Niaur
orrtcaoMa Ikiua hiiTM or Aiuttauit'a
liatie Nroaa. Moth nfltca an rvaj.
denoa Ulepaono.
Prim .ml I,. . . Orfm
V. A. HLLL
l-Kwycr
The Dsllni
Orason
7.
Cui.tt,
mt-Xmm
mill..
Willard II. Wirtz
Attorney -nt-I.iiw.
Olllco In M. It. HIukh' oltlt'P.
I'lll.NKVIl.I.E OlIKdtIN
C. 33rink
JLawytr
J llrt.l. Prlm.nil.,
Ortf.m.
J. Trcgcllcs Fox
M. R. 0. H. Knu: and U H.
A. !onlnn:
LineiiceeOrvKon Htt Mnllcal
Hoard.
Hoeclnlliit In Huriwv: Hvirii-na: All-
nicntarT Canal: women and alilldren'a
diMraaca. rui
omon and n.Mldnon Third atnwt niar Court
Houan. mi.: i'lmuwr, t'ulla ii"werv
promptly, iilslil or day. t,'lmrsa modamia
HAVE YOU
Filed your Deed? Of Course.
HAVE YOU
An Abstract)
Cortilnly everyone has an abstract now.
Do you know where youf corners nre.
Well, No, Not exactly.
Brewster Engineering Company,
Prineville, Orexon, will locato them (or
you and KU'iraiitoe the work. Survey
ing I'lttttlnK, Irrigation Engineering.
Dions Pioneer 204.
If) fa F l-tx'fto meets everytues.
V. U. 1. UBy night,
Strangers welcome.
Unci. Noiilk, N. Q.j I?f.W Barnis,
V. (j. j T. 1j. Coon, Bee. ; C. ii. Him wid
die, Trreas
Notice to Creditors.
Notice Ih hereby nlven tiv the un.
derHlKtied, the udiiiltilstratrlx of the
estate of Joseph II, Delore, deceiiHcil,
to the creditors ol suld eHtute anei
all perHotiH having claims aw'tnst
the same to present such clalina to
the undersigned at the ofllee of T. K.
.1. uiiuy, in rnnevllle, Crook county,
Oregon, within six months from tile
llrst publication of thin notice.
Dated and piihllNhed the flret tlinu
this lath day of March, 191.1.
Viroinia Dki.oiik,
AdmliilHtratrlx of the entato of
Joseph H. Delore, iliwiwed. 3-13-71
Property for Sale.
Mrs. Walter O'Nell's homo, lnrt)
parcel of l.ml, nlno-rooin house,
K:d bam, chicken holme and other
mitbiilldliiKH. A buririitn. I'art
terniH. Cull or wrllo Mum. Wai.tkb
O'Niiii,, I'rliK'Vllle, Ore. 3-2(Mt
1