The
Scrap
Book
Tool.' Stamp.
Seymour Ilu-k in his book of reral
llmnrri tolls this story about the
great Knslisn comedian ami practical
Joker, TooU:
I rtwetutier K'lns In London with
llm once w hon ho wont Into the Ron
eral postortioe and askod for a penny
lamii. The clerk brought out a huge
hoot and Toole said. 'I want that
no.'
" Whl. h one?' Mid tho olork.
"That one. said Toole, pointing to
the oontor ono.
".V Ions argument ensued, Toolo say
iig that in purchasing a stamp ho hud
a perfect rislit In law to choose tho
one he fancied, and so emphatic was
ho ou the point that he had his war,
but not before ho had created a dis
turbance and clerks from other coun
ters had left their work to see what
was going on."
Open th. Door.
Open the door of your heart, my lad.
To the tuitcel of love and truth
H'hen h world 1j full ot unnumbered i
joys
In the beautiful dawn of youth. j
Casttnar aside all thin that mar.
Saying to wrons. "lVpart!"
To the voices of hope that are calling you
Open ti-.e door of your heart. j
Open the door of your heart, my lass.
To the things that shall abide.
To th holy thoughts that lift your soul
Like the stars at eventide,
U ti:e f.;dHess tiow ers that bhrnra
In tiie re.ilms of sons and art
Are V'liirs if you U only Kive them room.
Oven the door of your he.irt.
Coert the door of your heart, my friend.
llecilt ss of c!:s ai.d cived,
TV ht;n y.vu hear the ery of a brother's voice,
Tho soh of a snit in m-ed.
To the biiisrir-K tuavens Ural o'er you bend
You nerd no man nor chart.
But only the love of the Matter.
Oren Lie door of vour heart.
Edward Everett Hale.
THE MAGIC BOTTLE.
It Told a Tale, Yet the Wife Didnt
Chide Her Husband.
When the youtiit couple married a
friend who laid claims to oolnir aome
what of magician presented them
with tall bottle of transparent liquid.
Instructing theiu to place it upon their
mantel and explaining that If either of
them ever daivd 10 liirt tlte cotitenls
of Ihe bottle would assume a murky
color.
After thoy had hu married a year
the wife went to (he seashore for a
vacation, in her alwonoo iter huslmnd
freiiucutly entertained a group of
bachelor fihmus with amusement
thoronsltly Iwcln-lor-like, but Innocent
?uou;h. The guests Inquired as to the
slsrnitioanee of the tall botile ou th
nitititel, but the host persistently iv
fiiscil to divuiw the s.vrot. Finally
on the night before the day set for
his wife's return he explained the
meaiiiiig of the mysterious bottle,
tine of the guests, who was much
given to practical joking, surreptitious
ly removed the cork of the bottle. Into
which he emptied the contents of his
fountain neti. When the bottle had
been thoroughly shaken It was re
placed upon the mantel and carefully
concealed behind a larga photograph.
The ue.tt day after the wife had re
lumed In dusting the mantel she re
moved the photograph, thus revealing
the tall bottle w ith Its sable contents.
She very promptly took the bottle to
the sink, emptied it, rilised It out thor
oughly, filled It with clear water and
replaced It on the mantel.-Judge.
A Heartbreskcr.
At a dinner last winter one of N'ew
York's prominent hankers was dilat- ,
big on the dangers of deceit. Hy way
ef illustration he told of a society wo
man who saw in a jeweler's window a ;
beautiful collar of pearls, which she
wanted very much, t'pon inquiry she ,
learned the price was $UXW. There- j
npon she gave her check for S3.000. J
aying she would send her husband to '
lee the iearls, and If he could be per- '
iunded to buy them he was to be told :
the price was only 1.000.
The jeweler, being familiar with that !
sort of game, readily agreed. The bus- j
hand called during the day to see the '
mtfirta on1 tli, umniiift tnM Ilia wife
K1- .mix . .
he had bought them, since they were
evidently such a bargain. His wife
was more than delighted and immedi
ately asked if he had brought home the
tollar, to which he replied:
"Why, no. my dear: I had it sent to
my mother, l'ou know it is her birth
day tomorrow."
Why He Wept
Many good stories are toid s'.bout the
great house of Kothschikt. Out? of the
most amusing is that of the poor Jew
who when Huron Lionel died is said to
have stood at tho entrance to the
Iioihschiid mansion weeping bitterly.
His apparent distress touched the
heart of one of the porters, who, try
lug to console him. siii.i, "lon't carry
ou so, old man; It isu't as If you're
one of the family."
"Aeh, dat's vy I cry!" exclaimed the
man, with u fresh flood of tears.
Opportunity' Mistake.
This is the opportunity of a lifetime,
madam," declared thesmoothed tougued
canvasser as he stood at the door.
"Seems to me I've heard that be
fore." thought the housewife.
"Opportunity knocks at every one's
door, but only once," continued the
caller. '
"That's where you're mistaken,
young feller," snapped the woman as
A Joke With a Rebound.
John It. McLean stepped in front of
t lurching Irishman one evening and j
obstructed the sidewalk so that the j
Irishman was obliged to stop and look j
at him. McLean said: j
"Here's that half dollar I borrowed i
ef you. Now you must quit telling the I
neighbors that I never pay my debts." j
Half drank and wholly dazed, the
Irishman took the silver piece, looked ;
at it intently and then said: !
"Be dad, yez can't get off thot aisy. j
It wor a whole dollar thot yez borryd, !
so fork over." j
And he forked over another half dol- j
lar and went his way, laughing hearti- I
ly at the quick wit of the Irishman.
Cincinnati Enquirer.
i
i V -B 1 w
f h&
"THAT'S WHEKE lOO'llE MISTAKES."
she reached behind her. "Opportunity
has knocked at my door eight times
this week so far. I'm out $410 an'
nothiu' to show for it. Jest in ease he
should knock again I be n savin' this
kettle o' hot suds"
But opportunity departed hurriedly
AVoman's Home Companion.
Real Love.
A young couple married. She loved
him madly. He loved her devotedly.
They were good and they were young.
The good die young, and he died. She
did not bury him; she had him cre
mated and his ashes placed in an urn.
In the course of time young fellows
eame courting her and tried to per
suade her that they' ought to pay for
her board, but she said her heart was
with the ashes in the urn, and they
withered away Into thin air. But there
was one desperate and persistent fel
low who hung around after all the oth
ers had left, and finally she married
him to get rid of him a sort of de
fensive movement. She grew to love
him without knowing anything about
tt, and he didn't know it either.
One day it rained in torrents, and
at night the frost came so that in the
morning the front steps were coated I
with ice. As he opened the door to go
to the office she saw the condition of
the steps, and a great wave of love
swept over her, and she rushed and
got the urn and sprinkled her first hus
band on the steps so that the second
husband could walk down in safety.
That is real love!
MADE HIS POINT CLEAR.
And Got His Crass Examlnor't Goat at
the Sam Tim.
The following anecdote ot the late
well known Kngllsli actor and musi
cian, Tom Cooke, la lududcd by Mr.
F, L. Wolluian In his "Hay In Court"
and affords a good 11 lust ration ot the
lniSM tanl mrt played by emphasis and
event :
At trial between certain music
publishing houses as to an allowed pira
cy ot a popular sons Cooke was uh-
poenai'd as an expert w Itnes by one
of the parties. Ou his cross e:ulua-
tion by Sir James" Scarlett that learn.;
ed gentleman rather fllptntly ques- j
tlottcd him thus: 1
"Sir, you say that the two melodies!
are the same, but different. Now, what j
do you moan by that?" !
To I his Cooke promptly answered.
t said that tho notes In Ihe two cop
ies are alike, but with a different e- f
cent, ilie one Iflug In common time
ud tho other In slxelght time, and
oiisoquontly the losliloii of (he accent
of (he notes wits different."
Sir James - What Is musical ae- !
cent? 1
Cooke My terms are 0 guineas a j
quarter, sir. j
Sir James Never mind your terms i
here. I nsk you what Is a musical ac- i
ceut? Can you see It? I
Cooke No, Sir James.
Sir Jaines- t'an yon fool it? 1
Cooke A musician can.
Sir James (very angry! Now, pray,
Ir, don't laat about tho bush, but ex-
lain to his lordship and the Jury, who
are exiwted to know nothing about i
music, tho meaning ot what you cull i
accent.
Cooke Accent in music is a certain !
stress laid upon a particular note In ;
the same manner as you would lay n i
stress upon a tiven word for the pur- :
Hse ot being better understood. Thus i
if I were to my "You are an " the i
event rests ou nss, but It t were to
Ton are au ass" It rests ou you.
Sir James.
iteratisl shouts of laughter by tho
whole court, pi which the bench Itself
joined, followed tills repartee.
He Was Anxious.
Bret Ilarte at one time used to plun
der the people from the rostrum In '
the way of fifty cent lectures. During
a trip over one circuit he found him
self one evening in a small town the
tery atmosphere of which was de
pressing. Turning to the committee
man wiio waited on him at his room
Sa the hotel, Ilarte said, "Is this a
healthy climate?" 'Tassubly," respond
ed the committeeman. "What's the
mortality of this city?" "About one a
day." "About one, eh?" said Ilarte.
"Come this way a minute." And he
rew the committeeman into the recess
ef the bay window and then said to
bim solemnly: "Is the man dead for
today? I am going to lecture here to
ight, and it would be a great relief to
me to know that I could get through
live."
- A Whistler Story.
In "Under Five Heigns" Lady Doro
thy N'evill, the author, tells this, char
acteristic story of Whistler:
On ono occasion when Whistler was
asked to dinner by a somewhat punc
tilious host the party after waiting for
an unconscionably long time eventual
ly sat down to dinner. Soup and lish
were served and stTll no Whistler ap
peared, and when at last he arrived
the host was in anything but the best
of tempers, as his countenance show
ed. Whistler, however, was in nowise
disconcerted, for, cheerily grasping a
somewhat limp hand, he rattled out,
"Don't apologize fur having begun
without me; I shan't be offended in
the very least," after which, taking
his seat, he became the life and soul
of tUet party.
The Ideal In Venison.
Among Mrs. L. B. Walford's stories
In her "Kecolleetlons of a Scottish
Novelist" is one ot a cook who came
to her family from a ducal lodge and
positively declined any suggestions as
to the stage at which venison ought to
he eaten. "Me not know when vein
son is lit for the table," she said, "me
that have scut it up when the ladies
was fainting all round, and the duke
said it- was butlful!"
She Was After the "Joints."
Charlev Sheldon, secretary of th-
Kansas state senate several years ago.
was a rattling good humorist. The
senate of which Sheldon was secretary
was in session during the days when
Carrie Nation was crusading in Kan
pas and making the welkin ring. She
came into the senate one day and gn
to talking with Sheldon ubout liquor
laws, amendments to the prohibitory
statutes and that sort of thing, whlc
were before that legislature. She want
ed to know about them.
"Oh," said Sheldon very seriously
"I've hidden all the Joint resolutions.
And Carrie became rather excitei
before she "tumbled" and learner
what a "legislative Joint resolution" Is
-Kansas City Journal.
Cutting It Short.
Old Fanner Donald Macdonald was
induced to attend u coueert. After
several solo performances a duet was
commenced, when DoualJ turned to
his frioud anil remarked:
D'ye ken. Tammits, now it's got to
10 o'clock they're singing twa at
time so as to get done sooner?"
Wifey Fixed It.
A young storekeeper who hud failed
the previous day was so dlltldent nbout
meetiug his creditors Hint he gave his
wife the following Instructions:
Now, Murle, if any oue rings, you
answer the door and tell them that
I'm not in. I'll hide."
Nor had he long to wait until a loud
Jangling of the bell assured him that
an irate creditor stood at tho door.
It was only n reporter, however.
I wish to sKak to your husband.
Hut he isn't In," protested the
woman.
Well, I understand." said tho re
porter, getting out his notebook and
pencil, "that he Is Insolvent."
Oh, yes," cried the wife, a happy
Inspiration seizing her. "lie went
over there on (he 2:10 train yesterday,
and I don't exect him back until to
morrow." Llppliicott's.
The Charms She Lacked.
An Knglish diplomat at a dinner In
London told this story on Mrs. Lang
try, the once famous "Jersey Lily":
When Mrs. Langtry was at the
summit of her beauty and her fame
when crowds followed her in Bond
street and the Bow she met nt a seml-
royal dinner au African king.
Mrs. Langtry. dazzling In her beauty.
sat beside this king. She wns in good
i I'll
km
IlB HEAVED A DEEP SIQB.
spirits, and she did her very best to
amuse and please him. And she must
have succeeded, for at the dinner's close
he heaved a deep High and said to her:
" 'Ah. madam, If heaven had only
made you black and fat you would be
Irresistible!'"
A Hietorio Occasion.
There is something in this story that
savors of the dry wit of the late
Charles Hoyt, the farce writer, says
Irvin Cobb In the New York Tribune.
Hoyt was leaning against the bar at a
well known chophouse one night
when an uctor who was notoriously
stingy came in accompanied by two
friends. The close listed one and Hoyt
were not on the best of terms, but the
former was feeling a bit mellow him
self and, moved by a sudden and al
most unprecedented burst of generos
ity, he turned to Hoyt and said patron
izingly: "Charley, will you Join us? I'm buy
ing this drink."
"I certainly will," said Hoyt "I am
always glad to assist in the celebra
tion of any truly historic occasion."
w
V - . ! l L l
A Matchless Showing
of American Lady
. Corsets
We have just received a new lot of corsets
.and are showing some of the latest styles
and models. Sizes to fit Everyone.
DroD in ancl let us show you some of
u,uuiijjM our summer dress goods
Fashionable feature of every description for gown, waist and children w" The
prettiest thing that have come off the loom thi season. Sheer, dainty dimities and
lawn, madras, sturdy galateat and innumerable charming pattern in domestic gingham'
to be had at
The Leader
Mr. I. Michel, Prop.
m
U.I III I
D. P. Adamson & ' Co.
Druggists
Prineville, - - - Oregon
ALMOND AND CUCUMBER CREAM.
Protect the Complexion. It prrvrnls injury to the late ml hand's il applirJ
it-lore exposure to tlte sun, wind and weather. When nut so useil il promptly
relieves all distressing conditions ol the skin il applied on reluming indoors.
Almond and Cueumlier Cream is not a greasy preparation, and does not re
semble the paste lorm creams and cosnn tirs. It is a pure antiseptic lotion, pos
sessing remarkahle cleaning and healing properties that have been used and
tested lor years hy the highest society ladies ol the laud. It will give the most
gratifying results in sollening, rough, dry or irritated shin resulting Irom any
cause Price 50 cents.
Headquarters for
Thoroughbred Hats
Summer Exhibit
of
Peters Shoes for
Men and Women
Mod
era
Cloth
es
'The Kind Gentlemen Wear."
WITH the opening ol our Spring and Summer Season, we wish to express our hearties!
thanks to our many customers and friends who have shown us their patronage during the
past year. We hope that our methods ol doing business have beeir satisfactory to one and
all and once a customer always a customer. Our methods will be the same for this coming year.
Everything Marked in Plain Figures and One Price to One and All. We don't
Sell you an $10.00 suil lor $15.00; our $18.00 suits are marked $18.00, that's our price; no
other. But we are not talking prices, Quality First and Last. We are today carrying the
Best Clothes to be lound in Prineville. Modern Clothes designed and laid out by
Brandegee, Kincaid & Company, Utica, New York
Clothes well nelocte l and worn cannot be overlooked hy people of diftirlmitmtion. r.xelanmtioin of grent
joy are curtain to he called forth by our display of "CoI1uk Chiip" Clothed, because of their piirttculnrly
brisk style, and because thev lit so perfectly that tlmy cannot but be well worn, '
The fabrics are totally different from those ordiuarily seen. The many iiraceful and characteriKtlc features
which distinguish tho well-dressed man from the multitude of careless dressom will be found in these splen
did garments. Knowing how to design and how to develop has made "uuioga wiap- i loins wnai mey
are, "the clothes you want."
Clifton & Cornett
AT THE OLD BRICK STORE.
Notice for Publication
nmmrtmentuf thf Interior,
U. B Lanfl Olliue al The Dallen, Orison.
July isth.nill,
NnMnn I" hereby Riven that Holier! W.
Hliind or(irl.,ly. Oregon, who, on November
14th ISHJl, iriftfle HonieKlelu! No. IJIH7II. Herhtl
No. H7, for NW'-i NWJi Keetlon n. Town
Nhlli 1' Bout.h, RmiKe I Kiwt, Mllitmetle
Meridian, has filed notleo of Intention to
make final ftve-year proof to entubllKh claim
to the land above teerlljed, before Warren
Mrown, eounty clerk at hlH oll'lce, at Prine
ville, Oregon on the Mill day of AuguHt,
cValmant names awltneRneN; Charles Met
Kennle, Anln Heele, Henry Montgomery;
.loBeiib P. Montaoinery, all of Orlxxly, Oregon.
7p C. W. MOOKIS, Budstor.
Furnished Rooms for Rent.
Famished, single or double. Also
beds for the Fourth. Inquire at Khipp
house. Mrs. Ida Prose, yrPr- 0-1S
PIONEER SADDLER
Manufacturer of and dottier In
Harness, Saddle, Chap, Bridle, Silver-Mounted Bits
. and Spurs. Reatas, Quirts, Ladies' Stride Saddles.
E. H. Smith, Prop. Prineville, Or.