Stayton standard. (Stayton, Marion County, Or.) 1915-1917, March 29, 1916, Image 3

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it ■
In* Vanity I* Ministered T* by
New Devise Which Has
American Brain Keeps Busy Ait
the Tims.
nothing on tbo mon, (or I! m
Forty Thousand Patents lesusd at rocont development* tkât U n
oro giren almost ma mash to tito
Washington Lost Year ism s Ins-
In# mit am tbo women are.
msnssly Valuable Idas*
Them— Life-Saving Fleet.
F O R D ’S
m orn yrra
.1N I M a N T
you can get rid
o f eczema with
».Opett Wound*, W
External Iinjurio*.
nee 1846.
lee 28*. SOe aad $1.00
on w h it s
a e r s «. ©. iann«o*#-«Mm. «
0 ,0 1 9
lY t iy iw u n v
-Th* Byplay Minstrels.
sr Interlocuto/. can you tell me
room full of married people Is
empty room?"
Mr. Bones, 1 cannot W ill you
w io r
iuso there Is not a single per-
I. Mr. Bones. And - what have
lay this evening. Mr. Tam bo T’
you tell me how many eggs a
a eat on an empty stomach?”
Mr. Tam bo. I cannot W ill you
low many?"
Because after that his atom-
uldn't be em pty."
? the smoke has cleared away
) blood baa been mopped up
|e stags. Mr. Letts Lyachem
kder (hat pathetlo ballad, ‘Ten
Squirrels Have .Starved to
Since Henry Ford’s Ship
| Away."
[w o Cants td Feed Q o v trn o r ef
Old Lady, Who Waa Always Getting
Names Confused, Invited SMI to
Come* Up by Bask Stairs. —
Ilia mother lived In an apartment
house In the Bast end. 'H p told tier
he would send out m man from the
shops where he waa manager to move
her furniture from one room to an­
other, and from another room to ond,
m little pleasure the old l*dy allowed
herself two or three times a year. _
“ 111 have him get here about ton
o'clock, mother, tomorrow morning.
You watch out your window for him,
and show him bow to get up harm—
he’ll be a little timid about oomlng
Into this part o f town. Y ou ll know
him when you see him—a big, tall,
rough-looking fellow .
His name la
Oeo Harrison.”
The next morning about ten the old
lady looked out her front window,
and saw a man standing In the street,
gaslng up at the apartment house.
She threw up the window.
“ Are you Hen Harrison? she called.
And the man, who wasn't Ben Har­
rison, but a slate roofer, and who
thought somebody was trying to kid
him, replied. “ No, ma'am. I'm B ill
“ Oh dear, y e s !" cried the old lady.
“ I'm always getting names wrong!
Just go round the side, Mr. McKin­
ley, and come up the back stairs."—
Cleveland Leader.
asm * Old World. ,
"Then you con decipher thee* cune­
iform characters, professor?"
“ Oh, ye*.”
“ How Interesting. And what do
these tableter'eay?" •— —-
"W ell, thlq^one speaks o f a Chal­
dean who absconded with 30,000 clam
Hera's ^an elopment In As­
syrian blgb life. On acount o f grafting
In office, and a king declares war.”
“ Urn. Reads exactly Ilk# a front
ig* of^63hyr."
_ -
illy of Washington, Seattl*.—
Dr Ernest L itter w ot a guest
at tke practice cottage o f the
BOfhtca department, and the
Iyoung women living In the cot-
jterU lnod him with tea. When
lent* figured up the expense of
ipIlaUty (as they are required
i all elpenseel they found they
red the state's chief executive
i, candied orange peel and waf-
cost of two cents.
[sam e girls found their break-
(o r a period o f nine days, cost
^Sa, Verily.
jts a plate; luncheons »Vk cents
Blinks— W h s » th* matter, old hoy?
insrs 17 cents.
I haven't seen ybu » t the-«tab since
»A '■
your w ife got a dlvproe.
, ' Not tnobblsh.
Jinks— Oh. you ll see me there be­
Van Oeld, the railroad king, la
democratic sort o f a chap, Isn’t fore long. I'm engaged to be married
Forty thousand patents wore gran t
*d by the United States patent oMc*
st Washington during l t l f . on average
j f $00 a week. Th e** ranged from du­
plex voting machines to fishhooks,
with » heterogeneous number o f won-
ierfu lly and mysteriously contrived
appliances In between.
Linn Eugene Carpenter o f Boat Or­
ange, N. J., obtained a patent to r a
Reainol Ointment, wkh Retinol
now sort o f cheese. It boa its
Soap, usually stops itching instantly.
Interspersed throughout by
It quickly and easily heals the most
anted cherries.
distressing cases of eciema, rash or
W alter Ltadsmann ot Detroit, Mieh..
similar tormenting skin or scalp
patented a now type o f lifesa vin g float
eruption, not due to serious Internal
calculated to appeal to th* submarine-
disorder*, ' Sold b a ll druggists.
haunted transatlantic traveler o f to­
day. Mr. Ltndemonn's device la a com­
bined mattress and raft and trse-lupch
counter. T h * m sttrea* fits Into the
sleeping berth and Is quit* comfortable
to stoop on. But suppose th * ship
should bs torpedoed! The passenger
goes overboard with a removable sec­
tion o f his m attress and finds himself
safe fo r th * tlm * being, at least. Th#
mattress Is partially filled with eork
to make ft buoyant It has a seat for
tbs accommodation o f th * escaping
passenger, and la equipped with a
tank o f fresh water, cons o f food, small
electric batteries, on Incandescent
Are Forced to Economise.
lamp tor signaling at n igh t a tele­
Methods o f Industrial efficiency scopic rod or most to hoist the lamp
such as are habitually ascribed to at night and a flag by day, and a wa­
Oerman establishments actually pre­ terproof, flexible water closure or
vail In the automobile Industry o f th* locket that can be fastened by a draw­
United States to a greater extent string around th* body o f the ship-
than la ordinarily understood: Par­ wracked mariner. This keeps him high
ticularly In the handling o f waste and dry. Another advantage a t this
m aterials Is extraordinary attention float type o f life-saving devles to that
paid to details that a re seem ingly In­
It to o f sufficient buoyancy to support
The advantage o f these efficiency Its main occcupant and in addition lend
methods and detailed saving possi­ possible aeelstancs to others over­
ble has been strongly emphasised board who ora not so w all provisioned
by conditions prevailing in this coun­ for tbs emergency.
try at th e present time. For Instance
Than there's th* electric umbrella,
the scarcity of aluminum has placed
what was once a common metal now patented by Frank W. Smithing o f On­
almost In the semi precious class. tonagon, Mick. A t first glance It looks
Prices on many manufacturing met­ like an ordinary umbrella aad it to
als have In many cases doubled and nasd la th* ordinary way;' But If the
quadrupled over the ordinary rate#,
s tr a ig h t bs dark. Just press a button In
prevailing before the opening o f the th* handle and the umbrella, glows
European war.
with tiny Incandescent electrio lights.
By the us* o f electric magnets,
Thors are lights at th* bu tt th * top
scrap, which was form erly wasted.
Is now carefully gone over and th* and at th * ends o f th * ribs.
Among other Interesting patents Is­
Iron and steel fragments automati­
cally lifted out. In fact the automo­ sued during 1116 or* the follow ing: A
bile Industry In the United States talking doll; by pressing th* stomach
Ives keener attention to details o f the ¿oil you cans* sounds to Issue
,n Is bestowed In any oonntry.
from th* mouth.
A combination penholder and b lo t
Peruna protects the family
against coughs, colds, catarrh,
bronchitis, catarrh o f the stom­
ach, liver and jndneys. It it just
as sure to relieve a case o f ca­
tarrh, o f the bowels as it is a case
o f catarrh o f the head.
Anyone suffering from catarrh,
severe or mild, acute or chronic,
in any organ or part o f the hu­
A Vague Theory.
"W hat la this rice powder doing on man body, should at once get a
S p ecia lty.
C r e iz n
Th is to the New -V anity H at- tor
Men, W ith a Looking Glass In Top.
antly Into Its depths you w ill know
that he to not exactly foolish, but that
be to beholding hie own countenance
in th * mirror.
The m irror to secured to such a man-
nsr thst there to provision tor th* ac­
commodation o f cards, paper and mem­
orandum, but tot us hope that this w ill
not be resorted to hold a supply o f th*
little French sbsets o f powder and
rouge which ora affected by the ladles.
Sanitation In French Army.
H ot baths and nail-brashes figure
prom inently In a certain army order
Issued to th * French cooks entrusted
w ith the preparation o f meals for the
youngest class o f soldiers, aged nine­
teen, who have Just been called up tor
thetr training. The follow ing are
sample regulations posted up In the
Cooks must take a hot
bath, with soap, every morning. Be­
fore serving soup they must wash
their hands la hot water. E very eve­
ning when the work Is over they must
wash thetr hands and arms In hot wa­
te r and carefully brush th eir nails. A
plentiful supply o f mottled soap and
nail-brushes w ill be distributed. The
hair must be kept d o se cropped.
W hite linen overalls and caps are to
be worn In th* kitchen by cooks, who
must change them three times a week.
Before sitting down to table they must
scrub their hands with hot water, soap
and a nail-brush.
▲ tobecco-plpe filler. T h * tobacco
Is contained in th* cylinder and the
Profiting by Europe's W ar.
large end o f th* filler Is Inserted In the
In 1M2 the value o f lacee Imported
bowl o f the pip*. A plunger at th * top Into this oonntry amounted to a little
ever »»S.000.000; In 1P1S about 8*4.-
»0,000 worth o f laeee was Imported,
aad la 1914 the Importations dropped
considerably, the amount being h e
tween 8M.OSS.OO0 and »S7.000.000. The
, Indeed. When be travels he
thinks o f using a special train,
has his private car hitched on
liar train and travels quit* yoer ovorcoet?".
of-tb* common people."
“ Beats me. I've been In a tot o f offi­
ces today. Must have put that over­
S tro n g , B e e e t l f e l
jaiclnna tu t* Murine X/e coat down on a powder puff som *
•th as a preventive
t »tore brio«* U en * • I t r r i na n where.”
and a relief from catarrhal a f­
i I f , k r ito t,,. Hurts* U SUU O o »
■ Or Our Fhjiiolmui nod gunmntood
Hie Misery.
I no * Oollnbio H.U.f lot K j m that Mr,d
7 It In your K * n n d In Bob/'a Ef
*1 don't see why you te eo miser-,
•log — Juat I f , C o«fort Buy Mnrin*
i — or.-rpt no SubslUut«, end If able. You've got everything to make
writ* for Book e f tbt
Free. you happy.”
"Yes, l know I've got everything ex­
cept the joy o f wanting something 1
m n't get.”
|or— Your’ Jokes are good dope.
tributor—Thst eo?
ur—Yes, they put me to sleep
California Pelican.
' ,
Do Him Good.
got to alt up with a sick frisnd
It." he said.
Ml," she retorted, " I hope you
good,” and from the way she
hs knew that be hadn't got by.
rolt Free Press.
Th* AspscL
fam ily has a vary
i, I understand It took a big turn-
ilttm ors American.
ores ere not available in regard to the
Importation o f laceo tor ISIS, but un­
doubtedly they are fa r below normal
becanaa o f the existing condition* in
Europe and also on account o f the
rapid stridea the Industry has made In
fections, tens o f thousands of
this country, together with th * In­
quantity o f laces manufactured
New Patent Fly Cate her Which Simply
Catches th * Fly on th* F ly and here.
Blows Him Into a Trap.
Smokeless Powder Making Booms.
Smokeless powder Is being manufOo-
Is then forced down, thus pushing th«
toboeoo Into the pipe.
tured In larger quantiUea In tk * United
An under-water operated musical ap­ States than at any other period In
as thousands of people have teg- paratus. A naan Is towered Into a woU, th * nation’s history, Census Director
Rogers announced. The outbreak of
where be ploys the horn.
tke European war gave a greet impe­
A necktie former.
An Insect trap. T h * in sect when tus to production. Latest statistics
pasting between the motor on th* left. compiled reveal that production a
Is blown Into th* trap on the rig h t
year ago passed the 26.000,000-pound
On the Atlantic eoaat It Is now possi­
An ornamental design tor a "atop, mark, the figures representing the
ble to use a continuous highway from look and 11*ten” sign.
output o f both private and govern­
wall up Into Main* to a point below
A sanitary shaving brush, having ment-owned establishment*. A t pres­
Washington and from north o f Rich­
mond nearly all the way to the end sponge Instead o f bristles, and having ent. with sooraa o f new explosive
plants running fu ll blast, experts say
o f Florida. In one county o f Virginia th* soap contained in the handle.
that production can be conservatively
A fly-catching machine.
there are two road lengths, the non-
completion of which positively debars
A device for tendering harmless the estimated a t 60,000,000 pounds a year.
all touring except during the dry per­ points o f hat or bonnet pins.
iods o f the summer and falL
▲ device tor fastening button shoes
Keep Up
Your General
“ Backward” Cows
tv* task a sew, bar s ptcik»*« *f ko«
fur Abort!
Lulu— W hy ain't you married, Mr.
P h attf
Mr. Phatt— Nobody wants me, I
- Watch your health thia Spring
* Lulu— I guess you never asked my and be on guard atfainst an at­
Aunt Priscilla; 'cause I ’m su n she’d tack o f Spring Fever. Bilious-
take anybody.
A Flat!#.
"M y speech fell fla t"
"T on told me you had rehearsed It
until you could say B backward or
" I had. But 1 started It backward
aad souldn’t switch.”
r 7_____ __________
neaa or a general run-down con­
Portland Seed Co.*
H ig h e r !
MseAsr r f i S rtol t a W
Sr M
U niversity o f Washington, Hssttla.
— The United States Geological Sur­
vey w ill shortly publish a com er*
henslve bulletin on W ashington's
coal resources, bringing together la
one report what has heretofore been
printed In fragments. The bulletin
is being prepared by Dean' Henry
Landes, o f the college o f science,
during his year's leave o f ahOesee,
Mew fields, such as the Whatcom
county anthracite and- Lew ie county
lignite beds, w ill he the subject o f
discussion In the rep ort in a rid ity »
to the bettor known King. Pieros aad
K ittitas county fields.
Washington coal operators are foal­
ing the competition o f the California
otl fields, according to Dean len des,
•but the mines are nevertheless fsh ty
The hard ooal o f Washington wllT
draw only conservative comment.
Dean Landes describes It as In fh *
prospective stage, and says only de­
velopment work win M l th * story o f
quantity and quality.
- I suppose there’s nothing doing fo r
a live w ire Ilk * xs* to this stupid town
o f yours?"
“ W ell, I don’t know. There are sev­
eral live wires like you doing tlm *
hare."— Baltim ore American.
Liked the Eats.
-Did tk* new cook com * this n c r a
"Dropped In at 12."
“ How do things seem to suit h er?"
“ W ell, she liked the lunch I gave her
so w ell that she has agreed to stay tor
dinner."— Lou isville CourmrsJouraaL
"H e was on fire with love when he
soiled on her.”
"W ell, what happenedr
"H e r father put him o u t"— B alti­
more American.
I deluding Him self.
W ife— What do you any to taking
baby to church with us this morning?
Hub—No. no; she might woks peo­
ple up.— Boston Transcript.
Effects en Light.
N o Influence o f any form o f attrac­
tion on ligh t had aver been noticed
until about twenty years ago, whan
Seemann showed that n powerful m ag
net visibly altered the position o f oar
tain lines la th* spectrum. Now It e g
pears likely that gravitation hog a sim­
ilar, though not the asms, a ffect M ag
netlim splits up th* spectral fin**, ex­
erting g broadening e ffe c t while gravi­
tation shifts thorn an alike la on* di­
rection. For Instance, in th* solar
spectrum, whose rays at their origin
have passed through th * powerful field
o f gravity In the Bun’s vicinity, on the
Usee appear shifted toward th * red,
as eegnpered with slm lllar lines from
Stomach Bitters
is a splendid medicine
Spring month«. Try i t
M a ch in e W o rk s