il
•****»•*«••***# # ••«•••••••
—I . ...
of the window curtains down. Nice
A M MAMMEP
sort of man yon are to talk about my
using sledgehammers and crowbarc!"
Hhe beard a gurgling, gasping sound
from the direction nt Mr Bowser aud
g11need I hill Way to note Ids bulging
eyes and red face and open mouth
•
•
' 'I1ie other nlglu we hail s little dlf-
feieacc of opinion." she said as she
Mrs. Bowser Attends to His
lulled away. “ Because I differed with
you. y o u got up snd trainpeil around
Caie.
the room and said ll was no wonder
E V E R Y T H IN G F O R M A N A N D B O Y .J|
thtil Itiistaiud* were driven to drink
and lo spend ihelr evenings in aa-
By M. QUAD.
is his
tvnen you see tit to lake a
"PErlglit. 1*1«. by Hie McClun
drink. Mr. Bowser, don’t stop to con­
Newipspsr Hyndlcat*
sul t me. .lust go off and get your
ginger ale. and If I And you on the
M /♦♦♦♦«
Hr. Ituwaer'rt grouch started at it doorstep I'll throw a bed quilt over »
you lo keep the front out.
I have
o'lliak In the ufteruooii. wtieu lie
u «m l that aalooua are eery attractive
found t tin t u > ci In In uiau had doue
places
If you prefer them to your
him up /or flu
iioine go ahead, and you needn’t be In
tie carried Unit grouch to the car a hurry about getting home."
wlih him.
That was Mrs. Bowser talking; hut,
II rode with blrn aud got off with though she waa sitting I d a chair, ebe
bltti.
seemed to Mr. Bowser to
By
it was I hi bbl 1 jig when he kicked the round and round. Ills
J.
T.
Beamish
and there was a lamp In his tbroet
**T> l U i . bills, bill»— BOthinf bat bills!” frequently is the complaint of dui m il old gate open.
Copyright 1914
snd lie hardly breathed as be waited
I.
lose
to
wrath
when
he
found
a
the head of the family. Ho man would think of running his busi­
for her lo go on
needle on the lower step.
ness WITHOUT A CHECK BOOK. How about TOUR home! dinning
“ I want some money for a new hat
M yh . Itowser wns lu the hall when
The ruaniaf of the home today is a BUSINESS PROPOSITION.
“ You can start, from nowhere and get far up the ladder
in entered the house, but be got out of gloves and hosiery, and 1 want It right
1 asked you last week, and
Ilia overcoat imd itung down his bat away.
sometimes, but you’ll drop back unieu the bottom of the lad­
wllhout noticing tier Dike a diplomat­ you said you were hard up. though
der is planted pretty solidly,” said the Rolling Dollar to h'S
ic woman, she look uo notice of his you brought borne a ten dollar box of
friend the Dollar Greenback.
conduct, mid. though he growled and cigars that same night Just remem­
giiiuthled over the dinner, she prevent­ ber that I am ai, equal partner with
“ I know how one o f the biggest mail order houses start­
ed hia breaking loose. When the meal you In aiuuey matters, Mr. Bowser.
w iis
finished, Buwever. Mr. Bowser Ila 'f you bsre belongs to me, morally
ed. Roberts was a watch peddler up in Wisconsin and he was
could hold In no longer, tie stood In ami legally. If yon can smoke fifteen
broke. He had to get to Milwaukee, so he put up his own
the middle of the sfttlng room and cent cigars I can wear silk stockings
watch as security for a ticket with the station agent, whom
nt
$8
per
pair.
As
a
rale,
the
more
a
looked around for an excuse to begin
tin- bust new* of the evening
it took husband squanders the more he ex-
we’ ll call Stacy. The ticket man was .ihrewd enough to sell
Inin three or four inlriuttrs to find one. l*ccts Ills wife to save, but we’ll change
the watch for twice the price o f the ticket.
lint he flnally noticed Unit a custer bad Iblngs about."
Mr. Bowser rose up and stood for a
dropped out of the leg of a chair, and
“ Stacy liked the game, so he got Roberts to express a
moment, ami he also extended an arm
be led off with:
dozen
watches
to fictitious names at his station.
Each watch
' So you have been nt It again, bare snd oja-ned bla mouth. The wind*
was
billed
at
$25.
the
bill
showing
that
$10
had
already
been
wouldn't come, however, and be sank
youjr"
hack and wondered If It was a case of
•'At what?" she quietly asked.
paid. Stacy, acting as express agent, unloaded these at $15
“At smashing up the furniture with hesrt failure or paralysis.
; each, for the people who bought them thought it a great bar­
"Now nod then.” went on Mrs. Bow­
a crow bar!. 11 Isn't enough that the
gain. They didn’ t know the watches cost $3.50 each. Finally
root leaks, half the windows are ser as she rocked to snd fro and look­
broken, the doorknobs nil off. but you ed at the wall, "you pity me because
the railroad fired Stacy.
must seek to destroy what’s left! I was brought up In the country and
patronizingly praise me because I am
“ The pair of schemers opened up in Milwaukee and
look at that chair, will you!"
“ I see the chair One of the casters not s fool. Yea. 1 waa brought op In
bought 1,000 watches i&$3 each. A ll were sent to fake names
Hie country, nud so were you. ~ s z
Is out "
in Illinois, Wisconsin and Kansas.
When the express agent
“ And bow did It come out?“ be Me with a knife and drank tee ent of
reported them as undelivered, they wrote him some mistake
shouted.
"Von probably spent hslf a saucer the first time I saw you!”
business.
"By the great horn spoon, woman!"
had been made, but as $10 had already been on the watch they
shrieked Mr. Bowser as he bounded to
would pay him $2 commission for selling it for $15.
ills feet, but she stopped him right
there with:
“ That scheme netted them $10,000.
N ext they bought
"A s to intellect, 1 could have more,
a
lot
of
child’s
furniture,
and
advertised
it
so
as to lead people
and the same thing alls you. Aa a mat­
ter of fact, however. If I can’t give
to believe they would get a full set of furniture for $5. Fool­
1 you (Milliters on nlmost every subject
ish folks all over the country hit on that, but they kept within
under the sou. from .the best way to
the
law in the advertising, so they went unpunished.
tau u coon skin to the last political
movements lu Europe, I’ll go out of
“ Both partners are out of it now. Stacy has more than
business. Hold on. Mr. Bowser. Don’t
he
knows
what to do with, while Roberts, on the other hand,
get excited
You are constantly crttl-
cislng my housekeeping. A wife should
was workii^r for $18 a week some time ago, having been forced
strive to please her husband In such
; out o f business. Yet the house they started is doing millions
things, but if he won't be pleased with
; o f dollars worth o f business all over the United States. Rob­
her efforts then let him hire a house­
keeper or take bis meals ont
Yon
erts has already gone back where he belongs; how long can a
claim to be a good business man. but
house continue to live off short-sighted or trustful people?
you bare ls>en beaten half a dozen
times In the last year. I could have
“ A while ago that house bought 3,000 bicycles, all alike,
criticised you, but I didn’t "
for
$6.50
each. They detised three different brand names,
"And this—this to-m e!" he managed
and
sold
one
brand at $16.25, one at $12.50 and one at $12.75,
to gasp out.
“All to you, Mr. Bowser, and Just a
all the machines being identical.
word more. When I think 1 can do
Is-tter I shall pack up my traps and
“ That’s their system, and that is the kind of competion
get out. You'd better have the same
the
local
merchant has to meet.
And the merchant is right
" I ’t'T OS YOCH dAT AND WALE "
line of iKilicy
People are foolish to
here all the time to build schools and keep up roads and
live
together
when
they
can't
take
I he afternoon whacking away at the
bridges by paying taxes, ’besides helping t o support t h e
comfort
I’ve got a few lettera to
, chair with n crowbar, club or sledge
hammer Why didn’t yon smash It to writ* and will new leave you, and
churches, the charities and everything for the public good.
kindling wood? Why didn't you clear should any one call and ask for me
“ I f I were a human being instead of a hard-working |
oid the room and be done with It? If you «can say I'm very, very busy.
Good night. Mr. Bowser—eee you in
- there's another house lu America"—
dollar here in Centerville I ’d certainly give my storekeeper a
".Mr. Bowser, don’t speak to me that the morning!"
L E ÖLAIN
! BOWSER I
! üETS II2S j
CO.
' - '
we never DISAPPOINT
ALBANY. '
OREGON.
STORIES OF THE
Rolling Dollar
STAYTO N
STATE
BANK
A share of the banking business
of Stayton and vicinity
is solicited.
n
You are assured of a safe deposi­
tory and courteous treatment at
this bank, by ample capital and
long experienee in the banking
F a rm e rs & M e rch a n ts
Bank o f
StaytonOregon
C a p ita l $ 2 5 ,0 0 0 .0 0
Good Printing
f*
*
\ v
Sale Posters
Butter Paper
Statements
Letter Heads
Sale Bills
Envelopes
Programs
Invitations
Anything you want
H
h
ft
it
&
if
%
if
H
if
if
H
H
H
f
.
t
n
Mail Office 1
OVEN a s VEAR3'
XPCRICNCC
P atent
T raoc M arks
D csisns
OORYRIOHTS AC.
An?AVMM«Tu1lnf % »k«tnh And description inn?
'"ifrkl? Mccrtnitt our o|>luion ft— whether nn
■ ntIon 1« probably pnt«ntabuA Commutilrn.
1 » K
t riot lv confidant Ini. HANDBOOK Of. PMctti
i Iran. OMeat nuonry for •ecurinir pnt«> in.
I • mitj tahan through Munn A Co. rcceivt
w ••sf *»#f tea, wit boas abarya. In iba
Scientific Am erican.
\ hnrufaniaalf fllnntratad weakly. 1.i .arrant rtr-
• ilnt-ion of an? m iontlflo Journal. Ti
Parma, ft :
' r ; four month«, $1. Bold by all _ nawadenUi!
14
ttSZSMW
> your bowels
oli can
UaoUve TsUstO.
with D r,
i « m
STAYTON MARKET
REPORT
Hens heavy
11,
lipht
10
Broilers 1J to 3 lbs_.
Roosters.............................
7
Mixed Chickens
Geese
7
Ducks,Indian Uunneis 8, Pekin It
Turkeys........ ........................ 14
Dressed Turkeys
........ ...
18
Veal Fancy 10),
Ordinary
9
Pork..........................
.
7f
Dive Hops, Choice
6 GO
I.ive Hogs,Heavy Rough
5.50
E e r s .................... .
23
Cor roe ted Thursday - hut subject
to change without notice.
«
w iy!" she exclaimed as she rose up.
"I know wlnit yon were going to say,
but you let me tell yon that this house
Is run all right—ns right as any other
In America. As to the chair, you flung
,«i urself down upon it the other night
in I broke it. and It's your business to
in ke repairs or send it away!"
"Veu you are apeak lug to me?" he
stammered ns his eyes opened very
wide.
' Speaking right to you. Mr. Bowser.
I am not in the habit of tnlklng to the
I walls or the furniture Please alt down
while I talk to you.”
" Woman do—do’’—
"That's all right. Mr. Bowser—alt
down. Now. then, there are no leaks
, In ilie roof of tills house. If there are
lin n you caused th«>m by going up and
cutting through the tin with an ax.
Net a pane of glass Is broken, not a
doorknob ,,ff. not a piece of furniture
o c of repair except that chair. Some­
thing went wrong with you today, but
viui must either change your tune at
once or put on your hat and take a
walk!"
,
“Wh-what! You talk “hat way to
me to your husband!’ howled Mr.
Howaer ns he leaped tc- his feet and
Ills hair stood up.
"B e calm," she replied. ”A wife has
all Ihe rights a husband has In this
eothitry. and cue of her rights Is to
Inlk. You didn’t seem to like the steak
at dinner, and I noticed you making
a face over your coffee. It was a fine
steak. Mr Bowser, and the coffee was
excellent. However, if you can do bet­
ter at a cafe I have no objections Per­
haps It would be as well for you to se­
cure hoard elsewhere for n week or
two!"
Mr. Bowser sat down. He sat down
bec-niso his head whirled and he was
wondering where he was nt.
"You complain nbouf things being
broken." she continued. "Nothing la
ever broken except by yon. Ton go
slashing around like a rhinoceros turn-
«•<1 Imise, and It’s a wonder we have a
whole piece of furniture In the house.
If the doorknobs were not on to stay
you’d hare slammed them off long ago.
Yon broke four glasses In trying to get
otto off the buffet the other night, and
this morning yon innnngod to pull two
handles off your dresser and drag on«
Bliss Unalloyed.
chance at my trade instead of feeding those people in Chicago,
Buffalo and New York.”
Fle— What is your idea of perfect
happiness?
She—A ball at which 1 am the pret­
tiest. the best dressed and the most
popular girl aud where the other girls
are so green with envy that they begin
to look like the background of the
Horn I decora tions. — Richmond Tllfies-
1)1« patch.
MATTHIEU’S BILLIARD HALL
THs Differsncs.
"Demosthenes wns a great orator,”
observed the old fogy. “Ho used to
put pebbles in his mouth when be
spoke."
"Most of our modern orators substi­
tute a mg." interrupted the grouch.—
Ciuciunntl Enquirer.
Smart Girl.
Mistress — Why did you place the
alarm clock beside the pan of dough.
Mary?
Mary—So It would know what time
to rise, mum.—Boston Transcript
Busy Nights.
It was Noah who was voicing the
complaint.
“My wife made me get up and shut
the windows every night It mined,” be
said.—New Haven Register
CIGAR STORE and CONFECTIONERY
Is now located in the i. 0. 0. F. Bidg., and
You are assured of a quiet place to spend an
hour, and courteous treatment at all times
E. T. M A TTH IE U
COLLIER’S WEEKLY
AND STAYTON MAIL
EXECUTOR'S NOTICE
N O T IC E IS H E R E B Y G IV E N , That
the undersigned, Clark J. Seibel, has
been duly appointed as executot of the
The management of The Mail has estate and last will and testament of
been waiting for a special price on Nettie S. Seibel, deceased, by t h e
Colliers Weekly, so that they could ^ (bounty Court of Marion County, Ore-
Reformed.
Ezra—John writes that be wants to offer the same Combination as last year gon, and he has duly qualified
such
be a sanitary engineer.
viz: 12.50 for Mail and Colliers, but no executor.
Mrs. Exm—Well, I’m so glad he’s re­ special offer has come, nor is there any
Therefore, all persons having claim i
formed.
He used to bave such an chance at this date; so they have de-
against said estate are hereby notified
aversion to wnahlng.—Life.
cidei to make an offer of the two pa­ and required to present the same, duly
pers at a price of $3.00.
verified, to the undersigned executor at
It All Depend*.
Colliers regular price is $2.50, and his residence near Sublimity, Marion
A bn by It an angel fair
the Mail is $1.50 making a total of$4 00 County, Oregon, within six minth;
Somehow escaped from heaven’a care,
A baby la r equalling sprite
I f you want Ihis wide-awake national from the first publication of this noli'- •
That keapa the blocka awake all night.
weekley in conjunction with your heme in the Stayton Mail, said date being
A baby It a blossom gay.
paper you can get it at an advance of the 14th day of January, 1915
A rosebud opening to the day.
$1.5) over the price of the Mail.
2000
A baby may become a thorn
Clark J. Seibel, Executor.
Earl A.
By which full many a heart la torn.
votes on the Contest goes with the Nott.Attorney for Estate.
2-llx
Mail and 300 vote.-; with Colliers. If you
A baby la all tenderness.
The living form o f a careaa
1 want this offer, send the money at once
A baby la a atranger rude
to the Mail office, as the time is limit-
Of mlachlevoua and wayward mood.
OM Newspapers—
I ed. Those who have already paid for
A baby's bright, a baby's sad,
Big bundle for 10c at th<* Mail office.
a year’s subscription to the Mail in ad­
A baby’s good, a baby’s bad. •
Though neighbors may think otherwla«, vance, can get Colliers for the addition-
The parent knows he has a prize.
| al $1.50.
j J. O. McCrady, 1164 Lincoln rft., Eu-
—Washington Otar.
Cut,l ey Vacuum Sweepers $7.50
j gene, Oregon,