The Stayton mail., May 10, 1901, Image 7

Humors Feed
on Humors
T h * S o o n e r Y o u C o t Rid of T h o m
th e Better.
In tlio Spring there’« an effort of
Nature to cleans« your system.
You know UiU liy tltc plinpl«*M ntul
other eruption» on your fuce ami laxly.
In the Spring, therefor«, is tho beat
time to bike
Hood's Sarsaparilla
For Hie quickest result«.
Hut whenever taken, thla (treat
medicine thoroughly cleanaea the aya-
tein, K' t* Into all It» nook» end cor­
ner«, rem ove» ull humor» and all
unheulthy accumulation».
" IlixMt'a Harisparllls 1» an excellent
purifier. We had ■ little hoy with ua
who»« hand» and face were broken out
with »ore«. We gave him llood'a Harasps-
rlllw and the »ore» kmhi dl»»i>i>eare<l."
Jou» H< it w * », Nlpomo. Cal.
A c c e p t No Sub stitute .
blood
Poor Old Coal.
"B ulgey ciiiim* that he ha» morn
Social engagement« thuu he can till.
I)o<n he really ahine in society?”
"Oh, ye». Didn't you ever see that
dre»» coat of hi»?
There wiui never
another »o shiny u» th a t."
Thia alrm tura i* on »vary !><>« » t th* genutno
L a x a t iv e llro m o *(J tiin in e T«M «a
lb * rauwly that c u r e * a e«»W lu < »»• Way
Wilhrltnina’i Favorite Reading.
The Dutch queen i» a great novel
reader, and her preference i» for Kog-
li»h Uxik».
She like» the book« of
Si-ott ami Dicken», and ia much in­
clined to remal it: »torica.
I am »o r e P o o '« C ure fo r C on su m p tion
raved io\ life three y ea r» nan. M a» T ho ».
}{o i!M i»». M aple m reei, N orw ich , N. V.,
F'eh. 17, limn.
hit Taik.
George— W ith the assurance of your
love I eould conquer the world.
(iraee— That w ill not lie necoMuiry.
A ll you have to do i» to conquer
TR E A TM E N T
Th# Only W a y
FOR
GRIP'S RIVAGES
H IC C O U G H S .
llr Could hr Moppwd
W a l,v M a k in u l l l m V lad .
liliiglnimtoii iiiiiii t»'guu lo
A
tdc-
eough la»t Haturdny. lie tilccouglud
all day ami all Might, and was hard at
It Humliiy morning, livery remedy thut
his alarmed friend» giAe him »cpmud
to accelerate the hies. People »cut lu
from nil over town recommended »ure
cure«. And lie steadily grew worse.
rrn m th* Journal. K antat City. Ho
Then a wise neighbor hud u bright |
Idea, says u writer In the Cleveland
Follow ing every epidemic of the
IHulii Dealer, lie thought It all out hy : grip there remains a trail of after
himself.
lie went over to the hlc- effects which arc often worse than
eougher'a home, ami wu» ushered Into the trouble itself and which seem to
the room where the afflicted one was httHie all efforts of physicians. A
fast hiccoughing hi» life uwny.
s|»-eific, however, has been found
"Ilullo!" suhl the uelghlsir, In a light which not only will quickly restore
nnd cheerful lone; "how’s the old soak the health after an attack of grip
and exj»el the lingering germs, but,
this morning*/”
The sufferer rolled hi» eye» at the | working through the blood will ren­
der the system proof against the dis­
nclghlsir In a pained surprise.
In hundreds of rases it has
"Iton't give me any of your crocodile ease.
glances," snorted Hie friend. "I f you'd been shown that Dr. W illiam s’ Fink
quit drinking when I told you to you Fills for Fale People have uccomp-
One of the many
wouldn’t la* lu this shameful condi­ I¡»lied this result.
recent cure#
is that of Mra. J. B.
tion."
"Wha hie fit's th Ide al?" gas|»*d the Shaw, of 2101 Bellefontain avenue,
Kansas City, Mo., who says:
sick man.
"Oh, don't come any o f your Innocent, "W h e n the grip was epidemic hern
business on me!” cried the nelglilior. I Mas one of its victim s and the disease
left me in a hail state. 1 formerly
"I know you, you old S|»onge!"
hud an excellent memory, but afte"
The hteeougher’s face turned red.
the attack I could scarcely remember
"What-hlc-dUl you hlc-call Die?' he
anything.
I hud severe pains in the
stuttered.
top and hack of my head and was
"Called you a sponge, you lobster!" i dizzy hy sja-lls.
I would lie awuck
bellowed the llelghlair. "You're a pret­ until nearly m orning and then fall
ty object I ivmid for your unfortunate into a sleep that was not restful. My
children, ain't you. you gulping old heart action was weak and I was a
hypocrite?"
victim of nervousness.
In fact rny
"Get out o f my-hle-house!" roared health whs shattered hy the attack of
the *!ck man,
the grip and recovery seemed hope­
“ Go to hln/.e»!” yelled the neighbor. less.
"I'm going to stay rigid here and see
" A ft e r Vicing afflicted in this man­
the lust o f you. The people on the ner for several week«, 1 happened to
street sent me over. 'W alt until the read an advertisement of Dr. W il­
old wolf's gone.’ they said 'and then lia m »’ Fink Fills for Fale People.
wave a ting out o' the window.’ They're Th inking they m ight do me good, I
going lo have a Jollification »upper and liegmi taking them at once, lu three
firework» to-night nnd don't you dare day» I was much V>cttcr and could
sleep like a child at night. A fter
to disappoint ’em !"
This was too much for the hiccough using a I jox of the pills my memory
er. He said several very bad words as was restored and I felt greatly en­
I continued taking them
lie made a dash at the nelghtair. and couraged.
they raced around the room a half-dot- until I had used three Vsixes and
eti times, the hlccotigber getting mad­ was in Is-tter health than I had enjoy­
der at every Jump, and (hen the neigh- \ ed for several years.
" I f a staiu|s-d envelope is sent for
ls»r darted through the door and escap­
reply I w ill gladly answer all inquir­
ed.
The sick man Hung a Power pot nt ies relating to niv case.”
Signed.
MBS. J. B S H A W .
him as he raced down the yard, and
KuliscriUtl and sworn to Is-fore ine
then he suddenly riwllzeil that Ills Ido
After-Effects Are Often W orse
Than the Trouble Itself How
They May Be Avoided and
Good Health Restored.
Th#
Why does t h e
young la-dy scowl?
C'lsr-eiiee has aet-
M out-ra-geous.y.
I*ear me! What
has he done?
He proiu-lsed to
ut 8 o’clock, and
now It I* two mln-
wtes after 8 and he
has not come.
What Is the la-dy say-log to the gro­
wer?
She says the egg»
he sent her were
not fresh.
H a s » h e ev-1-
deiK-e to prove It?
Yes, »he put the
egg» on the lee-
ebest and left the
kltcb-en; when »he
came back half an hour lat er the eggs
had flown a way.
Wee the fool-lsh dyspep tic.
Why 1» he fool-lsh?
BecausF he Is at
a banquet and eat­
ing all the dead-ly
del!-ea-eles.
What would he
eat at home?
Malt-ed milk and
toa»t-ed crackers.
Why doe» he eat
these things then?
Be-causc It Is a new ex pe rience and
he think* he ha* a new stom ach.
W ill h<* nev-e.r re-tnem-her what kind
of stom-ach he has?
Yes; to-mor-row morn-lng.
See the man try in g to shave!
What else Is he do-lng?
He is cu-s-lug the
ra-zor lie-cause It 1»
dull.
Why does he not
have It honed? Is
he dull, too?
No, hut It Is eas-
l-er to cu«s the ra­
zor than to walk to
the bar-Iter shop and get It sharp-ened.
A la-zy man has the most pain.—Chi­
cago Dally News.
F O R E TE LL C O M IN G STO RM S.
t in - l l t h day of February, 1901
cough» had gone.
L IO N F ! MOISE,
For that was a part o f the neighbor'»
T e l e g r a p h W l r r a A r e S a id to He I n-
( Sea I I
> .try Public.
! theory. you see. He behoved that If
f a i l t a g W e a t h e r 1‘ r o p h e ta .
T h e H e «t l**-e «rrtp lla n f » r M ilia r ia
At
all
druggists
<
>
r
d
f
from
Dr.
HUH« »n d F iver ta a taitt l » o f f.ro re '« J »» t e le .» he could get the dying tonu real ex
According
to Dr. Eylatu. a German
( b i l l Tunic. It I» -Imply Iron and qtiltuas In
W illia m s Medicine Co., Schenectady.
a laatulo»« lorn. >io
i e toe cited and angry the affliction would N. Y .
Price 50 ci-nt
|>cr box ; 6 physician, there are no n.ore reliable
leave him. Ami lie proved he w » » (
weather prophets than telegsapb wires.
loses, fV 80.
«- <
Mora Inlormation.
right.
This novel discovery was made by him
Tom m y— Say, paw, what I» tho R E C E N T J U D IC IA L D E C IS IO N S .
in the following manner: As he sa z
A (jootf C ‘ >«k.
difference between an amateur poet
" I s your wife a g- -1 cook, Chris­ waltlug for a train at a country »buion
and a professional?
Judgment recoverm! In another State tie ? ”
he heard a shrill sound, which was
Mr Vigg— Th e amateur jioct, niy pending nn action Is held. In Hw-edluh
" Y o u bet. Ro good that she never made hy the whid as It passed through
boy, i» the one that keep» the pro- American National Batik vs. Dickin­
insists on my eating what she has a network of near-by wires. At once
fe»»ional starving.
son Company (N. D.l 4!» I.. It. A. 283, cooked. ”
the doctor remembered that he had fre­
not to present n fact which can he set
quently heard a similar sound either
l i o n " » T in a .
!Vnj»le expect much from fiarflcM Te%,
up by supplemental complaint, lie
Immediately tiefore or after a storm
«m l they arc n» ver 4lt**i«poitiled ; It cures
V * offer One Hundred Hollar« Reward for »n r cause the rendition thereof constitutes
ito m ifti, liver And !*<>%»• 1 disorder* nnd
or a heavy fall o f rain or snow, and it
aa»c of Catarrh dial can not ho < ure 1 hy Hall's
cure« roiiRtij'Riion «nd sick ht «dache.
a bar to the further prosecution o f the
naturally occurred to him to try and as­
C au rr’ - < ur .
,
(T J. C . I K N K V A CO.. Props., Toledo, O. net Ion
certain
between the sound and such
We th > undersigned. h,uve known F . J. Cheney
The new library at Athens is now
changes in the weather.
for t..e pant 15 *i »m. a id K lie v o him p. rlerfly
Admission ot contributory negligence completed.
It was begun 14 years
bon ahl m all biisin as transaction and tln-
As a heavy shower of rail fell within
am ial ah l» to carry out any obllg l.oua la id , made by nu Injured person who suhne- ago by Professor Ziller, of Dresden.
forty-eight hours after he had heard the
by l lelr firm.
i|iientl.v dies from Id» Injuries Is held. It lias risiili for 400,000volumes.
\\ r<T A Tat a *.
sound ut the railroad station he con-
In Georgia It f t H. Co. vs. Fitzgerald
Whuh-.nl lir u »’-|»ia, T o lc lo ,
WaUk.NO, ' INNAS A M a - v . n
1 eluded that there was such a connec­
1 (Ga.l -th I.. It A. 173, to he ndtidssihle j
W Ii.ilo.r.le Iirng lit«, Toledo O.
tion, and he then determined to investi­
nall'st'atarrh ( nr» 1» t ken n rnally.ac InR In evidence for the defendant on the
('tree .y o n ihe hlood and m cou» « u r la e » ol trial of an action brought by the widow
gate the matter thoroughly. As a re­
the «y .t ui. Prl c ' t c per ho Ic. t - id hy uL
sult he now maintains, ttrst, that any
o f the decedent for damages on no-
druy, tut«. Tesllmout 1» free.
H all « Fam ily P u '
r *h i « » L
unusual disturbance In the telegraph
count o f Ids death.
wires Is an Infallible indication of had
Agreement hy the agent o f n telo-
The Armv Dentiits.
weather, and. second, that the nature of
plmuc company to deliver u message
" I see that the reorganized army ia
the changes In the atmosphere may tie
at destination In consideration o f an
to have 27 dentist». "
learm-d front the sound which the wind
extra charge Is held, lu Brown vs.
‘ ‘ T h a t’» a good thing.
T h e y ’ ll
makes when passing through the wires.
rumlierland Telephone and Telegraph j
keep thi' dog.» of war in a condition
Thus a deep sound, he says, which Is
Company
(Tetin.)
50
I,.
It.
A.
277.
to
lie
to show their teeth to tlie l>eat of ad­
of considerable or medium strength.
binding
on
the
company,
not
withstand-
i
vantage. ”
Indicates that there will be slight show­
lug the agent's Instructions to |he con­
ers of rain with moderate winds within
trary,
where
these
were
habitually
F I T S Permanently Cure.1. Nn flte er nrrennene»»
from thirty to forty-eight hours, and.
■ I IO
.(trr Brer < («»-iieeof to K hne'e l»rr»A Nerve disregarded.
Heel r.r Semi Inr P it KM •'i.UOlrlel le.Ole am I treat-
on the other hand, a sharp, shrill sound
In
m
an
;
form«
Ue II», a II K l i »«. I.IU .Ml SrihHt..Phil»ael|>hl».Pfc
Numerous person* who establish a
| is the sure token of a heavy storm,
ferry, buy ferryboats and hire a |>or*on i
which will be accompanied hy much
In the Same Fix.
Rheumatism
to run the ferry within limits for which '
rain or snow.
W ife— This is a nice tim e to come nn exclusive franchise has been grunt- I
Neuralgia
home!
1 have not closed an eye all ed to another party are held. In War- !
T h e S u lt a n a s a C a r p e n t e r .
night !
Lum bago
ren vs. Tanner (K.v i 41» I,, it. A. 248.
The Sultan of Turkey, when a prince,
ilusliand— D-dn you think I did?
to l»e guilty of violating that exclusive
learned earpenterlng and became an
Sciatica
privilege, although their ferry Is es- |
export carpenter himself, and has al­
When tour liver I » out of order do not
m
akeup
a
lar^e
part
of
human
til Ml shed exclusively for themselves
doer yoiir«Wf with poisonous drus«
ways continued to take a great inter­
■iifTering. They come suddenly,
tlini harm and never cure, hut take Oar-
and their families.
but they go promptly by the
est In It. One o f his first acts when
Hold Tea, and II K ill! remedy that CURKH.
u»e o l
{ ’resumption against suicide Is held,
sovereign was to establish a complete
In Standard I.lfe nnd Accident lusur- '
Joiners' factory at Y lid lx, In which he
Had All the Marks.
anee Company vs. Thornton (C. C.
superintends the manufacture o f all
Teacher— And how do you know,
App 0th C.) 411 L. It. A. 110, to lie de­
sorts o f articles, mostly o f Ids own de­
my dear, that you have been christ*
which i « « certain »ure cure.
cisive of the ease until overcome hy
sign. These are worked by very elab­
ened ?
orate secret springs. In the invention
Scholar— Please, mum, cause I got testimony, where n passenger on a
sleeping-ear disappeared from It In the
o f which the Sultan takes great delight.
the marks on me arm now, mum,
night, nnd the next morning was found
! He has Just sent to the Russian em­
dead upon the track between the rails,
bassy a" specimen o f his work ns a pres­
TO c r it ic A C O LD IN O N K D A T
Take la x a tiv e Hromo Quinine Tablets. A ll with Ids overcoat on. under circum­
ent to the Czar. It consists o f a table,
f nisglats refund the money it it falla to rura. stances which excluded every hyixithe-
richly Inlaid, with the Hu’.tan's arms in
&. W. Urove'a ala nature iaon each box. I '* .
sls except suicide or accident.
|
WHY MNTTOyWIA* front, where there are four drawers.
Parable of the Sower.
By touching a spring the top tiles open
C h in e s e T e a I t a l s e r * .
and
the center rises, hearing a silver
Teacher— "A n d some fell among
Tliere are over 100,000,000 people In
j plate, on which Is to he found every-
the thorns,” and what happened China who are engaged lu the tea In­
1 thing necessary for smoking. In silver
then t
dustry, and some of them are very
Hmart Hoy— Tho thieves sprang up
and amber. The inside o f the top lias
wealthy, though they know little be
n medallion. In which Is n portrait of
and choked them.
yond the cultivation, mnrketlng nnd
! the Sultan's son. surrounded hy a
I f you are a photographer and have sale of teas. Many of these tea rnis
frame of brilliants.
not received a copy of our 1001 cata­ ers ami tea merchants are mem tiers of
log you have missed a good thing. the secret societies In the empire.
O ne o f M any.
«LAC8 OA VtUOW
Hend for it at once.
Kirk,
Geary A
"H e has gone In for politics. I hear.”
Repentance does not always accom­
. A N D KE EP D R Y ?
Co., 830 Sutter St., Sun Francisco.
"W ell, he certainly Is Interested In
plish reform; a lop eared hound looks eewAue or imitations loo » ron arovc trade m ari
the situation In Washington.”
C ATAL 06 UEÍ FREE
ashamed
hern
use
of
every
theft,
amt
Is
Dayi of Rain.
ohowing Full Lint of Garments and Hata
“ How do you mean? What situa­
always stealing.
A.J .TOVrCR CO.. 1O.V0N.HA9S. < tion?"
I t rains on an average of 208 days
in the year in Ireland, about 1 DO in
Few men with a grievance can tell
N . P . N . D.
so. in -ts o t.
"A n y old situation that they care to
Kngland, at Kczun about !H) days the truth.
H E N w r it in g to a d e o r tls o r s plant* l give him there.” —Philadelphia l ’reaa.
and in Hiberiu only 60 days.
m en tio n t h l» p ap er.
pupa.
COME AND GO
l,»r n t t i« t lf»
D o o m ttf.
I t 1« rls in ird th at w ith in » few yea rs th#
el»< trie m uter w ilt c o m p le te ly « ii p p U n l t h «
steam loc o m o tiv e, and train * w ill then rush
a lo n e »1 a »n eed o f 10O m ile » an hour. T o
tra v e ler« ltd « w ill p r o v e s g re a t h le ««ln g ,
Im t ia« om re «o Ilia n H o a ie n e r » Htonmcti
I'-lller«. ha* nroved a b le -*in g lo ltlo »e w h o
wteh to reirain th eir tie lili q u ic k ly . T h e
Ih iter* cure dyiq>ep«ia. in d ig e stio n , hilious-
ue»r. m alaria, fe v e r and ague, a l»o im ­
p ro v e » the ujqw-tiie and purines the hlood.
City Fellcr’j Advantage.
"T h a t there fa rm ," said the driver,
"o n the off side, belongs to a feller
in town that runs it for hi# health.”
" H o w does he get along?” asked
the drummer.
"O h , ‘ bout ’* w e ll’s the rest of us,
only he don’t have to buy no gold
bricks to come out hater, like we d o .”
C O N G R E S S M A N B O T K IN 'S
R E C O V E R !.
Suffered Tw e n ty-five Years.
Washington, I). C., A p ril 1, 1898.
Dr, H. B. Hartman, Columbus, Ohio,
My dear Doctor— It give» me pleas­
ure to certify to the excellent curative
qualities of your medicines, Feruna
lion J. D. Botkin.
Congres*m»n-«!-L*rge from Kansas.
and Manalin.
I have been afflicted
more or lees for a quarter of a century
with catarrh of the stomach and
constipation; a residence in W ashing­
ton ha» increased these troubles.
A few bottles of your medicines
have given me almost complete relief,
and I am sure that a continuation of
their use w ill effect a permanent cure.
Feruna is surely a wonderful remedy
for catarrhal affections.
J. I>. Botkin.
Tf you do not derive prompt and
f-atiefactory results from ibe use of
Feruna, write at once to l>r. Hart*
man, givin g a full statement of
your ca»e, and he »6 1 bo pk-asod to
give you his valuable advice gratis.
Address Dr. Hartman, l ’reaident of
the Hartman Sanitarium, Colum ­
bas, Ohio.
Necessary Apology.
H e— Newlywed is always talking
about his wife's money.
She— T h a t’s very strange.
" N o t so very.
You just ought to
see her. ”
S te p » th » Cough and
Worka O ff
Cold.
Laxative Rrom<>-v,ufnln<- Tab let» cure a cold ia
oneuwy. No cure. N o Fay. Price 2u cents.
Antiquated.
"M o re new gow ns!” he cried.
"W h y , y e s ," she answered sweetly;
“ A ll of mine are last century style.”
Mothers will find Mrs. W inslow’s 8ooth«
lng Syrup the best remedy to use tor theil
children during the teething period.
The Boston Boy's Ranch.
A western eattle ranch belonigng to
the children of some Boston i>eople,
has been named by them "F o c u s ,”
because it is where the sons raise
meat.
Active man by *rge mnnufa<-turlng hou«e;
In <-a«h ) aid fur l jdu vs triad; promotion
nml (•erinanent po-ltlon if »»liaiMciory. Ad­
dress t>. B. P. Co.. T2I Chestnut St., Phllada.
Contingncies.
Cv Nick— You don't catch me ty ­
ing myself to any namby-pamby fe­
male for life.
Miss Thrust— I dare say not, Mr.
N ick— unless the woman was crazy.
J
S t Jacobs Oil
OTHERWISE!
• ^ O W E Ity
r'SH IVK®
SLICKER
W
One or two hor»e : »lie s S, 9, to »m l tX
McCormick agent, or address
A . H . B O T I.A N , (te n
Call
on
A g l . , P o r t la n d , O r.
For Catalogue and Price*.
YOU R O LD S TR A W H A T
Made new with Strawtne.
Bleaches any Straw Hut.
cents. Send stamps.
Cleans and
By mail, 25
W O O D ARD , C L A R K E & CO., Chemists
Portland, Oregon.
I» he»t tim e to cure Catarrh,
Bronchitis end Consumption.
Our remedy is guaranteed, $1.
p. Ú. Box tua.
W. H. SMITH I CO., Buffalo, N. Y.
L uu KLS WHhRb ALL ELSE FAilS. _
Best Cough 8yrup. Tastos Good. U »
In time. 8old hr druggist*.