The Port Orford tribune., January 29, 1901, Image 1

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European noble. Or if the fellow C A R D F R O M M R . H A IN E S .
starts in enjoying obscure poverty,
Eckley, Jan. 8, 1901.
lie soon finds out that his grand­
B y E koms .
Em-roB
T
r ib it n b : —I have a mud­
htate «irru'MNM:
It is hard for me to comprehend father was a duko in the disguise of
OJ. S . Senator»—Ooo. W . M cBride and
why people complain so fervently a cobbler or dishwasher, or elso he dle I hardly see through, and wish
Joseph Sftnon.
„ „
about the late stormy weather. finds one of his great-grandmother's you to give the space to exchange
C ongressm an—Thom as H . Tongue.
When the weather is fine, and ev­ old stockings in which she had hid­ ideas, or to discuss the same.
»Governor— T. T. (leer.
«lecretarv o( State— F • I- 1 nil bar.
erybody else is busy, my chronic den five or six million silver dol­ About June «, 19001 sent Sheriff
su ite Treasurer—C bas. 8- Moore.
Turner an order on County clerk
Su nt. Hub. Instruction-J.H .A ckerm an. Wedderburn,
idleness is quite a reproach to me; lars.
Oregon.
» ughr Printer, W . H. i^ceUs-
for ISO, to be applied on mv taxes.
The
princes,
dukes,
barons,counts
but when the rain is pouring down
A ttorney-G eneral—P R N . Blackburn.
•Clerk State Board School Land Cotu-
like the storm that floated Noah’s and sirs, however, are about a tnree- I received a letter from Turner
m issioticrs— M- L. C h a m b e r lin .
E R. MILLER, Proprietor.
ark, and others are using up all quarters of the heroes of modern stating that I could only pay 115.25
.'Joint Senator, T. M
u
• Join t R epresentative—R- D. Hum e.
their own profanity and all they romance; the kind of fellows who in scrip. I supposed he hod placed
*--------
'
s « como judicial m stiuct :
I have just taken charge of this
can borrow abusing the stormy have one eye to stick a glass in and 915.25 to my credit on taxes. I
frvorite Travelers’ Resort, and ’
J u d g e, J. W . H am ilton, R oseburg.
weather, I alone feel most exquis­ one to see with. The English peo­ did not receive the order nor was I
«Prosecuting Attorney, Geo. M. Brown;
overhauled and remodeled the
itely happy. I’d be ashamed to ple are continually taking common asked for a smaller one, supposing
.Roseburg.
same. Everything in connec­
COUNTY O F F IC E » » :
exhaust all my solid, well digested ers by the ea*“- and lifting them to J^iat part was fixed all right.
County J u d g e -M . R iley. Gold Beach.
tion therewith is
“cuss words” on the weather, when the peerage.-’' . . i t s is for the beneiii i Mimetime afterward I wrote to
PORT ORFORD, OREGON,
•Com m issioners—F . 11. Blake, Chetoo,
they ought to be saved tor some oc- of the novel writers, and not be- Sheriff Walker to know how much
P . J. Lindberg, Port Orford.
S h e r i f f - J . G . W alker, Gold Beach
casion where they will do more good, cause the maker of eye-glasses has a I owed the County and how much
New and Clean,
«Clerk. C. V. W oodruff, G old Beach.
T
a
k
e
s
p
lea
su
re
in
in
fo
r
m
in
g
th
e
p
u
b
lic
th
a
t
h
e
h
a
s
n
o
w
o
n
h
a
n
d
,
a
n
d
I can’t enjoy a novel when any J pUR( as has erroneously been as- the County owed me, and in reply
Treasures, W. 8 . Wiusor, Gold Beach.
I was 91.85 delinquent on 1898 *»«*.
A ssessor—A. J. M arsh, P oit Orford.
w ill c o n tin u e to r ep le n ish , h is large a n d c o m p le te S to c k o f G e n ­
and in F IR S T CLASS con­
other man in the neighborhood is i gerted.
S chool Su pt.—W illiam S. Guerin, Lung-
era l M erch an d ise, c o n s is tin g of.
dition. We have also a fine
out marring and distorting the
The material for a modern novel which I must pay Nov. 1, 1900.
.Surveyoi— D. Cunniff, Jr., O olJ Beach.
----- | HATH BOOM | ------- L A D IE S and GENTLEM EN’S U N D E R W E A R ,
beautiful grand creations of Nature consists of a hero who dates his an- That was all I found out. I wrote
to the .county clerk to send me all
where
hot
and
cold
baths
can
SIKKT1N0S OF T H E CO URT»:
H O SIER Y , F U R N ISH IN G GOODS, by cutting down trees and digging cestry back to Adam; a heroine
be obtained. A BAH is run in
C ircu it Court m eets on the Third Mon-
up the ground as though his life | «vith golden hair and some ankles the scrip due me, which was 980
connection with the Hotel, YO U TH S’ and C H IL D R E N ’S W EAR,
dav in August of each year.
depended on destroying every bush to get sprained—a heroine without Then I found the order I sent Tur­
C ounty Court m eets on the first Mon- ,
where all up-to-dntedrinkscan
FANCY GOODS NOTIONS, RIBBONS,
days in January, April, July und sep-
be procured at the hands of an
in the forest and turning the land ankles would be a flat failure, an ner had not been drawn as 1 had
teiu her of ta ch y e a r .
exi>crienced, polite and accom­ | LAC ES, EM BROIDERY, B R A ID S, ETC.
arinolu clock, marquette carpets, wished. I earned this 980 in 1899,
bottom side up.
I-OSTOFFCES IN T H E COUNTY.
modating
bar-tender.
SU
IT
IN
G
,
D
R
E
S
S
GOODS,
D
R
ESS
FL
A
N
N
E
L
,
I like reading novels, because it and a villain who is nearly as big a and so did the taxes accumulate
r. n.
käme or office .
during the year 1899, and I sent an
F. H . B la le .
C hetco,
F E E D S T A B L E , also, with rates SATEENS, PLAIN AND F IG U R E D O U T IN G F L A N N E L S in a variety of colors, is an occupation which requires rascal as the hero. Put all this order in due time, but I was not
J.
M
cCutclieu.
H arbor,
neither intellectual nor physical ex­ truck between yellow covers with a
at popular prices, and as low ns is
L inings, Silesius, Buttons, B ind in gs, etc.
given credit by Turner, sad he re­
M a s . E. Hardeubrook. consistent with good service and
Irm a,
ertion. The mail who tries to re­ pitchfork and your novel is done.
M iss Annie D oyle.
Also a com plete assortm ent of Beautif ll Calicos, Apron and Dress G in gham ,
ceived the order before the 7th day
Inaiti B each,
treatment.
Sorad
exceptions
must
be
men­
member what he reads in a novel is
A. I..D u n can .
.W edderburn,
W hite Goods, Percales, Lawn, In d la J .in o n , Lonsdale, T able Linen,
a bigger fool than the fellow who tioned as this critique proceeds. of June 1900. December last I sept
E. H . Friue.
JUihee,
N apkins, Sheeting and P illow -Slip M uslin, T ow els and
wrote it; but I doat on novels. The grand, thrilling Sir Walter the sheriff the 930 in scrip, and 920
Mrs. E. J. Burrow.
Gpliir,
C . L. W akem an.
.F o r t Orford,
They just suit me. Most of them Seott, the immortal Dickens, and cash to pay the taxes of 1899, ac­
Crash, H ouse Lining, Ticking, Oil Cloth,
J. 8 . Capps.
Denm ark,
are so superbly silly and so grand­ good old Thackery, chewing up the cording to card of sheriff Turner
F . M. lutnglols.
Langlois,
ly insipid that they lit into my sys­ dry bones of society. Even Ryder showing total amount of tax for
J . A. H aines.
E c k ley ,
tem like a cork. Then the glaring Haggard, whose imagination runs the year 1900 to be 981 80. Mr.
A. A n hery.
Ague»»,
lies they tell—impossible lies, gi­ riot, like a wild dog with a tin pan Walker gave me credit for 920
Joseph H are.
H are,
AH styles of
gantic lies—to swallow one a fellow to his tail, is an exception to the cash, but I only ordered him to
Elvin M iller.
R agie,
would need a throat like the Mam­ average modern story writer. Jules credit me with 915, and send the
moth cave of Kentucky; such tall Verne ranks with Haggard, for 915 back. Mr. Walker sent the
fabrications couldn’t be shot into a weighed in the scales of an alchem­ scrip back, and says scrip cannot be
J. M. UPTON,
sane individual with an eight-inch ist, no difference could be detected; used after taxes become delinquent
Attorney and Counselor at Law,
Parrot rifle. The heroes and she- the Supreme Court of the United and requests 914.13, balance due.
HARNESS
&
BRIDLES
BA N D O N , O R EG O N .
roes are generally such a judicious, States would not be able to decide I hold the 915.25 should be placed
mixture of marvelous stupidity and whiehjs the most plausible or the to iny credit for it was no fault of
Made to Order.
mine, as I sent Sheriff Turner an
.•■Office u p stairs, in Eldorado B uilding
incipient insanity that a fellow biggest liar.
E u r c l i a I I iu -n c v N O i l ,
A Complete Stock of
feeling makes me fall in love with
1 am fond of liar,, but some of order in due time. Also Tumer’r
them. The hero is endowed with them pleases me loo well. Social card says I owe 931.85, and Walk­
ALL KINDS OF SADDLERY HARD­
BOOTS
AND
SHOES.
S. H. HAZARD,
less sense and more of it than any liars, or liars in everyday life I de­ er after giving me credit Tar »2Q,- *
WARE.
At greatly reduced prices.
is
other character in the story. He test; not, ns some of m y friends saye-4 •?•••* 9 1-t A8-. whbW
& c.
ATTO RNEY & COUNSELOR AT LAW S a d d le -B la n k e ts , B its ,
gets into all kinds of scrapes that a profess to believe, because I am en­ »11.88.
H A H D W A K 1L
Perhaps this little overeharge
schoolboy would be licked for; lots vious or jealous of their superior
E m p ir e C ity , O reguu.
H arness and Saddles repaired at liv in g
fall
to all alike, If so I am not j -
the villain of the tale outwit him ability, but for the reason that they
W ill Practice in the Supreme Court,
prices.
aware of the fact. Also 1 have
take
him
prisoner
and
shut
him
up
do
no
good
and
sometimes
much
and all Courts of this State.
T IN W A R E
I .u
I o I m , O i- e t f o h .
in an underground dungeon, where harm; then, if they happen by mis- been assessed by the Assessor, take
the water is three inches deep on tai4e t0 tell the trqth, nobody be- his figures, then say I bet you that
when the Board of Equalixation
J. HUNTLEY,
the floor, and the rats cat ott his toe
g them.
D R . J . J. C A L D W E L L ,
( Í R A M T E W A « lß , nails. The only regret that one ex- ¡¡e 1 v e trust
none of my novel reading meets my taxable property will be
periencee in reading about him, is triends will be offended at these re- raised. I have had 950 added n
Attorney & Counselor ;U Law P l i y t a i o i a n u n d S u r g e o n ,
CLOCKS
J. Eo. I I a ik as.
W EDDERBURN,
O R E G O N . CROCKERY, LAMPS and LANTERNS, CUTLERY,
when he finally comes out alive, marks. They must remember I am lime or two.
NOTARY PUBLIC,
MIRRORS, ETC.
Apparently, the only thing that a novel reader myself; and some-
L ife a Century Ago.
Diseases of f Julies anil Children a Spec­
saves
him from death is that he is times I think 1 am almost a big
O keuon .
ia lty .
.G old B each
too indolent and stupid to draw his enoUgh fool to write one.
One hundred years ago a man
nothing but th e best ,
G
RO
CERIES--
last breath.
I
----------------- *
C O N W IM T IN G O U
could not take a ride on a steam-
Shad Hudson,
J. E. Haines.
The heroines all have rich, gol-
Senator McComas, who belonging boat.
, W ill Practice in all th e Courts of tlus
Teas, Green and Roasted Coffee, Cocoa, Chocnlate, Spices, Extracts, a den hair. What a Klondike a mi to the opposition party can speak
He could not go from Washing­
State.
H U D S O N & H A IN E S .
Choice Variety of Canned Goods, Dried Fruits of all kind» in Stock. ner would have could he only be without prejudice, said on a subject ton to New York in a few hours.
Public Land Cases a Specialty.
MINING & REAL ESTATE AGENTS.
He had never seon an electric
given the chance to pan’era all o u t:! that is being much discussed tn po-
light
or dreamed of an electric car.
E c k ley , O regon .
a regular bonanza.
' Htical circles: “ Bryan is an able
He could not send a telegram.
GEORGE M. BROWN,
Novels are nearly all founded on man with much magnetic and men-
He couldn’t talk through a tele­
V aluable Mines, F arm s, Stock Ranches
fact; but the fact is at the ' bottom tai force and he is certain to always phone.
A T T O R N E Y A .T
and Tim ber I-and» F or Sale.
He could not ride a bicycle.
and can’t get out. I ’ve sometimes have a following of some magm-
He could n o t call in a steno­
House
and six acres of w ell improved
C a n d y , N u ts, C itro n , L em on and O ra n g e P e e l.
ROSEBURG, OREGON.
felt a little trepidation lest some tude. Beyond ail mere political be- grapher
and dictate a letter.
lai d in W ilbur, D ouglas county for
crazy novelest might mistake me liefs, however, Bryan is a Socialist.
He bad never received a type­
sale, or w ill exchange for property in
M yrtle Point, Coos county.
• L. L. BURTENSIIAW,
for a fact, and make me the founda­ Anyone who has studied the growth written communication.
Sperry’s and Oregon Flour always on hand. tion tor a uovel. If one ever does of Socialism in Europe, has seen it lie had never heard of the germ
so the more truth he leaves out the take positive hold of Germany and theory or worried over bacilli and
a t t o r n e y a t l a w ,
better I’ll like it. But I ’m too low Belgium and France, has watched bacteria.
He never looked pleasant before a
KNAPP
HOTEL,
M y rtle P o in t, O regon .
BACON, LARD, BEANS, COFFEE, SUGAR d
1 < J 1 I 1 BARLEY down financially to be in very much its progress in England, where it photographer or had bis picture ta­
Port Orford, Oregon,
danger. The subject of a novel has developed to a degree winch ken.
Sold as low as the market will permit.
lie never heard a phonograph
L
..
K
N
A
I
’
P
.
P
r
o
p
r
i
e
t
o
r
,
must be a rich man, a soldier or interferes with British commercial talk
AV ill practice in a il the Courts of the
or hmv a kinetoscope turn o u t»
To meet the necessities of the times, my goods are
supremacy, must realize that the
State, and in the U. 8. latnd Office.
prizefight.
day is not far distant when social­
First-class in every respect.
M a r k e d D o w n t o t h e L o w e s t F i g u r e s P o s s i b l e T he E m in en t Kidney
lie never »aw through a Webster
ism will sweep through the United Unabridged Dictionary with the aid
J. II. UPTON,
Orders taken for Suits and fits Guaranteed.
a t ld _ B la d d e r S p e c i a li s t . States. When that day comes,
Go Jd Feed Stable attached.
of a Roentgen ray.
Bryan will be the great Socialistic
C
O
M
M
I
S
S
I
O
N
E
R
,
He hail never taken a ride in an
,U . S .
C A L L A N B G E T P R I C E S B E F O R E B U Y IN G EI.SF.Y, H E R E .
leader. He will have followers from elevator.
NOTARY PUBLIC,
He had never imagined such a
P . d. L IN D B E R G ,
the Republican as well as the Dem­
thing a» a typesetting machine or a
ocratic
and
l
’opulist
parties,
and
if
L anolois , C ubby Co., O kkoon .
ty p e w r ite r .
UNDERTAKER.
hard times should come, arousing
He had never used anything but
envy and jealousy, Bryan would be a wooden plow-
¡Dealer in Town Lots, and Im proved
A Complete Line of Caskets, Coffins
He had never seen his wife using
a dangerous candidate. Ibis, in
and W ild Lands.
and Trimmings.
a
sewing
machine.
my judgment, is to be Bryan's fu­
F ilin g s and Final Proofs M ade on
He had never struck a match on
ture,
to
become
ti.e
great
socialistic
Orders taken for Tombstones and
his pants or anything else.
h o m e ste a d s and P re-em ptions.
Cemetery R ailing.
leader in the United States.”
He couldn’t take an anaesthetic
and have his leg cut off without
PORT ORFORD, OREGON.
GENERAL CONVEYANCING.
As a result of the investigations feeling it.
« SwiB»-KMt at W«k la brutality will be eliminated from
Hu could not buy a pa par and
B t Lsbsratsry.
W M . S. W INSO R ,
making learn everything that had happened
J. W . STR A N G E,
There Is a disease prevailing In this the West Point recijie for
the day titfore uil over the world.
country most dangerous because so decep- soldiers.
He bud never seen a McCormick
i «vs. Many sudden deaths are caused by
JKot&ry Public Keal Estate A
l ________
a
k ________
*'
-•* heart ¡allure
/ —z l
d e n t is t .
pneumonia,
rciqier or a self-binding harvester.
or apoplexy are often the result of kidney
1 He had never crossed an iron
diaease. If kidney trouble Is allowed Io «8-
Insurance Agent.
bridge.
C O Q U IL L E C IT Y , O R E G O N .
1 vance the kidney-poisoned blood will attack
In short there were several things
the vital organs, or the kidneys themselves
; break down and waate away cell by cell.
PORT ORFORD, OREGON.
he could not do nnd several things
Then
the
richness
of
the
blood—the
album«!
W ill v isit Curry C ounty sem i-annually.
1 ho did not know.
—leeks out and the sufferer has Bright s
OFFICIAL
BAT VIEW
DIRECTORY
E rra tic J o ttin g s .
V
HOTEL,
P. J. MASTERSON,
DEALER IN
GENERAL MERCHANDISE
Langlois Harness Shop.
Rubber Goods,
O il
C lo th in g ,
Mens’ & B oys’ H ats & Caps.
Cigars, Pipes and Tobacco.
h
I
u s i U1I
M, n u s, EIS.
Tn per cent. Discount Allowed^ or| Cush, Except
on Flour.
FREE!
N O T A R Y
P U B L IC
JOSEPH H A R E ,
P O R T O R F O R D - - OREGON.
Notary Public 4 Conveyancer
A Jail se t of N otary and Conveyancer’s
blanks will be kept on hand
Disease, the worst form of kidney trouble.
Dr. Kilmer's Swsmp-Root the new dls-
__
oovsry Is the true spec Iflc for kidney, bladder
, . . . and urinary troubles. It has cured thousands
with 1 apparentiy hopeless cases, after all other
have made a contract w,
i eftoru have failed. AI druggl'tls In flfly-cent
and dollar sizes. A sample bottle sent free
me with first-class work
by mall, also a book telling about Swamp-
Root and Its wonderful cures. Address
I Dr. K lim « i t Co.. Binghamton. N. Y. and
mention this pep«.
G et your Portrait enlarged,
WALTER SUTTON,
LA N G LO I8. OREGON.
By purchasing 920 worth of merchandise. I
the Gatewood Portrait Company to furnish
W A N T E D .—Capable, reliable pot-
son in everv county to represent largo
com panv of solid lluanolal reputation;
90M salary per wear, payable weekly;
$:! per day alieofutely sure anil all e x ­
penses; straigh t, Ixina tide, definite
»alary paid each Saturday and cx|»euso
i money ndvanced each week. HTAND-
ARD H OU SE, M t P sabbobn S t ., C hi ­
cago .
3L--12*.