Short Stones
Criticising Your Neighbor
A rather fussy old lady in New-
England once called upon the pastor
with a grievance. The good man's
neckbands were too long for hei
Ideas of ministerial humility, and
after a long harangue on the sin of
pride, she intimated that she had
brought a pair of scissors with her,
and would be pleased if her dear pas
tor would permit her to cut then
down to her notions of propriety.
The pastor had not only listened
patiently, but had handed over the
offending neckbands to be operated
upon. She had cut them down to
her satisfaction and returned the
bibs; it was the pastor's turn.
“Now." he said, “you must, if you
please, do me a favor."
"Certainly, doctor. What can it
be?"
“Well, you have something about
you that is a deal too long, and that
cataes me no end of trouble.
I
should like to see it shorter."
“What is it?” asked the oM lady.
“Here are the scissors; use them as
you please."
“Come, then.” continued the pastor.
“Good sister, put out your tongue!”
—Philadelphia ledger.
This Is “My
Company
Wouldn’t you like to have some money invested in a bi^
Home Company devoted to a useful and necessary service?
“My Company serves over 330,000
people with an indispensable service.
“My Company serves nearly 10 com
munities every day. 365 days in the
year.
“My Company has an annual payroll
of over $4.500,000.
“My Company is the heaviest tax
payer in the community.
A clergyman was in the habit of
going up to his little girl's bedside
each evening s*d telling her a story
before she went to sleep.
One evening he told her such a
thrilling tale that the child, sitting
up in bed, looked very straight at her
father and asked:
“Daddy, is that a true story, cr
are you preaching?” — Pearson’s
Weekly.
“Mv Company in planning to spend
$10, (MM) J MM) toward the further devel
opment of Home Industry.
“My Company is offering me a
chance to make 7.3 per cent on my
money right here at Home.
“My Company is giving me an attrac
tive and easy plan for systematic
savings.”
-
,
That is What Our Home
Investment Plan Means
Collection Box Humor
Here are two new jokes about the
collection box in church, which will be
appreciated by our clerical readers.
(1) Sleepy parishioner, when the col
lection plate is passed: “Never mind,
waiter, never mind, just keep the
change."
(2) The collector ap
proached a parishioner and held out
.the box. “I never give to missions,”
whispered the parishioner.
“Then
take something out of the box, sir,"
whispered the collector; “the money
is for the ’eathen."—Fortnightly Re
view.
I
I
4
ORTLAND Railway, Light and Power Company is an important and vital factor
in the life and growth of the many communities it serves.
P
As these communities thrive and prosper, so must This Company grow and expand.
That is why wc are offering this attractive “Home Investment1’ plan so that we can
keep pace with the increasing demands up^n our facilities.
Furthermore, This Company becomes “Your” Company, when you obtain a financial
interest in it through the purchase of one or more shares of our 7 per cent Prior Pref
erence Stock—offered you at 96 to yield you 7.3 |>er cent returns.
Look into this offer NOW—Don't wait till interest rates drop still more—Use Coupon
Pelow.
Mother (to Betty, who has been
sent home, owing to indisposition of
schoolmistress) — But I hope you
were sorry poor Miss Pringle was ill.
Betty—Oh, I was, mother, but I
couldn't help clapping my hands un
der my breath.—London Punch.
NOTE—NO STOCK HAVING PREFERENCE OVER THIS ISSUE WILL RE CREATED WITH
OUT THE CONSENT OF THE HOLDERS OF A MAJORITY OF THIS CLASS OF STOCK
INQUIRY COUPON
THE MOCKING BIRD
Superb and sole, upon a plumed
spray
That o’er the genera! leafage boldly
grew,
!e summ’d the woods in song; or
typxc dre
The watch of hungry hawks, the
lone di.-may
>f languid doves when long their
lovers stray,
.nd all birds’ passion-plays that
sprinkle dew
t morn in brake or bosky avenue.
■ hate’er birds did or dreamed, this
bird could say.
I
I
Wouldn’t you like to be able to say to your friends:
1922
•PORTLAND
PORTLAND RAILWAY, LIGHT AND
POWER COMPANY
SUIDAS na STATE ’
ELECTRIC BUILDINC
Portland, Oregon
PORTLAND RAILWAY. LIGHT
AM) POWER CO.
Please send me details of your home
investment plan.
Name
Street
Citv or Town
I
"hen down he shot, bounced airily
along
he sward, twitched in a grasshopper,
made song
did flight, perched, prinked and to
his art again.
weet science, this large riddle read
me plain:
low may the death of that dull
sect be
Tie life of yon trim Shakespeare
the tree?
—Sidney Lanier.
WHY NOT SMILESHINE?
ant, more understanding of the feel
About the strangest thing in the ings of other», more generous, more
i
orld is this—that though we ■re aspiring toward larger and better
ery last one of ua exactly human, f'
things—more desirous to give instead
• ill are we not all about ninety per of to get
sit shy and afraid of the world—
I would that everybody’s business
nd each other.
belonged to us only insofar as we
I wonder why it is ? The world could help and love and make it
as made for ua all. / And we were easier and more beautiful for them.
3de—every one of us—to be friends
I think that the greatest business
■d to like each other.
in the world is smile making. And
The world is too big. And there to the greatest profession i—smile giv-
> much room for laughter and ¡n(?
_ . People hide behind hate and
.ppinessi
And everybody likes meanness—but never behind smiles.
ughter and happiness
I have
So let’» do what we can today to
-ver known anyone who did not.
light up the world—most of all, our
And yet, how funny we are! I* particular place of work and stand-
e don’t like some parti<*>ilsfr hu- I ing—with smileshine.—G. A. Adams.
lan, we say so—most a'-vays to
- -
-meone else. We call them names
A
vigorous,
outdoor,
breety moral
and wonder why they are not Like
t, Well the biggest reason why culture lives in the active present,
ley are not like us, is probably be- and, having done its best, dismisses
use we are not like them.
•
the past without regret. The best
We are. alj alx^it the same in feel-
curative for spiritual morbidness is
g and in desire. We long for and
ork toward about the same things, a little unselfish benevolence. Per
tr faces all look something alike, haps because doing good to others
ough each of us does own the only implies less thought of ourselves,
does it seem the most perfect kind
re of its kind ever made.
But we arc all—just human— of happiness. We are in a position
for high spiritual aspirations when
’ter all.
Yet I wish we knew each other we get further away from self.—
tier. I wish we were more toler- Humphrey J. Desmond.
-
National Greeting«
He said he wanted a mortgage, but WANTED—Men or women to take 15 R. I. Reds setting egg», $1. 1918
the lawyer said he should have a war
orders for genuine guaranteed
Ford chassis, $130. 6817 89th S.E.
hosiery, for men, women and chil
A. E. Smith.
“How can you?” That’s Swedish, ranty deed. “No,” said the Swede,
dren. Eliminates darning. $40.00
“How do you fare?” That’s Dutch, “I once had a warranty deed to a
a week full time, $1.00 an hour LADY wishes «Mwing to do at home.
“How do you stand?” That’s Ital- farm, but another man held a mort
Reaso..eble. Mm. H. C. Pratt, 630.';
want
gage
and
he
got
the
farm.
I
spare time.
Experience unneces
ian.
fr/th street. Aut. 624-31.
7-lt
sary. International Stocking Mills,
“God with God, señor!" That’» a mortgage.”
Norristown, Pa.
2-10t
Spanish.
TWO 40x100 loti for sale, CHEAP.
The court was having trouble get
“How do you lire on?"
That’»
9319 67th avenue. Small payment,
CALL R. HEYTING, phone 625-67,
ting a satisfactory jury.
Russian.
terms. W. W. Hays.
7-2tx
for
»and
and
gravel
delivered
at
a
“Is there any reaaon why you could
“How do you perspire?” That’»
reduced prioe.
17-tf
not pass impartially on the evidence
Egyptian.
LOST—badie» gauntlet glove with
“How do you have yourself? for and against the prisoner?" asked FOR SALE—Barred Rock hatching
initiai “B,” at 92nd and Foster. Re
the judge of a prospective juror.
That’s Polish.
eggs. Direst O. A. C. stock. A
ward. Telephone Tabor 5464. 7-2t
“How do you find yourself?” . “Yes,” was the reply, ‘the very
few cockerels for sale.
J. F.
looks of that man makes me think
That’s German.
I-eary, 101st and 55th avenue 8. E. FOR BALE—Brown leghorn eggs
“Thank God! how are you?" That’s he is guilty."
for incubators, 50 cents for fifteen.
6-2tx
“Why, man," exelaimed the judge,
Arabian.
See J. H. Cullons, 8804 88th St.,
“May thy shadow never grow less!” I “that’s the prosecuting attorney."— FOR Ancona eggs for hatching, call
67th avenue.
Indies Home Journal.
That’s Persian.
643-53
It
“How do you’ carry yourself?”
WANTED—Man with car to sell the
1 =
FOR SALE—A hanging lamp, $4. A
That’s French.
BEST Fort Oil Gauge made. $100
9x12 grass rug, $6.75. 5304 97th.
“How do you do?” That’s English
per week and extra commissions.
7-lt
and American.
Benton Hnrbor Accessories Co.,
“Be under the guard of God!”
J
Benton Harbor, Mich.
7-lt
LOST—Elks charm.
Reward if re
That's Ottoman.
Advertisements under this head
turned to Dr. P. J. O’Donnell,
“How is your stomach? Have youi ing 10c per line first insertion; 5c
LENTS GRANGE GLI B
Lents.
7-2t|
eaten rice?” That’s Chinese.
Minimum charge, 25c.
Count six
“How do you stand?” That’s Irish. words to the line. Strictly cash.
A gas or dust cloud has been dis
covered in the heavens by n Dutch
FOR SALE, delivered any
A Swede went into a lawyer1» office WOOD»
where; first class old growth; first scientist which he estimates to be
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 18
to get him to make -out a convey-
class second growth. Phone 614-48. twenty billion times greater than the
L. W. Cooper.
26-tf sun. We hope it don’t drop.
a*re for some land he had purchased.
Admission 35c, Including War Tax
Classified Ads. !
Hard Times Dance
ONE MAN SAID:
“You only took second place, «
Jim, among the raw milk pro-
ducers.”
To which Jim Burdette,
ponded:
“Yes, but that one man lieat
me by one-tenth of one per cent.
He received one per cent on ten-
tenths for sanitary caps, which I
didn’t have. I figure I beat him,
ON MILK, nine-tenths of one
per cent.” J. Burdette, 4918 99th
St., Telephone 632-87.
Nippon
Florist Co.
3715 Slltr-thlrt st
CUT FLOWERS
for all occasion»
Floral Designs a Specialty
¡Phone Auto 636-71