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About Mt. Scott herald. (Lents, Multnomah Co., Or.) 1914-1923 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 17, 1922)
Short Stones Criticising Your Neighbor A rather fussy old lady in New- England once called upon the pastor with a grievance. The good man's neckbands were too long for hei Ideas of ministerial humility, and after a long harangue on the sin of pride, she intimated that she had brought a pair of scissors with her, and would be pleased if her dear pas tor would permit her to cut then down to her notions of propriety. The pastor had not only listened patiently, but had handed over the offending neckbands to be operated upon. She had cut them down to her satisfaction and returned the bibs; it was the pastor's turn. “Now." he said, “you must, if you please, do me a favor." "Certainly, doctor. What can it be?" “Well, you have something about you that is a deal too long, and that cataes me no end of trouble. I should like to see it shorter." “What is it?” asked the oM lady. “Here are the scissors; use them as you please." “Come, then.” continued the pastor. “Good sister, put out your tongue!” —Philadelphia ledger. This Is “My Company Wouldn’t you like to have some money invested in a bi^ Home Company devoted to a useful and necessary service? “My Company serves over 330,000 people with an indispensable service. “My Company serves nearly 10 com munities every day. 365 days in the year. “My Company has an annual payroll of over $4.500,000. “My Company is the heaviest tax payer in the community. A clergyman was in the habit of going up to his little girl's bedside each evening s*d telling her a story before she went to sleep. One evening he told her such a thrilling tale that the child, sitting up in bed, looked very straight at her father and asked: “Daddy, is that a true story, cr are you preaching?” — Pearson’s Weekly. “Mv Company in planning to spend $10, (MM) J MM) toward the further devel opment of Home Industry. “My Company is offering me a chance to make 7.3 per cent on my money right here at Home. “My Company is giving me an attrac tive and easy plan for systematic savings.” - , That is What Our Home Investment Plan Means Collection Box Humor Here are two new jokes about the collection box in church, which will be appreciated by our clerical readers. (1) Sleepy parishioner, when the col lection plate is passed: “Never mind, waiter, never mind, just keep the change." (2) The collector ap proached a parishioner and held out .the box. “I never give to missions,” whispered the parishioner. “Then take something out of the box, sir," whispered the collector; “the money is for the ’eathen."—Fortnightly Re view. I I 4 ORTLAND Railway, Light and Power Company is an important and vital factor in the life and growth of the many communities it serves. P As these communities thrive and prosper, so must This Company grow and expand. That is why wc are offering this attractive “Home Investment1’ plan so that we can keep pace with the increasing demands up^n our facilities. Furthermore, This Company becomes “Your” Company, when you obtain a financial interest in it through the purchase of one or more shares of our 7 per cent Prior Pref erence Stock—offered you at 96 to yield you 7.3 |>er cent returns. Look into this offer NOW—Don't wait till interest rates drop still more—Use Coupon Pelow. Mother (to Betty, who has been sent home, owing to indisposition of schoolmistress) — But I hope you were sorry poor Miss Pringle was ill. Betty—Oh, I was, mother, but I couldn't help clapping my hands un der my breath.—London Punch. NOTE—NO STOCK HAVING PREFERENCE OVER THIS ISSUE WILL RE CREATED WITH OUT THE CONSENT OF THE HOLDERS OF A MAJORITY OF THIS CLASS OF STOCK INQUIRY COUPON THE MOCKING BIRD Superb and sole, upon a plumed spray That o’er the genera! leafage boldly grew, !e summ’d the woods in song; or typxc dre The watch of hungry hawks, the lone di.-may >f languid doves when long their lovers stray, .nd all birds’ passion-plays that sprinkle dew t morn in brake or bosky avenue. ■ hate’er birds did or dreamed, this bird could say. I I Wouldn’t you like to be able to say to your friends: 1922 •PORTLAND PORTLAND RAILWAY, LIGHT AND POWER COMPANY SUIDAS na STATE ’ ELECTRIC BUILDINC Portland, Oregon PORTLAND RAILWAY. LIGHT AM) POWER CO. Please send me details of your home investment plan. Name Street Citv or Town I "hen down he shot, bounced airily along he sward, twitched in a grasshopper, made song did flight, perched, prinked and to his art again. weet science, this large riddle read me plain: low may the death of that dull sect be Tie life of yon trim Shakespeare the tree? —Sidney Lanier. WHY NOT SMILESHINE? ant, more understanding of the feel About the strangest thing in the ings of other», more generous, more i orld is this—that though we ■re aspiring toward larger and better ery last one of ua exactly human, f' things—more desirous to give instead • ill are we not all about ninety per of to get sit shy and afraid of the world— I would that everybody’s business nd each other. belonged to us only insofar as we I wonder why it is ? The world could help and love and make it as made for ua all. / And we were easier and more beautiful for them. 3de—every one of us—to be friends I think that the greatest business ■d to like each other. in the world is smile making. And The world is too big. And there to the greatest profession i—smile giv- > much room for laughter and ¡n(? _ . People hide behind hate and .ppinessi And everybody likes meanness—but never behind smiles. ughter and happiness I have So let’» do what we can today to -ver known anyone who did not. light up the world—most of all, our And yet, how funny we are! I* particular place of work and stand- e don’t like some parti<*>ilsfr hu- I ing—with smileshine.—G. A. Adams. lan, we say so—most a'-vays to - - -meone else. We call them names A vigorous, outdoor, breety moral and wonder why they are not Like t, Well the biggest reason why culture lives in the active present, ley are not like us, is probably be- and, having done its best, dismisses use we are not like them. • the past without regret. The best We are. alj alx^it the same in feel- curative for spiritual morbidness is g and in desire. We long for and ork toward about the same things, a little unselfish benevolence. Per tr faces all look something alike, haps because doing good to others ough each of us does own the only implies less thought of ourselves, does it seem the most perfect kind re of its kind ever made. But we arc all—just human— of happiness. We are in a position for high spiritual aspirations when ’ter all. Yet I wish we knew each other we get further away from self.— tier. I wish we were more toler- Humphrey J. Desmond. - National Greeting« He said he wanted a mortgage, but WANTED—Men or women to take 15 R. I. Reds setting egg», $1. 1918 the lawyer said he should have a war orders for genuine guaranteed Ford chassis, $130. 6817 89th S.E. hosiery, for men, women and chil A. E. Smith. “How can you?” That’s Swedish, ranty deed. “No,” said the Swede, dren. Eliminates darning. $40.00 “How do you fare?” That’s Dutch, “I once had a warranty deed to a a week full time, $1.00 an hour LADY wishes «Mwing to do at home. “How do you stand?” That’s Ital- farm, but another man held a mort Reaso..eble. Mm. H. C. Pratt, 630.'; want gage and he got the farm. I spare time. Experience unneces ian. fr/th street. Aut. 624-31. 7-lt sary. International Stocking Mills, “God with God, señor!" That’» a mortgage.” Norristown, Pa. 2-10t Spanish. TWO 40x100 loti for sale, CHEAP. The court was having trouble get “How do you lire on?" That’» 9319 67th avenue. Small payment, CALL R. HEYTING, phone 625-67, ting a satisfactory jury. Russian. terms. W. W. Hays. 7-2tx for »and and gravel delivered at a “Is there any reaaon why you could “How do you perspire?” That’» reduced prioe. 17-tf not pass impartially on the evidence Egyptian. LOST—badie» gauntlet glove with “How do you have yourself? for and against the prisoner?" asked FOR SALE—Barred Rock hatching initiai “B,” at 92nd and Foster. Re the judge of a prospective juror. That’s Polish. eggs. Direst O. A. C. stock. A ward. Telephone Tabor 5464. 7-2t “How do you find yourself?” . “Yes,” was the reply, ‘the very few cockerels for sale. J. F. looks of that man makes me think That’s German. I-eary, 101st and 55th avenue 8. E. FOR BALE—Brown leghorn eggs “Thank God! how are you?" That’s he is guilty." for incubators, 50 cents for fifteen. 6-2tx “Why, man," exelaimed the judge, Arabian. See J. H. Cullons, 8804 88th St., “May thy shadow never grow less!” I “that’s the prosecuting attorney."— FOR Ancona eggs for hatching, call 67th avenue. Indies Home Journal. That’s Persian. 643-53 It “How do you’ carry yourself?” WANTED—Man with car to sell the 1 = FOR SALE—A hanging lamp, $4. A That’s French. BEST Fort Oil Gauge made. $100 9x12 grass rug, $6.75. 5304 97th. “How do you do?” That’s English per week and extra commissions. 7-lt and American. Benton Hnrbor Accessories Co., “Be under the guard of God!” J Benton Harbor, Mich. 7-lt LOST—Elks charm. Reward if re That's Ottoman. Advertisements under this head turned to Dr. P. J. O’Donnell, “How is your stomach? Have youi ing 10c per line first insertion; 5c LENTS GRANGE GLI B Lents. 7-2t| eaten rice?” That’s Chinese. Minimum charge, 25c. Count six “How do you stand?” That’s Irish. words to the line. Strictly cash. A gas or dust cloud has been dis covered in the heavens by n Dutch FOR SALE, delivered any A Swede went into a lawyer1» office WOOD» where; first class old growth; first scientist which he estimates to be SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 18 to get him to make -out a convey- class second growth. Phone 614-48. twenty billion times greater than the L. W. Cooper. 26-tf sun. We hope it don’t drop. a*re for some land he had purchased. Admission 35c, Including War Tax Classified Ads. ! Hard Times Dance ONE MAN SAID: “You only took second place, « Jim, among the raw milk pro- ducers.” To which Jim Burdette, ponded: “Yes, but that one man lieat me by one-tenth of one per cent. He received one per cent on ten- tenths for sanitary caps, which I didn’t have. I figure I beat him, ON MILK, nine-tenths of one per cent.” J. Burdette, 4918 99th St., Telephone 632-87. Nippon Florist Co. 3715 Slltr-thlrt st CUT FLOWERS for all occasion» Floral Designs a Specialty ¡Phone Auto 636-71