Th« Wonder of It. on her afternoon REALLY NOT HIS LINE LOOKFOR THE | out R to see had her called friend, Arabella. Ara­ »thing contribute« 1 more tj life than a fine »et of Teeth. A gold an*r particular« write or rail who has been passing hisself off ua UlrtK DENT AL < <>.. K<»>m« tll«tt Fading BUI«., 3rd at Waah . Portland. Ora. Phono A around here as a fighter? Whoop! or M «»r Rar View, Tillamook Co.. Ormron. Maugh, Ugh! Somebody p'int him out Dnacw Kvrrv Niatil Pool. Billiard» & Beal la« Harf Baihlaa; Hea Hah I a«. to nie and then tie my hands and legs whilo I bite his ears off!” Cur alleged terror turned pale and looked nervous ar.d the Cedar Flats “USE THE RIVER" man pranced around cracking his heel« together ar d shouting: "Whoop! Put him out! Let him Htata of Wa»hinrtr»n. for Th« Dallaa dally ox. Rurvlay II p. m. I*«'«ve Dalle« daily ax. Monday stand before me! Tie me all up In 12 M Rteamrra J N. Teal. Inland Empire and Twin Citi«* for lipper Columbia ami Snake rIvor knots, head me up in that bar!, and pot nt a. Taylor Hu Duck. Tai. Mam «13. then I'll lick him or go over the cliff! * i B mw t by espfene peo> a« a rag. and It was all of half an hour tai l I«*» |t- before he could walk away. ■ABOLO BOMBAI. IM XHBalk Ava.. Broofclpa. ■- T. "How do you account for It?” I asked him as he was ready to go. Spiteful. “I must have gone in the wrong busi­ Bagged Roger«—"De lady in de next ness," he gloomily replied. house give me a piece of homemade "How do you mean?" cake. Won't you give me somethin', "I ought to have been, a preacher." toot Mrs. Spiteful—"Certainly. I'll —Chicago Daily News. get you a n«" -'" •-•■'nt "—Exchange. raicica nkaxonahi . k worm glarantkkd Sam Connell Lumber Co. Portland, - Oregon Illustrated Catalog, k________ J BAR VIEW HOTEL Dalles-Columbia Line Drowning Season Hara. Agreed With Him. Don't rock the boat! It is not mere­ “Your husband la looking so much ly a foolish sort of joke to do It; It better nowaday». Mrs. Nurich." “Ye«. is very frequently a murderous or It'« the new treatment. He’s been try­ suicidal joke. If you cannot swim do ing io me Immunity bath«."—Buffalo not wade out where the water 1« up Express. to your chin. If you do, you may sud­ denly step Into a hole that lift« the Ylred of It. water above your mouth and nose, “Let’s «It down and have a quiet and when that happen« the chances talk about the war” "Impossible." are large that it will be your funeral “You mean you haven't time?" “No. the next day or as soon as your re­ 1 haven't the patience*' mains can be found. Don't dive from a high place without being sure the Must Travel to Know. water is not so shallow as to result The world la a country which no­ In your head striking bottom. Don't body ever yet knew by deacrlptlon; crowd five people into a boat made for out must travel through It one'e »elf three, or throe people Into a boat to be acquainted with it.—Chester- made for two. Don't play foolish fleld. pranks such as pushing a boy who cannot swim Into deep water. Don’t go out on the bay In a small motor Fixing the Blame. "mink« says that when hefc wn« boat. A storm may come up and your young he waa the architect of hl» small ship be capsized. The drowning season Is here. There own fortune.” "Didn't they have any has never been a summer within the building Inspector« In those day«?" memory of the oldest citizen of the city that has not been marked by Optimistic Thought. He la not yet born who can please drowning tragedies. everybody. Considerate Wife. Senator John W. Weeks of Massa­ chusetts smiled when one of a party tn a Boston club alluded to henpecked husbands, and said that he was re­ Racreaaftil Horn« minded of a man named Rates. K rm rd lea One afternoon Rates was having a Hla nucrraaful herb­ al remedies euro all little gabfest with an old acquaint­ kind« of a.lmenta of ance, when the latter spoke of mar­ men and women with­ out operation, used ried life and the beauty of,havlng a from the wonderful happy home. Chinee«* harta. root«. budn an«I ve»«-tables, which are unknown to "That’s where 1 have a whole lot to the medical science of thia country. be thankful for," said Bates. "I have Writr for blank and circular«. Send stamp. CONSULTATION FREE. Address a wife who looks after me constantly. As a matter of fact, there are times Ute C Gee Wo Chinese Medicine Co. 1C2H Tint SI,. Portland. Ora. * when she even takes off my shoes Mention Paper. for me." "I see," thoughtfully mused the ac­ quaintance. "I suppose that la when Na 30. Illi F. N. U. you come home tired at night.” "No, no." smilingly corrected Bates. "It Is when she thinks that I am about to elide out early in the evening."— Philadelphia Telegraph. C. Gee Wo 'i 1/ WHEN BUYING Rifle or Pistol Cartridges Winchester Cartridges— the Brand---- are sure fire and accurate. In Winchester and other makes of guns they al- ■ ways give the best results I-and results are what I count. They cost a few cents more than inferior makes, but they are dollars better. A A W S olo or D kalkrs I vistwhisi . ta Reston for Her Social Prominence. "Eh-yah!” said the landlord of tho tavern at Polkville. Ark., In reply to the question of the Kansas City drum­ mer. "The lady that just passed Is one of our most prominent society leaders. She’s already caused four men to be shot, and as you saw, she’s still me­ dium young and considerable hand­ some." Will Not Eat Flesh of Cat No carnivorous bird or quadruped in England will eat the flesh of a cat. The rule applies even to the carrion crow, which will devour dead dogs greedily 8elf-Rlghteous. "Some people.” said Uncle Eben, "talks about heaven like it was their own property dat dey was preparin’ to tack a ’No admittance* sign on to." —Washington Star No Hurry for Details. Passenger (to chauffeur)— “Hey! you've run over a man. Aren't you going to «top?” Chauffeur—"Naw! 1 can read all about it In the papers.“— Boston Trnnscrfn». Eat Skunks in Argentina. The Gauchos of the Argentine are in the habit of hunting skunks, not merely for their fur, but also for their flesh. Sate to Pardon. When a man is sincerely penitent, and gives satisfactory evidence of the same, he can safely be pardoned.—Lin­ coln. Real Hypocrite. ■‘A hypocrite.' said Uncle Eben, "Is a man dat takes credit fot makin gar den when he's only diggin’ flshin' worms.' THOUGHT SHE COULD HOT LIVE Restored to Health by Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound. Unionville, Mo.—"I suffered from a female trouble and I got so weak that I could hardly walk across the floor with­ out holding on to something. I had nervous spells and my fingers would cramp and my face would draw, and I could not speak, nor sleep to do any good, had no appetite,and everyone thought I would not live. Some one advised me to take Lydia E. Pink ham '• Vege table Compound. 1 had taken ao much medicine and my doctor said he could do me no good so 1 told my husband he might get me a bottle and I would try it By the time I had taken it I felt better. I continued its use,and Dow I am well and strong. “1 have always recommended your medicine ever since I was so wonder­ fully benefitted by it and I hope this letter will be the means of saving some other poor woman from suffering.”— Mrs. M artha S eavky , B ox 1144, bella's mistress had just purchased a parrot, and R om waa much interested In the bird. "Birds 1« shore sensible,” she ob­ served. “You kin learn them anything. I uster work for a lady that bad a bird In a clock, an' when it was time to tell de time ob day It uster come out an’ say 'cuckoo' just as many times aa de time wa«." “Go along. Yo* doan’ «ay so," «aid Arabella, Incredulously. "Hhore thing," replied Rose, “and de moi' wonderful part was dat It was only a wooden bird, too.”—Harper's Monthly. A bill has been introduced tn the I California legislature providing pay of $2 for each day lost by people arrested and tried for crime who escape con­ viction. Many people suffer from ennui, but think of the man who, when told he must go to the rack, remarked: "Oh, well, it will help me pass an hour or two!” King George of England Is the In­ ventor of a stove that will serve as an open grate in one room of a house and cook meals in the usual way In an­ other. Fire losses and the expense of fire prevention cost the United States more each year than the total value of its production of gold, silver, cop­ per and petroleum. Hawaii, with a population of 200,- 000, had a foreign trade last year of To get pastry to raise and stay raised under these con­ *76.000,000. The trade total was but *6,800,000 in 1897, the year before an­ ditions, a baking powder must be used that continues to give off nexation to this country. its leavening gas— that sustains the raise—until the dough is A remarkable fog on the Peruvian biiked through. coast is known as the "garúa." It oc­ Dining Car Chefs have found a baking powder exactly suited curs in a region where rain is un­ to their reeds In K C and you will find it just as well suited to known, and supplies sufficient mois­ your requirements. K C is really a blend of two baking powders, ture to support vegetation. one active as soon as moistened, the other requiring both mois­ Alligator eggs are eaten by the na­ ture and heat to start the generation of leavening gas. No matter tives on the west coast of Africa. In how moist and rich you make your cake, K C Baking Powder will taste they resemble the egg of tile do­ sustain the raise until a crust is formed and all danger of falling mestic hen, but are larger and slightly is past stronger in their flavor. The little girl who described a toad K C Baking Powder is pure and healthful. It is guaranteed as "a big green bug with warts al! over under all pure food laws, and is guaranteed to please you. And it it, who's always sitting down behind is sold at a reasonable price—no baking powder should sell for more. and standing up in front," will prob­ ably become some day a famous nov­ Tru a can at our ri»k and be co minced. elist, or even a manicurist. The Bosporus, which leads to the Black sea, and the entrance to which Constantinople and Scutari command, Different. is about 17 miles long, with a breadth FOR SALE-AUTOMOBILES "Right this way, sir,” said the head of from little more than a third of a waiter. "I'll get you a good table, mile to two miles. where you can watch the dancing.” "But I don’t want to watch the danc­ Constipation causes and aggravates many serious diseases. It is thoroughly ing,” objected the patron. “I want to cured by Dr. Pierce’s Pleasant Pellets. eat” “In that case,” replied the head The favorite family laxative. waiter, “you'd better try the Owl Lunch Wagon on the corner. This is All the Difference. Little Molly had been very trying all a restaurant” day. That evening, when her grown-up Cumulative Injury. sister was putting her to bed, she said "Do 17-year locusts arrive every 17 she hoped the child would be a better years ?" A Safe Used Truck to Buy. girl tomorrow, and not make every­ "They come offener’n that," said A REBUILT FEDERAL U as goo« body unhappy with her naughty tem­ Farmer Corntossel. value for the money as a new truck. By we mean that the truck ts entlrsiv per. “Then how do they get (heir name?“ rebuilt taken apart, each part examined and if Mollie listened in silence, thought “I s’pose mebbe it's because when necessary replaced by a new part mad» hard for a tew momenta, and then said they come around it takes a place 17 at the Federal factory, the entire truck and reflnlshed, and everythin® wisely: years to get over it.”—Washington repainted necessary done to make the truck practi­ “Yes, when It's me It's temper; Star. cally as good as new in every detalL when it's you it's nerves!”—Pbiladel- When you buy a rebuilt Federal y