Thursday, March 27. IIM)
THE TRIBl’NK, TURNER, OREGON
OUR COMIC SECTION
Pa«e 7
Curre
Wit
1 that (
sluggish
feeling
P u t yourself right with nature by
chewing Peen • u • mint. Works mildly
but effectively in small doses. Modern
— safe — scientific. For the family.
Along the Concrete
• (C75T M tT W O AMD
IT W OULD H E L P
A HALF POLLA R 5 TO HAVE
THAT CAR WASHED AHP
& LISH EP OH SATUffPAV-
W TH IN 6 P i ? |N 6 W E L L
The small car had balked again, and
while one climbed under It to work,
the other sat and chatted. "You know,
I don’t think 4-1 hours such a short
week. Look at the American auto fac­
tory, where they only work 88.”
“Yes," said the mechanic with s
grunt, “but I think they might put la
another ten tightening up the outs.”—
Sydney MalL
THE STREET (Afc
eenamint
L Z ?P
AS K FOB
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T H | ORIGINAL
peeriam in t
c 7 h* Chtwinq Gum
L A X A T IV E
tJo Tasi* But the Mint
Chew It
Wv Like Gum
A
W H E N H IT H A R D
FOR CONSTIPATION
S t r u c t u r e o f H u rtle ,» I r o n
Architects and metallurgists all
over the world are watching with
Interest the progress of a building
at Essen, Germany, being erected of
rustless Iron. The Krupp works are
responsible for the Innovation.
“A man’s often hurt by falling In
love."
“That's only when he's hard hlL”
THE FEÀTHERHEADS
The*e Women Driver*
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P a th w a y o f G reatness
H e r i s e s t o a n office h i g h
And to o n e l o f t i e r , by a n d by
E a c h n e w p r o m o t i o n b id s h i m f ret
W i t h t r o u b l e s s r o w i n g g r e a t e r yet.
E n d M en T a k e N o tic a
Rastus—Here am a telegram from
de boss In Afrlcy. He done say he am
«endin’ us some lions' tails.
Circus Owner’s Wife—Lions' tails,
Rastus? What on earth are you talk­
ing about?
Rastus—Well. Jes read dls telly-
gram yo'self. It says Jest as plain:
“Just captured two lions. Sending do
tails by mall."
E ast and W est
“1 went out West I d *80.“ sold the
New Yorker.
“How fur d’yu git?" queried the
' miner.
“Buffalo," said the New Yorker.
“1 went East th’ same year,” said
the miner. “Went as fu'r Butte. Mon
j tana. Nearly ran Into each other,
didn't we?"—New York Times.
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T he H elp m ate
' MUSBAOO AAS WOBA 6 AV
gome i o Mts fim a i a s S M 6
“Isn’t It nice to have a husband who
spends all Ills evenings at home?”
“Yes; 1 enjoy myself so much better
when I know he's there with the chi)
dren."—Chicago Dally News.
PLACE, DUE TO HER BAÇKUOâ
OOT OF A GARAGE W * * H i
HELP THE P O O R S ! ----- -
F a c in g D e a th
Returned Explorer (bonMfnlly)—
Tea, gentlemen. I have faced death In
• hundred forma.
Little Perkins—Really! Doctor or
undertaker?
HEELS O VER
M edical P r a c t i c e
“IIow Is It you hnve such n large
practice and are so beloved by your
patients, doctor?’*
“I tell those who are really III that
they are quite well and those thnt
Imagine that they lire III that they
ure very III."
A
M EAN
T R IC K
ton. “If you are talking politics, proh-
ntily not. She l i a s to *tHy awake and
attend to her work."—Washington
Slur.
Tw o P lay ed a t O n a P la n o
Ml«« Lady Hug- I think you ought
to he ashamed of yourself. Willie Lo
curt, to make love to me and then
leave me for seventeen years I
N o T e m p t a t i o n to L ia ta n
“Do you think the telephone operat­
or listen* In when I nin miking?'*
*'li probably depend« on wlmt you
•re talking about," answered Mr. Meek-
Betty—I don’t think the Smiths can
bo so well off as they were.
Derek—Why not?
"The Inst time I wnn there two
people had to play one piano."
A
D iffe r e n t Matte«-
Smith—So your son Is In college?
How la he milking It?
Smlthera—lie Isn't. I'in milking It
and he's spending It.
chance — at the first sniffle rub 00
Children's Muitero^ once every hour
for five hours.
Children's Mustetole is just good old
Musterole, you have known so long, in
milder form.
Working like the trained masseur, this
famous blend of oil of mustard, camphor,
menthol and other ingredients brings
relief naturally. It penetrates and stimu­
lates blood circulation, helps to draw out
infection and pain.
Keep full strength Musterole on hand,
for adults and the milder — Children’s
Musterole for little tots. All druggist*
C H I L D R E .V S
A n y t h i n g E ls e B u t
Judge—On what grounds are you
seeking a divorce from your wife?
H u s b a n d — Misrepresentation.
When I asked her to marry me she
said she was agreeable.—Capper’«
Weekly.
There are men who are so afraid
ot their wives they'll eat lettuce.
R e tu rn P ostage
A callow rhymester went to a wist
man with the question: "What bool
Is most useful to n poet?”
’’A book of stamps."
W a n ts All the
W orld to Know
A F A S T SET
Poor Suitor—Darling. I in heel*
over head In love with you I
She—Well, as soon ns you’re on
your feet I may consider your suit.
R e a lly S a rio u a
Doctor—Have you uny difficult
cases In your practice?
Colleague—I am Just going to one—
he has owed me his hill for n year.—
Der Lusllge Snchse. Leipzig.
head colds often “settle“
in throat and chest where they may
C OMMON
become dangerous. D on’t ta k e
HEAD
P ere ista n t A n tag o n ist
“Can you give me a Job In this cir­
cus as a wrestler?’’
“Have yon done any wrestling?”
“All my life."
"With whom?"
“With adversity."
Mothers • • .Watch
Children’s colds
C r a m p Is a n A sset
Grace—"She goes with a fast net.
eh?" Maggie—“She associates with
nothing hut former college truckmen,
my dear.”
S h e a a k ed me for a n a u t o g r a p h ;
ClIn gln R a r o u n d m y n e c k
I f e l t q u ' t e f l a tt e r e d t i ll I f o u n d
r d autographed a ch eck !
W o r a a " S p i r i t u a l ’’ Dreaa
Claude—Hasn't Mona got on a splr
Itual
dress?
*
J u s t O nce
Rrlan—What do you mean, spiritual '
Harry—Did you ever make n public
Claude—Well, there Isn't much nin
s|>eech ?
Iorini about IL—Royal Arcanum Bulle
George—Yes, Just once. I made * tin.
proposal to my girl over the phone.
U nkind
Gerald—I hnve a bone to pick with
you.
Geraldine—Is thnt why you are
scratching your head?
H e r d W h a t la
“nig hoy.” sold Sum bo. “Ah’s hawd
as nnlls.’’
“Yeah,'* ynwned Rastus. “Well, et
ah diamond hit niuh It would splatter
dal’s bow ba]rd Ah Is.”
•‘About ten years ago I got
so weak and rundown that I
felt miserable all over. One day
my husband said, ‘Why don’t
you take Lydia E. Pinkham’s
Vegetable Compound?’ When
I had taken two bottles 1 felt
better so I kept on. My little
daughter was bom when I had
been married twelve years.
Even my doctor said, ‘It’s
wonderful stuff.’ You may
publish this letter for I want
all the world to know how this
medicine has helped me.”—
Mrs. Horten Jones, 208 48th
Street, Union City, N. J.
Lydia E. Pinkliam's
Vegetable Compound
l F * PíttJihjni MÍO* Go . l»rin, Mit«
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