THE TRIBUNE. TURNER, OREGON Common Artistic Error W orld Events 1Picturcc H A P P E N IN G S E V E R Y W H E R E A N D P E R S O N S • * • OF N O TE A S SEEN B Y T H E C A M E R A « ♦ • HOW TO U V E LONGER T Russians Store W heat in Churches While the saint* In this Russian church at I'etrovaky look down henlgnantly. peasants bring In their wheat crop. Ear* It duly recorded by a roimnlaaar and then taka It to the hugs mound o f wheat In the nave. 8» great la the C r o p tbla year that ordinary means o f storing It have been exhnuatsd. Official* were forced lo use churches. New Bridge Links Indiana and Kentucky in Depicting New Moon Artists accustomed to Inserting a hew nmon In a picture In th# iu<>*' artistic position often transgress the law* of nature, aa th* bom s of the crescent moon must always point In a definite direction, depending primarily oo the latitude o f tha observer. In th# north temperate zone the new moon aa seen Just after »onset always points upward and to th* le ft In this latitude th* aun circles to th* eouth | and, aa It approaches th* western hor- No Nood to Bo Ashamed HE other day • In «lib officer Larked I Ison descends obliquely from left to ap a scarlet-fever sign on a mao's i right. The new moon, following tbs SO COOL HE FORGOT boose. When night came the owner aun. take* approximately tha same course, and alnc* the horns always A few minutas after an alarm of tore It down. The oext evening be Rre waa given lu a betel, one of the paid a line of fifty dollars and coats point away front the son, they torn upward and to th# left. guests Joined Ute group that was for Interfering with a health law ! In the southern part o f the earth It seems that this particular house watching the Bra, and chatted them on their ap|>ar*nt escItenieuL “There holder waa ashamed o f the sign and the reverse Is true, while In th* trop Lots o f folks who think they h e e l ics th* horns point almost directly up waa nothing to be eaclted about,“ be somehow concluded that be waa per “Indigestion“ have only an acid coodU ward. Tb# position o f th# old moon ■aid. “ I took my time about dress sonally discredited for having It ns It rises In th# morning la the re tton which could he corrected In flvd Ing, lighted a cigarette, didn't Ilk# ilia there—a silly notion, o f course. verse o f that o f tb* new moon ns or ten minutes. An effective antl-aetff fdaease Is no reaped or o f persona. knot In my necktie, so tied It over viewed from the name latitude—Pope like Phillips Milk o f Magnesia goad I.Ike rain. It falls upon the good and again -that's bow coól I was.“ restores digestion to normal. Ur Mechanics Magazine. “ Kina," one o f hie frieuda remarked, the bad. the rich and the poor, the Phillips does away with all th e ! “ but why dldu*t you pul on your wise and the foolish. Therefore, on- sourness and gas right after meals. U T h a a k fs l lees one baa thoughtlessly or delib prevents the distress so apt to orcuq p e a la r James, living In Irvington, bad a two hours after eating. What a pleas' erately done something to direct Ill ness to one's self or others, there la party on hla sixth birthday, which ant preparation to take! And bowl No “ Eacus* I t P U a e e " certainly nothing about which to earns the day before Thanksgiving, good It Is for the system I Unlike ■ “ Tea. lady, getUng tha wrong aum blush. In other words. It may be hard and twelve children were hla guests, burning dose o f soda—which la buf her got me here," said prisoner No There temporary relief at best— Phillips luck to have a communicable disease seated around the table. 71128. seemed tc be nothing worth talking Milk o f Magnesia neutralises many) “ iJear, dear!“ exclaimed the old lady In one’s home, but It most emphatical about they were so busy eating, so times Its volume In add. visitor, “ 1 auppoae you uaed such pro ly Is not a crime. Epidemics are serious, costly and one o f the grownups present asked Next time a hearty meal, or too rfcM fane language the telephone company deadly things. Quarantine Is designed them to tell wbat they were thankful a diet has brought on the least d l i complained.” “ No," replied the prisoner; “ you see, to limit the spread of contagion and for. In turn they said they were comfort, try— usually satlsfadorlJy fulfills Its pur- thankful for a lot o f things. tha officer* found I bad three wives. One little girl said she was thank- pose. In fact. It Is the most success ful public besJtb weapon that can be fnl there la a Santa Claus, and a five- N OT NECESSARILY BETTER employed when a communicable dis year-old boy sa id : “ Pm thankfnl I’m not a turkey.” — Indianapolis News. ease asserts Itself. It would be foolish to eey that this Cawtiows M otorist control method la not a decided Incon venience to the family Involved. Bat There la a woman who llres In a the law o f the greatest good to the Pittsburgh (Pa.) suburb who takes no greatest number must always prevail. chances o f being sued by any one who one k n lf,. lead for tro* trial pack**«, pee- •rrlptloa VVl-A and ho convinced. C AM A!« Consequently, lrres(>ectlva o f tempo might be Injured while riding with D R V O CO.. Box <1«1. Portlnad, O r n o » . rary Inconvenience or dealre, under on her In her automobile. The woman circumstances “ crash1* a quarantine haa had form slips prepared and sign. This applies equally to the every one— even her closest friends— “ outs," aa well aa to the “ Ins." must sign one o f these slips each time before starting out In the car. The Y oa r W riting P aper forms are ao worded that If any guest D e lig h t y o u r sw eetheart, relativa s occupant o f the car sustains Injuries, and daaraat irlanda w ith th is par - Vibrating for Health son a lltjr w r itin g papar. New— In d i the woman la absolved from all blame. f T WAS naturally to be expected tha v id u al— D istin ctiv e . Fin* g ra d * H a m - m erm ill B on d rip p le finish papar— * this being an electrical age, mechan I f you wish beautiful clear white 14 ahaata— 14 en velop e*. W hit*, blu* ical exerciser* would eventually make o r bu ff. T o u r p ictu r e o a ev ery sheet. clothes, use Russ Ball Blue. Large tbelr appearance. And ao It has c oca* Send no m o n e y , p ay p ostm an g l .4*. package at Grocer*.— Adv. First Girlie— You say you like him to pass that electricity. In the form of Sand y o u r fa v o r it a sn a p sh ot (p r in t o r n e g a tiv e ) n o w to because he's a better nianT vibrating machine*, are now literally M arried W om a n 's Nam e T H I P H O T O S C R IP T COM PANY Second Girlie— No—a petter man. taking the heart oot o f exercise. Actually there Is no federal nor, so D e p t. S • aaSS O e n u i l e w a A r e . The value of such a device to those far aa wa can ascertain, state law P h ila d e lp h ia . Pa. P ractical E con om ies wboee heart action I* Impaired un which arbitrarily compel* a woman to A fo r tu n e g rea t m ay i r o n , questionably la a real one, all other bear her husband's surname unless she And yet, b e fo re he e ih r o u g b w ith H. things being equaL And for many lacy wishes to do so. Recently the United A m an m ay e ca rcely kn ow and extra stoul people who absolutely States controller Issued an order that P re c ise ly w bat to do w ith It. refuse to take their exercise by way married women In the government em o f physical exertion. It will also be of ploy should algn their husband's sur C old C o m fo rt Gerald— You don't seem pleased some benefit. name when signing the pay roll.— However, generally speaking, this Washington Star. when I suggest you have a lovely dla worthy machine, like every other position. Clarice— I'm not. Telling a girt she treatment agency, must be handled haa a lovely disposition la usually an with common sense. It la quite con apology for not being able to say she ceivable. for example, that a person Is either good-looking or Intereetlng suffering from a sub-acute case o f ap pendicitis would not be very much helped by having the abdomen thu* Com D epend o e O ne N atioe “This nation cannot be trusted to mechanically massaged. Indeed, there may be any number o f slomberlog con support and defend liberty T" “ N o; the only nation that enn be ditions which wonld be better off with depended upon to do that la Indigna out the use of such a machine Then, too, there Is a tendency to tion." overdo the thing In the desire to mas W o rld • L | 9 * sage off fa t; and In this way delib A Trick o f the T rad e The Salesman — These Imported erately disregard the sensible operat ing rules set down by the manufactur breakfast robes don't go very well. Ire led m e l o n e e e e t M fl fre e a l:h prie* U n . I ( . N The Manager— Advertise ’em nert ers o f these contrivance*. Bauibtna ton pee pine- IA m f ter ivc per box poet- \ i week as ladles' smoking Jackets; It perhaps might be a wise proce pmd. Writ* or anlL ' ------- S e ed T O D A Y fax FREE loo- dure. therefore, to use the vibrator that'll muve 'em. L kiek O M Price* B A R D C«t B 7 A 4 M B IN A C O M P A N Y C Ctiti only after the phjslclan advises that 11* Strain M a a r W o e h ile S treet Leghorn. Records to L 9 y 0 n < n , M aes. ^ n 70 a get them. Guaranteed to lit« a your physical condition will be bene SHIPPED W EST ordinary chicks Low price« on pnile'*. bei •Is. hatching «mg* Catalog aad bargain ha] fited by so doing. Fresent-day civilisation is not nota ble for Its exercise producing tenden cies. which often blinds many to the very fundamental fact that the bu- “ Tw ill M ake H im H appy This Fam ily P rolific mnn system was constructed on the He— Are yon really embroidering Only thirty-seven years old, the w ife basis of sweat-producing work and a that foot pillow for me, dear! o f a laborer at Ueberlosheim, Ger real nse of the body muscles. And She— Yes. love, but. If you ever dare many, baa just giveD birth to her frankly, nothing has ever been, or will to put your foot on It I won't speak to eighteenth child. The mother herself be, devised that can fully and entirely you for a week. Is the eighteenth child o f her parents, be substituted satisfactorily for It. and her seventeen brothers and sis If well, and desiring to do so, nse a If you must put your oar In, wait ters boast o f ninety-seven children. vibrator. But don't forget that your till the row is all over. Her parents are still tiring and re body needs the .good old-fashioned cently celebrated their golden wed garden variety combination of dally Politeness can be a fence to keep ding surrounded by one hundred eight fresh air and actual exercise also. If people at their distance. een children and grandchildren. sick. or near alck. vibrate for health WhenRyod Sours YOUR PICTURE on The new Madison Milton bridge, costing 11,800,0110, which shortens the distance between Indianapolis and Frank fort, the capital eitle* o f Indiana and Kentucky, by forty mile*. It also opens a new abort route from Chicago and the Northwest to riorlda and tha South coast. The bridge apana the Ohio river between Madison, Ind„ and Milton Ky. Princes» Eagle Eye I» Crowned W ELCOM E, STRANGER' WIGS and @ “ Prehistoric oyster* were found In the Potomac river recently." “ Yea, I think I ate some o f them In a restaurant the other day.'* Bat Today’* Night* The city o f Oaklnnd. Onllf.. haa In stalled a novelty for the benefit o f strangers. At the corners o f the prin cipal streets, chained to oosts, are city directories— hooks with steel leaves on which are maps and directions to points o f Interest. RECORD FOR GREENLEAF la d ay* o f old when knighte were bold Politen ess held Its reían. Men o ( that 'r ib * w ou ld not d escribe T h eir lady a* a “ la n e." She M eaat W ell Mrs. B. (writing to beloved traveler hnsband) — Dearest, day urn! ulglit my thoughts are with you alw ays Sleep Ing, 1 dream of you; waking In the morning and seeing your bathrobe hanging on the bed post, I wish If were yon. T he U n expected Answ er Fed-up Motorist (tinkering with old ear)— First cur you ever auw, I sop pose! Rurallst— Noa, xur, but It’a very much lolke It. Arlyne Brown, thirteen, who won championship honors nt the nntlonal revolver matches at Toledo and Camp Perry, being crowned Prince«* Ma-Ca- Che# or "Kugle Eye," by Chief Sweet Gras* of the South Dakota Sioux tribe In 8L Louis recently. M odernism “ Alaat" sighed the disappointed suitor, “ the girl o f my dreams has married another and all hope of win nlng her la gone " “ Cheer up," ad deed his best friend “ she’ll probably be hack In clrrula tlon again by this time next year.* Design for Chicago W ar Memorial A n A pt Pnpil Old Mr. Few tol—Don't you think In time you might learn to love ineT Young Mlsa Ooldllox— Well. If I had n nice young tutor I might learn th* theory o f It. D iscreet Restraint A world’s record was establlsned In the pocket Millard tourney held at De troit when Ralph Oreenleaf scored 12b points In the second Inning o f th* game against Frank TaherskL Here Is the prise winning design for the war memorial which Chicago will erect on an artificial Island off the Inke front. It la the work of Roger Ilalley and Eric Gugler, architects o f New York. . , Early Tow a Cluck The Brat tower clock In the United Slates, which was for the general ben efit o f the townspeople, was the one. according to N. Hudson Moore, In the church nt Ipswich, Mnas. The new meeting house w h s built In Him and In 1704 the clock and dial were added “Did you ever think of telling your wife to quit driving (mm the hack •eat 7" “ Nevér," answered Mr. Chugglna. "On auch ocvuslona there'* plenty ol material for argument, without adding com plications"—Washington Star. U n d e s ir a b le s Ilobo (on hoard train)—Has any body lost a roll o f hills? “Yea, I have," cried several voice* Hobo—Take them I They ure from the butcher. only under a physician's order. In any event, keep the vlhrntora tn their proper place by not overindulg ing In their use. Trent them with re spect and they will respect you. Vi brate sensibly. <(& l i l t . W<wtera Newspaper Onion.) Great Eatates Linked W ith Scottish History One o f the oldest and most historic estates In Scotland, Is Gadglrth, tn Ayrshire, six miles from Ayr. For centuries It was the home o f the Chalmers, grest chamberlains of Scot land, from whom Doctor Chalmer*, the fatnius divine, is said to have claimed descent From an account written by the sheriff of Ayr In 1359, “ the farthing lands o f Gadgtrth formed part of the royal domains'’ or “ King's Kyle,’’ and were held by the Chalmer* family from possibly the Twelfth century. According to the authority of Robertson the historian, Reginald L>* Camera had a charter o f the lands after the battle o f Ban nockburn from Robert the Bruce, al though thla does not, however, appear among the published chart» rs o f that monarch's reign. The first castle was a place of great strength and Jutted out Into the River Ayr, while In the second, which occupied the same site as the present manslot. house. John Knox dispensed the sacrament, and Queen Mary o f Scots spent a night there when fleeing after the battle o f Ijingslde. The estate extends to close on 400 acres, and Includes thn farms. Apoatlea' Creed? This Is the name ot a church créé», supposed to be ao epitome of the Scriptural doctrine taught by the apoe lies. It waa Introduced In the Latin church In the Eleventh century, but a somewhat similar formula date* hack lo the Second cen'ory.— Pathfinder Magasin*. W h at’ e N satT "i.lsten. doc," sald thè tieni. “ I've hsd my reeth Inni my tonali» out. so you one guess."—l>stroll skeptlcal pa out and l’ve thnt leavet New«. IVecd less P a in ? Som e folk s taka pain fo r granted. T h ey let s cold “ run its course.” T h ey w ait for their headaches to "w ea r o ff.” I f suffering from neuralgia or from neuritis, th ey rely on feeling better in the m orning. M eantim e, they suffer unnecessary pain. Unnecessary, because there is an antidot«. B ayer Aspirin always offers im m ediate relief from various aches and pains w e on ce had to and ure. If pain persists, consult your doctor as to its causa. Save yourself a lo t o f pain and discom fort through the m any uses o f B ayer Aspirin. Pro tect yourself b y buying th e genuine. B aysr is • o ff- Alw ays th e sam e. A ll drugstores. B A Y E R A S P I R I IV «Aspiri* b tha inda mark ot Barar Meaeteetaia of.Moaa et Salieri