TUR TIIIM NR. TURNKR. OHEGUN Shows March of Progress in Transportation C ir i a t the T o p in H ealth Teat Millions of boya and girls all over th* world, thoueauda o f them right her* In Hm West are being restored to heullh nnd strength by th* purely vegetable ton­ ic and laxative know* as California Fig Syrup and endorsed by physicians for over BO years. Children need no urging to take It. They love its rich, fruity flavor. Nothing ran compete with It aa a gen­ tle, but certain laxative, nnd It goes further than this. It give* tone and strength to the stomach and bowel* ao these organ* continue to act nor­ mally, o f their own accord. It atlmu- tales th# appetite, helps digestion. A Kansas mother, Mrs. liana All- glre, 010 Monro* Bt., Topeka, aayat “ Ilotmle It. la absolutely Hie picture of health, now, with her ruddy cheeks, bright eye* and plump Iml graceful tittle body and ah* stand* at th* top In »very health test. * Much o f the credit for her perfect condition Is due to California Fig Hyrup. W# have uaed It alnce baby­ hood to keep her bowels active dur­ ing cold* or any children's ailment* and she has alwaya had an easy time with them. Rh* always respond* to Its geutle urging and la quickly back to normal.“ Ask your druggist for California Fig Syrup and look for th* word “ California” on the carton *o you'll always get th* genuine. s j j I 1 SOME KAN SAS W IND i A lourlat traveling through western Kansus, saw a man silling hy th* rulu* of ■ house lliul had Iteeu blown ■ way and slopped lo ask; “ Was ltd* your bouse my friendT” “ Y*p.“ “ Any of your family blown away with Ih* house?" “ Yep, wife and four kids.“ “ tlreat Hcolt, man, why aren’t you bunting for theuii" “ Been In this country quit* a tpell, stranger Wind's duo to change this afternoon. Flgur* I mlgtit w«U wall bar* till It brings 'em hack." Saperflci«! Flesh Wounds H* Wasted la Help A young farin«i wanted to *rll hi* farm and *>■ «bowing It lo ■ priwpec- tlve buyer Aa they went over th* house tbr farmers little s < > 0 trailed along al their heel* from room to room. II*. too, wanted to show th* plac* off to th* pnaqieet and In th* hath- room he Interrupted hi* father'* eulogy on the plumbing to pl|>e: “ took, mister I He* theui ulc* big bole*! '1 hut's rat*,“ Try Hanford’s M ADE BUT ONE KNOT T h * next time a haadach* make* you stay at ham*— Or m m Remember Bayer AapirinI The early Indlan^'thvr'Tnctwnt automobile, a “ prehlatorfc" bicycle, and the modern airplane formed thl* dlver- ilflcd group at an exposition of th* progress of American transportation held In to * Angeles. Guardians of the Golden Gate at Practice Obliging Photographer I.ady— Now, ha sure to give me a ♦ery small mouth In the picture. Photographer— Yea. madam. We con retouch It sway entirely—If you with. It la a difficult tnak to futhom a •hallow mind. reiiev«, and relieve promptly. million* would not continue to take them. They are quite harmleea. or th* medical profeonon would not constantly prescribe them. D o n ’t be a martyr to unnecessary pain. ao For your own protection, buy th* easily be checked; to neuritis, neu­ To eolde that might genuine. Bayer is an/«. I t ’s alwaya ralgia; to thorn pains peculiar to the same. women; or any suffering for which heart, ao use it a* often a* needed; Bayer Aspirin is such an effective but the caua* of any pain can b * antidote. treated only b y a doctor. siue at M a Realized Eve W as Not “ Dressed for Company” Ha—Thai sailor sweet heart of yours m • alow ona— ha hasn't any speed at HI. Sha— Well, If ha makes only ona knot It will satisfy me. Bring Both Last night aa I lay on my pillow. L u i niant as 1 lay on my bed. 1 pul my font out ot th* window, Aod now all my neighbors aro dead' Machine gun battery of the Sixty-third Coaat artillery from the Presidio a. San Francisco «hooting at * moving target one-half mile away and In range for 13 seconds. The*e Browning guns throw 095 rounds of 30-30 ammunition per minute. Accuracy I* deadly. CONDEMNED TO DEATH Here’s the Chance to Buy a Cruiser At thn Market "Some nice aptuach, mum?" “ No. what I want la Consolidated Bat-Trap." "But this la the vegetable market.* “ Well, a friend of mine told me to buy Consolidated Rat-Trap at the market." Arthur Train, president of the Au­ thors’ league, was talking about a banned book. “ I guess It ought to have been banned,’’ be said. “ All the same the men who go In for this banning busi­ ness don’t strike me a* moralists They strike me as prudes. “ They remind me of Stlgglna, the bead o f an anti-vice society. * 1 had a curious dream last night, Stlgglna said at breakfast In the boarding bouse. “The boarders looked at him with Interrogative smiles. “ ‘Yes,’ he went on, 1 dreamed thnt t was In the Garden o f Eden.’ “ ‘Oh, bow cut*!’ said an old-maid school teacher. ‘And was Ev* Ilk* all the picture* of her? " ‘I—er—’ stammered Stlgglna. very red and wriggly—’I —o f course— I ildn’t look.’ " —Detroit Free Pi YOU HAVE A DOCTOR’S WORD FOR THIS LAXATIVE For Proof’ s Soho He— Darling, don't tell anybody we are engaged Just yet. She—Only l.lly. She always said I should never And a fool to marry ma OF COURSE Sarah Powers of Macon, Ga., sev­ enty-one years old. Is the oldest wom­ an In the history o f the state to be condemned to death. She was con­ victed of plotting the murder of James Parks to collect Insurance on his llf*. SNAKE CHARMER Th* Headboard—Did you ever see g matt resa Jump? The Footboard—No. but I’v* seen • bed spring I MokeslJfe Sweeter O ratorical Shout The D. S. cruiser Cleveland at the Charleston navy yard where It la being dismantled preparatory to being sold to anyon* that wants such a veasel. It wua commissioned In 1903. Harnessing the Father of Waters H ie v o ic e In crease# to a ro a r O u r s e n s * * to I m p r t is ; While he Is talhln* more aod more. Hie reasoning grows 1res. The Complete Library Blink«— Ile ima a steal collection of Too much to eat— too rich a diet­ er too much smoking, tots o f things rare old books. Jink*—And hi* son ■ great collec­ causa aour stomach, but ona thing ran correct it quickly. I’hllllp* Milk of tion of raw. new one*. Maguesla will alkallutse the arid. Conspiracy Taka a spoonful of thl* pleasant “ Excuse me, Mr*. Smith," said th* preparation, and tha system la a--on rashler, "but till* check of your hu* sweetened. Phillips la always ready to relieve band’s sppenra lo have beeu altered, distress from overeating; to check nil and a aero added after the five." “Oh. you're going to aide with him acidity; or neutralise nicotine. Re­ member thl* for your own comfort; again, are you? It'a disgusting the for th# anke of those around you. way you tnen slick together." Endorsed by physicians, bat they al­ Belligerent ways any Phillip». Don’t buy tome “The teddy csnie to Hie door with a thing else nnd expect the same r* broom.” suits! “ What did she mean by Hint, heh?" asked Hi# other street iieddler. “ Sales resist«rice, I s'pose." PHILLIPS * Milk , o f M agnesia A * Entra The Assistant—Doctor, I believe we •eweil up a pair of forceps Inside of Mr. LongsulTer. Th# Burgeon —Ye*; I've been look­ ing for them, t’harge them up on hit bill. H* can't afford to pay for an­ other operation Within th* Law Owner— Hey, there, don't yon see the slgnt tt says; "No tlehlng on tbte ground." Fisherman—Sure. I see I t 1 ain't fishing on the ground. Quick Results Editor—Do you find that advert!* Ing brings quirk results? Advertiser—I should say It due* I The other day we advertised for * nlghl watchman and that night the •ufe wna rnhhed W .- j : '.miama— — m ii ................ — -m W. N. U., PORTLAND, NO. 44-1920, It never depreaae* th* B A Y E R A S P IR IN Carioai Old Ballets In Rwt-den e book la plucrd bcneath lhe hcad ut a ni-wly liorii clilld su (liai h* ton y bs qulrk al rendlng. Tlioy aay. ton. lliol so long as a rblld la unchrlatrord. Ih* Br* muai never b» eallngulabrd lest eall splrlis corne, and no on* mua! |>nss betwren th* Br* and th* chlld whllst II la hrlng fcd by lhe molher. Millions now use Ilusa Dali Blue. Makes clothes anowy white. Get the genuine.—A dr. For there I* acaiceiy any pain it cannot Them tablet* give real relief, or Balsam of Myrrh Hopels»* “They're ao old fashioned.“ mid one of th* neighbor women the other day, "that actually, my dear, they frequent­ ly atay at home on Sunday*."— Fort Wayne Newt-Sentinel. other ach* or pain pre- Tan t* your keeping an engagement— All é M lt fl art •ytfcoHi.d lo r«l*«d fM f M M T l « f IS« first tatti« If R«t im I M . Ju»i tks Ms* “ Need any more talent for your motion picture drama i l " “ W# might us* you. Ilad any es­ perirne* *1 acting without audl- •a cm i" "Acting without audience* I* what brought ma here."—Stray Storte*. N eedless Too Bad Jnmea— So you were In the army. tkeyT Ikey (proudlyI—Ye*. I vns In the army. James- Did vou gel a commission’ lk*-y—No, only vugca. £ Maj. John U. Ootwala, under who*i supervision the stabilisation of the Mississippi front th* mouth of th* Missouri to Cairo, til., was mad* possible, will continue the enormous task hy further harnessing of the river down to New Orleans. The project, which up to the present haa necessitated th* •xpendltur* of $10.000,000 by th* United State*, will continue hy converting a winding river Into a controllable channel. The photograph shows Major Ootwala at Ma desk at th* custom hous* In St. Louis. FROM H ERE AND TH ER E A hawk la capable of flylng 150 miles an hour. lied brick owca Us color to Iron oxide In th* rlay; htiff brick I* the rcsult of Iron «ulphide. Macaroni niul spaghetti, orlgtnall) Eure pesa foo-l*. ar* now helng ex porte»! o» A.T«rlcan factorles. Net « llght signa nre now popular In China lo ad'erilse restaurant*, business Louves and newspapers. Goldsmith received $300 for the “ Vicar of Wakefield." Each adult Inhale* a gallon of sir per minute, and consume* dally 30 •uncea of oxygen. The nlrport at Oakland. Calif., coat more than fitMMIUU, and Is the lurgesi municipal airport In the West. When tolmcro was Introduced Into China, In the Seventeenth century. Its use was prohibited by Imperial edict Tn 1875, an earnest young man began to practice medicine. A s a family doctor, he saw the harm in harsh purgatives for constipation and began to search for something harmless to the sensitive bowels. Out o f his experience was born a famous prescription. He wrote it thousands of times. It proved an ideal laxative for old and young. A s people saw how marvelously th* most sluggish bowels are started and bad breath, headaches, fever­ ishness, nausea, gas, poor appetite, and such disorders, are relieved by the prescription, it became neces­ sary to pnt it up ready for use. Today, Dr. Caldwell’s Syrup Pep­ sin, as it Is called, is the world’s most popular laxative. It never varies from Dr. Caldwell’s original effective and harmless formula. A ll drugstores have it. Easy to Flad Editor Edmunds of the Mannfae- Miss Doris Carey of Fort Worth. .urer’s Record was discussing Interna- Texas, a coed at Louisiana State uni­ lonal relations. versity, who Is winning reuown as a “ Things are looking bad," he said. snake charmer. She la shown with “There’s suspicion, there’s anger, one of her “ pets.“ there's defiance. Th* epeeche* of lead­ ing statesmen everywhere seem to •how that they ere looking for Butterfly 3,000 Feet Up For the entomologist Mount Wash- ¡rouble." Editor Edmunds ahooks his head. ton has long been a favorite collecting “ And looking for trouble," be con ground, saya Nature Magazine. Paw­ ing through th* rich Canadian fauna riuded, “ Is like looking for Pike's peak at th* base, wher* th* natural condl- ■n Teller county, Colorado— you can’t tlona have been practically undis­ miss It.” turbed. we enter near th* timber lln* Those Party Lines th* aub-AlpIn* where tn August ar* The old cat belonging to a woman found th* mountain tritlllary and the wingless grasshopper, two of the In a Colorado village died. Her tele­ more striking specie* of this son*. At phone Is on a 12-party line, and she an elevation of abort five thousand told her mother over th* phone that feet we reach the home of the White she would hnv# to get another rat. Thut evening two cate were left In Mountain butterfly. her yard. The next day a sack con­ taining a mother cat and live kittens Copper Beet Coeductor was left at the gate; And within a Copper I* the best and cheapest day or two, three half-grown kittens conductor of electricity of th* com wandered In. evidently having been moo metals. left close by. Don’t Boast Never Toe L e t« The man who boasts of the wonders Some of the best work ever pro­ ne Is going to work never amounts U> duced on earth, even In the realm of much aa a worker art. has come from the redemption of failures.—American Maguxlne. Volcan* Burned Out Whatever you give for the com Fujiyama, the famous volcano of Japan, has been extinct since the erup­ fort and welfare o f old folk* Is well gl\ea. tion of 1TU7 ITOSI Work of Patient Artist In a shop at Nantucket, saya tha Boston Globe, some New Bedford (M aw.) girls noticed what looked Ilka a cherry stone set on a base Ilka that of a collar button. They Inquired what It was and were told tt waa a spoon bolder, and when they looked incredulous, the proprietor of tha shop removed the cherry stone from its base and shook out of It two doa- en silver spoons. Each spoon bad an unmlstakabla bowl, yet one which would hold no more than a micro­ scopic drop of tea. Th# novelty waa the work o f a Nantucketer wboaa keenness of vision and skill tn hand­ icraft excited admiration and wonder. A woman has no right to grow old until after she has been married at least once. For Best Results In Home Dyeing Y o u can alw ay s g iv e richer, deep­ er, m ore brillian t colors to faded o r out-of-style dress­ es, h o s e , coats, draperies, etc., w ith Diam ond Dyes. A n d the colors sta y in through w e a r and w ashing! H e re ’s the reason. Diam ond D yes contain the highest quality anilines money can buy. A nd it ’s the anilines that count! They are the v ery life o f dyes. Plenty o f pu re anilines male* Diam ond D yes ea sy to use. T h ey go on evenly w ithout spotting or streaking. T r y them next tim e and see w h y authorities recom­ mend them ; w h y m illions o f wom en w ill use no oth er dyes. Y o u get Diam ond Dyes fo r th * sam e price as ordin ary dyes; 15c, a t a n y d ru g store. K ill Rats W ithout Poison M M ew E x t e r m in a t o r t h a t W s e ’ t K i ll L iv e s to c k , P o u l t r y , KILLS M«MI Ll AN TURA WOOL CO UIN NPAPOLIS MINN Price List and Shipping Tsgsl V A, A.LI R.P.D. HALE’S HONEY I OF H O IH H O JW P AMO TheJH H