THF'. TRIBUNE, Tl'RNF.R. OREGON
Eleanor Boardman
**************************
An Adventure o f the Scarlet
Pimpernel
By th « BARONESS ORCZY
Copyright
WNV * * « » « •
ypyÇ ~z.
TS/"?
YOUNG HEIFER’S VISIT
I
T W A S tat* In the summer and the
young heifer bad wandered off for
adventure*.
The young heifer thought ahe was
quit* big enough for th a t She was no
longer a baby calf. She was almost
a full-grown row.
Ah yea, she was big now and she
was strong and she was wise and she
knew how to take rare o f herself.
And adventures would be such fun I
T o wander and then to wander
aome more would be very, very de­
lightful. It was a good old world, so
full o f Interests, so much to see, so
much to discover.
Now the young heifer belonged to a
fanner who owned a good many ani­
m al* He was very fond o f all o f his
animals. He had rows and he had
sheep and he had pigs and be had
hens and roosters. Oh. there were
4
-y*-
Th# Haifer Wandered and Wandered
and Felt Very Tired.
plenty o f animals on the farm, and
there were horses, too, and dogs and
c a t* It was. In short, s splendid
farm.
It was far, far away from where
people lived though, and even the
farm s which were nearest to his
farm were not near any large place.
No, In this section there were not
many towns and those towns which
there were hsd In them but few peo­
ple. It wss very, very far north.
It was becoming chilly. But the
heifer wandered and wandered and
before long ahe fe lt very tired and
very lonely. Ab y e * adventures were
all very well but when It became
chilly and night came along it was
nice to have a nice lot o f friends
and relatives and members o f the
fam ily about. And the heifer began
to feel quite sad. In the distance ahe
heard sounds— sounds which were
fam iliar to her, talk which ahe un­
derstood.
And she thought that she would go
In the direction o f those sounds and
listen. This silence about her wss
beginning to make her quite nervous
So sbe went In the direction o f the
sound* even though she was tired,
and even though she hated to walk
any more, lint It would he worth the
extra walk and the extra fin 'd feel­
ing If sbe could be where there would
be companion*
On and on she trudged, poor, weary
young heifer that she was. And at
lust ahe came to another farm. There
were none o f her own fam ily about,
but their were animals o f her own
kind and friends she could feel at
borne with, and It was happiness to
be there. Everyone welcomed her. a
little ahyly at drat, but she was w el­
comed.
It was a Joy to the heifer to be
welcomed.
There was a new farm er here, one
she bad never seen before, but he,
too, was nice to her. He seemed sur­
prised at first to see her, but he
treated her as one o f the fam ily In
no time at alL
Day after day she stayed upon this
farm, and the days went Into weeks
as days have a habit o f doing o f
which they’ve never broken tbero-
s e lv e *
And the weeks went Into
m onth* Yes, tw o months had gone
by since the heifer had gone off for
adventure* But she had not forgot­
ten what her own fam ily looked Ilk *
Nor had she forgotten what the
farmer looked like. N or had she fo r­
gotten what the farm er's w ife and
the farmer's son ahd the farm er's
daughter looked like. And one day
they all appeared upon the new farm.
■yes.’’ said her new master, “ I
couldn't understand It for a long time.
And then I knew- she must have wan­
dered off from some other farm. She
must have come a roundabout way
fo r there y s
nearer farms than
y ou r*
“ I thought at first she had come
from one o f those nearer farms and
went to find ou t But she hadn't and
then 1 couldn't imagine where she had
strayed from ."
" I t was good o f you to take her In
and give her a home and now be w ill­
ing to give her back to m e." the h eif­
e r s real master said.
“ W ell, sbe made herself so at home
that we began to feel she belonged to
us."
T o e heifer went back, though, to
her old b om * It was good to be back
and yet she had been treated well
while she had been away. But. oh. It
was fun to feel such an unusual heifer
—to have been away on a two months’
visit. N o other heifer could say as
much. She didn't care to go again,
but ahe was glad she bad had such
an unusual experience.
( Copyright.)
••••••••••••••••••••••••••
AW
B y V i o l a B r o th e r s S h o r e
W ky W e Do
W hat W e D o
by M. I . TH O M SO N. Ph. D.
eeaeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
FOR TH E GOOSE—
V ERY time you feel Jealousy
you’ re weakening your own posi­
tion. And every time you show It.
you're strengthenin' somebody e ls e *
E
WHY WE HAVE CONCEPTS
T I T HEN I use the word “ book" you
’ r know what I mean. Yet, It does
not have quite the same meaning to
alL T o the small child a book means
Maybe the reason women are so
something with leaves in It that makes
crazy to marry the men that deceive
an agreeable noise when he pulls and
them is outa revenge.
te a r* Later he learns that a book
baa colored pictures o f all kiuda o f
The way to be happiest In mar­
funny looking anim al* By and by It
riage ain’t always to do what’ll make
dawns on him that aome books have
you the most happy; or him the most
queer characters under each animal
happy; but what'll make the both o f
that tell what to call the outlandiah
you the least unhappy.
c re a tc r* It Is a moo-moo. a ba ba,
or a bow-wow.
The reason women stand for so
When a child Is ready for school
mocb from bad men and Impose on
be learns that books are to be read
good ones is because it’s much easier
and studied. There are large booka
for a woman to be generous than just.
and small book* thick books with no
picture* Perhaps some day be works
FOR TH E GANDER—
In a book store or a library. That Is
Every place where you got a latch­ still another approach. His experi­
key ain't borne. Bnt no place la home ence with books Increases his Inter­
where you ain't got a latchkey.
est In them. It may be that he writes
a book himself. This gives him a pe­
It’s better to be the best member o f culiar relation to the name book,
s poor fam ily than the worst mem­ which Is not unlike the father and
ber o f a good one.
son relationship. Perhaps he owns a
private library and goes In for collect­
But It’s better to be the dumbest In ing rare and valuable book* By this
a smart fam ily than the smartest In time be has become a connoisseur in
a dumb o n * because then, at least books, a book lover.
you ain’t bored to death. *
- -
This Is merely an Illustration o f bow
(Copyright.)
our concept grows with experience.
-----------O-----------
The same principle bolds regarding all
the objects to which we give names.
Hence the difference In our taste and
comprehension. W e do not like the
same things because our experiences
are different. W e dislike certain ob­
jects for the same reason.
W e have concepts In order to think
and talk Intelligently. A concept la
made up o f memory Imagea o f things
we once experienced through one or
more sense organ * The meaning o f
any concept Is determined by the rich­
ness o f our experience regarding that
particular situation or thing.
<S by U c c iur. Newspaper Syndicate.)
REVENGE IS SWEET
Tho Scorie« Flmp«rn*l. known
«turiti* tho French revolution no
tho moot Intrepid ndvonturor in
Kuropo, la on tCttcItoltmon. At *
house party *lv#n by Sir Po re y
Jlokonoy tho Utoot ndt enturo of
tho Scarlot Ft m por noi. tho roocuo
o f tho Tournon d* Afonaya, la bo«
Ino
related by Sir Andrew
Kfoulkea.
CHAPTER I— Continued
"And that was when the gallant
Hoarier I’ lmperiicl Interposed?** Lady
Alicia put In with a sigh. “ He kuew
M. le Tournon il'Agvnay and hts fain
liy were being taken to I’a r l* "
“ I believe he had had un Inkling of
what was in the wind sonio time be­
fore the arrest. It la wonderful bow
closely he Is alwaya In touch with
those who one day nmy need hla help,
“ She Goes to W a r"— moaning E l­ But I believe that at the last moment
eanor
Boardman
doo*—has
boon plans had to be formulated In a hurry.
Fortunately, chance on this occasion
brought to tho film * Miss Boardman
w ill bo romomborod at tho atar of chose to furor those plan * Day had
“ Tha Crowd," which hor husband. broken without a gleam o f sunshine;
King Vidor, directed.
The picture a thin drtssle was fulling, and there
shows Miss Boardman at ah# appears was a sharp bead wind on, which
fretted the horses and forced the
in the war fe a tu r*
driver to keep Ida head down, with
----------- O-----------
hla broad-brimmed hat pullet) well over
O ^Q O O O O O O O O O O O O O CO O O O PO gQ O
his e y e *
Nature, as you see. was
helping all she could.
One can
Imagine the surprise attack.
Vague
forma looming suddenly out o f the
oooooo
mist and the sharp report o f a pistol,
twice In quick succession. The horse*
By LEONARD A. BARRETT
sweating and panting, fell Into a foot­
oooooooooooooooooooooooooo
pace, dragging the heavy coacn up the
Y
COMMON
consent
camping steep Incline, through the squelching
ranks first among the sports es­ mud o f the road, and came to a vio­
lent and sudden halt on the crest ot
pecially to lovers o f the out-of-door*
At the
On si moat every road one travels he the hill at the first rep o rt
they reared
and plunged
can see. secluded among trees In the second
w o od * groups o f white or brown-col­ mildly.
“ T h e whole thing w a * I am assured,
ored ten t* An organization o f Boy
Scoots has come from a week-end a matter o f a couple o f m inute* It
hike; or. a number o f friends have was surprise and swiftness that won
tbe upper band, for the rescue party
chosen this method o f recreation, thus
finding relaxation from the heat and was outnumbered three to one. Had
strain o f a w eek '» work In the crowd­ there been the slightest hesitation, the
slightest slackening o f quick action,
ed city. Perhaps the tents may Indi­
the attack would o f a certainty have
cate to an interested spectator that a
failed. But during those few minutes
group o f business men. Intent on a
o f confusion, and under cover o f tbe
b rief vacation, have selected a time
mist and the vague grayueas o f the
fo r their favorite »p o rt—fishing In the
morning the Scarlet I’ impernel and hla
crystal clearness o f cooling w a ter*
fo llo w e r* down on their knees In the
Or. the tenta may be the property o f
squelching mud were not merely fight­
a number o f campers who, having
ing. yon understand? N ot They were
said farew ell to the congested centers
chiefly engaged In cutting the saddle
o f population, have chosen this meth­
girths under the bellies o f eight fidgety
od o f spending the summer months
and plunging borse* and cracking
In preference to seaside resorts or
their pistols In order to keep up tbe
foreign travel.
confusion. Not an easy task, yon wilt
During the last few years summer
admit, though Yla a form o f attack
camping has received serious consid­
well known in tbe East, ao I under
eration from benevolent minded per­
stand.
sons who have made It possible for
"A t a^y r a t* those had been the
many o f the dependent classe* espe­
c h ie fs o rd er* and they bad to be
cially children, to receive the bene­ carried out. For my part, I Imagine
fits o f a few weeks spent In the out
that superstitions terror had npset the
o f doors. Summer camping has be­
nerves o f that small squad o f revolu­
come thoroughly organized to such an tionary guard.
Hemmed In by the
extent that now hundreds o f children thicket on either side o f the road, the
In almost every city receive not only men had not sufficient elbow room fur
the physical benefit o f a few weeks a good light. No man likes being at­
o f camp life, but at the same time tacked by a foe whom be cannot well
are taught many o f the arts like na­ see, and In the melee that ensued the
ture study, basket weaving, dramat­ men were hindered from using their
ic * etc.
somewhat clumsy sabers too freely for
Camp Institute* however, require fear o f Injuring their comrades’
not only financial support but also tnonnts. If not tbelr o w n ; and all they
trained leadership and Inatrnctlon. could do was to strive to calm their
W hile the form er may be furnished horses and through the din. to hear
by liberally mlDded citizens, the lat­ the words o f command uttered by their
ter are provided through the serv­ lieutenant
ices o f many o f the most gifted and
“ And all the while." Sir Andrew
talented young people from our col­ went on. amidst breathless silence on
leges and un iversltle* These splen­ the part o f hia hearer», “ I pray you
did youDg people give about two picture to yourselves the coofu slon;
months o f their summer vacations to tbe cracking o f p is to l* the horses
this work, receiving as their chief re­ snorting, the lleutensnt shouting, the
ward the rare privilege o f having had prisoners screaming. Then, at a given
a share In the work o f making pos­ moment, the Scarlet Pimpernel scram­
sible a few weeks o f real pleasure to bled up the box seat o f tbe chala*
underprivileged children as well as As no doubt all o f you ladles know by
the opportunity o f Instilling Into their now. he has the most wonderfnl hand
minds thoughts which may effect their with horse*
In one tnatsnt be hsd
future character and life.
Summer snstched the reins out o f the bew il­
camping la making a definite contribu­ dered Jehu's hand* and, with word
tion to a better citizenship and o f moutb and click o f tongue, had
should receive most hearty support. soothed the poor beasts' nerve* And
(®. m t. WHtirn Newspaper Colon. 1
sudden he gave the order, *Ca v a !'
whlffft w a» the signal agreed on be­
----------- o -----------
tween himself and his fo llo w e r* For
then It meant a scramble for cover
under tbe veil o f mist and rain, whilst
he. the gallant chief, whipped op the
team, which plunged down the road
now at breakneck speed.
GABBY GERTIE
“ O f course, the guard, and, above
all, the lieutenant, grasped the sltna
tlon soon enough, and Immediately
gave chase. Bnt they were not trick
riders, any of them, and with severed
saddle girths could not go far.
Be
that as It may. the 8earlet Pimpernel
drove hla team without a halt as far
as Molay. where he had arranged for
relays. Once well away from the Im
mediate Influence o f P a r i* with all Ita
terrors and tyrannical m easure* the
menns o f escape for the prisoners be­
came comparatively easy, thanks prl
marlly to the Indomitable pluck of
their rescuer and also to a long ptirae.
W olly Caterpillar (lo chilly Bug)
You'.-e the fellow who laughed at me
----------- O-----------
Gen» Wrong
“ Jones!"
said
the
schoolmaster
sternly. “ You have again been caught
In the act o f flagrant disobedience. 1
Your example to othera la moat In
Jurion* In short, sir. you are goto-
to the devil.
C o m
With m e'
Yorkshire Post.
the other day because I wore a fur
coot I
He W a* Only Sparring
Judge— A fepr minutes ago you
swore that you were only sparring
with the plaintiff and that was what
Injured him.
Now we have proved
that you struck him over the head
with a blunt Instrument
Why did
you lie?
Prisoner— I wag telling the exact
truth, your honor; It was a piece of
spar I hit him with.
t*rvi|
STORV FROM THE START
For Meditation
B
“ The story Is exactly as I had It from
Madam la Com tee»* de Tournon d'Ago-
uny, whose only sorrow, now that ahe
and those she levee are sufe al last
In England, I* that she never one*
caught a gllmiwe o f her rescuer. I I*
proved ea elusive to her ea lo all o f
u * and we ttud ourselves repeating
the delightful doggerel Invented on
that evasive personage by our prince
o f dandle* Sir Percy Itlakeney."
“ M arvelousI" "E nch antin g!“ " P a l­
pitatin g!“ “ I nearly fainted with ex-
clteniout. my d e a rl" These were some
o f the ejaculations uttered tty via Inly,
well rouged ll|>* while tile men. more
or lea* were silent, pondering, vague­
ly longing lo shake the enlgmutlcal
hero once, at least, by tha hand.
Ills highness was questioning Sir
Andrew Ffoulkea more cl.wely about
certain details connected with the
story. It was softly whispered, and
not for the first time, either, that hla
highness could. If be would, solve the
riddle o f the Identity o f that mysteri­
ous Scarlet Pimpernel.
And tli* whisperer* were correct,
elnce hts highness was ona of the few
who knew that Sir Percy Blakeney
wa* the Scarlet Pimpernel, who, with
hla little hand o f romantic adventur­
e r*—o f whom Sir Audrew Ffoulkea
was oue— was devoting himself lo sav­
ing from undeserved death victims of
tbe Itelgn o f Terror In Franc*.
Dainty, sweet, and generou* aa
usual, l ady Floulkea bad edged up
to Lady Blakeney, and the two young
wive* o f such gallant men held 0110
another for one Inatnut closely by tbe
hand, a token o f mutual understand­
ing, o f pride end o f happiness.
Then Imdy Ffoulkea looked In dainty
puxxlement about her. “ Sir Percy 1“
the exclaimed. “ Where la Sir Percy?“
And th* call wus Ilk* the chirrup­
ing o f bird* on a sunuy spring morn­
ing. It stilled all further ebatterlug
for the moment.
“ Where Is Sir P ercy?" And silence
alone echoed. “ Where?”
Until a real material sound came In
response.
A long drawn out sound
that caused the ladles to snigger and
the men to laugh. It was tbe sound o f
a loud and prolonged snore.
The
groups o f guy society butterflie* men
and women, ¡varied, disclosing (he al­
cove at the further end o f the room,
w h er* on the sofa, with handsome
head reeling against roee-colored cush­
io n * Sir Percy Blakeney was fast
asleep.
CHAPTER II
Citoyen Laumet
But In Paris tbe news o f tbe evasion
of tbe ci-devant Comte et Comieaee de
Tournon d'Agenay with tbelr *on and
two daughter* was received In ■ d if­
ferent spirit.
Member* o f th* com­
mittee* o f public safety and ot gen­
eral security, both official and unoffi­
cial. professional and amateur, were
more Irate tban they cared to admit.
Citoyen Laurel, chief o f section In
tbe rural division o f tbe department
Seine et O U e was most particularly
worried by tbe Incident, which. It must
be remembered, occurred to hi* dis­
tr ic t The hand o f the well known Kog-
llab spy, known throughout France aa
(he l-eague o f the Scarlet Pimpernel,
could obviously be traced In the during
and Impndcnt attack on an armed es­
cort. and tbe subsequent driving o f the
chaise through three hundred kilo­
meters o f country where only shame­
less bribery and unparalleled audacity
could have saved them from being
traced, followed, and brought to Jus-
tic *
Citoyen Lanzct, a faithful acnxnt
o f the s ta t* felt that the situation waa
altogether beyond hla capacity for
dealing w ith ; tboae English spies were
ao different to th* ordinary traitors
and aristoa whom one auspected. ar­
rested. and sent to the guillotine all la
the tarn o f a hand. But how was one
to deal with men whom one nad never
seen and waa never likely to fee. U
rumor spoke correctly? Citoyen Lao-
xet scratched hla bald pate and per­
spired freely In hla endeavor to find
a solution to bis difficulty, but be
found n on *
It waa In the midst o f hla perturbs
tlons that be bethought blm o f hla
friend, Armand fhau velln . Now, Lan-
zet waa qolte aware o f the fact that
that same friend o f hla waa under a
cloud Just now ; that be bad tost that
high position he once held on the com­
mittee o f public safety, for reasons
which bad oever been made public.
N everthelea* Lauzet had reasons for
knowing that In the matter o f track­
ing down splea Armand fhau velln had
few. If any. equals; and he alao knew
that for some unexplained canse
fhau velln would give several year* of
hla life, and everything he poaoeaaed
In the world, to get hla long, thin fin
gers round the throat o f that enig­
matical personage known a* tbe Scar
let Pimpernel.
(TO BE CONTINUED.)
Still He Fool* Some People
“ tie long talkin' man." said Unde
Eben, “ la mighty H aile to be relyln
more on tough drop* dan on Ideal.“
I I I ! H I I H I I I H I 1 H -M -t-t <■ I-1-1 1 1 I I M I I I I I I M I I I t I I M I M I
“ Penny” Not Official U . S. Coin Designation
(© by McClure Newrpeper S y n d ic»!«.)
“ A girl who Jumps at conclusions
alwaya startled when th* boy
nd give* a hoop."
Proceeding With Cantion
Angelina— I'm afraid I'm not a very
good cook, but I'll try ever so hard
a fte r we're married.
Edwin— Better
try
now,
before
w e're married. T ry it on your folks
nnd let me know how It comes ou t
Ha* Found W ay
Mrs.
N ayb er—Your lodger
Isn't
very talkative, Is lie?
Mr*. Next door I should say n o t I
have to open all his letters to find out
anything about him.—Pathfinder.
1Ï a Æ&
an
V it
“ Penny" Is not the official designa­
tion of any coin minted by the United
S tate* The application of ’ penny" to
the cen t however, date* back to the
beginning o f our money aystem.
Until after the Itevolotlonary war
the English penny circulated freely In
this country. Although one cent piece*
had been previously coined by several
o f the state», the word “ cent" did not
appear officially In connection with
a federal coin until 1786. tugnst 8 of
that year the Contlntntal congress
¡»nused a law which prescribed “ C en t«:
The highest copper piece, of which
UNI shall tie equnl to tbe dollar."
October 16. 1786. It was ordained
by congress. ’T h a t no foreign copper
coin whatsoever shall after the first
day of September. 1787. tie current
wltliln the United States of America.’'
Tills law removed the English penny
from circulation In this country, but
Ihe name "penny” was iransfirred to
our cent In popular usage and It hue
teancloasl) clung to It ever sin e*
A fter the present Constitution was
adopted the cent wa* retained aa
part o f our monetary aystem
April
2, 17B2. congress passed an “ act ea-
tnhllalilng a mint, and regulating the
colna o f the United S ta te *“ Thla act
preacrlbed “ Cent#— each to be o f the
value o f the one hundredth part o f a
dollar, and to contain eleven penny­
weights o f copper."
Pity tbe Peer Deg
Gramophone
needle*
and other
painful thing* are often found lo
dog*' p a w * according to a notice Is­
sued by the British National Canine
Defenae league. A dog had been lim p
Ing for some weeks without any vial
hie cause. A searching examination
revealed the presence In his paw of a
wild oat completely hidden under the
skin. On removal the oat was found
to hav* germinated In the d o g * pnw,
showing a distinctly healthy green
shoot.
Hum
n
GE1
D O W N O FF A S W A N
McTnvIah want Into a Glasgow an­
tique »Imp to buy a pair o f antlers
that had taken hla fancy.
After
eonal.terahl*
haggling
th*
denier cut the price In half. Ilul Me-
Tavlah »till wasn’t aailafied
“ Hech. mon," he complained, "are
they no' awfu' dear?“
“ O f count* they’re off a deer,"
roared the man man behind th* coun
ter. "l>lil y* think they cam' fra * a
rabbit?"— T it li l t *
Carbeli* Acid Advised
Oswald (w ritin g a letter lo hts
frien d) — IV a r Rob, yon know I love
Louis*, but her father o b je iia lo our
marriage, and If aha ra n t tie m in * I'll
surely have to commit aulrld* What
do you advlae?
Hla friend answered—fa rb o llc arid
old malt
HAD BRIGHT EYES
A . S ou r
Stom ach
In the same time It lakes a dose o f
■odn to bring a llllla tem porary relief
o f gas and sour stnmnih. Phillips
M ilk o f Magnesia has aridity co m p let»
ly cheeked, and th# digestive organa
all tranqullliad. One# you hav# tried
thla funn o f re lie f you w ill ce**a to
w orry about your diet and experloncq
• new freedom In eating.
T h is pleasant preparation Is Just as
good fo r children, too, t'a e It when­
e ver coated tongue or fetid breath
signals need o f a sweetener. Physi­
cians w ill tell you that every apooo-
ful o f Phillip* Milk o f Magiiiwla neu­
tralises many times Ita volume In arid.
Get tha genuine, the name I'hllllpa 1*
Important. Im itation* do not act tha
saino '
P hillips
i . Milk ,
o f Magnesia
r 11 .........
-s g a a a c a
Find Classic Old Jest
to Be Founded on Fact
Accntdlng to historic lora a sardina
once blocked exit slid entry o f the
famous harbor o f M arseille* It Is
one o f tho most hoary o f alorlea
worked on visitors to that famous
city. But now tl aeeme that that
I rlaaalr Joel I* true after all. writes a
London Morning I'oat contributor.
It wna a corvette, I.n Sardine, that
i fought In the French revolutionary
j w a r * Toulon was being besieged by
Miss Dull— Don’t yon think Mr j the French, held as It was by » Itrlt-
Sapp's eyes show tbe kind o f mind i lab fleet and army, and to prevent
i th# latter from effecting a diversion
he has?
Miss Sharpe— N o ; Mr. Sapp'a eye* | at M arseille* La Sardine pul her­
s e lf In tbe mouth o f the harbor and
ara quit* bright.
¡ waa scuttled by tier captain’s ord e r*
! Bo at least saya the learned Abb*
Fame sad Photography
Marius Hocher, who lias unearthed
The Joy of peeelna fa m i Is d o s *
I tbe fact from the dual o f (he past
For th* slualvs prsesnt
Photographers s man w ill shun
and communicated It to the Aredemy.
When he cannot “ Look PIsasaaL*
A Valve Needed
“ Y e * I Ilk* i he mom but the neigh
hors can hear everything we say.“
“ Welt, I shall be pleased to bang a
heavy tapeatry on tha walla.“
“ But then we can't bear what tbe
neighbors aay."
Mosquito Bites
H A N F O R D 'S
Balsam of Myrrh
Mooer I m * I
r*f
Braf M lk > I f M l
M>lle<t
AU ln la H
L ■
- ----- ------- — ~ ‘S
M iU a Scored Victory
D riving oloug a Kansas f l t y (M o.)
Street, tilenu Hake* met a team o f
m ule* The mules were d rlre rle a * ob­
stinate, and lu the middle o f th*
street. It wna ln>|>o*»lbl* to pass
them, and In the ho|ie that the animals
would Instinctively step aside. Make*
stopped hla car. Not ao! The mules
advnnrcd atvudlly and the only alter­
native wna to hack the autom obil*
At this the mules quickened their
pace, and soon there was a peculiar
race In progress. Then Hakes backed
Into the courthouse driveway, Ihe
mule* still following. The maratlum
wna ended only «h e n Hakes' car was
up against the courthouse wall.
I---------
They Play tbe Part W all
The Girl — Wliai Is your opinion of
those glrle who Imitate men?
The Man—They're Idiots I
“ Tbe Imitation Is perfect, eh?”
One May Well A.h
Rrigga— I see people are living a
grenl deal longer than they used to
Griggs— W ell, what else la there to
do?
FAILED AS A MODERN
Mere Experience
It 1 1 nka— 1 1 coat tne l'J.1 lo learn a
ear won't run I f tbe gas tank Is
empty.
Jinks— How did that happen?
Blinks—Tha garage man tor* th*
ear down trying to locate the trouble
before he thought to look at th* tank.
H e—She's ao delightfully old time
end sensible In her dres*
She— Yes. she waa a complete fall
ure In the modern rig.
Mary Had a Little Car
Mary had s H ill* cer
T o (e k e her t t i * to merket.
But eh* hed lo l e e r * It ten block* eat
T o And * p ie r* to perk It.
Eery
lle w k e r— Buy a paper barometer,
madam, only a penny each.
Lady
(a fte r
buying
o n e )— How
does It work?
Hawker— Just put It on the window
■III, and when It’s wet yon’II know Ita
raining.
Nothiaa Left for the Coart
Judge— Have yon anything to offer
the court before sentence I* passed
upon you?
Prisoner— No. yer honor; me lawyer
tqqk me last dollar.
Where They Lacked
Mencken— W ell, what did th# ed­
itor say o f your last contribution of
free verse?
Ulencken— H e wsa very encourag­
ing.
He sold that my poems were
equal to Poe’s except for the absence
o f any rime, rytbm or meaning.
Scbelarebip
your young folka
“ Are
fond ol
school ?’’
"Y ea,"
answered
Mr.
Meekton
w earily— “ dancing school.” — Washing
■on Star.
Canes and Effect
The Rosa— I f you know so many
rich stock tra d er* why don’t you go
to them and do business with them?
The Seedy Applicant— I did that six
months ago and that’s why Pm try
Ing to land thla *20 a week Job.
Ever Feel That's W ay?
"Y ou r engine's missing," remarked
the pnsaonger.
" I know It,” growled the motorist.
"and I wish the whole darn ear waa.
ao | could collect on my theft Inaur
a n r*"
Accidentally an Arkansas lady cured
fit* In a valuable dog with Itnaa Hall
Blue. Many others now use It. N ew
er falle, ahe says.— Adv.
la s e r* Agaiaet Divorce
Insurance ngulnst the risk o f di­
vorce I* a novel Innovation made by
a Parisian company. Ilushanda and
w ive* may take out a Joint policy cov­
ering both against a change o f affec­
tion. the amount paid In the event o f
a decree varying with the amount
o f the premium paid.
N e Ceeds for China
T h e Chinese province o f Hunan has
tested coeducation and decided that
It does not work. An order Issued by
the provincial commissioner requires
alt achoola to ahnndon teaching girls
and boya together.
The Secretary’* View
Rome men are just funny little hoys
playing at the popular game o f go-
getting.— American Magazine.
RECOMMENDS
IT TO OTHERS
t r i a E. Pink ham’s VagMabU
Compound Help* Her So Much
Cleveland. Ohio.— " I aura
tnend Lydia E. Plnkham'a Vegatabta
Compound to any
woman In the con­
dition I waa In. I
waa ao weak and
run-down that I
could hardly stand
u p .' I could not
eat and was full
of misery. A friend
livin g on Arcade
Avenuo told mo
about thla medi­
cine and a fter tak­
ing ten bottle* m y
weakness and nervouanem are al!
R on * I feel ilk « livin g again. I am
still taking It until I feel strong Ilka
before. You may uso this letter as a
testimonial.” — lias. Kt.tzAni.-Tit Tuao,
14013 H alo Avo., Clovaland, Ohio,
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