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IN LIGHTER VEIN .
A good tonic for those back in their
studies is "ketchup." Ex.
Fortunes are mnde by takiug oppor
tunities; character by making them. Ex.
Reputation is what the world gives a
man, character is what he, gives himself.
Ex. V '
Prof.: "What -is an octopus?" Smart
Soph, (after a pause): "An eight-sided
cat'7 Ex. .
The average man wants a square deal
"fair play" but . he also generally
wants to act as umpire. Ex.
Telegram to father: "Am sick; have
no money." Father, in. return: "Am
well; have plenty of money." Ex.
A "ten-penny" nail means that one
thousand nails weight ten pounds. The
word "penny" in this case is a corrup
tion of pound. Ex.
"Do you know that I was born on the
same day. Emerson died?"
"Both events being a cruel misfortune
to literature." Bohemian.-
Detective I never saw your husband,
you know, madam. Has he "any pecul
iar features or marks about him?
Deserted Wife Yes, sir: just above
his right ear I think you will find a mark
shaped like the corner of a flatiron. Ex.
"Willie," said a fond mother earnestly
"you should go to bed early. 'Early to
bed and early to rise makes a man
healthy, wealthy and wise,' you know.
You should go to bed with the sun the
chickens go to bed with the sun,"
"Yes, I know they do, mamma, but
the old hen she always goes with 'eraF'
Ex. ,
Fair Patient--"I suffer greatly from
insomnia, doctor."
Doctor -"You must eat something
just before retiring."
Fair Patient "But you once told me
never to eat anything before going to
bed."
Doctor "Oh, that was a year ago.
Science has made rapid strides since
then. Ex.
He "When will there be but twenty
five letters in the alphabet?"
She "Give it up."
He "When U and I are one." Ex.