2
THE CHEMAWA AMERICAN.
wake hove I sane sich indacency as a
Ainjun School Mess at the table.
The superintindirit a atin iverything
in rache ov him, and shuvin it down
his neck wid his knoif till shure I tort
he'd punch a hole in his socks. And
the government wash-woman, weighin
a hefty hundred and forty pouns, wid
a appitite thot dillikate that she is
afther atin nawthin but a cup ov tae
" and a schmall, little speckled dish ov
crame ov whate. The loikes ov thot,
now, whin the government's a payin
ov her fer washin for nointy-five Ain
jun kids. Whin Dinnie McFadden
wor a courtin ov me I wor washin fer
siven ov the foirst families on the
block and I had a appetoite thot I
could ate a peck ov petaties and a
pail ov buttermilk the sizeov thot and
three pounds ov biled pork ivery day,
thin slape as paceful all noight as yez
own swate, innocent little darter Mary
and I'm as dacent an Oirish lady as
enny governmint wash-woman, will
yez moind thot, Mr. Stamps.
Thot old maid from Missurie is af
flicted wid the noightmare all day if
sha do not be havin toast browned on
all sides ov it ivery day and the old
goirl from Massachuets raises the
divil's own toim if sha don't be havin
poi threetoimes ivery day, includin
Sunday and Lint.
Ah, bedad, I tort I'd die whin the
hindoostral tacher tried to blow the
foam off his coffee and siled the Kin
dergartner's shirtwaiste across the ta
ble, and the doctor spakes from beyant
and says,sayshe: "Mrs. Fadden,bring
the gintlemon a fresh mug and a pret
zel, if he ho v the price ov it hitt."
May the Saints hove mercy on me
soul whin thot Noawajen farmer comes
into supper after fadin the govorninint
hoses! If he'd hitch" himsilf in the
barn and sind a horse in to represint
him at the faste the butter would not
git offensive so quake. I do balave
he'd not be after knowin the diffcrimr
baytwain a bunch ov halliatropes ami
a pound ov limberger chas if the nose
ov him wor as long as the illifants.
They all's a savin money. Tin y
want sivinteen dollars fadin for iviu
dollars and a half and kick up tin
divil's own ruckshuns about the mix
ov the mess bills, and hold indicia
shun matins under cover ov their lock
ed dures, and thin snake out ami
swipe half a doozen mess pois to tat
wit fifteen cints worth ov apples thy
buyed down town.
The oldgoirl from MassaehiiM
wor a kapin tab on and whin only
three pois wor diskivired and the nix:
day, sha presinted a pairper, loikin a!
me ov her, sha says, says sha, Mr.
McFadden ,yez cooked noine pois vi
tiddy and I now foind but three, (::
gers never loie where are thini
I says, says I, jedgin from yez ov,:.
old hat-rack ov a flgger the dn
maker or some wan wor after taki:
liberties -wid the good Lords unvanK -ed
truth. Will yez paste thot on t!.
top ov yez rigger now and hadaii;.:
The superintindint sint fer me a:.:
whin I walked into the arflice j !.
sent loike anny lady, he swelkd r;
loike a toid and sed sich disresptrt :
a governmint empliee wor pregudiv.:.'
to a good dissiplin, and could not 1
tolerated unliss improved. Wan
thim Ainjun School Suyervai
wor a settin thare wid his 1
parted on wan side and then,
ov him parted in the middle, riz