Siletz News II
PaKe 4
TOM M Y
TW O
April 21,1993
MOONS
Dear Mr. Moons:
I heard that the Coyote Tribe got its Gaming Center and House of Mirth proposal deep-sixed by the Feds.
Why don’t you file a suit? I mean, it looks to me like your Tribe got lied to big time. And by the way, if you’d
like for me to represent your Tribe, I might be able to squeeze in another job. As you might already know, I
recently lost a major Indian rights case before the U.S. Supreme Court.
V.I. Figures, Attorney at Law
Tommy Two Moons Responds:
You’re too late. The Coyote Tribe already filed suit. And the Judge has just issued a decision. Here it is:
“This Court finds that the U.S. government did grossly and extremely lie and enter into a number of
egregious deceptions and untruths in its dealings with the Coyote Tribe. Especially active in these
activities were the Department of the Insides and the Bureau of Indian Aggravations.
“These many lies and extreme untruths notwithstanding, this Court also finds that the Coyote Tribe was
not deprived of any wealth. To speak plainly, it appears that the U.S, government, in the best tradition
of its history, lied to the Indians but that it then failed to cheat the Indians. No timber, gold, land, uranium
or related valuables were taken from the Coyote Tribe in this case. In fact, not a dime was stolen from
these Indians.
“Therefore, this Court orders that this case be handed back to the appropriate federal officials to make
sure that the lies and deceptions are not told just for the fun of it but to assure that Indians get cheated.”, ;
The Feds have appealed this ruling. They say that the judge is just being old-fashioned. In the old days, it was
a requirement to both lie to and cheat the Indians at the same time. But today, they say that the official policy
is to lie to Indians sometimes without actually stealing anything in order keep Tribes mixed-up and off balance.
I should also tell you that the Coyote Tribe has already got a lawyer. His expert legal advice is that the
best way to win this case is to voluntarily cheat ourselves out of a lot of money. His idea is for the Tribe to buy
a property for the Gaming Center at an inflated price. With any luck, he says, we will be out less than a half a
million dollars by the time it’s over (this doesn’t include legal fees, of course).
On arelated note, the Coyote Tribal Council has just setup the Not-A-Casino Lotto. To play, simply write
down how much exactly the Tribe will spend not building the Gaming Center at the proposed site. Send your
entry, along with $100, to the Coyote Tribal Council. All proceeds of the Not-A-Casino Lottery will help pay
for the project. Coyote tribal members required to play.
Siletz Free Press, Inc.
1541 Taft
Eugene, OR 97402