THURSDAY, JUNE 14, 1945
A iK M C O A
AHOTHCK
quiz with answer» offerin g ?
information on various subjects J
< m
T H K S TO U T TO VS T A B : T k s Atnsrl-
ta n troop* a rrived la Adano, w ith M i> i
Joppolo, the Am(o< o B e e r la charsa.
S e rie a a t Borth was la ch ares of tecarl-
ty . The M a jo r was determ lacd to hold
the confldeae* of the people aad to ro-
p ia re their hell atolea by the N a ils . De
spite orders Issued by G en eral M a rvin ,
barring carts from the city. M a jo r .»op-
pole recalled the order, to p e rm it food
aad w ater Io eater the city. M . Caeo-
pardo asked permlssloa fro m the M a jo r
to see G eaeral M a rv la aad ghr* him In
fo rm ation oa G erm an troop movements.
When he arrived the G en eral refused to
listen to him and had Cacopardo tossed
out. The genera] Im m ediately recalled
M a jo r Joppolo'» name.
CHAPTER XIV
n
Polack said: "Oh, he kicks every
body, I don't see nothin' special
about that."
Chuck said: "Yeah, but look, Po
lack, here you got a guy who's best
thing ever happened to this town, I
mean he unnerstands these people,
and that old General Marvin he's
gonna bust him down to Corporal,
just like me. Now what kind of a
war is that?”
Bill said: "Cinque quattro tre due
uno. Backwards. Cinque quattro
tre due uno."
Polack grew suspicious. He said:
"How you know? Does the old gen
eral tell you who he's gonna bust
and who he's not?”
Chuck said: "I seen the paper."
Polack said: "Bustin' him ?"
Chuck said: "No, the paper 'a t’s
goin' to get him busted. Trapani
and me, we tried to hide it, but the
"I don’t know whether he has
been captured or killed or what.
That is the bad part. That is why
I wanted to talk with you, Mister
Major. Giorgio and I were going
to be m arried.”
"Well, what do you want me to
do?”
"Can you find out for me whether
he is a prisoner, Mister M ajor?”
"What do you expect me to do,
go through all our prison camps and
ask all the men if they are the
sweetheart of Tina in Adano?”
"You must have some lists, don't
you?”
"A hundred people come in my
office every day asking me this. I
tell you it is none of my business.
The war is still going on, can't you
understand that? We have a cam
paign to fight. We can’t just stop
in the middle of battle and open up
a question-and-answer service for
forlorn lovers.”
And he turned and went into the
living room, where Captain Purvis
was shaping a heart with his two
thumbs and forefingers and then
pointing first at himself, then at
Francesca.
" I ’m going home, Captain.”
"What for?”
"Oh, I’m fed up with this, I’m go
ing home.”
"Well, you’ll excuse me if I don’t
come. I never thought I’d ever get
anywhere talking with my fingers,
but this isn’t bad. See you tomor
row, Major.”
It is very rare for an M.P. to
drink anything, even vino, to ex
cess, but Corporal Chuck Schulte
was a rare M.P. His two friends,
Bill and Polack, were in the Engi
neer Battalion which was working
Not knowing is worse than having
around Adano. They were billeted
him dead.”
in the same house with Chuck and I
some other M.P.’s.
. Cap’n found it. It's sure goin’ to
Chuck and Bill and Polack did not get the Major busted when old pie-
drink vino in order to savor it on face sees it.”
their tongues. They did not drink ' Polack said: "Jeez,.can you imag-
it to compare it with other wines ine a war like that?"
which they had had on other occa- ! Chuck said: "Hell of a w ar.”
sions. They did not drink it to ! Polack said: "Chuck, you proved
complement food. They drank it to it to me. Hell of a war.”
set drunk.
Bill said: "I like cinque best.
get
On the way home, Chuck Schulte Cinque cinque cinque.
Chuck said: "Rotten dirty stinkin’
said: "Hell of a war.”
Polack said: "Sm atter, Chuck, unfair lousy war.”
Polack said: "Hell of a war, you
you gonna get sick again?”
Chuck said: "Oh, no, I feel good. take and ruin the bes’ man you
got.
It’s jus’ hell of a war.”
Chuck said: "I like that Major,
Polack said: "Prove it.”
Bill said, for the ninetieth time he’s honest. I don’t.w ant for him to
that night: “Uno due tre quattro be busted like that.”
.iwvio
I Polack said: "I ain’t never seen
cinque ”
Polack said: "Shup, Bill. Prove this Major, but if you say he’s the
best Major you ever seen. I ’ll take
it’s hell of a war, Chuck.”
your word for it and I think it’s a
Chuck said: “ Major.”
unfair war myself for bustin’ him.”
Polack said: "Major who?”
Chuck said: “ You know, we ought
Chuck said: "You know the fella.
to do somethin’ for that Major. Po
Town Hall fella.”
Polack said: “ Yeah, I know the lack, we ought to do somethin’ for
one you m ean.”
him.”
Polack said: "You said me a
Chuck said: "Joppolo, that’s fel
mouthful, Chuck. We sure ought
low.”
Polack said: “ What about him? ' to.”
What's he gotta do with it?”
I Chuck said: "What could we do,
Bill said: “Cinque cinque cinque ' Polack? Somethin’ good... He de-
einque cinque.”
! serves it, somethin’ good."
Chuck said: “ He never gets drunk, ! Polack said: "What could we do,
never, never gets drunk. But he’s Chuck? You're a Corporal, and Bill
good fella.”
i and me, we’re just P.F.C.’s. What
Polack said: "Oh, he’s wonderful could we do?”
fella.”
I Chuck said: "Let’s think."
Chuck said: "He’s bes’ fella whole
Polack said: "Okay, pal. . . .
invasion.”
: You thinkin’?”
Polack said: “Oh, he’s better’n
Chuck said: "Yeah, but I ain’t
got a thing."
that. He’s perfec’.”
Bill said: "Uno due tre. We ought
Chuck said: “ No, he ain’ per
fect. He don’t drink. But he’s good. to give the guy a goin’-away pres
Oh, he’s good’s hell. These wops, ent if he’s all that good.”
Chuck said: “ First sensible thing
they think he’s perfect. He’s bes’
thing ever happened to this town.” you said all night, Bill. We’ll give
Polack said: “What’s 'at prove? him a present.”
Polack said: "W hat’ll we give
Prove it’s hell of a war. Don’t
him, Chuck?
change a subjec’.”
Chuck said: "That’s a hell of a
Bill said: “ Una due tre una due
tough one. For a goin’ away pres
tre .”
Chuck said: “Shut up your count ent, it’s got to be good, if it’s for
ing, Bill. I’ll prove it’s hell of a him.”
Polack said: " It was Bill’s idea.
war. It’s all ’cause of the Major.”
Polack said: “How’s he prove any What’ll we give him, Bill?”
Bill said grandly: "Uno due tre
thing if he don’t drink?”
quattro cinque.
Chuck said: "Here's how he proves
Chuck said: “He’s no good, him
everything. He’s bes’ thing ever and his numbers. We got to think
happened to this town, but he’s gon of something, Polack, we got to.”
na get kicked. Now is that any kind
Polack said: “ Let’s go back and
of a w ar?”
get
those bottles. Maybe they’d help
Polack said: "Who’s gonna kick
him? Show me the stiff who’s gonna ■ us think of something,
kick him.”
! Chuck said: "That’s hard, to think
Chuck said: “ General Marvin’s of somethin’ good enough for that
gonna kick him, that’s who!”
' Major.”
. u
f ia t u s m
FfTirÄ,
Polack said: "I can think of a
lot of things, but not a one of ’em is
good enough. The trouble with that
Major is he's too good. Now you
give me a lousy Major, and I'd have
you a present in no tim e.”
Chuck said: "It's a hell of n war
when you can’t even think of a goln'-
away present for a good guy."
Polack said: "Say! I Just thought
of somethin’ terrible. Are you sure
this Major’s goin' away?"
Chuck said: "Didn’t I see that slip
of paper?”
Polack said: "That’s right. Shall
we give him* a bottle of ol' lady
F atta's wine?"
Chuck said: "Polack, you know
that’s not good enough."
Chuck said: "Polack, I think
you’re drunk. What's the m atter
with you?”
Bill said: "One, two, three, four,
five. Why don't you borrow some
thing from old Four Eyes here to
give the Major? You’d find a real
nice goin'-away present right here
in this house if you just got up and
looked for it."
Chuck said: "Bill, why don’t you
have more ideas? You got the best
ideas when you have 'em .”
Polack said: "Yeah, good idea,
let's borrow something.”
Chuck said: "Bill, you don’t even
know how good your ideas are when
you have 'em. Look: this Major,
he’s Italian himself, speaks it like a
native. He sure is gonna appreci
ate something Italian from old Four
Eyes’ house. Boy, Bill, I don' know
why you aren’ a millionaire with the
ideas you got.”
Bill said: "Una and tre is quat
tro. Due and tre is cinque. I can
even add."
Chuck said: "Let’s go an’ find
something ’fore we pass out.”
Polack said: "Lookit that room,
like a Gran’ Central Station. There’s
a lot of Eyetalian junk in there."
Chuck said: “ Let's have look.”
Polack said: "Why’n we give’m a
chair?”
Chuck said: "Good idea. Take the
shroud ofTn a chair, give ’im a
chair.”
Chuck and Polack skated across
the floor to a chair. They bent over
it to take the slip cover off Their
fumbling hands could not find where
to loosen the cover.
"L if it up,” Chuck suggested.
"Look at it from unnemeath.”
So they lifted the chair above their
heads. Polack reried. Chuck lost
his grip. The chair crashed to the
floor, and a leg broke off. Bill
picked the leg up.
Chuck said: "Too much trouble,
lousy chair.”
Polack spotted a terra cotta bust
standing on a marble pillar-like
stand in one corner. "Who's ’at?”
Bill said, as if positive: "Gari
baldi.”
Polack said: "Le’s give’m a Gari-
bally." And he went over to the cor
ner, lifted the bust off the pillar,
started uncertainly back toward the
others, lost his balance, and dropped
the bust. It broke into hundreds of
pieces.
Polack looked over the mantel at
a painting of a fat nude. She was
lovely in his wine-washed eyes, and
he said: "Give’m a woman. A Ma
jor needs a woman.”
So the three worked together to
get the pointing down. They bal
anced themselves on chairs and
grunted and all lifted on the bottom
edge of the painting. They man
aged to lift it off its hook, but they
could not keep it balanced. The pic
ture fell, and its canvas hit the back
of a chair, and the fat woman was
ripped from flank to flank.
Polack said: "Le’s go in ’nother
room.”
They went into a dining room. In
one corner there was a big glass
faced cabinet containing Venetian
glassware on shelves. “ Give ’im
somethin’ to drink out of,” Chuck
said.
He tried the door of the cabinet,
but it was locked. "Bill,” he said,
"open this thing up. Don’t just stan’
there with that club. Open up.”
Polack said: “Case of ’mergency,
break glass an’ pull lever.”
Bill stepped up and poised the
chair leg. “ Una, due, tre,” he said,
and on three he let go. The glass
front shivered to the floor. The three
boys staggered forward to choose a
gift. First they dropped a bowl.
Then they dropped a glass swan.
Then they dropped a big goblet.
Then they knocked the whole cabi
net over and broke everything.
The three men went from room
to room this way, leaving a trail of
ruin behind them. Their disappoint
ment grew as they saw their
chances dwindling of getting any
thing good enough (or durable
enough) for the Major.
Finally Chuck said: "Hell of a
war, when you can’t even find a
present in ol’ Four Eyes’ house.”
(T O ISE C O N T IN U E D »
e^ A- e- «-.c-e- o-
«*- «*•
The Queationa
8. When a custom tux or import
duty is assessed at a certain per
centage of the value of the import
1. What President popularized ed article, it is called what?
the fireside?
2. How many employees of the
The A n iu r n i
executive branch of the U. S. gov
ernment serve without pay?
1. Abraham Lincoln He studied
3 What was the peacetime oc
cupation of Francis Scott Key, beside the fireplace in his parent»'
writer of "The Star Spangled Ban cabin.
2 About 283,000.
ner"?
3. Lawyer.
4. How many members who at
4. Sixteen.
tended the Constitutional Conven
3. A hangnail.
tion did not sign the Constitution?
6. Ad valorem.
5. What is an agnail?
Your Photographs in Fabric Covered
Frames Add Friendly Note to Room
w
ro
B y Ruth W y eth Spectra
fram es covered witli blue velvet
| hcavv cardboard
een and hung with wide red rib
OR AN OLD
PlC TU R S F R A «
bon.
Plaid gingham might l x used lo r fr a m
ing plclutes for a less fo rm al room , or
you in lg h l like pink or blue satin tor a
very dressy bedroom Old picture fram es
m ay be covered with the fabric or new
ones m ay be m ade any sire by cu llin g
Ibein out of heavy cardboard and (hen
covering them . A ll the alepa are shown
In the sketch.
CUT V iL V t T lIk l
TO FIT; TM f N TURN
to o ts back
AkO SIW
G las s
MSWC
r o o t or
COVSRSO
FRAMl
r »I W
J
M U S L IN
TO BACA
STICK PICT OR t
tTQAACK Q f S U U S WITH O u m m ip
N O T E The picture fram e h ire ih o u n
la from BOOK « of the aerlra avail*
able Io leader« at 15 cent« each
Thl«
booklet contain« 32 page* of clearly lllu»*
(rated way« to keep home« cheerful w ith
thing« on hand or with lnexpen»ive new
m aterials
T o ifet a copy o f BOOK S.
»end nam e and addreaa w ith 15 cent» Io.
h rtr
Ifip u
PICTURES of those we love and
* of places we wunt to remem
ber add a friendly note to any
room if they are attractively
framed and hung in nicely bal
anced groups. A spotty scattered
effect has been carefully avoided j
in framing und hanging the four
snapshots to fill the important
wall space over the desk in the
sketch. Color has been added with
M KS K I T H W 5 K T H B P K A R *
Medford Mill»
New York
D raw er !•
Enclose 15 cent» for Ikn-k No •
Nam e.
Address
2)§mileAijhil<
He Knew
She Did It
tfrs. Campbell I tear, I Mnt> (3 r »«ref-
Mother—I was so embarrassed
last night when I found you sitting esf little hat dounloun («dev.
I eaaphaU I ’m u m and tri m r see
on Paul's lap.
Daughter—Why mother, that's hnu you look in it.
what you told me to do.
Crash, Bang!
Mother—Told you what?
"How’s your wife coming with
Daughter—You said if he ever
her driving?"
got too sm art, to sit on him.
"She took a turn for the worse
yesterday.”
Sure Enough, I t Did
Private See that tailor over there an
haying that girl?
" I ’m w illin g ,”
said the overly
HI. I’. If h y, he't not even lookin g at stout woman ru efu lly, as she gazed
het.
j at the sign in the m eat m a rk et,
P riia le — That'» ivhal’i annoying her.
reading: " G iv e your fa t to Uncle
F a ir W arning
’ Sam."
The wife was cross and irritable
at the breakfast table.
"What is the trouble?" asked
her husband.
"If I ever dream again that you
kissed another woman, I ’ll never
speak to you as long as I live,"
she said.
If your furnace has a tendency
to rust in a damp cellar choose a
Leo Objected
Clerk—Boss, there is an appli | dozen or more cool days during
cant here who says he made his the summer to burn papers in the
living by sticking his right arm fire box. This will help prevent re
placing pipes and other metal ap
into a lion's mouth.
Boss—Interesting. What’s his purtenances every few years. A
better precaution, of course, is to
name?
remove the cause of the dampness,
Clerk—They call him Lefty.
but this is often costly since it
means extensive resealing of cel
O r Cats in the Catsup
The “fresh” diner remarked "I lar walls.
can't find any chicken in the chick
Don’t be annoyed by a food chop-
en soup.”
The waitress replied: "Well, you | per that won’t stay firmly an-
won’t find any horses in the horse ( chored to the table. Put a piece of
sandpaper, gritty side up, on the
radish either!”
table before screwing the chopper
A masseuse is one who makes in place above it.
—• —
money off the fat of the land.
Cut blotting paper to fit the bot
tom of the large salt shaker. This
Would Help
Her Father—My boy, I’m afraid will take up the dampness, leaving
you will never be able to support the salt dry and free running.
— —
my daughter. Why I can hardly
When boiling potatoes for mash
manage it myself.
Her Sweetie—Well, why not let’s ing, cut them ns for french fries.
Much time and fuel will be saved.
go 50-50 on it?
Migfrty Good Eating/
“Tin trm« tri tint I m 4 s "
K r llocg 's C o rn F ls lirs b rin g
you n ea rly a ll the p ro te c
tiv e food elem ent« o f the
w hole gram declared essen
tia l to h u m an n u tritio n .
CORN /«au*
FLAKES
g
f