f
Thursday, September 29, 1955
Page 1
SECTION 2
Mrs. W aldien Makes Full Confession
She Has the Contraption,
Admits It Took Courage
T o Light First Gas let
W.? have it! I baked a Johnny
Cake in thw “thinjef.!” Y ea I
boiled over th e coffee too, but
1 d ’d n ’t realize as I w hipped up
th a t iohnnv cake th a t I w as
‘ cookin’’ up headline news. H ad
st»«*h b en th e case. O ’d B ear
Bi'*'. fl'CYlneCs ol'l pet sow
w ould have been th e recipient
of th e w h e’e m ess sooner th an
she did. But 1 baked th at johnny
cake i we like o u rs baked, or at
least half dried out a la ye old
an tiq u e woode ran g e) and it
seem s in doing so perform ed an
act w o rth y of h is ^ ric a l record.
I suppose t) is is a little off
th e record but ju st last Sunday,
F red G ard n er cam e to the ranch
to ta k e old B ear Bite home. He
sw ore sh e’d come for miles wb«n
she h eard his “w ooshie.” W ell he
“wooshied
and
he
w ooshied”
rig h t by my back door too. but
old B ear Bite didn't bite. She
hid. <Sh*> knows a good th in g s
w hen she ta ste s it) I don’t think
F re d got as far as the river be
fore h ere she cam e again. Not
alone this tim e, but w ith all her
b r o o d r e a d y again to tak e up
residence u n d e r the house as
official food ta ste r. (S he’s used
to roughing it on Long Ridge
like' the rest of us) Mew I say
M ax, ( You c a l’ed
E sth e r,
I'll call you Max. O k a y ? ) it
w ould ta k e m ore th an your lit
e ra ry gem of recent publication
to convince n r ' I c a n 't ‘‘cook on
gas.’’ The proof of the puddin’s
in th e r a tin ’, I say. so just so’s
\o u can't w rite any m ore of
those stories about me w ith o u t
having the facts, 1 stirre d up a
Jo hnny C ako for you too. (T he
ing red ien ts g u a ra n te e d to con
form to the p ur? food and drug
act . . . ev m for news c o rres
pondents) F ra n k said the last
t me h? cam e down to th e low er
place h‘ s cheeked it every day
for a w eek now and so fa r it has-
not eM> m s ta rte d to broown!!
W o n d e r w hat is w ro n g ? Ed
IP" SOP1P
,
w an ts to sell us
Ah yes. Max. you ;
ight.
’Tis all too tru e Ever
lib '
gets m ore com n’ieah't
us
hilj billies. T oo many
rots,
too m any contraptions, M< iy a
narrow e s c a p ’ I’ve bad
‘iv il-
' w -
ization n e a rly stuck
into me. W hy ju st the
H anscam s sold us a v
p h an t! J u s t im agine u
b a th tu b and hot w a
iter.
W hat in ta rn a tio n w
do
w ith ’e m ? F ra n k say
use
th a t b a th tu b e ff’n
scald hogs in it com» hut«
tim e this fall.
Now w ith th e refi
d o rs
and deepfreeze, th a t’s diff* ‘ren t.
T h e y ’re useful. It took us i
w hile to c a tc h on but th a t last
be.it w ave tu rn e d the trick We
ju st open th e doors and presto.
Cool as C ucum bers!!!
All to ironical it seems now.
Jo t when my resistant!? was at
the lowest ebb, our friend (? )
Ben Jones a rriv e d w ith a gas
stove of all things! It w as in
evitable! T he fascin atin ' gadget
s 'r u c k a harm onious chord w ithin
me as 1 lit it, and w ith that tirst
lighting my very first sy m p ath
etic ( ? ) structure! squeezed out
a te a r of g ra titu d e (ju st one of
course) for you oldsters, who m
y o u r v in tag e y e a rs m ust realize
th e in v aluable service you hav
perform ed for such fled-; it
.'r a n k and nee. I low you mus
have su ffered
piom ering
th
îocky road to ’ ’Cookin’ on gas'
Gh. pardon me I’m sorry, th t
wiis just one m ore te a r (I eo u il
w a ste tw o) ol remonse, How
could you, a fellow hill billy, tell
th. w orld my most chei she !
s e c r e t? ? ? ? W hy not even my
closest neighbor knew th a t 1
couldn’t even tu rn on a gas jet.
Ju st betw een you and me, Ed
T horton really didn’t try to sell
me gas 11 w ouldn't w ant to hurt
1 s iu ? h n g si W hat he really sit.d
v as "W hen you gtM these new
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Rv CLIFFORD RO toF
T ' \ > nev er been too m uch dis
tu rb ?! bv th e an tic1- of those who
1 ou
thew chests as they rav e
to tb e v o rld of th«' m vigoration of
an • e r ’v rising. W hile I alw ays
try to be to ’»xrant of the idiosyn-
Coquille. Valiey SE N T IN E 1 .
« • isies of o thers, I am firm ly con
Tw V peaki .s. John H unt, and vinced th a t these w orshippers of
G eorge M urphy, w ho o o ern te the tbe dawr. a re lacking som ething
rb ri'm n’ mt on th«' No»th Bank ’ ...... i r . for all hum ans who
Pi'.ad told a n u m b e r of Com- ' «»"Id enjoy life to th e u tm o st
T b it, perhaps, is w hy T hav e
m er-e m eetim ’' th a t the chrom e
d«>»'ns fs esnecially in O regon are nev r becom e a sportsm an. W hile
o’S'hpbfv the la rg e st in the coun- 1 m ay envy those who do p a rt-
t> ' n o ' tb it the Pennsylv-ifiia icip. • w hen T see them proudly
h i’ e been depleted. Al- disp lying th e ir haul, I still feel
<ho»«irh O regon ore is com oarat- th ' - icrifice involved to he o u t
ively low n chrom o content, new of a ’l proportion of th e rew ard.
r v th o d s m ake its ex tra c tio n a 2 or ! have raw er known a fisher-
«mod business and w hile it is im ’ • an ir h u n te r who d idn’t insist
p ractical to nrofitablv w ork th e tb " on«» m ust r ;, e in th e m u rk y
■ iw!
stu ff bin.self h alf-asleep
into
his
regalia, and then p a rk
back beaches
explored.
1 m »If on th e hank of a stre a m
C en tu ries •
akers said, oi* 1 a blind to w ait for th e ris
m e ta ls cm«’
from the ing sun to thaw him back in to
«'*• vat ions in
th<
as to be «on ousness. S u fferin g seem s to
subjected to
act
sim ilar to Iw a requisite to pleasure.
th a t of a hug«
pan and tossed
I "-pit«' my preju d ice in th is
back by t he w
R eceding ocean
1. I was forci'd recen tly to
levels 1 'f t d
it 'hi
h istiy hour of 5
fa ” froi
pr >
; m in o rd er to reach a c e rta in
these h e m iy time-; pro\
’ •
t n at an appointed hour,
w o rth expl
d had kept me from leaving
T he snea
-fa te d th a t mu
hf b. ore w as the fact th a t
e f th e ere-1
tb«* dev.'lopm e:
v '•> ttin g up w ith the chick-
of c u r i’Mit :
’ p ro ce sses sn o u
h a te most is try in g to sleep
be given tl
?a u of M ines b
aw;
from home.
the w oi k 1!
d d u rin g t he w a
At any rate, 1 did leave coffee-
1 ■ In-eaklastless, shaveless an d
pi • i my way dow n a trafficless
Itl.C )O K F P
k ' ' v iy
! w as th e only fool
«''ku 1 th a t m orning. The trip
ton M a n ?
nt t i i ' 1*11.0
ice to protest m ight not h a \? tieen so bad if
v»me o il the i h lift tu rn ed on the radio for
list of eompe
baby pictures com pany. It was then I discovered
at T ots To T
II«' w as espec- a c h a ra c te r th at I had never im
ially ind gnc.i it he«' se be took agined would have the courage to
‘vcond pine?
a re equally exist.
It w as a radio an n o u n cer shout-
orry that »
(Orb )lc?d you,
C layton. To t •> a r 1 m ake it ing an idiotic glee anent th e h eau t-
■ «mare w ith \ «»ti we b. «> r «'h y 'es
(ke rising sun. th e glories
announ«'«'ment
Iwhng alive, th e dew on th e
took
s >?ond Kra ss> ar,d all th e w hile yelping
photo contest ‘t;o«»«i m orning, good m orning” to
th«
the a c o m ¡»an infant of supposedly
d I
In 1955
■ tim u la tin g music.
F or some fellow stru g g lin g
home
a f te r a h ard n ig h t’s w o rk
s get a hook of
on
ih«'
g ra v e y a rd shift some solace
ot thick and rea«l
m
ight
have been forth co m in g
'TU
>h shucks, I give up!
to te ’l a ruth- Irom such a gneeting. F o r me, I
id discovered ju st one m oiv reas
-ays turn! out
on
for rem ain in g al>ed in th e
id ’s. Ju st a lot
moi inng u ntil th e good old e a rth
li is been properly prep ared for
a decent existence.
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’5
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