SAVAGE
LOVE
IN THE CIRCUIT COURT OF THE STATE OF
OREGON FOR THE COUNTY OF LANE , John
Alvin Porter, Petitioner, and Denise Leann
Porter, Respondent. Case No. 20DR15464
SUMMONS FOR FAMILY LAW CASE. To:
Denise Leann Porter, Home Address:
Unknown, Work Address: None. Your
spouse, partner, or child’s parent has filed
a Petition asking for: Divorce or dissolu-
tion of your registered domestic partner-
ship (RDP). NOTICE TO RESPONDENT:
READ THESE PAPERS CAREFULLY! You
must “appear” in this case or the other
side will win automatically. To “appear”
you just file a legal paper called a
“Response” or a motion. Response forms
are available through the court above or
online at www.courts.oregon.gov. Talk to a
lawyer for information about appearing by
motion. Your Response must be filed with
the court clerk at the court named above
within 30 days of the date of first publica-
tion specified herein: 01/14/21, along with
required filing fee (go to www.courts.ore-
gon.gov for fee information). It must be in
proper form and you must show that the
Petitioner’s lawyer (or the Petitioner if he
or she does not have a lawyer) was formal-
ly served with a copy of the Response
according to the service rules. Service
rules are included in Instructions for
Respondents, available at www.courts.
oregon.gov. If you have questions, see a
lawyer immediately. If you need help find-
ing a lawyer, you can call the Oregon State
Bar’s Lawyer Referral Service at
503.684.3763 or toll free in Oregon at
800.452.7636, or go to www.oregonstate-
bar.org. /s/ John Alvin Porter, P.O. Box
1289, Springfield, OR 97477, (503)754-
1420. [Attach to Summons per ORS
107.093(5)] NOTICE OF STATUTORY
RESTRAINING ORDER PREVENTING
DISSIPATION OF ASSETS IN DOMESTIC
RELATIONS ACTIONS. REVIEW THIS
NOTICE CAREFULLY. BOTH PARTIES MUST
OBEY EACH PROVISION OF THIS ORDER
TO AVOID VIOLATING THE LAW. SEE
INFORMATION ON YOUR RIGHT TO A
HEARING BELOW. TO THE PETITIONER
AND RESPONDENT: Under ORS 107.093
and UTCR 8.080, neither Petitioner nor
Respondent may: INSURANCE POLICIES: (1)
Cancel, modify, terminate or allow to lapse
for nonpayment of premiums any policy of
health insurance, homeowner or renter
insurance, or automobile insurance that
one party maintains to provide coverage
for the other party or a minor child of the
parties, or any life insurance policy that
names either of the parties or a minor
child of the parties as a beneficiary.
INSURANCE BENEFICIARIES : (2) Change
beneficiaries or covered parties under any
policy of health insurance, homeowner or
renter insurance, or automobile insurance
that one party maintains to provide cover-
age for the other party or a minor child of
the parties, or any life insurance policy.
PROPERTY : (3) Transfer, encumber, con-
ceal, or dispose of property in which the
other party has an interest, in any manner,
without written consent of the other party
or an order of the court, except in the
usual course of business or for necessities
of life. (A) Paragraph (3) does not apply to
payment by either party of: (i) Attorney
E U G E N E W E E K LY . C O M
fees in this action; (ii) Real estate and
income taxes; (iii) Mental health therapy
expenses for either party or a minor child
of the parties; or (iv) Expenses necessary
to provide for safety and welfare of party
or a minor child of the parties. EXPENSES :
(4) Make extraordinary expenditures with-
out providing written notice and an
accounting of the extraordinary expendi-
tures to the other party. This does not
apply to payment of expenses necessary
to provide for the safety and welfare of a
party or a minor party of the parties.
EFFECTIVE DATE : The above provisions are
in effect immediately upon service of the
Petition and Summons on the respondent.
They remain in effect until a final judg-
ment is issued, until the petition is dis-
missed or until future order of the court.
RIGHT TO REQUEST A HEARING : Either
Petitioner or Respondent may request a
hearing to modify or revoke one or more
terms of this restraining order, by filing
with the court the Request for Hearing re:
Statutory Restraining Order form speci-
fied in Form 8.080.2 in the UTCR Appendix
of Forms.
IN THE DISTRICT COURT OF THE FOURTH
JUDICIAL DISTRICT OF THE STATE OF
IDAHO , IN AND FOR THE COUNTY OF ADA,
JUSTIN BRADLEY DAVIS, Petitioner, vs.
DANNA LEE OLSON, Respondent. CASE
NO. CV01-20-19281 SUMMONS BY
PUBLICATION TO: DANNA LEE OLSON You
have been sued by Justin Bradley Davis,
the Petitioner in the District Court in and
for Ada County, Idaho, Case No. CV01-20-
19281. The nature of the claim against you
is for Divorce. Any time after 21 days fol-
lowing the last publication of this
Summons, the court may enter a judg-
ment against you without further notice,
unless prior to that time you have filed a
written response in the proper form,
including the case number, and paid any
required filing fee to the Clerk of the Court
at 200 W. Front Street, Boise, Idaho
83702), physical address (200 W. Front
Street, Boise, Idaho) and telephone num-
ber of the district court clerk] (208)287-
6900 and served a copy of your response
on the other party, whose mailing address
and telephone number are: Jennifer M.
Schindele, P.O. Box 827, Boise, Idaho
83701. A copy of the Summons and
Petition for Divorce can be obtained by
contacting either the Clerk of the Court or
Bevis, Thiry & Schindele, P.A. at 208-345-
1040. If you wish legal assistance, you
should immediately retain an attorney to
advise you in this matter. Date:12/31/2020,
Ada County District Court: /s/Phil
McGrane. Typed/printed name: Kristi
Weekley, By: /s/Kristi Weekley, Deputy
Clerk. JENNIFER M. SCHINDELE ISB #6811,
BEVIS, THIRY & SCHINDELE, P.A., 412 E.
Parkcenter Blvd., Ste. 211, P.O. Box 827
Boise, Idaho, 83701-0827, Telephone:
(208) 345-1040, Facsimile: (208) 345-
0365, E-serve: admin@bevislaw.com
ATTORNEYS FOR PETITIONER.
NOTICE TO INTERESTED PERSONS NOTICE
IS HEREBY GIVEN that the undersigned
has been appointed Personal
Representative of the ESTATE OF FRANK
EDWIN WENDT, deceased, Lane County
Probate Case No. 20PB08796. Any person
having a claim against the Estate is
required to present their claim(s), with
vouchers attached, to Kelly McCorkle, PR,
Estate of Frank Edwin Wendt, c/o Alan R.
Buchalter, 399 East 10th Avenue, Eugene,
Oregon 97401, within four months after
the date of first publication of this Notice,
or the claim(s) may be barred. All persons
whose rights may be affected by the pro-
ceedings may obtain additional informa-
tion from the records of the Court, the
Personal Representative, or the attorney
for the Personal Representative. Dated
and first published: 01/07/21. /s/ Kelly
McCorkle, Personal Representative, PO
Box 915, Veneta, Oregon 97487,
ATTORNEY
FOR
PERSONAL
REPRESENTATIVE: Alan R. Buchalter, OSB
No. 922427, 399 East 10th Avenue,
Eugene, Oregon 97401 (541) 484-4414
NOTICE TO INTERESTED PERSONS IN THE
CIRCUIT COURT FOR THE STATE OF
OREGON FOR LANE COUNTY - PROBATE
DEPARTMENT Case No. 20PB09073 In the
matter of the Estate of Adrienne Lee
Coleman, Decedent, NOTICE IS HEREBY
GIVEN that Bruce Burke has been appoint-
ed personal representative. All persons
having claims against the estate are
required to present them, with vouchers
attached, to the aforementioned personal
representative c/o Northwest Legal, Attn:
Jinoo Hwang, 975 Oak Street, Suite 700,
Eugene, OR 97401, within four months
after the date of first publication of this
notice, or the claims may be barred. All
persons whose rights may be affected by
the proceedings may obtain additional
information from the records of the court,
the personal representative, or attorney
for the personal representative, Northwest
Legal, Attn: Jinoo Hwang, 975 Oak Street,
Suite 700, Eugene, OR 97401.
NOTICE TO INTERESTED PERSONS NOTICE
IS HEREBY GIVEN that the undersigned
has been appointed Personal
Representative of the ESTATE OF MARY
KATHRYN
KEHAUNANI
CLARK-
ALEXANDER , deceased, Lane County
Probate Case No. 20PB08862. Any person
having a claim against the Estate is
required to present their claim(s), with
vouchers attached, to Brian M. Alexander,
PR, Estate of Mary Kathryn Kehaunani
Clark-Alexander, c/o Alan R. Buchalter,
399 East 10th Avenue, Eugene, Oregon
97401, within four months after the date of
first publication of this Notice, or the
claim(s) may be barred. All persons whose
rights may be affected by the proceedings
may obtain additional information from
the records of the Court, the Personal
Representative, or the attorney for the
Personal Representative. Dated and first
published: 01/07/21. /s/ Brian M. Alexander,
Personal Representative, 1265 Taney
Street, Eugene, Oregon 97402, ATTORNEY
FOR PERSONAL REPRESENTATIVE: Alan R.
Buchalter, OSB No. 922427, 399 East 10th
Avenue, Eugene, Oregon 97401, (541) 484-
4414
Case
Disclosed
BY DAN SAVAGE
I could really use your advice. I recently found my boyfriend’s HIV meds while I was house
sitting for him and went into his cupboard for a multivitamin. We’ve been dating for a
year, and I had assumed he was negative. I’m negative myself and on PrEP, and he is un-
detectable, so I know there is essentially zero risk of me getting infected, but we agreed
to some degree of “openness” at the start of the relationship — having threesomes
together — and I recently found a guy we’d like to invite over. I’m trying to get over the
feeling of betrayal from the fact that my boyfriend hid his status from me for so long
but I’m fine with continuing the relationship knowing his status now. The thing is, he told
me that only five people on Earth know and his mother, whom he talks to almost every
day, isn’t one of them. He says being poz has really fucked with his self-esteem and that
he has had suicidal thoughts because of his status. Is it unreasonable for me to expect
him to disclose his status to guys who join us in bed? What about asking him to share
with a therapist or “come out” as poz to his mother? I really love him and just want him
to be happy and healthy.
— Wannabe Ethical And Supportive Slut
If you’re worrying about HIV at the moment, WEASS, you’re worrying about the wrong
virus. Unless you’re lucky enough to live in New Zealand, you and the boyfriend shouldn’t be
inviting men over for threesomes right now.
Assuming you do live in New Zealand… I don’t think your boyfriend is morally obligated to
disclose that he’s HIV-positive to a casual sex partner, WEASS, but in some states he is legally
obligated to disclose that fact. While rarely enforced, these HIV disclosure laws almost always
have the opposite of their intended effect. Instead of creating a culture of testing and disclosure,
these laws disincentivize getting tested — because someone who doesn’t know they’re HIV-posi-
tive can’t get in trouble for failing to disclose.
These laws were passed decades ago, back when contracting HIV was perceived — mostly
accurately — as a death sentence. But they don’t reflect what it means to have HIV today or
to sleep with someone who has HIV today. Having even unprotected sex now with someone
who is HIV-positive and has an undetectable viral load is less risky than having protected sex
with someone who hasn’t been tested. Condom or no condom, the HIV-positive guy with an
undetectable viral load — undetectable thanks to meds like the ones your boyfriend is taking —
can’t infect someone with HIV. Undetectable equals non transmissible. But a guy who assumes
he’s HIV-negative because he was the last time he got tested or because he’s never been test-
ed? That guy could be HIV-positive and could infect someone with HIV — even if he does use a
condom, which could leak or break. (There are lots of other STIs out there we should be using
condoms to protect ourselves from, including a nasty strain of antibiotic-resistant gonorrhea,
but we’re just talking HIV here.)
In answer to your question, WEASS, I think it would be unreasonable for you to force your
boyfriend to disclose his HIV status to the person you want to invite over for a threesome —
but, again, HIV disclosure laws might require your boyfriend to disclose.
Now if the presumably sexually-active, sexually-adventurous gay man you’re thinking about
having over to your place in Christchurch isn’t an idiot, WEASS, he’ll know your boyfriend — the
guy with the undetectable viral load — presents no threat to him, at least where HIV is con-
cerned. And while you absolutely shouldn’t out your boyfriend, WEASS, you could raise the gen-
eral subject of sexual safety and see how this guy reacts. If he seems reasonable — particularly
if he mentions being on PrEP, too — he’s probably not gonna freak out about your boyfriend
being HIV-positive for the exact same reason you didn’t: there’s zero chance your boyfriend
could infect him with HIV. (We’re both assuming this guy isn’t HIV-positive himself, WEASS,
which he might be.) If he seems reasonable you should encourage your boyfriend to disclose to
him. Being told it’s no big deal from someone your boyfriend wants to fuck before he fucks him
could help your boyfriend feel less insecure about his HIV status.
Finally, you can’t order your boyfriend to come out to his mom about being HIV-positive,
WEASS, but you might inspire him to. He obviously worries that people will judge him or shame
for being HIV-positive; that’s one of the reasons he hid it from you — and, yes, he should have
disclosed his HIV status to you sooner. He obviously underestimated you: you didn’t reject him
when you stumbled over his meds after tearing apart the cupboards in his absence while you
were searching for — what was it again? Oh, right: a multivitamin. (Sure.) Anyway, WEASS, tell
your boyfriend he’s most likely underestimating his mother in the same way he underestimated
you — then let him make his own decisions about who to tell and when.
I’m a submissive straight guy who finally — FINALLY — met a woman who is open to my
main kinks: bondage and cuckolding. I’m into handcuffs and leg irons, so the bondage
part was easy (she didn’t have to learn to do shibari), but the cuckolding part is a lot
trickier to realize during a pandemic. She ended a longstanding FWB arrangement with
a coworker when we began to get serious a year ago. Her former FWB is a safe choice,
emotionally-speaking, since there was no romantic interest on either side, and he’s safe
where COVID-19 is concerned, since they are in a “pod” at work. (And they’ll both be vac-
cinated soon!) She keeps saying he’s the perfect bull but he’s not right for me — which is
a weird thing for me to say, since I’m not the one who’ll be sleeping with him. I don’t want
to sound conceited, but I’m much better looking than he is and I’m also better hung. My
cuckold fantasies revolve around my girlfriend fucking a guy who’s hotter than me and
better hung than I am. I worked with a therapist for a long time — not to “cure” me of
my kinks, but to better understand them. And what I came to is this: it’s both deeply
threatening (in an erotic way) for my girlfriend to fuck someone who’s “better” than me
and deeply reassuring (in an emotional way) when she chooses to be with me when she
could be with a “better” man.
— Better Example Than This Erotic Rival
Something about this guy works for your girlfriend — there’s a reason she keeps bringing
him up — and if you want to have a future with this woman and you want cuckolding to be a
part of that future, BETTER, then going with someone she’s comfortable with the first time/
few times she cucks you is a really good idea. And while he may not be better looking than you
or have a bigger dick, BETTER, he’s gotta be “better” than you are in some other objective
sense — better educated, makes better money, better at eating pussy, etc. Surely there’s
something about him your girlfriend can throw in your face that tweaks your insecurities
(when she heads off to fuck him) and meets your need for reassurance (when she comes back
to you). And how do you know your dick is bigger than his? Because your girlfriend told you it
was. You might want to ask her if she lied about his dick being smaller than yours, BETTER,
because that’s definitely the kind of lie women tell new boyfriends about their exes and old
FWBs. Given a chance to walk that back, BETTER, your girlfriend very well might — and it
might even be true.
While we are discussing the social ramifications, etymologies, synonyms, etc., of ejac-
ulate (noun and verb) and orgasm, can I throw in a request to alter the course of pop-
ularity for another word as well? It’s this: “girl.” I cannot stand to see that word used
to describe a woman. “I’m seeing this girl…” Oh, you’re seeing a “girl”? Is she 12? If an
individual is seeing a “girl” and that individual is 30, that is pedophilia. Now, if an indi-
vidual is seeing a woman, and she happens to be approximately the same age (or older
or younger within legal parameters) and there is mutual consent, that’s fine. But if an
individual is seeing a “girl,” that isn’t right.
— Woman Over Regular Degradation
If an individual is seeing a pre-pubescent minor, that’s pedophilia and child rape. If an
individual is seeing a pubescent minor, that’s hebephilia and either child rape or statutory
rape. If a person is seeing an adult and casually refers to that adult person as a girl, that’s
not pedophilia or hebephilia or child rape or statutory rape. I mean, come on. There’s a huge
difference between someone affectionately referring to a new partner as a girl/girlfriend —
or a boy/boyfriend — and someone, say, dismissively and intentionally infantilizing adult fe-
male coworkers or political leaders. Just as I wouldn’t hear “girls night out” and assume that
meant underage drinking, I wouldn’t assume someone who said they were seeing a girl — or
dating a boy — was sleeping with a 12 year old child. But that’s just me.
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