FREE WILL
ASTROLOGY
BY R O B B R E Z S N Y
ARIES (March 21-April 19): I share Vincent Van Gogh’s belief that “the best way to know life is to love many
things.” But I also think that the next twelve months will be an inspiring time for you to be focused and sin-
gle-minded in your involvement with love. That’s why I encourage you to take an approach articulated by the
Russian mystic Anne Sophie Swetchine: “To love deeply in one direction makes us more loving in all others.”
Halloween costume suggestion: a lover celebrating a sacred union to the love of your life, to God or Goddess or to
a symbol of your most sublime ideal.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “Yes, We Have No Bananas” is a silly novelty song that became a big hit in 1923. Its
absurdity led to its wide use for humorous effect. For example, on the kids’ TV series The Muppet Show, puppets
made out of fruits and vegetables sang parodies of the tune. That’s why I find it droll that the “No Bananas” song-
writers stole part of the melody from the “Hallelujah Chorus,” the climax of classical composer George Handel’s
religious oratorio Messiah. I’d love to see you engage in comparable transmutations, Taurus: making serious
things amusing and vice versa. It’s a time when you can generate meaningful fun and playful progress through
the art of reversal. Halloween costume suggestion: a tourist from Opposite Land or Bizarro World.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In the next two weeks, you may have to navigate your way through careless
gossip, distorted “facts,” superficial theories, hidden agendas, fake news and official disinformation. To prevent
problems in communication with people who matter, take advantage of the Halloween spirit in this way: Obtain
a bicycle helmet and cover it with aluminum foil. Decorate it with an Ace of Clubs, a red rose, images of wrathful
but benevolent superheroes, and a sign that says “No Bullshit Allowed.” By wearing this crown, you should
remain protected. If that’s too weird for you, do the next best thing: Vow to speak the whole truth and nothing but
the truth, and ask to receive the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Watch out for a fake pizza-delivery driver who’s actually trying to issue you a
legal summons. Be careful you don’t glimpse a blood red sky at dusk, in case it’s a prophetic sign that your cell
phone will fall into a toilet sometime soon. Beware of the possibility that a large bird carrying a turtle to its nest
accidentally drops its prey into a rain puddle near you, splashing mud on your fancy clothes. JUST KIDDING! All
the scenarios I just described are stupid lies. The truth is, this should be one of the most worry-free times ever.
You’re welcome, of course, to dream up a host of scary fantasies if you find that entertaining, but I guarantee that
they’ll be illusory. Halloween costume suggestion: an indomitable warrior.
I Saw You
I T ’ S F R E E T O P L AC E A N I S AW YO U ! E M A I L : I S AW YO U @ E U G E N E W E E K LY.C O M
D AT I N G S E R V I C E S
***FALL FLING?!***
A nice time and sensuality is just a call away.
Travelers most welcome! Sorry, no blocked
calls. Tia 541-870-6127.
I S AW YOU
BY NOW YOU SURELY MUST KNOW
I AM A HOLLOW BAMBOO
how to reach me since I am near the Post
Office in the original first state capitol of
Oregon...I am 26ktgoldheart NOT of
Sunnybrook, my family is NOT the box
type...You are not an angel but a some-
times artisan/poet whose tools are words
and clay. I remain still crazy after ALL
these many, many years.
Filled with the Melody of You
My Longing is a Sail in the Wind
To Cross the Sea of Grace
To Bead with You again
Oh, Baba; My Rosary is Broken
Could You help me mend it,
Please..? Love, Your Huckelberry
CURIOUS KITTY PAWS AT PHISHHEAD:
A brief discussion of wind energies and a
martini at a church. Furrever love at first
sight that night. Meow.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): What is the material object you want most but don’t have? This is an object that would
serve your soul’s highest purposes, although not necessarily your ego’s. Here’s another question: What evoca-
tive symbol might help keep you inspired to fulfill your dreams over the course of the next five years? I suggest
that you choose one or both of those things to be the inspiration for your Halloween costume.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Did you get a chance to go to circus school when you were a kid? How about magic
school? Or maybe detective school or time-travel school or superhero school? Probably none of the above,
right? Much of your education revolved around what you HAD to learn rather than what would be fun to learn. I’m
not saying it was bad you were compelled to study subjects you felt ambivalent about. In the long run, it did you
good. But now here’s some sweet news, Virgo: The next ten months will be a favorable time to get trainings and
teachings in what you YEARN to learn. Halloween costume suggestion: a student.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Now is an excellent phase in your cycle to scour bathrooms, scrub floors, shampoo
carpets and wash windows. But the imminent future will be an even more favorable period to purify your moti-
vations, tonify your emotions, purge your less-than-noble agendas, calm down your monkey mind and monkey
heart, disinfect the moldy parts of your past and fact-check the stories you tell about yourself. So which set of
tasks should you focus on? It may be possible to make great strides on the second set as you carry out the first
set. But if there’s not enough time and energy to do both, favor the second set. Halloween costume suggestion: a
superhero who has wondrous cleaning powers; King Janitor or Queen Maid.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “You never sing the same song twice,” said chanteuse Billie Holiday. “If you sing
it with all the same phrasing and melody, you’re failing your art.” That’s an extreme statement, but I understand
what she was driving at. Repeating yourself too much can be debilitating. That includes trying to draw inspiration
from the same old sources that have worked in the past. I suggest you avoid this behavior in the coming days.
Raise Holiday’s approach to a universal principle. Fresh sources of inspiration are available! Halloween costume
suggestion: a persona or character unlike any you’ve ever imagined yourself to be.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): How can you enjoy the lavish thrills of rebirth later unless you die a little
inside now? It’s the trickiest phase of your cycle, when your energies are best used to resolve and graduate from
the unfinished business of the last ten months. I suggest that you put the past to rest as best as you can. Don
your funniest sad face and pay your last respects to the old ways and old days you’ll soon be leaving behind.
Keep in mind that beauty will ultimately emerge from decay. Halloween costume suggestion: the mythical
phoenix, which burns itself down, then resurrects itself from its own ashes.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): There are no such things as magic healings and miraculous redemptions
and impossible breakthroughs. Right? Hard evidence provided by science precludes the existence of exotic
help coming from spiritual realms. Right? Well, no. Not right. There is in fact another real world that overlaps
the material world and it operates according to different laws that are mostly imperceptible to our senses. But
events in the other real world can have tangible effects in the material world. This is especially true for you right
now. Take advantage! Seek practical answers and solutions in your dreams, meditations, visions and numinous
encounters. Halloween costume suggestion: white-magic sorcerer or good witch.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Many years from now, in your last hours on earth, you will have visions that
show you how all the events in your life were crucial to your life story. You will understand the lesson that was
provided by each twist and turn of your destiny. Every piece of the gigantic puzzle will slip into place, revealing
the truth of what your mission has been. And during that future climax, you may remember right now as a time
when you got a long glimpse of the totality. Halloween costume suggestion: the happiest person on Earth; the
sovereign of all you survey; the wise fool who understands yourself completely.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): You might be able to pass for normal, but it will be better for your relationship with
yourself if you don’t. You could try to tamp down your unusual urges and smooth your rough edges, but it will be
smarter to regard those urges and edges as fertile raw material for your future happiness. Catch my drift? In the
coming weeks, your main loyalty should be to your idiosyncratic intelligence. Halloween costume suggestion:
the beautiful, interesting monster who lives in you.
HOMEWORK: Name your greatest unnecessary taboo and how you would violate it if it didn’t hurt anyone.
FreeWillAstrology.com.
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October 26, 2017 • eugeneweekly.com
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