SAVAGE
KRATOM
CUSTOM TATTOOS
SUZEN TATTOOZEN
ERICH SCWARTZWALD
10% OFF
245 VAN BUREN
EUGENE
541-255-2734
1 OZ. OR MORE • WITH THIS COUPON
57 W. BROADWAY 541-687-0139
HUNKY DORY
PIPE & TOBACCO
Eugene’s Largest Selection
Since 1972
541-345-1853
Mon-Sat 10am-8pm • Sun 12pm-6pm
Yahsolait Rose
Licensed Electrologist
Electrolysis - The only FDA approved
permanent hair removal method
Founded 2016 in Pleasant Hill, OR
Your Local Source For High Quality
KRATOM
www.roseelectrolysis.com
541-525-1611
Men, Women, &
Trans Welcome
Located in
South Eugene
Eugene
Midtown Direct
Easy A Market
Willamette St Market
Hunky Dory
GJ’s Smoke Shop
Santa Clara Smoke Shop
Corvallis
Tony’s Smoke Shop
Tri Valley Food Mart
Center Market
Easy A Smoke Shop
ASK ABOUT OUR
FREE CONSULTATIONS
HARD TO DO
BY DAN SAVAGE
LOVE
My brother just broke up with his girlfriend for the second time in eight months. They had been
together for two and a half years, and she became pretty discontent when she finished college and
my brother entered law school because all his time and attention weren’t revolving around her. In
January, she staged this bizarre, soap-opera-esque situation to make my brother jealous, and then
broke up with him when he reacted predictably. (This is not speculation — she admitted to it.) After
the breakup, my brother became a mess of a person — sobbing all the time and talking about her
to anyone and everyone. At the risk of sounding insensitive, he was unbearable. Then, against the
advice of my family, he started talking to her again and they got back together. The second breakup
came after he snooped and found out she had been texting her ex-boyfriend. She was telling that guy
that she was trying to line up her next boyfriend while still dating my brother. They broke up again,
and he’s now back in the same situation. He started back at school yesterday. He almost fucked that
up last time because of her bullshit, and I don’t want to see that happen again. Additionally, I feel bad
this happened — I really do — but I don’t have the time or patience to have the same conversation
with him a million times. It’s exhausting and annoying.
Now Over Brother’s Relationship Obsession
Your brother is an adult. (I mean, presumably he’s an adult — they’re not letting minors into law
school these days, are they?) And since he’s an adult, NOBRO, you can’t stop him from making terrible
choices or the same terrible choice over and over again. But here’s the good news, NOBRO: You’re an adult,
too! And just as you can’t force your brother to stay away from this toxic POS, your brother can’t force you
to converse with him all day long about politics or his POS ex or Game of Thrones turning into Star Trek.
(Suddenly, only characters we don’t care about die on GoT. I half expect to see red shirts on the extras in
season 7.) And if your brother makes the mistake of getting back together with this woman a second time,
your adult ears don’t have to listen to his adult ass complain endlessly about the by-now-predictable
consequences of his terrible choices.
If you’re feeling anxious about conversations you fear being dragged into, NOBRO, let your brother
know you’re done listening to him sob about his ex. “It was idiotic to take her back the first time,” you
could say. “But, hey, we all do idiotic things from time to time, particularly where our love lives are con-
cerned. You would have to be an idiot, however, to take her back a second time. Personally, bro, I don’t
think you should waste another second of your life pining for that manipulative piece of shit. I’m definitely
not wasting another minute of my life discussing her with you. So how about Jon Snow getting out that
frozen lake full of zombies, huh? Apparently hypothermia isn’t a thing in the Seven Kingdoms.”
Dexter
Chevron
WANT TO
Albany
Tri Valley Food Mart
Cottage Grove
Discount Smokes &
Tobacco
Proud Supporter of
Community Market
Open:11am - 4pm
GROW
YOUR
BUSINESS?
For a FREE SAMPLE Call or Text
ADVERTISE WITH THE
EUGENE WEEKLY
541.972.3327
CALL US TODAY
541-484-0519
Sweet Illusions
Nude Hours 12pm-2:15am Daily
LOTTERY-PLATINUM SERIES • CHAMPAGNE ROOM
OUTSIDE SMOKING • DRINKING PATIO
DANCERS AUDITION
Call 541-517-7196
www.sweetillusions.biz
My ex-boyfriend and I were together for a year and a half. He is a silver fox who is significantly
older than me. I was 23 when we met and he was 58. It was supposed to be a fling, but it evolved into
a beautiful romance. But after much consideration (he has a vasectomy and already has four kids
and will be retiring soon), we ended it three months ago. It was heartbreaking, but we made a con-
scious decision to be close friends and talk every day. Out of the blue last week, he asked me if I had
a boyfriend. I don’t, but I was coincidentally about to go on my first date since the breakup. He pro-
ceeded to tell me he “kinda” has a new girlfriend, a woman closer to his age. This was not something
I wanted to hear, which he could tell from the silence that met this disclosure. This conversation ru-
ined my weekend. I have been unable to eat or sleep. The guy I went on a date with was sexy — not
a love connection, but a bangtown prospect — but I was too emotionally fucked to do anything with
him. Do I explain these thoughts to my ex? Let time do the healing? Why did my ex feel the need to
tell me about his new girlfriend?
Heartbroken Over New Ex’s Yummy
Your ex told you about his new girlfriend because you two are close friends, right? And close friends
typically confide in each other about their love lives, don’t they? And that’s what you wanted, isn’t it?
Backing up: It’s always inspiring when two people manage to salvage a friendship after their romantic
relationship ends. But it’s not possible — it’s certainly not on anyone’s list of breakup best practices — to
go in an instant from lovers to besties who talk on the phone every day. You got your heart broken, HON-
EY, and only time can cauterize that particular wound. Your reaction to the news that your ex has a new
girlfriend proves your post-breakup friendship wasn’t a “conscious decision” but an ill-advised rush. And
while the physical aspect of your relationship with Mr. Silver Fox ended three months ago, you never got
out of each other’s pants emotionally. (A bruised ego might also be contributing to your inability to eat or
sleep — he got over you faster than you got over him.)
I don’t think you should explain anything to your ex right now, HONEY, because I don’t think you
should talk to your ex for the next six months or so. You need to get on with your life — and getting on that
new guy is a good place to start.
1836 South ‘A’ St., Spfl d • 541-762-1503
Only 5 minutes from campus
(Franklin Blvd turns into South A St.)
Lingerie
25% CLEARANCE
OFF 50% OFF SALE
SELECT
ORGANIC LUBES
RODEOH HARNESS
Adult Shop
290 River Rd | 86784 Franklin Blvd | 720 Garfield
e-adultshop.com - 541.636.3203
I’m a 26-year-old heterosexual female, and I was recently dumped by my boyfriend. He was my
first love and the person I lost my virginity to. We’d been seeing each other for a little over a year. I
had sex with someone else while I was seeing my ex (it was a more casual relationship in the begin-
ning). I wanted more, and I’m not 100 percent sure but think that’s what scared him off. I went into a
depression and started seeing a therapist. This all happened a little more than a month ago. Friends
tell me that the “best way to get over someone is to get under someone else,” but I’m not sure what
to do. I’m pretty sure I’m doing the thing I shouldn’t be doing: holding out hope my ex will decide he
made a horrible decision and want to be with me again. I know it is idiotic to have this hope. Can you
give me some direction?
Don’t Underestimate My Pain
This may not be helpful in the short term, DUMP, but it’s not idiotic to hold out hope your ex will take
you back. It could happen — indeed, it has happened for lots of folks. I have two friends who are married
to men who dumped them, regretted it, and begged to be taken back. The trick, however, is to assume it
won’t happen and make a conscious effort to get on with your life. (And, if necessary, a conscious effort to
get under someone else.) Your boyfriend/first love/first fuck dumped you a little more than a month ago
— you’re allowed, one month and change later, to live in hope of a reconciliation. Odds are good, though,
that it’s a false hope, DUMP, so don’t pass on any solid offers and keep seeing that therapist.
On the Lovecast, parents, talk smart to your kids about sex: savagelovecast.com.
@EUGENEWEEKLY
ITMFA.org
MAIL@SAVAGELOVE.NET • @FAKEDANSAVAGE • THE SAVAGE LOVECAST AT SAVAGELOVECAST.COM
eugeneweekly.com • A ugust 31, 2017
27