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SENSUVA
BY DAN SAVAGE
LOVE
I’m a gay medical student with a medical fetish, and I can’t even open up to my therapist about
this. I think the fetish started when I was young; I was once in the hospital and given a suppository
for a fever. Then one time I was given a Fleet enema. I don’t think the “butt stuff” turned me gay, but
my fetish may stem from the aspect of being controlled. I grew up in a very conservative religious
household. I’ve never been in a relationship, and I don’t know that I could have one while hiding what
turns me on. In my profession, we have to be confident and even sort of “dominant” in our roles as
providers, but underneath I’m incredibly submissive. I didn’t go into medicine for this reason. We
have very strict professional boundaries and ethical expectations, and I have no problem with that.
I expect my job to be very clinical and boring. But outside of work, I feel like my sexual desires need
some kind of outlet.
Dilemma Of Conscience
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“Someone can have one persona at work and another at home,” said Eric the Red, a Florida nurse and
a fellow medical fetishist. “DOC can be confident and dominant at work—his patients need someone con-
fident and dominant to get them through their medical issues—and then find someone to spend his life
with who brings out his submissive side and gives him the balance to make him feel like a whole person.”
In other words, DOC, when you do start dating and having relationships, you’re going to want to be
open about your kinks. They’re nothing to be ashamed of, and there’s no point in hiding your sexual in-
terests from your future partner(s). You want a sex partner who meets your needs, not one you have to
hide your needs from. So long as you keep things professional at work—which shouldn’t be hard, since
it’s being the patient and not the doctor that turns you on—you have nothing to feel conflicted about.
“The one practical problem he will encounter is that since he actually knows how to give a physical, he
may have less patience with fetishists who are not medical professionals in real life and don’t really know
what they are doing,” said Eric. “Over the years, I have trained nonprofessionals who want to play doctor to
give semi-realistic physicals, insert and irrigate catheters, use sounds, and otherwise have enough tech-
nical expertise to do a medical scene that’s realistic enough that I can enjoy being their patient without
screaming, ‘No, that’s not how it’s done!’ He may find himself doing the same.”
The good news?
“DOC won’t have any trouble finding like-minded people,” said Eric. “Medical fetishists are well orga-
nized online; just spend a few minutes on Google and he’ll find them.”
As a 56-year-old, 95-percent-straight woman, I’d like to think all y’all gay men can enjoy blow-
jobs without that dip in the degradation pool straight men always take. Maybe you could gaysex talk
some sense into stupid straight men. On PornHub recently, I watched a fearless young woman use
a dildo five ways and come at least 10 full symphony times. This new generation of women! Impres-
sive! But then I watched an 18-year-old Russian woman with an equally beautiful black American
man. She sucked away on his dick and swallowed 12 times in five minutes! I kept thinking: She’s
gonna get a break now? Maybe a hug? A beer, a joint, a pay raise? Something?!? Nope. She even
apologized for spilling some come at one point. Now I’m SAD. It’s the exact same shit I faced when I
started in ’73. Gaysex talk some sense into stupid straight boys! Y’all gay men do blowjobs without
degradation. Tell straight men how it’s done!
Really Angry Gal Is Needing Gays
There’s nothing inherently demeaning about giving someone a blowjob, and plenty of people—gay,
straight, bi, pan, demi, sapio, etc.—give and receive blowjobs without splashing around in the degrada-
tion pool.
That said, RAGING, gay men are just as likely as straight men to “dip in the degradation pool” when
they’re getting blowjobs—particularly when a blowjob is being filmed. No need to take my word for it:
Head over to the gay aisle at PornHub. You’ll find lots of videos where the guys giving blowjobs are degrad-
ed—called names, roughly handled, made to apologize for come spillage—and you’ll be hard-pressed to
find one in which the word “cocksucker” isn’t tossed around. But don’t feel bad for all those gay cocksuck-
ers, RAGING: For many gay men, the taunts we feared most in high school become the dirty talk that gets
us off in adulthood. As for the video you saw—a Russian interfering with an American erection—there
must have been breaks that were edited out (no guy can come 12 times in five minutes), so hugs, beers,
and joints may have been made available when the cameras weren’t running.
I have a phone-sex kink, and I got Tinder to explore that. I tell guys it won’t get physical and that
I’m interested only in text play and photo swapping. I matched with a cute, kinky guy, and I have
been playing with him mostly over text for about two years. The issue is that I found out recently
that he’s engaged. I’m pretty conflicted about this. He says that sex with her is good but vanilla and
that she’s unwilling to experiment. He also isn’t comfortable sharing his kinks with her. I understand
that some people have a hard time reconciling the dirty shit they want to do in bed with the sweet girl
they want to marry, but he seems unwilling to try. Do I cut him off? Is he just doing what he has to do
to make an otherwise good relationship work? Is it okay of him if she never finds out and everyone
is happy?
Playing Hurtful Over Text Only?
The odds that your sext buddy’s wife will never find out are slim. Spouses snoop, computers and
phones get left open, a dirty message or photo intended for one person (say, you) gets sent to the wrong
person (say, her). If you’re not comfortable playing with someone who is deceiving his girlfriend and/or
wife—if you don’t want the incriminating message his wife inevitably finds to be one intended for or from
you—you should end this, PHOTO.
But it is possible to continue playing/texting/sexting with a semi-clear conscience: He may be doing
what he needs to do to make this relationship work; he’s exploring his kinks without touching another
woman; if this is cheating, it’s cheating lite; etc. Whatever you ultimately decide to do, PHOTO, you should
encourage this guy to open up to his fiancée about his fantasies and kinks. It’s exhausting to spend your
life with someone you have to hide from—exhausting and rarely successful. If he doesn’t want the truth
to end his marriage, he needs to tell her the truth now. Engagements are easily called off, marriages less
so.
ITMFA UPDATE: We want to send tasteful ITMFA American flag lapel pins to every member of Congress!
Go to ImpeachTheMotherFuckerAlready.com, select a member of Congress, and write a short note ex-
plaining why you want that motherfucker impeached! It costs $15 to send two tasteful pins—and one
unmistakable message—to Congress! All proceeds benefit the ACLU, Planned Parenthood, and the Inter-
national Refugee Assistance Project! Help us flood Congress with ITMFA pins!
On the Lovecast, trans activist Buck Angel: savagelovecast.com.
MAIL@SAVAGELOVE.NET • @FAKEDANSAVAGE • THE SAVAGE LOVECAST AT SAVAGELOVECAST.COM
eugeneweekly.com • July 13, 2017
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