FREE WILL
ASTROLOGY
BY R O B B R E Z S N Y
ARIES (March 21-April 19): My astrological radar suggests there’s a space-time anomaly looming just ahead
of you. Is it a fun and exotic limbo where the rules are flexible and everything’s an experiment? That might be
cool. Or is it more like an alien labyrinth where nothing is as it seems, you can hear howling in the distance, and
you barely recognize yourself? That might be weird. What do you think? Is it worth the gamble? If so, full speed
ahead. If not, I suggest a course correction.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Someone on Reddit.com asked readers to respond to the question, “What is the
most liberating thought you’ve ever had?” Among the replies were the following six: 1. “If new evidence presents
itself, it’s okay to change my beliefs.” 2. “I get to choose who’s in my life and who isn’t.” 3. “I am not my history.”
4. “You can’t change something that has already happened, so stop worrying about it.” 5. “I am not, nor will I ever
be, conventionally beautiful.” 6. “I don’t have to respond to people when they say stupid s--- to me.” I hope these
testimonies inspire you to come up with several of your own, Taurus. It’s a perfect time to formulate liberating
intentions.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): It has been a while since I told you that I love you. So I’m doing it now. I LOVE YOU.
More than you could ever imagine. And that’s why I continue to offer these horoscopes to you free of charge, with
no strings attached. That’s why I work so hard to be a playful therapist and an edgy mentor for you. That’s why I
am so tenacious in my efforts to serve you as a feminist father figure and a kindly devil’s advocate and a sacred
cheerleader. Again, I don’t expect anything in return from you. But if you would like to express your appreciation,
you could do so by offering a similar type of well-crafted care to people in your own sphere. Now would be an
excellent time to give such gifts.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): “I like the word ‘bewilderment’ because it has both ‘be’ and ‘wild’ in it,” says
poet Peter Gizzi. I propose that you go even further, Cancerian: Express a fondness for the actual experience of
bewilderment as well as the word. In fact, be willing to not just tolerate, but actually embrace the fuzzy blessings
of bewilderment. In the coming weeks, that’s your ticket to being wild in the healthiest (and wealthiest) ways. As
you wander innocently through the perplexing mysteries that make themselves available, you’ll be inspired to
escape formalities and needless rules that have kept you overly tame.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Are you familiar with psychologist Carl Jung’s concept of the shadow? It’s the unflat-
tering or uncomfortable part of you that you would prefer to ignore or suppress. It’s the source of behavior about
which you later say, “I wasn’t acting like myself.” Jungians say that the shadow hounds you and wounds you to
the degree that you refuse to deal with it. But if you negotiate with it, it leads you to beautiful surprises. It prods
you to uncover riches you’ve hidden from yourself. I mention this, Leo, because any shadow work you do in the
coming weeks could generate rather spectacular breakthroughs.
I Saw You
I T ’ S F R E E T O P L AC E A N I S AW YO U ! E M A I L : I S AW YO U @ E U G E N E W E E K LY.C O M
I S AW YOU
I AM INCREDIBLY ATTRACTED TO YOU.
MONTESSORI TEACHER,
A S-HAM-ED
You seem beautiful both inside and out.
When I see you (even if just briefly) I’m
filled with joy. ~Un beso
mom, Country Fair goer, and daughter of
Florida teaching “M”. Would love to catch up
on your free, single, and ready to mingle
mom. My treat at Oakway ctr Starbucks
10a.m. on 25th for you and family Thanks.
F.
To the someone’s who like
SOUP KETTLES
You stole from the poor and
specially-abled.
What does that make you?
D’ ARBRE
nuance from-age
essayer dimanche
LIBRARY
If you noticed me, noticing you, noticing me
as you strolled by me and you would like to
notice each other more, let me know!
LOOKING FOR ST
DONATIONS FOR WHITE BIRD
.. We were talking a bit around the holidays.
If you see this, I lost your email address.
Please write me! P
Still being accepted at the EW Office.
Thank you to those who have given!
MEGA HANDSOME GUY AT STARBUCKS -
HAVE I TOLD YOU LATELY?
— soul twitcher, more than my arms
stretched wide?
10:30ish Saturday
Sitting at a high table.
Neck tribal tattoo.
Hair with a few streaks of blonde.
So very handsome!
Enjoy your weekend.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You could make a vow like this: “Between now and April 15, I will be relentless in
getting my needs met. I will harbor a steely resolve to call on every ploy necessary to ensure that my deepest
requirements are not just gratified, but satiated to the max. I will be a dogged and ferocious seeker of absolute
fulfillment.” If you want to swear an oath like that, Virgo, I understand. But I hope you will try a softer approach —
more like the following: “Between now and April 15, I will be imaginative and ingenious in getting my needs met.
I will have fun calling on every trick necessary to ensure that my deepest requirements are playfully addressed.
I will be a sweet seeker of unpredictable fulfillment.”
TO MY AIDE. GEME HERO
I was stranded and cold in my socks and
my boots.
You brought a breath of fresh air, Ray’s
shine,
AAA rocks! Shared a heart for saving my
Mario cart.
Cheers, Tired Art to Big B’s
a photo sharing space
@northwesternbelle
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): How would Buddha ask for a raise or promotion? How would Jesus tinker with his
career plans as he took into consideration large-scale shifts in the economy? How would Confucius try to infuse
new approaches and ideas into the status quo of his work environment? Ruminate deeply on these matters,
dear Libra. Your yearning to be more satisfyingly employed may soon be rewarded — especially if you infuse
your ambitions with holy insight. How would Joan of Arc break through the glass ceiling? How would Harriet
Tubman deal with the inefficiencies caused by excess testosterone? How would Hildegard of Bingen seek more
emotional richness on the job?
Good day, sunshine. #nofil-
terneeded #realoregon #pnwon-
derland #eugeneoregon #rid-
gelinetrail #natureastherapy
#hikeoregon #ewexposure
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): I suspect you would benefit from acquiring a new bedroom name, my dear.
But should I be the one to give it to you? I’m not sure. Maybe you could invite a practical dreamer you adore to
provide you with this crazy sweet new moniker. If there is no such person to do the job (although given the cur-
rent astrological omens, I bet there is), I’ll offer the following array of amorous aliases for you to choose from:
Wild Face … Kiss Genius … Thrill Witch…. Freaky Nectar …. Boink Master …. Lust Moxie …. Pearly Thunder
…. Peach Licker …. Painkiller …. Silky Bliss …. Slippery Diver …. Swoon Craver.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Soon I’ll be off on my first vacation in 18 months. At first glance it might
seem odd for an astrologer like myself to have selected two Sagittarians to be my housesitters. Members of
your sign are reputed to be among the least home-nurturing people in the zodiac. But I’m confident that by the
time I return, raccoons won’t be living in my kitchen, nor will my plants be dead or my snailmail stolen or my TV
broken. The current astrological omens suggest that most of you Centaurs, at least for the foreseeable future,
will display an uncommon aptitude for the domestic arts.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The near future will be mutable, whimsical and fluky. It’ll be serendipitous,
mercurialand extemporaneous. You should expect happy accidents and lucky breaks. Your ability to improvise
will be quite valuable. Do you believe in lucky numbers? Even if you don’t, yours will be 333. Your sacred pass-
word will be “quirky plucky.” The cartoon characters with whom you will have most in common are Bugs Bunny
and Roadrunner. The place where you’re most likely to encounter a crucial teaching is a threshold or thrift shop.
Your colors of destiny will be flecked and dappled. (P.S.: I suspect that an as-yet-undiscovered talisman of power
is crammed in a drawer full of junk.)
Use the hashtag
#ewexposure
for a chance to be featured in EW.
WIGGLY TAILS DOG RESCUE
Helping abandoned and surrendered dogs fi nd their forever homes
Buster this little fl uffy ball is a 2 yr old, 12lb Terrier Mix.
He is a little shy right at fi rst but warms up quickly, he is
good with dogs both big and small as well as cats. Buster is
working on his basic training but will need continued support
and structure warehouse training is concerned but does fi ne
in a kennel. If you would like more information please email
wigglytailsdogrescue@yahoo.com.
Buddy is a
very sweet
and endearing
young man.
He is excited to
meet just about
everyone he
comes across and
loves to cuddle.
Buddy has a hard
time around
other dogs, but doesn’t mind existing around dog-savvy cats.
He is looking for an active home with older kids that can get
him some good daily exercise. After a good workout, Buddy is
happy to fi t as much of his big body in your lap as he can for a
nice snuggle.
www.facebook.com/WigglyTailsDogRescue
Hours: Fri-Tu 11am-6pm • Closed Wednesday & Thursday
treasured sanctuary. Be very choosy about what you allow to enter in to both of those holy places. This strategy
is always a wise idea, of course, but it’s especially so now, when you are extra sensitive to the influences you
absorb. It’s crucial that you express maximum discernment as you determine which foods, drinks, drugs, imag-
es, soundsand ideas are likely to foster your maximum well-being — and which aren’t. Be a masterful caretaker
of your health and sanity.
HOMEWORK: Find a new person or institution you can eagerly and earnestly respect. Report on your triumph
at Freewillastrology.com.
GO TO REALASTROLOGY.COM
CHECK OUT EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES AND DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES.
34
February 23, 2017 • eugeneweekly.com
Everybody deserves a good home
541-689-1503
www.green-hill.org
88530 Green Hill Rd
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Treat your body like a sublime temple, please. And regard your imagination as a
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): What would your best mother do in a situation like this? Please note that I’m not
asking, “What would your mother do?” I’m not suggesting you call on the counsel of your actual mother. When
I use the term “your best mother,” I’m referring to the archetype of your perfect mother. Imagine a wise older
woman who understands you telepathically, loves you unconditionallyand wants you to live your life according
to your own inner necessity, not hers or anyone else’s. Visualize her. Call on her. Seek her blessings.
PET OF THE WEEK!