FREE WILL
ASTROLOGY
BY R O B B R E Z S N Y
ARIES (March 21-April 19): In Norse mythology, Yggdrasil is a huge holy tree that links all of the nine worlds to
each other. Perched on its uppermost branch is an eagle with a hawk sitting on its head. Far below, living near the
roots, is a dragon. The hawk and eagle stay in touch with the dragon via Ratatoskr, a talkative squirrel that runs
back and forth between the heights and the depths. Alas, Ratatoskr traffics solely in insults. That’s the only kind
of message the birds and the dragon ever have for each other. In accordance with the astrological omens, Aries,
I suggest you act like a far more benevolent version of Ratatoskr in the coming weeks. Be a feisty communicator
who roams far and wide to spread uplifting gossip and energizing news.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You have a divine mandate to love bigger and stronger and truer than ever before.
It’s high time to freely give the gifts you sometimes hold back from those you care for. It’s high time to take full
ownership of neglected treasures so you can share them with your worthy allies. It’s high time to madly cultivate
the generosity of spirit that will enable you to more easily receive the blessings that can and should be yours. Be
a brave, softhearted warrior of love!
I Saw You
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I love and respect Tinker Bell, Kermit the Frog, Shrek, Wonder Woman, SpongeBob
I T ’ S F R E E T O P L AC E A N I S AW YO U ! E M A I L : I S AW YO U @ E U G E N E W E E K LY.C O M
SquarePants, Snow White, Road Runner and Calvin and Hobbes. They have provided me with much knowledge
and inspiration. Given the current astrological omens, I suspect that you, too, can benefit from cultivating your
relationships with characters like them. It’s also a favorable time for you to commune with the spirits of Harriet
Tubman, Leonardo da Vinci, Marie Curie or any other historical figures who inspire you. I suggest you have
dreamlike conversations with your most interesting ancestors, as well. Are you still in touch with your imaginary
friends from childhood? If not, renew acquaintances.
Thank you for helping me with our heater. I
always look forward to you stopping by,
wonder if you’ll see this.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): “I never wish to be easily defined,” writes Cancerian author Franz Kafka. “I’d rather
I GAVE YOU A SMOKE AT BLACK FOREST
float over other people’s minds as something fluid and non-perceivable; more like a transparent, paradoxically
iridescent creature rather than an actual person.” Do you ever have that experience? I do. I’m a Crab like you,
and I think it’s common among members of our tribe. For me, it feels liberating. It’s a way to escape people’s ex-
pectations of me and enjoy the independence of living in my fantasies. But I plan to do it a lot less in 2017, and
I advise you to do the same. We should work hard at coming all the way down to earth. We will thrive by floating
less and being better grounded; by being less fuzzy and more solid; by not being so inscrutable, but rather more
knowable.
I S AW YOU
BUILDING MAINTENANCE
You asked to buy a cigarette from me, but I
just gave you one because you were so
good looking. Happy New Year!
MY ANGLE
TUES AM AT STARBUCKS -
People hate you but
Cats don’t so it’s a good thing
That I am a cat
Meow happy birthday
You were the gorgeous woman pulling out
of the drive through as I was getting out of
my car going in. Our eyes met and as I
watched you pull out in your VW and you
rolled down your window and looked back
as we traded glances again. Coffee?
RADIO
Listening to them talk about liars thinking
of you. Once a person lies don’t they realize
nobody ever believes a word they say
again? Man it hit home. It was you to a tee.
JITTERBUG CELL PHONE
THE ONLY REASON
We were at the Key Bank downtown last
week. You made a remark about Jitterbug
Cell phone that made me snort. You were
surprised that I got it. You very handsome
and I hope that I see you again soon!
I can think of why 2017 won’t suck is
because you are there by my side. I love
you babe.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Here’s my declaration: “I hereby forgive, completely and permanently, all motorists who
have ever irked me with their rude and bad driving. I also forgive, totally and forever, all tech support people who
have insulted me, stonewalled me, or given me wrong information as I sought help from them on the phone. I
furthermore forgive, utterly and finally, all family members and dear friends who have hurt my feelings.” Now
would be a fantastic time for you to do what I just did, Leo: Drop grudges, let go of unimportant outrage and issue
a blanket amnesty. Start with the easier stuff — the complaints against strangers and acquaintances — and
work your way up to the allies you cherish.
NO LINE AT THE POST OFFICE
Tue downtown post office - i got in line
behind you. of course there was like no line
at the post office... imagine. You - long
brown hair, grey/dark coat, sharp black
boots(?) gorgeous and Stunning... me -
red hoody, couple packages, WIDE eyed
and likely stunned looking. how about
some decaf?
a photo sharing space
@rowdy69
Majestic Snow Beast #rowdy69
#adoptdontshop #mypitbullis-
family #ewexposure #eugeneo-
regon
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): There are some authors who both annoy me and intrigue me. Even though I feel
allergic to the uncomfortable ideas they espouse, I’m also fascinated by their unique provocations. As I read
their words, I’m half-irritated at their grating declarations, and yet greedy for more. I disagree with much of what
they say, but feel grudgingly grateful for the novel perspectives they prod me to discover. (Nobel Prize-winner
Elias Canetti is one such author.) In accordance with the current astrological rhythms, Virgo, I invite you to seek
out similar influences — for your own good!
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Now would be an excellent time to add new beauty to your home. Are there works
of art or buoyant plants or curious symbols that would lift your mood? Would you consider hiring a feng shui
consultant to rearrange the furniture and accessories so as to enhance the energetic flow? Can you entice visits
from compelling souls whose wisdom and wit would light up the place? Tweak your imagination so it reveals
tricks about how to boost your levels of domestic bliss.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In 2017, you will have unprecedented opportunities to re-imagine, revise and
reinvent the story of your life. You’ll be able to forge new understandings about your co-stars and reinterpret
the meanings of crucial plot twists that happened once upon a time. Now check out these insights from author
Mark Doty: “The past is not static, or ever truly complete; as we age we see from new positions, shifting angles. A
therapist friend of mine likes to use the metaphor of the kind of spiral stair that winds up inside a lighthouse. As
one moves up that stair, the core at the center doesn’t change, but one continually sees it from another vantage
point; if the past is a core of who we are, then our movement in time always brings us into a new relation to that
core.”
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): The Tao Te Ching is a poetically philosophical text written by a Chinese
sage more than two millennia ago. Numerous authors have translated it into modern languages. I’ve borrowed
from their work to craft a horoscope that is precisely suitable for you in the coming weeks. Here’s your high-class
fortune cookie oracle: Smooth your edges, untangle your knots, sweeten your openings, balance your extremes,
relax your mysteries, soften your glare, forgive your doubts, love your breathing, harmonize your longings and
marvel at the sunny dust.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): I recently discovered “Tree of Jesse,” a painting by renowned 20th-century
artist Marc Chagall. I wanted to get a copy to hang on my wall. But as I scoured the internet, I couldn’t find a
single business that sells prints of it. Thankfully, I did locate an artist in Vietnam who said he could paint an
exact replica. I ordered it, and was pleased with my new objet d’art. It was virtually identical to Chagall’s original.
I suggest you meditate on taking a metaphorically similar approach, Capricorn. Now is a time when substitutes
may work as well as what they replace.
Use the hashtag
#ewexposure
for a chance to be featured in EW.
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WIGGLY TAILS DOG RESCUE
Helping abandoned and surrendered dogs fi nd their forever homes
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “It is often safer to be in chains than to be free,” writes Franz Kafka. That fact is
worthy of your consideration in the coming weeks, Aquarius. You can avoid all risks by remaining trapped inside
the comfort that is protecting you. Or you can take a gamble on escaping, and hope that the new opportunities
you attract will compensate you for the sacrifice it entails. I’m not here to tell you what to do. I simply want you
to know what the stakes are.
OREGON HORSE RESCUE
OregonHorseRescue.com
541-520-0371
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “All pleasures are in the last analysis imaginary, and whoever has the best imagi-
nation enjoys the most pleasure.” So said 19th-century German novelist Theodor Fontane, and now I’m passing
his observation on to you. Why? Because by my astrological estimates, you Pisceans will have exceptional
imaginations in 2017 — more fertile, fervent, and freedom-loving than ever before. Therefore, your capacity
to drum up pleasure will also be at an all-time high. There is a catch, however. Your imagination, like everyone
else’s, is sometimes prone to churning out superstitious fears. To take maximum advantage of its bliss-inducing
potential, you will have to be firm about steering it in positive directions.
HOMEWORK: Tell a story about the time Spirit reached down and altered your course in one swoop. Go to
RealAstrology.com and click on “Email Rob.”
Luna is a beautiful
3-year-old Appaloosa
mare standing 14.3
HH. She’s easy to catch,
affectionate, and loves to
be groomed. She’s been
started under saddle and is
coming along well. She’s
an eager learner.
Adoption fee $350.
GO TO REALASTROLOGY.COM
CHECK OUT EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES AND DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES.
26
January 12, 2017 • eugeneweekly.com
OregonHorseRescueAndRehab@gmail.com
Cash, 2yr old 10lb
Chi Mix. This guy is
so sweet and eager
to please, good with
other dogs both big
and small and has
had no issues with
cats. Cash needs an
active family that
can reassure him
that he is loved and
show him what being
a part of a family
really means. He
is kenneled trained
but will need a little
consistency with house training however in return you will
have a life time of puppy kisses.
Email wigglytailsdogrescue@yahoo.com with any questions.
www.facebook.com/WigglyTailsDogRescue