I Saw You
FREE WILL
ASTROLOGY
I T ’ S F R E E T O P L AC E A N I S AW YO U ! E M A I L : I S AW YO U @ E U G E N E W E E K LY.C O M
BY R O B B R E Z S N Y
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Events in the coming week may trick your mind and tweak your heart. They might
mess with your messiah complex and wreak havoc on your habits. But I bet they will also energize your muses
and add melodic magic to your mysteries. They will slow you down in such a way as to speed up your evolution,
and spin you in circles with such lyrical grace that you may become delightfully clear-headed. Will you howl
and moan? Probably, but more likely out of poignant joy, not from angst and anguish. Might you be knocked off
course? Perhaps, but by a good influence, not a bad one.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In the book A Survival Guide to the Stress of Organizational Change, the authors
tell you how to raise your stress levels. Assume that others are responsible for lowering your stress levels, they
say. Resolve not to change anything about yourself. Hold on to everything in your life that’s expendable. Fear the
future. Get embroiled in trivial battles. Try to win new games as you play by old rules. Luckily, the authors also offer
suggestions on how to reduce your stress. Get good sleep, they advise. Exercise regularly. Don’t drink too much
caffeine. Feel lots of gratitude. Clearly define a few strong personal goals, and let go of lesser wishes. Practice
forgiveness and optimism. Talk to yourself with kindness. Got all that, Taurus? It’s an excellent place to start as you
formulate your strategy for the second half of 2016.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Normally I’m skeptical about miraculous elixirs and sudden cures and stupendous
breakthroughs. I avoid fantasizing about a “silver bullet” that can simply and rapidly repair an entrenched problem.
But I’m setting aside my caution as I evaluate your prospects for the coming months. While I don’t believe that a
sweeping transformation is guaranteed, I suspect it’s far more likely than usual. I suggest you open your mind to it.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): As I gaze into my crystal ball and invoke a vision of your near future, I find you com-
muning with elemental energies that are almost beyond your power to control. But I’m not worried, because I also
see that the spirit of fun is keeping you safe and protected. Your playful strength is fully unfurled, ensuring that
love always trumps chaos. This is a dream come true: You have a joyous confidence as you explore and experiment
with the Great Unknown, trusting in your fluidic intuition to guide you.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “You can only go halfway into the darkest forest,” says a Chinese proverb. “Then you are
coming out the other side.” You will soon reach that midpoint, Leo. You may not recognize how far you have already
come, so it’s a good thing I’m here to give you a heads-up. Keep the faith! Now here’s another clue: As you have
wandered through the dark forest, you’ve been learning practical lessons that will come in handy during the phase
of your journey that will begin after your birthday.
CHARNEL MULLIGAN PARK 6/28.
I SAW YOU DJ’S OF EUGENE,
PET SHOUT OUTS
While trying to be tactful and not stare as
you rode your bike I wish I was more bold
when you settled nearby. Me: writing, when
all I wanted was talk with you beyond sim-
ply asking the time...
claiming you would play “House Music”. I
witnessed this over and over again. I’m
tired. Either learn what that music is and
play it or list what you’re really playing so
that I don’t waste my time.
will be in our July 28th Pet Issue! If you’d
like to show your BFF some love, contact
the Eugene Weekly office before July 22nd
for more details! office@eugeneweekly.
com
HAD YOU GIVEN ME A SUBTLE NOD,
MY LORD ,
You are my King,
The silver light,
The sole star
I wish upon
Dark wells, deep pools,
my eyes in sleepless nights
Columbus
Wish I saw you.
It wasn’t just the feeling I was after.
I would have been content
to stay up all night
enjoying our friendship.
Love U
or even the finger, I would have at least
known you had noticed. These days, stop-
ping a stranger on the street from a car,
without reason, will result in more bad than
good. But had a man known that the best
no-calorie meal on the planet was available,
reason be damned.
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SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In high school I was a good athlete with a promising future as a baseball player.
But my aspirations were aborted in sophomore year when the coach banished me from the team. My haircut and
wardrobe were too weird, he said. I may have been a skillful shortstop, but my edgy politics made him nervous
and mad. At the time I was devastated by his expulsion. Playing baseball was my passion. But in retrospect I was
grateful. The coach effectively ended my career as a jock, steering me toward my true callings: poetry and music
and astrology. I invite you to identify a comparable twist in your own destiny, Scorpio. What unexpected blessings
came your way through a seeming adversary? The time is ripe to lift those blessings to the next level.
Billy Clotere
Broker
I Will Listen Closely
Give Honest Feedback
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): After an Illinois man’s wife whacked him in the neck with a hatchet, he didn’t
hold a grudge. Just the opposite. Speaking from a hospital room while recovering from his life-threatening wound,
Thomas Deas testified that he still loved his attacker, and hoped they could reconcile. Is this admirable or pathetic?
I’ll go with pathetic. Forgiving one’s allies and loved ones for their mistakes is wise, but allowing and enabling
their maliciousness and abuse should be taboo. Keep that standard in mind during the coming weeks, Aquarius.
People close to you may engage in behavior that lacks full integrity. Be compassionate but tough-minded in your
response.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Can water run uphill? Not usually. But there’s an eccentric magic circulating in your
vicinity, and it could generate phenomena that are comparable to water running uphill. I wouldn’t be surprised,
either, to see the equivalent of stars coming out in the daytime. Or a mountain moving out of your way. Or the trees
whispering an oracle exactly when you need it. Be alert for anomalous blessings, Pisces. They may be so different
from what you think is possible that they could be hard to recognize.
HOMEWORK: Imagine that thanks to scientific breakthroughs and good luck, you’re alive in 2096. What’s your
life like? FreeWillAstrology.com.
GO TO REALASTROLOGY.COM
CHECK OUT EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES AND DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES.
46
July 7, 2016 • eugeneweekly.com
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SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Do you remember that turning point when you came to a fork in the road of
your destiny at a moment when your personal power wasn’t strong? And do you recall how you couldn’t muster
the potency to make the most courageous choice, but instead headed in the direction that seemed easier? Well,
here’s some intriguing news: Your journey has delivered you, via a convoluted route, to a place not too far from that
original fork in the road. It’s possible you could return there and revisit the options — which are now more mature
and meaningful — with greater authority. Trust your exuberance.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): I love writing horoscopes for you. Your interest in my insights spurs my creativity
and makes me smarter. As I search for the inspiration you need next, I have to continually reinvent my approach to
finding the truth. The theories I had about your destiny last month may not be applicable this month. My devotion
to following your ever-shifting story keeps me enjoyably off-balance, propelling me free of habit and predictability.
I’m grateful for your influence on me! Now I suggest that you compose a few thank-you notes similar to the one I’ve
written here. Address them to the people in your life who move you and feed you and transform you the best.
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VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): My devoted contingent of private detectives, intelligence agents, and psychic sleuths
is constantly wandering the globe gathering data for me to use in creating your horoscopes. In recent days, they
have reported that many of you Virgos are seeking expansive visions and mulling long-term decisions. Your tribe
seems unusually relaxed about the future, and is eager to be emancipated from shrunken possibilities. Crucial in
this wonderful development has been an inclination to stop obsessing on small details and avoid being distracted
by transitory concerns. Hallelujah! Keep up the good work. Think BIG! BIGGER! BIGGEST!
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): After years of painstaking research, the psychic surgeons at the Beauty and Truth Lab
have finally perfected the art and science of Zodiac Makeovers. Using a patented technique known as Mythic Gene
Engineering, they are able to transplant the planets of your horoscope into different signs and astrological houses
from the ones you were born with. Let’s say your natal Jupiter suffers from an uncongenial aspect with your Moon.
The psychic surgeons cut and splice according to your specifications, enabling you to be re-coded with the destiny
you desire. Unfortunately, the cost of this pioneering technology is still prohibitive for most people. But here’s
the good news, Libra: In the coming months, you will have an unprecedented power to reconfigure your life’s path
using other, less expensive, purely natural means.
TONY
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Glory and
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precious sister
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Napping,
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