FREE WILL
ASTROLOGY
BY R O B B R E Z S N Y
ARIES (March 21-April 19): “The past lives on in art and memory,” writes author Margaret Drabble, “but it is not
static: it shifts and changes as the present throws its shadow backwards.” That’s a fertile thought for you to medi-
tate on during the coming weeks, Aries. Why? Because your history will be in a state of dramatic fermentation. The
old days and the old ways will be mutating every which way. I hope you will be motivated, as a result, to rework the
story of your life with flair and verve.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “Critics of text-messaging are wrong to think it’s a regressive form of communication,”
writes poet Lily Akerman. “It demands so much concision, subtlety, psychological art -- in fact, it’s more like pulling
puppet strings than writing.” I bring this thought to your attention, Taurus, because in my opinion the coming weeks
will be an excellent time for you to apply the metaphor of text-messaging to pretty much everything you do. You
will create interesting ripples of success as you practice the crafts of concision, subtlety, and psychological art.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): During my careers as a writer and musician, many “experts” have advised me not
to be so damn faithful to my muse. Having artistic integrity is a foolish indulgence that would ensure my eternal
poverty, they have warned. If I want to be successful, I’ve got to sell out; I must water down my unique message
and pay homage to the generic formulas favored by celebrity artists. Luckily for me, I have ignored the experts. As
a result, my soul has thrived and I eventually earned enough money from my art to avoid starvation. But does my
path apply to you? Maybe, maybe not. What if, in your case, it would be better to sell out a little and be, say, just 75
percent faithful to your muse? The next 12 months will be an excellent time for you to figure this out once and for
all.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): My meditations have generated six metaphorical scenarios that will symbolize the
contours of your life story during the next 15 months: 1. A claustrophobic tunnel that leads to a sparkling spa. 2. A
19th-century Victorian vase filled with 13 fresh wild orchids; 3. An immigrant who, after tenacious effort, receives
a green card from her new home country. 4. An eleven-year-old child capably playing a 315-year-old Stradivarius
violin. 5. A menopausal empty-nester who falls in love with the work of an ecstatic poet; 6. a humble seeker who
works hard to get the help necessary to defeat an old curse.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Joan Wasser is a Leo singer-songwriter who is known by her stage name Joan As Police
Woman. In her song “The Magic,” she repeats one of the lyric lines fourteen times: “I’m looking for the magic.” For
two reasons, I propose that we make that your mantra in the coming weeks. First, practical business-as-usual will
not provide the uncanny transformative power you need. Nor will rational analysis or habitual formulas. You will
have to conjure, dig up, or track down some real magic. My second reason for suggesting “I’m looking for the magic”
as your mantra is this: You’re not yet ripe enough to secure the magic, but you can become ripe enough by being
dogged in your pursuit of it.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Renowned martial artist Bruce Lee described the opponent he was most wary of: “I fear
not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.” In
my astrological opinion, you should regard that as one of your keystone principles during the next 12 months. Your
power and glory will come from honing one specific skill, not experimenting restlessly with many different skills.
And the coming weeks will be en excellent time to set your intention.
I Saw You
I T ’ S F R E E T O P L AC E A N I S AW YO U ! E M A I L : I S AW YO U @ E U G E N E W E E K LY.C O M
D AT I N G S E R V I C E S
I SAW YOU ALL
J. THIS IZ H.
*A PLEASANT SURPRISE*
But when I could feel your love, I’ve been
improving ever since. Don’t let me down,
Eugene.
I hope I can find U. Itz O.K. 4 worlds 2 col-
lide. I Need, Want, Hope, Pray, Repeat. U?. C
U Soon. H.
Sensuality? Foot Fetish? Soft skin, great
scent, pretty feet & the perfect touch.
Attractive, slow hand, classy & attentive.
Awaiting your call. 541-870-6127 Tia. Gladly
travel. Professional men only. No blocked
calls. Notice Appreciated
I SAW YOU
M. I SAW YOU
Normal is nice, looking for that special pal,
find me behind a metal gate on N. Gate
Creek, but be quick for I am leaving.
sitting by yourself locked up in that cute
little room they call a prison cell, contem-
plating life and thinking about your baby
belles. I just want you to know I’m thinking
about you and have faith in you and will
always be your best friend. J.
I SAW YOU:
I S AW YOU
420 BLAIR BLVD.
Beautiful Sundress
Supa Fly Whip
Just ridin’ bye
Summa Soulstice
Ramadan!!!
ADMIRAL
Guten morgen. Each day’s a day trip with
you. Every eve, an adventure (in space). If I
were ship wreck’d I’d like it to be with you.
XO Minnow
I JUST WANNA HANG OUT
@ Crater Lake Zipline
Facing your fears and taking the plunge.
Soaring and sailing through the trees-
a huge smile on your face.
Two fathers were smiling down from heav-
en that day.
I SAW YOU...
remember... 4th grade still innocent. I saw
you high school... what a beautiful smile! I
saw you at Safeway us surfing life’s jour-
ney... still such beautiful smile! I saw you
pick me up that day we made a choice to
care,trust and surf together. Today I see
you and my heart speeds up still so beauti-
ful... Happy Birthday I love you... Tantrum
and talk with you. We get along famously!
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): To celebrate my birthday, I’m taking time off from dreaming up original thoughts and
creative spurs. For this horoscope, I’m borrowing some of the BOLD Laws of author Dianna Kokoszka. They are
in sweet alignment with your astrological omens for the next 13 months. Take it away, Dianna. 1. Focus on the
solution, not the problem. 2. Complaining is a garbage magnet. 3. What you focus on expands. 4. Do what you have
always done, and you will get what you have always gotten. 5. Don’t compare your insides to other people’s out-
sides. 6. Success is simple, but not easy. 7. Don’t listen to your drunk monkey. 8. Clarity is power. 9. Don’t mistake
movement for achievement. 10. Spontaneity is a conditioned reflex. 11. People will grow into the conversations
you create around them. 12. How you participate here is how you participate everywhere. 13. Live your life by
design, not by default.
by @echoecho1985
#vigil #weareorlando
#nohate #lovewins
#pride #oregonproud
#toogreatforhate
#ewexposure
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): The royal courts of Renaissance England often employed professional fools
whose job it was to speak raw or controversial truths with comedic effect. According to the Royal Shakespeare
Company, Queen Elizabeth once castigated her fool for being “insufficiently severe with her.” The modern-day
ombudsman has some similarities to the fool’s function. He or she is hired by an organization to investigate
complaints lodged by the public against the organization. Now would be an excellent time for you to have a fool or
ombudsman in your own sphere, Sagittarius. You’ve got a lot of good inklings, but some of them need to be edited,
critiqued, or perhaps even satirized.
Use the hashtag
#ewexposure
for a chance to be featured in EW.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Capricorn journalist Katie Couric is a best-selling author who has interviewed
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “The water cannot talk without the rocks,” says aphorist James Richardson. Does
that sound like a metaphor you’d like to celebrate in the coming weeks? I hope so. From what I can tell, you will be
like a clean, clear stream rippling over a rocky patch of riverbed. The not-really-all-that-bad news is that your flow
may feel erratic and jerky. The really good news is that you will be inspired to speak freely, articulately, and with
creative zing.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Every now and then you may benefit from being a bit juvenile, even childlike. You
can release your dormant creativity by losing your adult composure and indulging in free-form play. In my astro-
logical opinion, this is one of those phases for you. It’s high time to lose your cool in the best possible ways. You
have a duty to explore the frontiers of spontaneity and indulge in I-don’t-give-a-cluck exuberance. For the sake of
your peace-of-soul and your physical health, you need to wriggle free of at least some of your grown-up responsi-
bilities so you can romp and cavort and frolic.
HOMEWORK: What experience do you deny yourself even though it would be good for you and wouldn’t hurt
anyone? Write a note giving yourself permission. Share at Truthrooster@gmail.com.
GO TO REALASTROLOGY.COM
CHECK OUT EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES AND DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES.
30
June 23, 2016 • eugeneweekly.com
TWISTY FUCKED
Dear friend I passed by you the other after-
noon but as well as you remember I’m shy.
I was overcome with emotions. sorry for
embarrassing you in front of you’re new
family. I’m confused about how to be able to
trust you after you hated on me. Please
don’t forget me my heart never stops hop-
ing!
a photo sharing space
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): No pressure, no diamond. No grit, no pearl. No cocoon, no butterfly. All these clichés
will be featured themes for you during the next 12 months. But I hope you will also come up with fresher ways to
think about the power and value that can be generated by tough assignments. If you face your exotic dilemmas
and unprecedented riddles armed with nothing more than your culture’s platitudes, you won’t be able to tap into
the untamed creativity necessary to turn problems into opportunities. Here’s an example of the kind of original
thinking you’ll thrive on: The more the growing chamomile plant is trodden upon, the faster it grows.
five American presidents and had prominent jobs at three major TV networks. What’s her secret to success? She
has testified that her goal is to be as ingratiating and charming as she can be without causing herself to throw up. I
don’t often recommend this strategy for you, but I do now. The coming weeks will be prime time for you to expand
your web of connections and energize your relationships with existing allies by being almost too nice. To get what
you want, use politeness as your secret weapon.
TO THE TWO YOUNG MEN
I saw in Wal-Mart’s customer service area,
W 11th. I was the old bat in the motorized
cart; I mistook what I saw. I thought I was
seeing NRE, I had not heard about Orlando.
My profoundest apologies.
WIGGLY TAILS DOG RESCUE
Helping abandoned and surrendered dogs fi nd their forever homes
Trinity is
a tiny little
sweetheart
ready for love.
She weighs
about 5 lbs., is
about 4 years
old and would
love a home
of her own. She’s friendly with other dogs, but could
be an only dog. She ignores cats and is pretty mellow.
She would do best in a home without small children and
would love a person to cuddle with. Let’s fi nd Trinity the
forever home she deserves!
Foster homes & volunteers are always needed!
Please contact us through our Facebook page.
www.facebook.com/WigglyTailsDogRescue
Here stands Sheldon,
a dark black cat with
illuminated eyes.
Loyal like a dog, this
illustrious snuggler
is unsure about
other cats probably
because he yearns for
undivided attention
from people. Visit
Sheldon at S.A.R.A.’s
Treasures and say
hello, he will respond
enthusiastically by
meowing and rubbing
his face on your hands.
871 River Road • 607-8892 • Open Everyday 10-6
www.sarastreasures.org