LET TERS
information, go to oregoncape.org.
Rachel Rich
Eugene
A QUIET ZONE
The city of Eugene is seeking input
from citizens regarding its plans to silence
train horns in Eugene.
One of the primary issues in planning
is how to change current street crossings
to be compatible with federal rules for
establishing the quiet zone. The current
plan calls for a combination of medians,
quad gates, one road closure and other
modifications.
Citizens are asked to give feedback on
the city’s plan on their webpage at goo.gl/
UCBVbB.
Please let the city of Eugene know
you support the creation of a quiet zone
sooner than later by signing the petition at
eugenequietzone.com.
David A. Caruso
Eugene
EULOGY FOR A TREE
I savored the gentle spring air as it
caressed me on my last night of life. The
moon was a thin crescent which soon
set, the rest of the night dark with stars. I
trembled with excitement of a springtime
unfolding, anticipating another bright
summer tall and proud under the sun.
Too soon, a faint line began to appear
on the horizon as birds sang their morning
LIVING OUT!
songs to me one more time. The urban
cityscape slowly hummed awake with
its bustle, and dawn broke over the east.
The bright rays of first light hit me as the
woodchipper started its roaring motor. My
arms shook as they were bitten down by
sharp saws.
I stood here over Amazon Creek giving
my gifts for 48 years, and in a few short
hours I was gone.
Mike McFadden
Eugene
THE CHOICE IS SEMPLE
My neighbors in south Eugene have
appreciated Ward 1 City Councilor
George Brown’s support in our work to
protect Eugene homes from speculators’
plans for bulk rezoning around south
Willamette. Large Capstone-like structures
here would also increase traffic on nearby
streets, including Lincoln, Washington and
Friendly.
I recently bumped into Councilor
Brown at The Kiva grocery store. Brown
told me that yes, he was retiring from the
City Council. But he added that a candidate
had stepped forward who he could heartily
endorse for his Ward 1 seat: Democrat
Emily Semple.
Semple has raised a family in
Eugene. She is a gardener who studied
chemistry at Duke and earned a degree in
renewable natural resources at University
of Connecticut. She later studied forest
SHAPES AND SIZES
Respectfully, Grant Roberts (Letters,
“Calorie Counting,” April 7), what “center”
are you referring to? If the bottom line is
your pocketbook, then please disregard
this. If your center includes understanding
what obesity actually is, where it comes
from and how to potentially change that
system, then let us have that conversation.
Let’s talk about quality food availability in
public schools, socioeconomic barriers and
the huge price discrepancies between
wholesome foods and processed foods.
Let’s talk about food and nutritional
education and reintegrating everyday
physical activities into our children’s lives
as preventative measures. Health and
prevention should be the priority, whether it
is smoking or food related. Let's talk about
our own biases, ignorance and judgments
of people’s body shapes and sizes.
’Cause the us vs. them mentality really
doesn’t get us anywhere.
Rebecca Rose
Eugene
SUNSHINE STREK
Stefan Strek brings a fresh spark of
sunshine to Eugene’s mayoral election.
He’s filled with positive energy, he’s a soft-
spoken soul and a real good listener.
Strek has worked for seven years at
Carson Hall Dining at the University
of Oregon. It’s time we had a working-
class person for mayor. Strek has a lot of
empathy for others. He helped out a friend
by paying his fine of $50 for not having his
dog liscensed.
As mayor, Stefan Strek will provide
gentle leadership, which our community
can certainly benefit from.
Misha Seymour
Eugene
BY SALLY SHEK LOW
Chicken Slacks
LEGALLY MARRIED AND NOW LEGALLY RIPPED
O
ff a major thoroughfare, the freshly painted storefront sits at one end of
a well-lit parking lot, next door to a busy Dari Mart. A graying couple
exits their parked Corolla, license plate registration sticker current. They
hold hands, gold wedding bands glinting, as they cross the tarmac and
push open the lobby door. They’re greeted by a friendly receptionist and
ushered into the sales room.
Where are we? This scene could be happening anywhere in America: Just a normal,
law-abiding couple on a normal evening in a normal town. Except this town is in
Oregon where recreational pot can now be bought over the counter in 315 registered
marijuana dispensaries. And who are we? These normal-looking people, legally married
as affirmed by the U.S. Supreme Court, are two big ol’ raging feminist dykes. And they
are us.
“Good evening, ladies, how may I help you?” says a cleancut young fellow in
a bright-blue polo shirt, utterly unfazed by our queerness. I’m too stunned by the
surroundings to bother making this a teachable moment and pointing out just how un-
LADY-like we are. I’m sure he sees all kinds in here. We’d have to be a lot weirder to
be too weird for this place.
Wifey and I give each other the “can-you-believe-this?” look, and proceed to gaze
slackjawed into the shiny display cases, shelves lined with apothecary jars filled with
big fat cannabis buds.
How surreal can it get? Here I’ve been an outlaw since I toked my first joint back in
high school, joined the counterculture and let my freak flag fly. I’ve also been queer as
a three-dollar bill since I came out in college in the 1970s, swore off men and charted a
course as far from the nuclear norm as I could get.
Like the rest of Queer Nation, I’ve been subject to discrimination. Now, suddenly,
I’m in a legal marriage and my wife and I are legally buying weed in a nice store from
nice customer-service professionals. It’s hard to wrap our heads around. Very trippy.
6
ecology at Oregon State University. She is
a widely appreciated Eugene community
activist.
Most importantly, in working with
her over the years, I’ve seen that Semple
understands Eugene’s problems and listens
to neighbors in the Ward 1 area she will
represent.
In contrast, opponents of Semple have
acted in lockstep with policy promoted
by the Chamber of Commerce and Big
Timber. Their record should be looked at
closely. One opponent, for example, has
opposed the city budget for neighborhood
associations and neighborhood newsletters
and has worked to greenwash (that is,
to give an appearance of environmental
acceptability) the Seneca Sawmill
incinerator now polluting Eugene’s
airshed.
For environmental protection, labor
and economic justice, affordable housing
and neighborhood livability, the choice is
Semple.
Ralph McDonald
Eugene
A pril 14, 2016 • eugeneweekly.com
Maybe it’s the fumes. The clerk opens jars so we can sample the rich, resinous
aromas of the various products — Abracadabra, Incrediberry, Sensitiva. He explains
the effects of different strains, the body high of indicas and the cosmic high of sativas.
Talk about kids in a candy shop!
We settle on Bubba Kush, an indica good for overall relaxing, and an indica-sativa
blend called Animal Cookies, for paranoia-free giggles. The clerk uses steel chopsticks
to remove the buds from the jars and pack them into airtight plastic vials. We’re prepared
for the “cash only” transaction, but for those who aren’t, this store even has an ATM.
Back at home I dig out the old water pipe, untouched for god(dess) knows how
many years. Wifey loads it with a plump pinch of Animal Cookies and we fill our lungs.
The smoke is not at all harsh — another plus of these artisanal strains. We adjust the
pillows and get comfy on the homo-sectional. Wifey turns the TV to the music channel,
we agree on an oldies station, turn the lights down and snuggle up.
The indica part of the blend is definitely working. We are re-laaaaaaxed. We sink
into the cushions and become one with the music of our teens. Every song evokes a
story. We tell each other how empowered we’d felt by Lesley Gore’s liberating "You
Don’t Own Me" and how we’d both been politicized by "Eve of Destruction." Nothing
against May-December marriages, but there’s definitely something to be said for being
born the same year as your partner — like coming of age to the same music.
Sam Cooke’s "Twistin’ the Night Away" comes on and we sing along, “Dancing
with the chicken slacks, she’s a’movin’ up and back.”
Wait. Whuuuut? I’d partied and twisted to these lyrics a kazillion times but never
understood them.
“What the heck are chicken slacks?” I wonder aloud. This is where the sativa part
of the blend kicks in. We start guessing what chicken slacks could possibly be. I have a
notepad handy and sketch a chicken in tight pants. Wifey describes feathered trousers,
flapping to the beat. Good thing we peed before we smoked!
Wifey’s laptop within reach, she Googles it. “Chicken slacks” turns out to be one of
those commonly misheard lyrics. It’s really “Dancing with the chick in slacks.” Chick.
In. Slacks. Jeeze.
Any other time I’d probably go on a rant that women are not chicks! But tonight —
who cares? Wifey and I are having too much fun being a normal old married couple
enjoying a normal evening at home.
Award-winning writer Sally Sheklow and her Wifey live a completely legal life in Eugene, Oregon.