C U LT U R E
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Start out right
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& time tested lighting fi xtures
Kit includes:
BioBizz® Starter Pack & 4 7-gallon Smart Pots ®
2 DTE Pro Organic Mix Soil 2.5 cuft
Trifecta Ballast Bulb with Refl ector
Bring your receipt from
to receive a free gift
with your purchase of the above Starter Kit Offer. Valid through October 31st
453 River Ave. Open 7 days 10AM -6PM
WEED OUT YOUR STRAIN
541.688.0028 • vital-organics-northwest.com
Know thyself when searching for the perfect high
K
ermit and I may have broken up, but that doesn’t mean he stopped hooking me
up with the green stuff. In our June Cannabis issue, EW promised to “investigate
(smoke) a range of strains, noting their particular effects on brain and body”
— all provided by Kermit, our go-to producer of medical marijuana.
In classic stoner style, EW smoked and forgot about it. And moi, EW’s most
expensive and sophisticated writer, took the reins in classic Miss Piggy style, because as
of Oct. 1, anyone over 21 with a valid ID can purchase up to a quarter-ounce of marijuana
at medical dispensaries (see “Rolling It Out,” 9/24, for all the details).
Kermie wanted me to remind you of the most important thing when searching for a
perfect high: Know thyself. Are you a jittery little froggy like Kermit? You’ll probably
want to try the Indica strain, generally associated with gentler, more relaxing highs.
Or are you an invincible Wonder Woman like moiself? Steer towards the Sativa strain,
which gives a more uplifting, energetic high and promotes imagination — not that I need
any help.
But maybe you’re more of an idiot like Fozzie Bear, who can smoke anything and still
not be funny, in which case, you don’t need me, you need a professional. Bah! I tease. Try
a hybrid of the two.
On Kermit’s menu first is Alion Hybrid, aka “Snoop’s Cut,” a combo of Master Kush,
Blue Dream and Alien Kush with 75 percent Indica plant and 25 percent Sativa — meant
to produce a “psychoactive euphoria,” according to notes from Kermit, followed by a
sedative body high. Kermie is not so sure about that euphoria, which is why he prefers
Orange Skunk or Grand Daddy Purps. Skunk gives a floaty, frothy high, like “smoking
clouds” — the high is mild and tender and sweet, like the frogman himself. For those
tougher showbiz days, Kermit goes straight to the Purps, the classic strain that melts your
face and helps you sleep and eat — god knows he needs to gain weight.
On to me, finally, and my Sativa-dominant strains! Jack Herer, a strain named after
the late “Emperor of Hemp,” is a splice of Northern Lights and Shiva Skunk. Some say
it’s too strong, but not for formidable me. I found it blissful, beautiful and light and …
and … I forget. Moving on to Blue Dream, a Blueberry and Haze hybrid. I like to smoke
this in the makeup chair when I’m practicing lines; it’s cerebral but lucid, and gives you
a little jolt in the morning.
But my ultimate everyday sticky icky is CBD Kush. It’s like swimming in a warm
pool — mellow, relaxing and helps diffuse pain and spasms. Thank god for Kush after
teetering in these heels all day.
We can’t all be Wonder Woman, so remember, smoke and consume responsibly and
educate yourself. ■
WILLAMETTE VALLEY’S
MOST TRUSTED
MEDICAL MARIJUANA CLINIC
Serving our patients since 2001
LEARN TO MAKE YOUR OWN CANNABIS MEDICINE:
pills, tinctures and edibles
Check out our website
for current changes to the OMMP
www.compassioncenter.net
2055 W. 12th Ave. • 541-484-6558
www.compassioncenter.net
eugeneweekly.com • October 1, 2015
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