So, can you go back to defi ning “things”
for me?
You can’t be in the moment with people.
Michael , 55, single
OPEN REALLY FRIGGIN’ LATE NOON TO 2:30 AM DAILY!
been cheated on?
No. I have been cheated on, but I have
never cheated on anyone.
Have you ever walked in on anyone having
sex or have you been walked in on?
Yeah, probably when I was younger
because everything was open. But when
you have children you tend to be careful
about that sort of stuff.
Do you know what polyamory is?
Yes, my friend is actually a polyamorist. I
actually wanted to do that. But, as it turned
out, my husband decided he wanted it to be
exclusive. Separate relationships. I always
fi gured if I love a man and he loves someone,
then I’m gonna love that person too.
Thunderbird
M
A
R
K
E
T
Devin Hinshaw , 23, in a
relationship
What is the best part about being in a
relationship?
You can do things together.
What is the worst part?
That you can’t do things with other people.
Can you defi ne “things” for me?
Ask me other questions fi rst and maybe I’ll
warm up to it.
What is one of your most memorable
Valentine’s Days?
I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day because I
don’t celebrate any consumer holiday and
most American holidays are consumer
holidays. Every day should be love day.
Have you ever cheated on someone or
been cheated on?
Yes. I don’t want to go further.
Have you ever walked in on someone
having sex or been walked in on?
Oh yeah, that’s a funny story. Well, I’ve
defi nitely walked in on a group session.
My roommates, all of them, high on drugs
rolling around naked on the fl oor.
How did it start?
Yeah, they took some designer drug and
got them really in the mood, I guess.
Do you know what polyamory is?
Polyamory is when you can have multiple
people, or being open enough to
communicate with multiple people to have
sex with multiple people.
Hi sir, can I ask you a few questions?
We’re from Eugene Wee...
Eugene, let me tell you about Eugene. Once I
saw this guy in the shower get out and pour
Tabasco sauce on himself and start rubbing
it in and then take syrup and pour it here and
here and then put his jeans back on.
Then you got the guy down at the bus
station with the pink tutu ...
OK, what is the best part about being
single?
Freedom. I’m an alcoholic, I drink heavily
— I’ve been drinking 35 years. A woman
always seems to want you to give up
something. If you love somebody enough
you’ll put up with it. I drink a fi fth of vodka a
day, but that’s just me!
What’s the worst part?
Being lonely and missing the sex. ‘Round
here you can fi nd someone and pay them.
What’s one of your most memorable
Valentine’s Days?
That’s a hard question because I don’t know.
To me, it’s just another day. I haven’t had a
Valentine’s Day with a woman for years.
Have you ever cheated on someone or
been cheated on?
Not really cheated. No, no — every one of
my relationships has been honest enough
to say, “All right, I’m tired of you,” or “I’m
interested in someone else.” But to sneak
around? No, I haven’t. I sleep at a campsite
and have a storage … It’s really hard to have
a relationship when you don’t have stability.
Have you ever walked in on someone
having sex or been walked in on?
Yeah, yeah. College. That’s a good one.
Walk in, walk out and “Excuse me, bye.”
Do you know what polyamory is?
Nope.
Can you guess?
Like polygamy or something? I don’t know.
More interviews at eugeneweekly.com
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