Jolly Jogging Jumpers!
Raid your closets for Oregon’s Ugliest Sweater Run BY SILAS VALENTINO
A
n ugly holiday sweater is like eggnog
and Macaulay Culkin — once a year
they reappear and are enjoyed. “Tis the
season, Marge! We only get 30 sweet
noggy days. Then the government
takes it away again,” Homer Simpson
once pined, and few can match Homer’s lust for the holiday
spirit(s). Except perhaps for one Derek Zinser, the man behind
the inaugural Oregon’s Ugliest Sweater Run 5K on Dec. 15.
Zinser has created multiple races in Eugene including the
’80s-themed Rad Run 5K, Dirty Duck 5K and the Mascots for a
Cure (part of Relay for Life), which brought together 161
unique mascots in one location, just six shy of the world
record. “I’m a huge Christmas dork,” Zinser says. “I love the
’80s, I love my Ducks and now this one.”
Oregon’s Ugliest Sweater Run’s mission is aimed at supplying
two of the largest tinder for the holiday season’s yule log: It’s a
family event and a way to give back to the community. The race
is sponsored by various local businesses, and proceeds go to
FOOD For Lane County, Toys for Tots and the Foster & Adoptive
Parent Association of Lane County. Runners can bring food and
toys to donate, but Zinser is banking on the $5 parking fee. “I’m
hoping people can bring $5 because you can do more with $5
than the food,” he says. “My favorite part about these events is
that it creates wins for everybody.”
The ugly holiday sweater has become an ironic gag these
past few seasons (thank you, hipsters) but they can still
warm the heart both literally and figuratively. “The sweater I
have ... jeez,” Zinser says. “It has ribbons, stockings and
Christmas lights that light up.”
The running event is geared toward creating the most fun,
so if your idea of Track Town is a pizza lunch buffet, have no
fear, you can still enjoy the race. The 3.1-mile run will be split
up every quarter mile into twelve different sections aligning
with one of the holiday’s classic odes.
“We want to do something fun so what’s better than the
‘Twelve Days of Christmas’?” Zinser says. From 11 Eugenean
firefighters bagpiping to three grilled hens, the race will offer
something festive and exciting around each corner, so chin
up, Scrooge. If walking is more your bag, you won’t be alone.
Even the race officials understand how tough running can be.
“No, I actually don’t like to run,” Zinser says. “I hate running,
but I like setting up running events.”
So dust off that sweater you own that would most likely
make a BuzzFeed list, grab a group of friends, bear the cold
and head on down to the park for a day of festivities,
community and holiday cheer. If you’re parched after the race,
put on your best Homer face and join the “Celebrity Eggnog
Chugging Contest” at noon at the 5th Street Public Market. ■
Oregon’s Ugliest Sweater Run starts rain or shine at 10 am Sunday, Dec. 15, at Alton
Baker Park. For more information visit oregonsugliestsweaterrun.com.
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