FREE WILL
ASTROLOGY
BY R O B B R E ZN Y
ARIES (March 21-April 19): In the sci-fi fi lm trilogy The Matrix, the heroes are able to instantaneously acquire
certain complex skills via software that’s downloaded directly into their brains. In this way, the female hacker
named Trinity masters the art of piloting a military M-109 helicopter in just a few minutes. If you could choose a
few downloads like that, Aries, what would they be? This isn’t just a rhetorical question meant for your amuse-
ment. In 2013, I expect that your educational capacity will be exceptional. While you may not be able to add
new skills as easily as Trinity, you’ll be pretty fast and effi cient. So what do you want to learn? Choose wisely.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Are you familiar with the fable of the golden goose? The farmer who owned it be-
came impatient because it laid only one gold egg per day. So he killed it, thinking he would thereby get the big
chunk of gold that must be inside its body. Alas, his theory was mistaken. There was no chunk. From then on, of
course, he no longer got his modest daily treasure. I nominate this fable to be one of your top teaching stories of
2013. As long as you’re content with a slow, steady rate of enrichment, you’ll be successful. Pushing extra hard
to expedite the fl ow might lead to problems.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Here are some of the experiences I hope to help you harvest in the coming year:
growing pains that are interesting and invigorating rather than stressful; future shock that feels like a fun joyride
rather than a bumpy rumble; two totally new and original ways to get excited; a good reason to have faith in a
dream that has previously been improbable; a fresh supply of Innocent Crazy-Wise Love Truth; and access to all
the borogoves, mome raths, and slithy toves you could ever want.
wink
Sullivan includes a piece called “Penance 1962.” It consists of a series of handwritten statements that repeats a
central theme: “I must not look at boys during prayer.” I’m assuming it’s based on her memory of being in church
or Catholic school when she was a teenager. You probably have an analogous rule lodged somewhere in the
depths of your unconscious mind -- an outmoded prohibition or taboo that may still be subtly corroding your life
energy. The coming year will be an excellent time to banish that ancient nonsense for good. If you were Deborah
Sullivan, I’d advise you to fi ll a whole notebook page with the corrected assertion: “It’s OK to look a boys during
prayer.”
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): For years, the gravestone of Irish dramatist Oscar Wilde was covered with kiss-shaped
lipstick marks that were left by his admirers. Unfortunately, Wilde’s descendants decided to scour away all
those blessings and erect a glass wall around the tomb to prevent further displays of affection. In my astrologi-
cal opinion, Leo, you should favor the former style of behavior over the latter in 2013. In other words, don’t
focus on keeping things neat and clean and well-ordered. On the contrary: Be extravagant and uninhibited in
expressing your love for the infl uences that inspire you -- even at the risk of being a bit unruly or messy.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In 2013, I hope to conspire with you to raise your levels of righteous success. If
you’re a struggling songwriter, I’ll be pushing for you to get your music out to more people -- without sacrifi cing
your artistic integrity. If you’re a kindergarten teacher, I’ll prompt you to fi ne-tune and deepen the benevolent
infl uence you have on your students. If you’re a business owner, I’ll urge you to ensure that the product or ser-
vice you offer is a well-honed gift to those who use it. As I trust you can see, Virgo, I’m implying that impeccable
ethics will be crucial to your ascent in the coming year.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): After Libran poet Wallace Stevens won the Pulitzer Prize for Poetry in 1955, Harvard
University offered him a job as a full professor. But he turned it down. He couldn’t bear leaving his day job as the
vice-president of an insurance company in Hartford, Connecticut. I suspect that in the fi rst half of 2013, you will
come to a fork in the road that may feel something like Stevens’ quandary. Should you stick with what you know
or else head off in the direction of more intense and unpredictable stimulation? I’m not here to tell you which is
the better choice; I simply want to make sure you clearly identify the nature of the decision.
WINK-KINK.COM
WOMEN SEEK ING MEN
OLDER MALE ANIMAL
LOVELY, CLEAR, COOL
Tall handsome friendly funny fun loving
looking for a friend to do fun things with
walk and talk get to know each other.
HoundDog, 61, g
Laughter,gentleness.Heart/Soul connec-
tion.Can walk/talk at the same time. Bird
checkin for lifemate. Dance with me slow-
like, let what unfolds unfold. open to out-
comes. 444alma, 56
LET’S GO HIKING!
I’m happiest out of doors. Liking my life of
creativity and friends, but would sure like to
add a honey to the mix. Looking for intelli-
gence, humor, compassion and creativity.
magnolia, 63, g
AT THE BEACH
I run on the beach (weather permitting!)
and practice yoga. Singer, songwriter, per-
cussionist, dancer. Seals at sunset, travel
and hot springs. The natural world always
calls me to return. yaquinalady, 61, %, g
NATURE, TRUTH, CONNECTION
CANCER (June 21-July 22): In her gallery show “Actuality, Reminiscence, and Fabrication,” artist Deborah
Eugene Weekly’s local dating site
I take good care of myself and I appreciate
others that do. I love nature, walking, water,
dancing. I also enjoy traveling. Men gener-
ally like me and find me attractive. sun-
light, 65, %
HAPPY, ENERGETIC, PLAYFUL....
I laugh easily and want someone who can
truly have fun. I enjoy theater, cooking, gar-
dening, dancing and traveling. Looking for
someone spirited and humorous with a
sense of autonomy. Tiny_Dancer, 61
MEN SEEK ING WOMEN
I S AW Y O U
ALPHA QUALITY
I love technology, Old School, ProRodeo
Wranglers, Classic Country, Pickups,
Buckaroo , Western or Country,
Photography, Cooking, Shopping, Movies,
Day Trips, Nature, Camping, I can enjoy
everything. CowboyAmerica, 49, g
TALL HANDSOME STRANGER
I’m a musician. Lover of life. I’m witty,
resourceful. I read, travel, a bluegrass dj on
KRVM. looking for a woman looking for a
faithful man. I tell the truth. hepcat, 64, g
SEEKING INTELLIGENT PLAYMATE
I’m happy and confident. I’m determined to
get the most out of life. I’m seeking a muse
and best friend for inspiration, passion, joy,
cuddly bliss and adventurous travel.
Rhythmseed, 40
TIGERLADY BURNNING BRIGHT
Tigerlady. I’m thinking about you. I’m miss-
ing the fun we had. Some of the best “fun”,
ever! I can still tast you on my fingertips.
Jake When: Wednesday, August 18, 2010.
Where: your house, a while ago. You:
Woman. Me: Man. #902693
SHAMMY TO PALLY
ORGANIC RED ROADIE
Off grid self unemployed Buffalo Warrior.
Ambivalence prone:gregarious recluse,
modern primitive, peaceful warrior. State
Prison monthly sweat volunteer.ISO Post
possessive, self actualizing, sensually
adventurous crone. Attitude counts more
than 50%. farcetwiddler, 58
TREE HUGGER
Nice, thoughtful guy looking for a honey:
someone to share life with, someone to
hike with, someone to cuddle up with,
someone to laugh with. stagehand, 52, g
HONEST, MATURE MALE
I am physically fit, 5í11î, 160 pounds,I walk
and practice yoga daily.I like gardening and
cooking also, along with trips to the ocean.
jeraldk, 74, g
LOOKING FOR MATURE
Looking for woman 50-65+ for a physical
relationship. Very physical. Skinny to aver-
age a +, but not a deal breaker. Married ok.
I love older women! Let me prove it!
Jimmster, 40
FRESH FROM BOSTON
You: short, light brown hair and glasses. You
were checking out at a store in Oakway
Center. We spoke briefly about Trader Joe’s.
You said you just moved from Boston.
When: Wednesday, December 19, 2012.
Where: Bed Bath & Beyond. You: Woman.
Me: Woman. #902694
MEN SEEK ING MEN
I have dreadlocks, you have a rat tail. You
call me beautiful, and I think youre most
handsome. If the Mayans were right, Im
glad we happened. I love you When:
Tuesday, December 18, 2012. Where:
Everywhere. You: Man. Me: Man. #902692
MY PRETEND BOYFRIEND
Don’t see you much. Feel you always. Not
sure why it’s played out like this but I’m
happy 4 our unconventional love story.
Thanks 4 playing along. I adore you. When:
Monday, December 17, 2012. Where: in
your arms. You: Man. Me: Woman.
#902691
GROUCHE SHOW GIRL
I complemented you on your coat/sweater
thing and you were with some guy. Is he
your boyfriend? You are so cute and I really
liked your smile. Are you single? When:
Sunday, December 9, 2012. Where:
Grouch @ wow hall. You: Woman. Me: Man.
#902690
RECENTLY MOVED HERE
Looking for guys to hang out with. Movies,
coffee, restaurant, road trips. Personality
more significant. Let’s connect and see!
SilverBelt, 51, g
FUN AND QUIRKY
TALL ZOMBIE DANCER
I can’t stop thinking of you. I’ll give you
space and time you need, but I want you
back. With time, All shall be well. When:
Tuesday, July 20, 2010. Where: Washburne
Park. You: Woman. Me: Man. #902689
Love to laugh. Bit of a tech geek, but very
much enjoy being social. looking for some-
one share many fun times and conversa-
tions. living consciously, and cuteness are
a plus. dehgeek, 26, g
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In 2013, I will try to help you retool, reinvent, and reinvigorate yourself in every
way that’s important to you. I will encourage you to reawaken one of your sleeping aptitudes, recapture a lost
treasure, and reanimate a dream you’ve neglected. If you’re smart, Scorpio, you will reallocate resources that
got misdirected or wasted. And I hope you will reapply for a privilege or position you were previously denied,
because I bet you’ll win it this time around. Here are your words of power for the year ahead: resurrection and
redemption.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Based on experiments at the Large Hadron Collider, a team of physicists in
France and Switzerland announced last July that they had tentatively discovered the Higgs Boson, which is col-
loquially known as the “God particle.” What’s all the fuss? In her San Francisco Chronicle column, Leah Garchik
quoted an expert who sought to explain: “The Higgs boson is the WD40 and duct tape of the universe, all rolled
into one.” Is there a metaphorical equivalent of such a glorious and fundamental thing in your life, Sagittarius? If
not, I predict you will fi nd it in 2013. If there already is, I expect you will locate and start using its 2.0 version.
Healing
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In 2013, I pledge to help you bring only the highest-quality infl uences and
self-responsible people into your life. Together we will work to dispel any unconscious attraction you might
have to demoralizing chaos or pathological melodrama. We will furthermore strive to ensure that as you deepen
and fi ne-tune your self-discipline, it will not be motivated by self-denial or obsessive control-freak tendencies.
Rather, it will be an act of love that you engage in so as to intensify your ability to express yourself freely and
beautifully.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “Genius is the ability to renew one’s emotions in daily experience,” said French
painter Paul Cezanne. What do you think he meant by that? Here’s one interpretation: Many of us replay the
same old emotions over and over again -- even in response to experiences that are nothing like the past events
when we felt those exact feelings. So a genius might be someone who generates a fresh emotion for each new
adventure. Here’s another possible interpretation of Cezanne’s remark: It can be hard to get excited about con-
tinually repeating the basic tasks of our regular routines day after day. But a genius might be someone who is
good at doing just that. I think that by both of these defi nitions, 2013 could be a genius year for you Aquarians.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Home is not just the building where you live. It’s more than the community that
gives you support and the patch of earth that comforts you with its familiarity. Home is any place where you’re
free to be your authentic self; it’s any power spot where you can think your own thoughts and see with your own
eyes. I hope and trust that in 2013 you will put yourself in position to experience this state of mind as often as
possible. Do you have any ideas about how to do that? Brainstorm about it on a regular basis for the next six
months.
HOMEWORK: To check out Part One of my three-part audio forecasts of your destiny in 2013, go to http://bit.
ly/BigPicture2012.
GO TO REALASTROLOGY.COM
CHECK OUT EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES AND DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES.
THE AUDIO HOROSCOPES ARE ALSO AVAILABLE BY PHONE AT 1˹877˹873˹4888 [LjNj] 1˹900˹950˹7700
34
December 27, 2012 • eugeneweekly.com
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