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Respond to a Wink ad. Visit wink-kink.com and enter the ad ID
Questions? info@wink-kink.com Jayme or Jennifer 541-484-0519
GOT PUSSY?
TANTRIC PLEASURES AWAIT
my name is danielle. i am looking
for a girl or some girls to have
some fun with. if we hit it off
maybe more.!). babyda-
ni1234, 20, g
LONG SLOW KISSING OVER PECKS
EXTENDED EYE GAZING OVER
GAWKING RELAXED MASSAGE
OVER SEXUAL TENSION CANDLES
OVER LIGHTS SPOONS NOT FORKS
COOPERATION OVER CONQUEST
NEVER ENDING FOREPLAY NOT
HURRIED
ORGASMS.
PROFESSOR_OF_
CUNNILLINGUS, 51, g
HORNY AND BORED
moved to the city solo. Bored.
Need a man for playtime. I’ve a
lot of stamina and like fun. I’m in
excellent shape and want some-
one to play playtime. Mtnfun,
38
SEXROOKIE
THAT’S MZBITCH
Dominant woman interested in
submissive man, woman or cou-
ple for discrete play. I adore pain
sluts but abhor brats. Be real, be
truthful, or be on your way.
MzBitch, 46, g
BEAUTIFUL GODDESS MAMA
I am looking to further expand
my sexual experiences and hope
to meet others that might help
me do so. curiositas, 34
DIRTY EVIL MINDED
I’m looking for a lady to have a
little fun with, no strings
attached. I like a curvy womanly
lady with a sense of adventure,
positive attitude and confidence.
beeLuscious, 26
NEED DIRECTION?
I will train you properly without
hurting you. Handsome, profes-
sional. Specialize in younger
trainees who need to be tied to
my bed,brought to the max.
Must love licking,sucking too.
DirectMan, 59
CURIOUS
Bi-curious male, clean, fit, seeks
beautiful boy for first time
encounter. I want to adore your
smooth, lean body. A lot to ask
for? Of course. maxd, 41
SEXUAL, STRONG, REAL
looking for a VERY SUBMISSIVE
beautiful goddess to be my
“almost slave” to rub me all over
and play with me, lick me/touch
me, make me feel good all over!
mamaBLU, 37, g
BODACIOUSBI
24 y/o looking for discreet sexual
encounters. Prefer women who
can tolerate a first-timer at sex.
Liars, thieves, and tyrants need
not concern themselves with me.
Renvalt, 24, g
VIRGINASS SLAVE
Take my Ass cheery makes me ur
bitch/slave host only between
7am-4pm leave me ur number in
ur massage Ill call u. virgin-
gass, 32
I’m not liv n my full potential.
Free time and wasted loads all I
have to offer I’m working
towards sexual athelite. I like
lusty take charge bitches fullfill
my desire. notgod, 32
WANNA GET NAUGHTY?!
Discreet, with lots of dirty fun
and exploring ;-). I am open to
trying anything, I feel without
sex the world wouldnt be fun at
all. need2please, 25
FANTASY TITILLATIONS
Looking for primarily women but
open to all others for email fan-
tasy exchanges regarding
groups that include stories and
scenarios involving all kinds of
titillation. I love the journey!
PeckStrap, 63
CUM ON, LADIES!
Just looking for
Hannahottie, 21
fun!
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WORDS OF PURE WISDOM by Dan Savage
I am a college-age gay male. Last year, I dated two guys. The fi rst—let’s call him Mitt—I dated
for fi ve months. He broke up with me, and it hurt as much as breakups do, but I got over it. A
few months later, I dated another guy—let’s call him Paul—for a month. I really liked him, but he
broke up with me, too. Then I found out that two days after breaking up with me, Paul started
going out with Mitt. They knew I had dated each of them. It was the end of the school year, and
I quickly left for vacation. The school year starts back up soon, and I am still pissed and hurt
that they are dating. Do I have a right to be? Should I just get over myself? Should I just do my
best to avoid them?
Exes Became A Couple
Avoid them for now, EBAC, and get over yourself.
Gays and lesbians are about 2 to 5 percent of the population. I’m afraid that arithmetic
precludes us from hewing to the “bro code”—at least where dating friends-of-exes, exes-of-
friends, or exes-of-exes are concerned. We simply don’t have the luxury of being as rigid about
this shit as straight people do. The pickings for us are just too slim.
But you have a right to your feelings, EBAC, and you should go ahead and feel the shit
out of your pissed-and-hurt feelings. Two guys dated you, both dumped you, and now they’re
dating each other. That’s gotta sting. So avoid your exes for now—why salt your wounds by
hanging out with them?—but resist the urge to go to war with your exes. Don’t trash them
on Facebook, don’t force your friends to choose sides. Smile and nod when you see them on
campus, chat politely if you’re thrown together at parties, and just generally accept their
relationship with as much good grace as you can muster.
Remember: The odds that these guys will be together forever are pretty slim. I’m not sug-
gesting that their more-probable-than-not breakup should delight you, EBAC, only that you
might not want to burn bridges because—college being college, gay men being gay men—you
could wind up dating one or the other or both of these guys again. Or, more likely, you might
want to be friends with one or the other or both of them once your hurt has burned off.
And fi nally, EBAC, ask yourself what you want these guys saying to mutual friends—some
of whom might be gay, some of whom might be into you—if they’re asked about you. Do you
want them to say you revealed yourself to be an angry and vindictive psycho when they got
together? Or do you want them to say that, although you were obviously hurt when they got
together, you were gracious about it, and that while you weren’t the right guy for either of
them, you’re a good guy and the right guy for somebody?
I’m a 26-year-old queer woman. I’m about to visit a friend who used to be my boyfriend and
who has been my lover when we’ve visited each other since. Sex with him is fun for me, but it’s
been life-changing for him. I’m the fi rst person he has ever shared his kinks with: age regres-
sion/diapers/submission. He’s been ashamed of his kinks for most of his life, and I’ve been
completely accepting and have helped him to get over his sense of shame. Playing this role in
my friend’s life is fun, sexy, and meaningful for me. My own tastes, though, are more vanilla.
Some of the things that would be most satisfying to me—cunnilingus, him being a little domi-
nant sometimes, and, honestly, French kissing—have been absent from our sex. He says that he
wants to do for me whatever I want, and I’ve told him what I want as clearly as I just told you.
But he seems to have some kind of a block about actually doing those things. I’ve tried to be
very positive about oral sex and not put pressure on my friend, but rather let him know how
hot it is for me and how fantastic it makes me feel. But so far, he just won’t do it. I’ve also let
him know that I really enjoy kissing with tongue and that it’s pretty much the most arousing
thing for me in the world. But he’s done very little of that, too. He’s aware of the inequality in
what we’ve done for each other and acknowledges that it’s unfair that he’s “gotten away with
it.” Help!
She Misses Tongue
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While I was on vacation last week, sex writer, activist, and feminist pornographer Tristan
Taormino fi lled in for me. Writing the Savage Love Letter of the Day in my absence, Tristan
gave some advice to a woman in a similar situation (kinky partner being treated to fi rst fanta-
sy-fulfi llment experiences neglecting needs of indulgent vanilla partner): “Your boyfriend has
fi nally been able to reveal his desires and fantasies to you,” Tristan wrote. “That’s a big deal,
and when it happens, many people can go through a phase of being selfi sh and self-centered.”
I agree with Tristan, but I would go a bit further: Your friend—your selfi sh, thoughtless
friend—is taking advantage of you, SMT, and as he knows you well enough to sense that meet-
ing his needs is “fun, sexy, and meaningful” for you, he fi gures he can keep getting away with
it.
Right now, your relationship isn’t characterized by a healthy give-and-take of pleasure.
You’re servicing your ex—or, to put it more charitably, you’re doing your ex a favor. The ques-
tion for you, SMT, is how long you intend to go on doing him this particular favor. If the plea-
sure you’re taking in helping him realize his fantasies is enough, then perhaps you should keep
doing him favors. But would you be writing to me about this situation if it were enough?
Early in August, a gentleman who signed himself WHACK wrote to you inquiring whether
he should clear his browser history to keep his porn viewing from becoming known to his anti-
porn wife, as the wife had noticed an empty browser history and gotten suspicious. Browser
clearing is an option, of course, but most browsers also have an option that allows users to
browse anonymously, Dan, without retaining any history, cookies, passwords, etc. Google
Chrome calls it “Incognito,” Safari and Firefox call it “Private Browsing,” Internet Explorer calls
it “InPrivate Browsing.” Turn it on before entering NSFW sites and turn if off after leaving such
sites and you can build up an innocent-looking browser history without anyone seeing anything
that might displease them.
Fanatic About Privacy
Thank you, FAP, for writing in—and thanks to the millions of other harried husbands who
wrote in to share the good news about private browsing features with WHACK.
To those who accused me of sex-advice malpractice for failing to mention private browsing
features in my response to WHACK: I didn’t know they existed, and for that I blame my hus-
band. If my spouse were a smut-shaming scold who hated porn—if he were more like WHACK’s
spouse—I would’ve discovered the private browsing features years ago.
TO MY READERS: The deadline for HUMP!—my annual amateur porn contest—is just six
weeks away! Details about entering HUMP!, and about the prizes (grand prize is $5,000!), can
be found at www.humpseattle.com.
Find the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage.
mail@savagelove.net @fakedansavage on Twitter
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EUGENE WEEKLY AUGUST 23, 2012 31