SOAK UP THE SUN
WHILE SUCKING
YOUR SWILL
BEER
BURGER, FRIES
& A PINT SPECIAL
EVERY WEDNESDAY
BY ANDY VALENTINE
T
here’s a bevy of crazy cheap beer out there that sud-suckers
pretend to hate — you know, the industry standards like PBR,
Hamm’s and other such swill. If you’re one of the many beer
drinkers below the poverty line in our wonderfully indebted
country, then there’s probably a good chance you’ll end up
drinking that stuff at some point.
In this situation, I recommend making the best of what you’ve
got: Don’t sit alone at home in the dark drinking piss-in-a-can; take
it outside into the sunshine and make a game of it. Besides, it
tastes about as good warm as it does cold.
Enter Polish Frisbee (otherwise known as Fris-Knock or Polish Horseshoes and
no, EW doesn’t endorse Polish jokes; we didn’t name this game), the drinking
game that helps you forget how watered down the domestic section tastes, and
perhaps a good way to taper off spending the last of your paycheck on beer.
The recipe is simple: four players, two empty 22 oz. bottles, two shoulder-
height plastic PVC pipes, a Frisbee, a backyard and a 30-rack of something you
don’t mind spilling or savoring (see “swill” above). Set the poles up at either end
of the backyard, balance the bottles on top and divide into teams of two.
POL I SH F R I SBEE
I N A C T I ON
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trivia
night
What runner once held the
U.S. record in the seven
distance track events from
2000 meters to the 10,000
meters and once worked at
The Old Pad?
'3&&501-":t$00-13*;&4
Every Wednesday @9pm
ANSWER: Steve Ronald "Pre" Prefontaine
Cheap beer and gamesmanship
6 REVOLVING TAPS
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From here the objective is simple: Using the Frisbee, knock your opponents’
bottles to the ground before they hit yours. If the bottle is struck directly, that’s
worth two points; if the pole is struck but the bottle still falls, that’s worth one.
Play to five. Defense is allowed, but you gotta be at arm’s length from the pole
at all times until the bottle falls; you can make a crazy, diving save if need be.
Here’s the (literal) catch that makes this more difficult than it sounds — you
have to catch the Frisbee every single time it comes to your end, and you have
to be holding a beer in one hand at all times. If you’re a cigarette smoker, tough
luck, you figure it out. If you fail to catch the Frisbee (or if the other team knocks
you), then drink. If you lose the Frisbee on a roof, or it gets stuck in a tree, finish
your fucking beer and go home, you terribly uncoordinated killjoy.
The simplicity in this wondrous pastime’s framework allows for varying rules,
so make up as many as you wish: penalty shots for awful throws, for example,
work well. If there are more than four of you playing, then try three aside instead
of making someone sit out.
As one grows older, the point of drinking games evolves as far beyond the
goal of simply getting drunk. It becomes more like a sport in which drinking is
just a perk, secondary to the actual fun of interacting with one another in
friendly competition. At the end of the day, though, it’s win-win; if you lose, you
get the honor of having more deliciously bad swill sliding down your gullet.
Enjoy Polish Frisbee responsibly, as always, and eventually you might find
that just being outside is, in itself, more than enough fun. Who knows? Perhaps
alcohol isn’t always a requirement on sunny afternoons. ■
BY EUGENE WEEKLY READERS
Bes B
t E l ST 20
at HA 0
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ig Y h H
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