culture
BY DANTE ZUÑIGA-WEST
The Fourth of Kaboom
Antique cannons and American celebration
T
he Fourth of July is a special holiday, when
Americans — regardless of race, religion or creed
— gather together to celebrate independence and
appreciate explosives.
Sure, the country may be in the death-clutch of brutal
economic recession. Yes, one could make the case that our
nation is experiencing an identity crisis in which cultural,
demographic and socioeconomic distinctions are dividing and
conquering us. But that doesn’t mean we can’t gather ‘round
and watch things blow up, for “old times’ sake.” Right?
Nothing says old times sake like an antique cannon. And
in Oregon, antique cannons are rare, but legal.
A quick look into Oregon gun statutes reveals that fi rearm
laws do not apply to antique artillery or replicas — antique
meaning any fi rearm manufactured in or before 1898, or any
replica of such a fi rearm.
So what does it take to get your hands on an antique cannon
for the distinct purpose of celebration or patriotic reenactment?
Turns out just a few phone calls to local fi rearms enthusiasts
and a bit of discretion. Discretion, because for some reason,
people who build, own and will allow you to borrow antique
cannons don’t really want all that many more people to know
about it — patriotism is wrought with diplomacy.
My contact was pleased to help, but elected to remain
nameless — let’s call him Uncle Sam.
“Come over to my place and I’ll give you a crash course,”
Sam tells me. It’s a weekday and he’s in the process of packing
to leave town for the upcoming holiday. Although I requested
his presence at the cannon fi ring, he isn’t coming along.
Sam’s crash course included a brief explanation about
the use of black powder and cannon fuse. “Don’t stand in
front of the barrel when you pack it,” Sam warns. “And use
the hand you don’t write with, just in case.”
Sam cautions and reiterates that it is not legal for me to
fi re projectiles out of the cannon. He also explains that I must
not discharge the replica over a waterway or a roadway.
Loading the cannon with black powder and igniting the
fuse results in a very loud kaboom, but no ordinance will be
propelled. The result will be an ear-splitting sound, a noise
that some might say embodies 236 years of independence …
or bullheaded arrogance.
Driving out beyond city limits, all the while offering
prayers to every god/goddess one can think of so as not to
get pulled over with a cannon in the trunk, is a peculiar type
of American experience. Even though it is legal, it doesn’t
feel comfortable.
Dragging a several-hundred pound replica of a late-
1800s era battlefi eld gun up a logging road and into the
forest is like trying to break the chains of an overbearingly
cruel monarchy — there is only one way forward and it
hurts like hell. Measuring powder, sparking it up and setting
it off (safely) is tedious. All of which could lead one to ask:
Why? Why do Americans play with explosives to celebrate
freedom? And why the hell would anyone own a cannon?
Lighting the fuse and running for cover as quickly as
possible, I came to the conclusion — because freedom is
loud, and I guess patriotism is too.
Happy Fourth of July, America, please detonate responsi-
bly.
EW
P HOTOS BY T RAS K B ED O RT HA
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