KINK
Eugene Weekly’s Alternative Dating Site
• Browse local postings
• Post your own profi le
• Connect with local singles
Respond to a Wink ad. Visit wink-kink.com and enter the ad ID
Questions? info@wink-kink.com Jayme or Jennifer 541-484-0519
FOUR LETTER WORD
GENTLE BEAUTIFUL KITTEN
DOM./MISTRESS NEED.
I want somebody who can hold
my interest, hold it and never let
it fall. A crazy angel with lips like
morphine. A lovecat longing to
fuck the pain away. LolliRott,
27, g
I’m 22, new to exploring sexually,
open to the experience. Would
love a beautiful young woman or
hot young couple. Just looking
to have gentle yet dominant fun.
Clean please. Kkitten117, 22,
Mature,goodlooking male seeks
youngish unconventional dom.
Serve a mistress,your slave for
p l e a s u r e . N e e d
dominating,caned,harnessed on
a lead.CBT very important.Do as
you wish,not many limits-serious
imaginative kinks.Plus dinner.
purpleballs, 66
PLEASURE TO PLEASE.
MAD IRISH WOMAN
Contradictory, argumentative,
opinionated, regularly intense.
You man enough to handle it?
toohot, 43, g
CURIOUS CRAVES
EXPLORATIION
I am looking for some fun after a
self-inflicted
period
of
abstinence..I’ve always been bi-
curious, and would like to
explore this. But I am also up for
a good stuffing. mistresslis-
salickylou, 29, g
CURIOUS WET PUSSY
BIGCOCK4YA
Looking to expand my horizons
and calm my stormy seas.
MPK, 46
BE MY SLAVE
PENNIES FOR PUSHING
People call me Sissy. (; I like a
little of everything, multi-col-
ored, teeth sharp as a puppy and
I’m a bit freaky. Come get it.
sissy, 23, g
GOOD VANILLA GIRLIE
I need of a woman’s touch, dying
to know what it feels like when a
beautiful female licks my pussy
& ass, suck my tits and finger me.
Pinkcurious, 33
WHY LIE?
Looking for a partially crazy/
strong/feminine woman who can
wake me up and help me feel
alive once again. monkey-
man, 41
IN THE SHADOWS
SHADOW LOVER
I’m just a young woman looking
for a man to dominate me.
DelinaRose, 20, g
g
Silly sub in serious relat. looking
to satisfy darker ambitions. No
sex, all sensual and d/s power-
play. Protocol, corporeal punish-
ment, bondage, submission,
edge play. Respectful, knowl-
edgeable, vicious domme
desired. SensualSub999,
24, g
Back after hiatus. Friends say I’m
pretty. Not first time but not
every day. Not ordinary. I want
men who like femininity and
women who give and get relaxed
pleasure. tinkerbell, 43
CLIT PLAY
i want to have the mind blowing
ultimate fantasy lived out, and
there are alot to be lived i hope
there is time for it all...
NaughtyNice, 47, g
Im pretty into domination and
have always wanted to find the
lucky girl to be my slave for a
night... or maybe more. 6”dick
and and 1.8” width. 123ran-
dom, 18
FUN LOVING NERD
Hey i’m a 26 year old guy in
Eugene who loves to drink and
do a “little” 420, party naked and
have sex! no one over 40 please.
Shambam_bamina, 26,
Just hoping for someone sexy.
jdiddle22, 25, g
ATTENTIVE YOUNG CONNOIS-
SEUR
Seeking pleasure of all sorts:
sexual, romantic, intellectual. I
love going down, especially, but
not at the cost of well-rounded
pleasure of all kinds.
DreamingInTongues, 21
GIVING MORE ORGASMS
I delight in hearing your moan-
ing, seeing ecstasy in your eyes,
the gasping of your breath, over,
over and over. Call me, Starr for
the patient heat you deserve.
LongTimeComing, 56, g
g
YOUR SEXY DESIRE
THE MYSTERY GUY...
Well this mystery guy has what it
takes to make the girls happy at
all times. Looking for any ladies
who will want to take a chance in
life. Epyon, 25
guys in mid 20’s seeking discreet
sexy encounters with other fan-
tastically attractive, open mind-
ed individuals, seeking lovely
ladies to have fun with and
explore :). thirdrock42, 24,
g
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Savage Love
WORDS OF PURE WISDOM by Dan Savage
I was recently advised to begin reading your column by my therapist. I am a 21-year-old
male and a senior at an Ivy League school. Despite my academic success, I’ve battled a lot of
stuff in the past few years: anxiety, depression, substance abuse, and porn addiction. It’s quite
a load of shit to try to wade through, but I honestly feel I’m getting better.
About sex: Before I even knew what I was really doing, my fantasies involved being sub-
jected to the erotic whims of a powerful female. I’ve tried to hide my interest in “submission”
from everyone, including potential and sometimes briefl y sexual partners. Only recently have
I begun to address this directly. I feel it is, broadly, an issue of sexual orientation that requires
something like a “coming out” process. But while there are resources out there for gay people
who are coming out, I have no road map. I have told a few friends but don’t think it’s necessary
to reveal all this to my family.
I cannot have a fulfi lling sexual experience unless my desire to have a tilted power dynamic
is understood and indulged, and I don’t think romantic love is possible for me without this part
of me being accepted and appreciated. What I would like to do is seek out sexual partners who
would be compatible. But when do I bring it up? I have this dread of that moment on a date,
perhaps a fi rst kiss, or whatever, when things are becoming unambiguously physical. WTF do I
say? Should I try to get involved in a BDSM “scene”? Date “normal” people? Online personals?
I don’t want to try to have sex again without it being known or understood. It feels like pretend-
ing and it sucks.
Seeks Understanding Baba
Generally, SUB, if it’s something that gay, straight, or bisexual people can all do — like erotic
power exchange (bondage, D/s, BDSM, etc.) — then I consider it a sexual activity, not a sexual
orientation.
Which is not to say that submission and/or BDSM can’t be hugely important to an indi-
vidual, SUB, as much about self-conception as it is about sexual expression. But you don’t have
to come out to friends and family about being submissive — you don’t have to tell them about
the stuff that turns you on — in order to fully accept yourself, get out there and date and fi nd a
nice girl who wants to subject you to her erotic whims.
Now, I’m not saying you can’t or shouldn’t tell people other than the women you date that
you’re submissive. You can be as open as you wanna be — say, with friends you feel comfort-
able telling everything — but the only people who absolutely, positively need to know about
your desires, SUB, are your sex partners.
So how do you fi nd a partner? Date vanilla girls? Trawl online personals? Get involved in
the BDSM scene in your area? Yes, yes, and yes. Get involved in the BDSM scene and take out
a kinky personal ad, and maybe you’ll meet a nice, dominant girl who wants a sexually sub-
missive — and Ivy League–educated — boyfriend. At the same time, SUB, date girls you meet
during the normal course of your daily life, like any other single guy. After she gets a chance
to know you, but before she’s too invested and/or smitten, discuss your kinks with her. This is
not a tearful confession, SUB. Your kinks are a selling point; they’re something that makes you
a more interesting sex partner. If you open up to a vanilla girl after a few weeks — and some
good vanilla sex — and she runs screaming, she wasn’t the right girl for you. (And if she blabs
to her friends about you, SUB, you may get a call from a friend of your ex who is the right girl
for you.)
Don’t marry the fi rst dominant woman you play with whom you play, SUB, or bail on the
fi rst strictly vanilla girl with whom you hit it off. A dominant woman you don’t enjoy spending
time with outside the bedroom isn’t someone you can realistically spend the rest of your life
with; a vanilla girl who really likes you may get there — she may discover that she gets off on
being in charge — if you’re patient and attentive to her sexual interests.
Finally, SUB, if you do want to come out to friends and family about being kinky, here’s a
great short video on the subject: tinyurl.com/comingoutkinky.
I am a 21-year-old gay male. For the past six months, I have been having an affair with a
man in his mid-40s. After our fi rst hookup, he told me he was married and had three children.
I was shocked at this. However, we continued to meet up for sex. I have come to the conclusion
that I am fi ne with this man keeping me a secret. I have fallen for him and he has fallen for me,
but I have no desire to break up his family. His wife was his high-school sweetheart, and he says
she is his best friend. He also tells me that if I were to quit our sexcapades, which happen to be
the best sex I have ever had, he would fi nd another man, or other men, because he is attracted
to men. We hook up every week in discreet locations where he would never get caught. I don’t
plan on telling anyone. I am torn, because we both acknowledge that, if the situation were dif-
ferent, we would make excellent life partners. I am deeply in love with this guy and want more
out of our relationship, however I do respect him and would never out him. I just want to know
if I should continue our relationship.
His Secret Love
No.
I usually love your advice and fi rst wanna say thanks for supporting the monogamish. I’m
one of the many who is happier with a little freedom — and the occasional threesome or four-
some — but who also values ground rules, respect, and honesty. Bummer some guys seem to
think deceit is the only way to play. So thanks for so many years of great advice. But… WOW!
Sometimes you really show your limits as a gay man. Someone writes to you about having
sex with his girl during her period and what to do about the bloody sheets they’re going to
leave behind in their hotel room, and you don’t even mention the Instead Softcup! No woman
has to bloody sheets or towels — or her man or her lady or her toys — just by sticking a cup up
there!
Maybe I should go easy on you, Dan, because most ladies are unaware of this awesome op-
tion. (Most ladies aren’t sex columnists, however!) It tucks up inside, it works for 12 hours, and
you can’t feel it when you have sex. (My man is hung, and we actively tried all sorts of angles,
speeds, pressure, etc., and he can’t tell it’s in there.) Put one in and you don’t get messy! And
ladies? Don’t tell me you’re squeamish about sticking your fi ngers up there. Get freakin’ com-
fortable with your own damn bodies already!
Stainless In San Francisco
Sometimes my readers learn from me, SISF, sometimes I learn from my readers. This is one
of the latter times. Ladies who want to learn more about the Instead Softcup can go to the
website: www.softcup.com. Thanks for sharing, SISF!
Find the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage.
mail@savagelove.net
@fakedansavage on Twitter
EUGENE WEEKLY MARCH 22, 2012 31